Name selection

[Sue Too]

As a part of my transition I will be applying for a legal name change. My present name Susan Will was picked several years ago when I was a very different person.
I love the name Susan and I intend to keep it.

Thinking that whatever name I use in the name change will be with me forever I want to give it reasonable consideration. Obviously there are millions to choose from but I guess what I am wondering is there any advantage to keeping the same surname as I presently have. (Not Will) I have a very small family and no real attachment to my present surname. Any thing else I should consider? Suggestions?

Susan in Phoenix

[Dawn cd]

Your surname is what relates you to your family, whether small or large. Perhaps you are not attached to the name, but will your family think you're turning your back on them, and does this matter to you? I would talk to them before you do it.

[Frances]

Changing a surname is not possible where I live, unless keeping it puts your life in danger and you need to hide.

[danielleb]

I changed my whole name. I received a little backlash from my father for not carrying on the family name of which he is now the sole surviving carrier. I was drawn to a fresh start and my last name is not held by anyone else, no history and no heritage. Just remember that changing your last name will likely make your life more difficult when it comes to any future identity mix ups, but it's bound to get complicated fast anyway.

[Rianna Humble]

There are pros and cons to keeping your existing family name.

On the pro side you can include keeping family on-side and simplicity

On the con side you can include the desire to make a clean break and/or to go stealth

Of course, some of us chose the second path only to be thwarted by international media :cry:

[Frances]

It's possible to do it where you live Rianna? I thought our countries had similar laws.

[arbon]

A common last name can be good to better hide in this digital age. My last name is very uncommon, so any search for it its easy to find the legal record of my name change.

[Rianna Humble]

On this score, Frances, our laws seem to differ. Over here we have a thing called a "Deed of change of name" commonly known as a Deed Poll because the document edges are straight whereby you renounce the use of any part (or all) of your old name and adopt a new name.

Using that system, I just filled out a declaration that I was renouncing the use of Mr Robert John Hull and would henceforth be known as Ms Rianna Joyce Humble, got it witnessed (my manager volunteered to do that for me) and started sending out copies to those who accepted copies and originals to the others.

Crazy system meant I could do the name change by phone for one part of a government department involved in taking my money but had to send an original to another part of the same department before they would accept it.

[PretzelGirl]

It seems there can be as many pros as cons. I have thought this over and I will likely keep my surname (if I continue down the path). What I am thinking is that first, I expect to have acceptance from my family. Even if any surprise me, I will still have some attachment and I want the surname attachment to stay. I am planning on staying at the same job provided they don't change that decision for me. So stealth only goes so far. The people that know me now will obviously know then, so a last name change doesn't help change how stealth I would be. And I am also believing that keeping that last name will give some continuity for current friends and coworkers and I think that can be a plus for everyone's comfort zone.

[Angela Campbell]

In some cases you change the last name because you do not want to upset some in the family. I did. It is no more difficult to change both names as it is to change just the first.

[noeleena]

Hi,

For us = family we have quite a few we have 18 family members and im quite proud of most of them and who they are, we have one who is a ratbag at the moment , still ,

I have a few names so , birth names no-el to noeleena. edward to edwina , mannfried Von Reutchthos, Loch-head, and our history goes back to the 1300's we are Prussain , so as our family grows no dought some will carry on and wont to know about us .

...noeleena...

[I Am Paula]

When I started this journey my Mom was still alive. She had a son named Paula, so in honor of her I just feminized it. Paula would not have been a first choice, but it's mine now.
I kept my surname the same because...I don't know why.... I'm just used to it. Also, my transness is no secret.

[LeaP]

Names are so complex. I have my father's first name and my grandfather's middle name as my middle.

Despite the fact that my first name is 7th generation (at least), I'm not particularly attached to it. I don't use the full version (abbreviating it even in my signature) and while I prefer the typical nickname, it's not one I especially like, either. Finally, there isn't a corresponding female version that I like, though I'm not crazy about that approach, anyway ... not enough of a break with the male lineage past.

I have no attachment at all to my middle name. And no firm ideas of what I might use, either. Maybe none - that would be novel.

So, Lea it is. As my use extended from here into the real world a long time ago, including into my medical records, it will remain.

My last name will remain also. It's old and American, with no traceability overseas, and I like it besides. I have a strong sense of history and place, my family having lived within a 10-mile radius since the 1630's.

We relate to different parts of our names for different reasons and with varying levels of commitment and satisfaction. While my last name is a strong portion of my identity, that is mostly a matter of affiliation and not personal identity per se. Were I to change it, it would likely be to my mother's maiden or paternal grandmother's names for reasons of ethnic affiliation. So you might consider that route - anything, really, to which you have a connection, assuming connection is important to you. Connections can be family, friends, places, almost anything - even avocations (Weld, Painter, Baker, etc.) Yet another approach is to morph your first given name into a last name, ala "Stephens, Roberts", etc. Some take the opportunity to take OUT ethnic aspects of their last names, e.g., "Lipinski" to "Lipton" - something that has a long history in immigration.

So my questions are back to you: do you wish to relate to your name in a personal way, and if so, what sort of things do you relate to most closely in your life?

[Angela Campbell]

That is partly what I did. During numerous conversations with my Mother we chose Angela. It came from the fact my Mother named me after an Angel (Michael), so she wanted to keep in that line, so we discussed and eventually came up with one we both liked.

I chose not to use my last name because of my son and daughter being opposed to all of this and I didn't want to further embarrass them. I chose my paternal Grandmothers maiden name.

The middle name I picked because I just liked it.

[Nigella]

I guess I was lazy :), I just feminised my birth Christian name and kept the family name. I'm not ashamed of it and if the rest of the family are, tough.

Mind you I did drop my middle name, there was no way I was going to feminise "Henry" :eek:

[LeaP]

Funny, Nigella! I totally get it when it comes to Harriet or Henrietta. But how about other variations on the "Har" prefix in Harry, like "Harlow" or "Hart"?