Im a bit confused

[Sahara]

Hello everybody, i have a question that needs an answer. I've felt since i was 8 a need of being female, a satisfaction when i imagined i was female. This followed all my live to now. However all my life i tried to eradicate this need, i tried, tried and tried again. I cant do it. I cant eradicate this desire since it always reapperas in my live. Im not being happy like this. I have crossdressed like 5 or 6 times, because i cant repress this need no more. I want to take hormones and change the shape of my body, however im attracted to girls and i have no interest in being with a man, so i dont want SRS since i dont mind if i have that between my legs.
I told my parents about this, they are angry with me, they even reject me. My girlfriend also knows about this... she's confused and also a bit angry.
I need help, i dont know what to do! i cant repress this feeling no more since I cant have a happy live. I know i would be described as "She-Male" if someone finds out of what I have between my legs but i dont care I need to change my body im not happy like this.

[Julie]

First of all it would be beneficial if you took a step back and relaxed. You are putting a lot of pressure on yourself trying to figure out what label to attach to yourself. You are who you are, just like everyone else.

One of the big differences between us and the rest of society is our 'secret', that part of us we'd rather not share (everyone has something), requires that we outwardly display this. So keeping it a secret is almost impossible and this puts a lot of pressure on us.

Your feelings about wanting feminine features need to be explored more in depth. Sometimes repression and/or denial exaggerates these feelings. When we are allowed to openly express our feminine personna we can get a more accurate idea of where we really are. The typical transsexual is required to live full time as a woman for a year before the final surgery in hopes of weeding out those who really don't want to be women forever. You need to allow yourself this expression to see what really makes you happy.

Just a suggestion; I take it your girlfriend hasn't left you upon discovering your crossdressing desires? If so, ask her if she would be willing to help you discover who you are and what you really want. You will be taking her into your confidence and she will be helping you, things only close relationships share. Let her know you are confused but make sure she knows how you feel about her and your sexual orientation. She needs to know this. If you are allowed to dress, and especially if you go out and socialize dressed, you will have a better understanding of what you truly want. Repressing your needs will only lead to more confusion and often depression.

[Alison Michelle]

Take what Julie said to heart. Relax and calm down a little, so many things are running through your head right now that it is hard to quantfy any one thing. This is a complex issue and having someone to work through your feelings with can be a great help. Take it slow with your girlfriend and show your deep care for her.

There are also alot of caring girls here with many varied stories including Julie and my self. You are not alone in needing to understand your self. The ladies here showed me I am OK, not a freak, I am me and that is fine with me.

Call on us any time 24/7, someone is always here.

[gennee]

Hi, Sahara. What Julie says is sound advice. I was going crazy when I had feelings about crossdressing. I thought that I was bisexual, but after some counseling, I was able to sort out my feelings. When I admitted that I am a crossdress, all the tensions disappeared. Just step back and sort out your feelings and I'm sure things will work out for you.


Gennee:rose2:

[GypsyKaren]

Hi Sahara

What I learned the hard way is that you can't supress or change who you are, believe me I tried forever and it just doesn't work. What's worked for me is finally being able to love and accept myself as is, and now I'm happy for it.

You really need to calm down a bit and talk to someone who is knowledgeable and caring. There are tg specialists out there, I just started seeing one myself, so maybe you can try to find one you're comfortable with. One other thing, something I firmly believe in, and that's it takes more than whipping out your checkbook and getting altered to make you a woman. It's all inside you, not what you got between your legs. Try to get over hating yourself for who and what you are and instead love yourself for it, that's the answer to the great riddle of the universe.

GypsyKaren

[pattied]

Hi, Sahara. What Julie says is sound advice. I was going crazy when I had feelings about crossdressing. I thought that I was bisexual, but after some counseling, I was able to sort out my feelings. When I admitted that I am a crossdress, all the tensions disappeared. Just step back and sort out your feelings and I'm sure things will work out for you.


Gennee:rose2:

Like Gennee, when I made this admission to my closest of friends, and began to wear feminine things regualrly, much of the tension in my life, largely created by me in my mind, dissipated. Get some help. Talk to others. You are not alone.

[Nyx]

I'm about your age and feel alot like you do. If you want, we could chat. My yahoo messenger id is kate_jensen14.

[Sahara]

Thank you all ill try to calm down and relax, maybe I will not post much in the forums because i have much work right now. Again, thank you all.

by the way, my girlfriend did not left me, atleast not now, but i dont think if shes passing through this situation very well...