My CD partner left me for another woman.

[Bev06 GG]

Strange not having a Cder in the family any more. The love of my life, the one I supported with everything he wanted to do has left me for another woman and thrown all his clothes and shoes away. He doesn't want her to know about his CDing and reckons he can give it up. I've kept some of the stuff because it has memories and I miss him terribly but wonder if one day the urge might return.

[Carole]

Hi Bev, sorry to hear your sad news. I think 99.9% of us will agree it is not something that can be given up that easily, neither is the love of an understanding lady, you are one in a million.

[kimdl93]

That really, totally and genuinely sucks! I apologize on behalf of males everywhere. Really.

Will it return, very likely. And it may prove to be the undoing of his new romantic attachment. If so, he earned it by his dishonesty to her and to you.

[anaissa]

Oh Bev, I am so sorry to hear of your news.I can't imagine what you are going through, but please know that I will keep you in my heart and will send lots of positive energy your way. Stay well, love, and good luck.

[Anna H]

Wow, that's terrible! I'm sure sorry to hear that. I've always understood
us to be a fair bit more loyal than usual...(of course there are all kinds)

As you likely well know...it's only a matter of time before he'll miss his stuff.
And she may not take to it so well.

I wish there were something remotely positive I could say....but if you'd like
to have another of us, there are Lots who'd dearly appreciate you, I do believe.

♥

[celeste26]

Yeah look out for this chump, when he returns hat in hand wanting to regain your trust.

[Genny B]

Giving people your word just doesn't have the same meaning today. Sorry to hear your bad news!
Genny B

[Stephanie47]

I think many men think crossdressing can be easily shed like an old dress. Maybe your friend will be able to abstain from buying clothing for awhile. I don't think he will be able to ignore the memories. The stimuli is all around us; pretty women, pretty women's clothing, everything feminine. The only way I knew how to cease cross dressing was to be placed in an environment without women, without feminine attire, with other critical things to survive..................the jungles of Vietnam. I wouldn't bet a shilling he'll give cross dressing up forever. I wonder how his life will be when, not if, his new women finds out about his cross dressing desires?

[Bev06 GG]

He's not having a good time of it folks he's totally guilt ridden. He left me just as I'd had a double mastectomy and just before I started my chemotherapy. It was pretty selfish of him really as he only left because I'd found out. He admitted he'd have carried on just seeing her on the side because it was just a fetish to be with a large lady. But hey I knew he had the potential - he's been fooling around on the internet with big ladies for years and said he could control it - I knew this would happen. I was devastated and he's taking some getting over but I guess for me realising how deceitful and selfish he's been has been a real eye opener. He wouldn't even stay with me whilst I went through my Chemotherapy because I was a bit frightened. And honestly no need for apologies I know not all men are the same. I just wonder what will happen if his new partner ever finds our he CDs - she doesn't appear to be the easy going type and likes masculinity, hairy chests etc.

[RADER]

Bev;
You can bet the farm that his CDing will return. Now with that said, will the new
friend be accepting or will she reject your CDer.
I give it some time, maybe less than a year, and he will find that his secret
will come out.
Now with you saving some of her clothes, she just might want to wear them again.
Hang in there, you are a very special person.
Rader

[Bria]

Bev, I'm very sorry to hear of your stresses, it's difficult to work thru either of your problem by themselves, let alone both at the same time. I hope that you are able to find the inner strenght to bear up under your burden.

I'll remember you in my prayers, Hugs Bria

[Annaliese]

What a fool, to give up on you.
He will return to dressing and then what will he have.
I am sorry
I read your other post.
I hope he get what coming to him, she leave him high and dry.
I know what I want to say, but I would get kick off of here.

[Bev06 GG]

Thanks Ladies,
Bria I do have inner strength. I'm a practising Christian and I have lots of very good friends both at work and home. I also have a very supportive family. Just before Christmas I realised that whilst I was having my chemo he'd been transferring money from my bank account into his to pay his car loan. He hasn't got a job now because he's moved to Northampton. He thought he could get a job quickly and put it back but he didn't and before he knew it he owed me over £1000. By the time I found out I didn't have any money for Christmas. I panicked a bit because I have four kids and their dad died just after Andy left me so I wanted to make Christmas nice for them. Anyway my family and friends stepped in big time by giving me money for heating oil, food and Christmas presents. God love them I just don't know what I'd have done without their love and support.

[mykell]

just had the reveal with my mrs. and thought she was not going to stick around so the feeling is still kinda fresh and im sorry that has happened to you. sounds like something selfish happened, most here would give a kidney or something to have that relationship.
it must be like losing two friends, but in my short time here there is no shortage of support, hang in there i know this wont help right now but things happen for a reason, better plans must be coming your way...

[Bev06 GG]

Mikell I believe that with my whole heart. Things do happen for a reason and obviously even though I adored him he obviously didn't feel the same about me. He says he does and that he still loves me - but heck I wouldn't do what he's done to my worst enemy let alone someone I loved. We are still in touch and I'm still his friend now I've got over the shock of everything. Life is too short to be bitter. And believe it or not I hope he's happy but part of me thinks he's not going to be.

[Annaliese]

Press charges on him. For taking your money. not for revenge but because it the right thing to do.

[ReineD]

So he is now with a fetish object (the large woman)? And he has been indulging in this throughout your relationship? Sounds like it may be a case of trading in one fetish for another. If this is the case maybe he'll be able to stave off the CDing for awhile. But just for awhile.

If he is with her for fetish reasons, it is decidedly not a basis for an emotionally lasting relationship. If I were heavy, I would hate for someone to be with me just because they have a sexual thing for large ladies.

I'm so sorry that you went through this ... at any time but especially when it happened. He most definitely placed a higher value on his pleasures than you. Good lord, where's the sense of sticking by someone that you love especially during the lowest point in her life.

[Anna H]

Press charges on him. For taking your money. not for revenge but because it the right thing to do.

And store his stuff between some protective layers of pink home fiberglass insulation.

[MsVal]

Oh, dear Bev,


I've heard about scum-of-the-earth people who leave their partners at a time of the partner's greatest need. It's wrong ... wrong in so many ways. You must be a woman of incredible faith and strength of spirit. Your partner may have left for bigger ... er ... attributes, but he left the bigger woman behind. He will live to regret his decision.


You poor dear, this is and will continue to be a very trying time of your life. Have you anyone that can hold your hand so to speak, while undergoing chemotherapy? You mention family. Hopefully they are near by.

I don't know if the words of of anonymous crossdressers mean much to you, but if they do, God bless you and heal you.

Best wishes
MsVal

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Bev
I am sorry to hear that he left you. Its bad enough when people are fully fit but in such circumstances I was say its unforgivable but only you can decide that.

I am sure he may be able to control the CD'ing for a while but not forever ( I assume its possible but unlikely)

This is for you Bev for the strenght you have shown in sharing your story with us. :bh:

[windycissy]

Of course the urge will return, and when it does and his current infatuation dumps him, he'll probably come crawling back, but after the way he treated you, please don't let him back in your life!

[sandra-leigh]

Oh no! :angry:

Bev, I hope the treatments have been successful and that your health recovers well!

Sometimes different kinds of bad things need to be cut out of our lives.

My partner is preparing to move out, and I'm sad that our relationship didn't work out, and I grieve what is now not going to happen between she and I, but at the same time it is probably a good thing for both of us.

[Stephanie47]

Bev, the world is full of men who only think of themselves and their own happiness. The world is also full of men who would have stood by your side during your surgery and healing. Please do not buy into old "sad eyes" routine of please take me back. You can remain friends from "afar." He cast his lot and now he has to live with it.

[Barbie Anne]

And store his stuff between some protective layers of pink home fiberglass insulation.

If it were me I'd mail his girl things to him and make sure it's delivered while she's there.
Either that or have a bunch of my cd friends pay them a visit. "You ready for the meeting dear?"

However, and this seems to be part of your charm, I detect not a bit of spite in you.
As has been stated, I would however pay a visit to the local police about your money. and cut off any ties with somebody that'd do that to you. If he'll do it once he'll do it again.
Take heart dear lady you are one in a million and any man worth his garter belt and stockings would be lucky to have you.

[Joanne f]

Hello Bev06,
I am sorry to hear all that you have been through and going though , I am lost for words on how you have been treated , well it is just best that I keep them to myself as love is a funny thing you never quite know where it is going to go , so I will stick to the "will the Cding return ", as I am sure you know that there are many different reasons for CDing so there might be a few that can give it up for good but I would think that in most case's it will return or the person can become very unhappy in suppressing it so I can think of two possibilities that you might hope for so you might get one of them .
I hope things go well with the Chemo and that you are not getting to many side affects .

[PaulaQ]

Bev, it's awful to discover that the person you loved, and who you've supported emotionally for years, only ever cared about themselves, and left as soon as you needed their support in return. I can relate - it's just awful.

He'll probably stew in a hell of his own making, caught betwixt and between his impulses.

You'll find someone better.

[Jennifer S]

I'm so very sorry to hear that. I find it hard to believe he will simply be able to give up dressing... Anyway, be strong. We're here for you.

[Bev06 GG]

Thank you ladies, and yes I do take heart in the support from people on here. My chemo and radiotherapy is finished. I feel like I've been on a proper journey since last March but to be honest with you dealing with the cancer was much easier than dealing with the loss of the two most influential men in my life. The father of my kids, my ex turned out to be a much better friend than husband and I miss him too. I thank God that I had the opportunity to look after him during the last six weeks of his life. I've learnt a lot about myself this past year and I've realised I'm much stronger than I thought I was and I can and will get over what has happened. One door closes another one opens and all that. I'm still young enough to enjoy the rest of my life with or without a man at my side.
Re the police, I went to the bank and they told me that the police most probably wouldn't do anything because it was domestic. I did go to the police though and they said they'd press charges but in the end I decided to leave it because nothing will bring my money back and I can't put myself through any more heart ache. He's cost me dearly financially as I've paid his debts to keep the bailiffs away but I'm free of him now and he can't hurt me any more. So I'm looking forward to my future and whatever that might bring. The good side is I got the boob job I've always wanted - not as large as I'd like but very nice shape so there you go - every cloud and all that.

[Jennifer S]

Your strength is inspirational. I'm quite sure I would crumble... You're an amazing woman, Bev and I hope your return to the forum is a lengthy one.

[Lorileah]

He's not having a good time of it folks he's totally guilt ridden. He left me just as I'd had a double mastectomy and just before I started my chemotherapy. It was pretty selfish of him You can say that again...and again and again. Unfortunately some men have no sense of honor or loyalty. You had nothing to do with that, he is what he is. As we like to point out here, it is almost impossible to change a person. His CDing will never go away and his low morals and lack of loyalty won't either. I would like to believe I am a better person, but it took a major hit for me to see the light. When something happens to "miss Right now", he will bale like a sinking dingy
I guess for me realising how deceitful and selfish he's been has been a real eye opener. Wish we could have warned you (take that from a jerk who knows what she is talking about) My wife had breast cancer and I stayed with her through the initial treatment and surgery and even more so through the second recurrence and outcome. It wasn't easy for me but I know it was harder for her. I can't even imagine. And MY guilt didn't make me feel any better.
He wouldn't even stay with me whilst I went through my Chemotherapy because I was a bit frightened. You have my total sympathy and empathy, it is all I can offer and it is very small but you know as you said, not all men are like that. Maybe listen to Tony Bennett's "I wanna be around" over and over and over :love::hugs:

[RADER]

Bev:
I wish you lived near me, I would make a special effort to find you just to give you a big hug.
Rader

[devida]

I'm so sorry to hear about this Bev. Having just had the support of my SO as I went through a potentially fatal disease I do understand how awful it must have been for you not to have had that. There is a reason that many marriage vows talk about in sickness and in health. That is what a commitment really means. I suppose it's good that you found out what a worthless and self centered person your spouse was. You have the rest of your life as the kind and compassionate person you are, while he has the rest of his life as whatever lower life form he chooses to be. But it's a bad way to find out that you are living with someone incapable of essential human kindness. But do consider, you get to live with yourself, a strong, courageous, spiritual woman, and he gets to live with himself, which is what?

[Sharon B.]

Bev; he was a D*mm fool to leave you and he will regret it, the urge will come back to him then he will have to face the consequences with her.
You are one in a million, I would give anything to find a woman like yourself.

[Kate Simmons]

Sorry to hear about all of this Bev. Glad you are back though. We love you for who you are and are here for you. You are among friends again Hon. :hugs::)

[Katey888]

I'm so sorry to hear that Bev - I know there are no words that will make it any easier for you, but at least you know that you can come here to vent a little, for a friendly ear and a shoulder to cry on.

Some people... just defy description! :Angry3:

Chin up - keep smiling as much as you can - and you have a lovely smile in your avatar pic, btw... :D The world deserves to see more of that from you!

Katey x

[Tracii G]

Thats just awful Bev.
Sorry you are having to go thru all of that stuff.
Keep in mind you can't make someone stay if they don't want to.Probably better to be without him if he treated you that way.
He sounds a bit messed up in the head to me.

[Laura Collette]

Bev, please look after yourself now and get well! I'm so sorry Mr Wrong picked this time to make his exit, but there are many Mr Rights in the world and I know you will find one. God bless you.

[Princess Grandpa]

Hug. I'm so sorry. It's a sad tale indeed. I know so many who would kill or die to have a chance with a woman like you. In my humble opinion, it's not likely he will be able to just quit. The need will return. I also believe it not likely new girl will be accepting and supportive. In the end he walked away from a remarkable woman to end up alone and sad.

Should you need an outlet to vent please feel free to contact me

Hug
Rita

[natcrys]

Wow.. just wow.. :( Very sorry to hear all these bad things happening to you. Your partner cheated on you.. and to me.. that's in my list of PFUTTD (would love to write this in full.. but this is a family friendly site).

I hope that you will get through all these things. It's irrelevant whether your partner can keep the CD feelings away (have not yet heard a successful case)..

All the best!

[kiwidownunder]

Unbelievable how someone can just up and leave like that!
I would never dream of hurting my wife like that EVER
You are an amazing person

Kiwi

[Taylor Ray]

I'm looking forward to my future and whatever that might bring. The good side is I got the boob job I've always wanted - not as large as I'd like but very nice shape so there you go - every cloud and all that.

You go, girl! I admire your courage to be able to look forward. You are an inspiration to others! I will always remember your positive attitude and strength. Thank you for sharing your journey.

[Beverley Sims]

Once the novelty of the new woman wears off he will be at it again.

I know it is hard not to follow your heart but he has "dropped" you and cast you aside.

I would sever the strings now and get on with a new life.

I wish you the best for the future.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Bev, First welcome back That is such a sad thing to have happen to you He will probably try to come
back after the new woman finds out about his little hobby, It's like the Mafia you just can't quit.
We just had our 50th and I don't see either of us going anywhere

[Tina B.]

Bev, sorry you have had to go through so much. My wife is a two time survivor of Breast cancer, I can't understand what kind of selfish cretin would walk out on some one he was suppose to care about at a time like that. And then the thing with the money, what a creep he must be.
No one deserves a guy like that, and especially a women that can deal with and love a Trans person unconditionally, that is special. What he has done, and the dream he is chasing is one of the most selfish things I've ever heard of.
I hope with the help of family, you and your kids will get through this time with out to much pain and strive, but know in the long run you are better off without a person like that in your life, he will always put is own wants in front of his family's needs, and you and your kids don't need that.
You can also take pleasure in the fact, at some point he will need to dress again, we all seem too. When he does, he will have to hide, sneak, and lie to hide it, and as you have already said, the quilt gets to him, and that is big time guilt. From the description of her, and what she wants, a man in a dress may not work for her. He could be the unhappiest one of all, before it's over.
And a great loving lady like you deserves much better than that.

[Bev06 GG]

Thanks ladies, for all your encouraging and supportive words. It's times like these that you need your friends and indeed when you find out who they really are. I'd forgotten what a supportive bunch you all were on here.

[queenie]

Some people are just not worth your time. You deserve much better...

[donnalee]

Oh Bev, how awful! You have all my sympathy.
Just remember the best form of revenge is that he has to go on being him, and you get to go on being you!

[Jenny Elwood]

Hi Bev

I am sorry to hear that you've had such a bad time. I know that things will look up for you in future, since despite what has happened to you, you still exude such a positive radiance. If there's one thing I know it is that good things follow good people.

[TrishaMarie]

Bev, I am so sorry to hear everything you have had to go through. He doesn't deserve a wonderful and devoted lady like you. I myself have tried not to do it anymore and finally just realized this is who I am and I better accept it. And honestly since I have accepted it, it has allowed my wife to better accept me, and be open to a few select friends. He will get what he deserves, it will come back with a vengeance and with the fact that he doesn't want the other lady to know about it, she probably will not accept him. As I said he doesn't deserve you. God bless you and if it is Okay with you I will pray for your treatment to make you healthy again. With Love, Trisha

[SherriePall]

Bev -- I am so sorry to hear about your troubles. So sad that the cad left you when you were going through all that. I'll be praying for you.
BTW, save his things he left behind and when the urge to dress returns, sell them back to him. Maybe you'll recoup your financial losses.

[Amanda M]

Bev, how I wish I could do or say something that would really, really help, but all I can do is offer my support in this worst of times for you. How he could have done what he did is almost beyond my comprehension. I say 'almost' because selfish people are capable of anything.

Life IS to short to be bitter. It is also too short to be exploited. The man is a a common thief. It was your money and he stole it. Get the best legal advice you can and get it back. I know it is a cliche but actions DO speak louder than words. Are his actions those of someone who loves you Bev?

When he comes crawling back - and he will - then you have a difficult decision to make. As a Christian, you do not have to be a martyr. My wife is a Christian too, perhaps not in the "in your face" sense, and when she has a difficult decision to make, she asks herself "What would Jesus do?" Sometimes, though, I have to say to her that what Jesus would have done is maybe a bit different. In your view, He was the Son of God, but you are only human. Bev, respect yourself. If you want to talk or just vent, please PM me.

Why, oh why, are words just so inadequate!

My very best wishes and hopes,
Amanda.

[CONSUELO]

I am so sorry to hear about this and I wish you all possible strength to overcome the betrayal. I doubt that the decision to stop all crossdressing will last and sadly another person is going to possibly suffer too.

[Sandra]

His loss you deserve better :hugs:

[giuseppina]

I`m saddened to hear of this, Bev. From the sound of things, it`s good riddance.

[Kristy 56]

Bev, I have no advice to give,however I just wanted to tell you that I hope things work out for you the way you want them to.
Keep your chin up. :)

[dawn459]

My cd partner left me for another woman. Bev Prayers is one way of relieving your stress.
I am reminded of the Hymn Amazing Grace The words of the first line says Amazing Grace how
sweet the sound that once saved me I once was lost but now I am found. Yes through Gods amazing
grace through prayer will carry you through this rough time.

[stephNE]

Bev, I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope all will somehow turn out better for you.

[Megan Thomas]

Hi Bev. What an amazing and terrific lady you sound. With all the adversity you've faced and overcome you really didn't need to be let down by the one person you probably least expected to do so. Take comfort from your own actions and walk tall, for you are the stronger, better person in all of this. I hope your friends and family continue to offer their support as you need it and you go from strength to strength in life. We all need people like you and I hope life gets better for you sooner rather than later! :-)

Megan x

[krissy]

You are one of the great women that most of us wish we had, Be strong .his loss, we all know we cant just give this up.we are here for you

[Mollyanne]

My heart goes out to you not only for your honesty but also for your strength. One day, he will have to atone for his behavior and how he betrayed you, how he didn't abide by his vows of marriage and the emotional pain he caused you. Actually you are my heroine for all your strengths and your honesty. GOD BLESS YOU!!!!!

Molly

[Cheryl T]

His CD'ing will return and if he returns to your doorstep SLAM the door in his face. You don't need someone that inconsiderate and obviously not in love with you.
If he left you in your time of need after you supported him, then close that chapter and move on...you can do much better !!

[Maria in heels]

Bev....sorry to hear that he is putting you thru an awful time. Yes, many people are truly selfish, and never tai into account what we do for them, until their world collapses. You have been a strong, great partner, and it sounds like he was a fool .... as my wife says, what comes around goes around. Keep that smile that you have in your profile pic going, and if you need someone to just talk with, please feel free to reach out to me...

[Launa]

The old cliché what goes around comes around........ This is very true and does happen.

I can't believe all this could happen to one person, most CD'ers would kill for a spouse that would love them unconditionally.