Oh hi! Are you my friendly telemarketer?

[Martha G]

Having fun with the telemarketers.

I have a voice that sounds a lot like a woman's voice over the telephone.

So I feminize my voice and introduce myself as the "lady" of the house.

So far none have caught on.

How dare these telemarketers interrupt my privacy with their phone calls.

Martha is not one to fool with.

Getting back at the telemarketers and doing voice practice at the same time!

Oh my!

[FemPossible]

I don't even have to disguise my voice. I sound very feminine on the phone to some people. It's funny because they'll say "hello ma'am, may I speak to so-and-so"? and I'll say, "I'm him" and I'll hear a slight pause and then they continue talking.

[Martha G]

On the phone I basically sound like a woman. Even times when I was speaking to someone and they were not looking at me I was called Ma'am.

Just try to feminize my voice a little more for effect.

Anyway practice makes perfect!

[Lillyasia]

I cancelled my house line because the only people calling were telemarketers. Everyone else calls my cell phone.

[natcrys]

So envious! I have a relatively low voice.. and the standard setting is already a bit on the loud side, since I regularly give lectures in large rooms without a microphone.

Any tips on feminising your voice?

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Martha, When they call and ask if I will take a survey I will say ok but I only have a few minutes
then when they get going I will say you have to hurry up then I will say sorry but we just ran out of time, CLICK !

[Adriana Moretti]

ha ha i JUST did this 5 minutes ago...I called to confirm a reservation and the persons response was "What name is it under ma'am?"....YES points for me!!!!

[Hell on Heels]

I've answered the phone once, not recognizing the number calling, in my best femme voice I simply said "hello", the person calling happened to be a co-worker of my SO's, with a very confused voice they said " hello **** ,is that you?" I quickly coughed, and reverted to male voice. Whoops!

[Tracii G]

I do that to when they call and always have fun with them.
I asked one out on a date a few months back.I told him he had a nice voice and asked what he looked like.
He said well I'm pretty much a nerdy type and a little chubby.I said oooo just my type and he seemed shocked that I was remotely interested in a guy like that.LOL
He was in Dallas and I'm in Ky so we had a good laugh.

[Barbie Anne]

I used to be in that industry, albeit I only called existing customers with upgrade offers but I've had a bunch of different ones used on me and was able to see the humor in most of them.

One of my favorites was the classic Seinfeld response........"Sorry I'm busy right now but if you give me your home number I'll call you later during YOUR supper." I've had them blow sports whistles into the phone.....Painful with a headset on.

[cdinmd206]

I feel for you Barbie
These people are trying to make a living like the rest of us. They deserve some respect. They do not know what time you eat and they certainly are not trying to personally mess with you. My advise to people who start moaning and groaning about telemarketers is to not answer the phone. Let it go to record a message.
My nephew was a telemarketer for years and according to him if someone blew a whistle or got really nasty their name was sure to be given to other marketers with a star by the name to signify the person was a jerk and they would receive lots of calls

[Barbie Anne]

Cdinmd; yeah while I never did this myself I know of it being done.

[Jorja]

Sometimes when the telemarketers call I will play along and let them go through their entire script. Then I will say, sorry, I just bought from who ever the local competitor is. It has cut down on the calls considerably.

[giuseppina]

Our land line was delisted about 25 years ago for unrelated reasons. A side effect is 99.9% of the telemarketing calls stopped.

[Persephone]

My all-time favorite way to deal with a telemarketing call - Tom Mabe Crime Scene Call (click here - contains audio) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7OgWcwgB50).

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Beverley Sims]

I listen and then I fire a whole lot of related questions at them, and whilst they have cotton wool in their mouths I explain that the product I have is amazingly similar to theirs.
Otherwise I say I am not between the ages that they require nor am I the preferred sex or even owner of the property.
Then I ask for their contact details so as the required person can contact them later because they would be extremely interested.

All very time wasting really. :)

[Katey888]

Martha - that's a great way of doing it - I've wondered how Katey is ever going to get any voice practice - this could be it!

Presently I always tell them once they begin their patter that before they do, I have to ask them some security questions to confirm who they are - that normally meets with stunned silence - and for those that persevere, I ask them for their DoB, home postcode, and if they're sitting by a window, to describe the signage and windows on the closest building to theirs... :doh: if anyone passes that I just put them on hold to music while I get a pen and paper... :)

Voice practice for Katey then... I rather fancy talking like Kristin Scott-Thomas - all clipped and very, very English... :D

Katey x

[donnalee]

If you really want to have some fun (without inducing a heart attack) and have a little extra time (not too much), this is a fun way to proceed:
All these guys have a script they read from; let them get a ways through it, then ask them a question. Insist on an answer and let them answer it; they will probably try to divert you, but insist. They will have to start over from the beginning. Repeat as many times as you like, then explain to them that you don't do business over the phone and, since they already know your address, to mail the information to you.
If that happens (and it hasn't yet for 30+ years), file it in the proper place.

[FemPossible]

I cancelled my house line because the only people calling were telemarketers. Everyone else calls my cell phone.

This is like the 10th time this week I've heard someone say that they prefer their cell over a landline. When I finally get my own place I think I'm going to just use my cellphone as well.


I feel for you Barbie
These people are trying to make a living like the rest of us. They deserve some respect. They do not know what time you eat and they certainly are not trying to personally mess with you. My advise to people who start moaning and groaning about telemarketers is to not answer the phone. Let it go to record a message.
My nephew was a telemarketer for years and according to him if someone blew a whistle or got really nasty their name was sure to be given to other marketers with a star by the name to signify the person was a jerk and they would receive lots of calls

I understand that perfectly but some companies like to persist and keep calling, like debt collectors who call me just because I have the same name as some deadbeat who won't pay their bills, but I digress.

[iGenny]

I thought about trying that a couple of months ago. Since then, I only had one call when I was alone and could try it, and it turned out I too had to quickly lower my voice back - it was a friend of my wife. Her friend did think I was the wife, though. :)

Still looking for the chance to practice!

[Martha G]

Well since I have caller id I know.

When I get one that says unidentified I let them say the first words.

You can't put one over on old Martha!

Then comes the voice practice!

Having a voice that tend to sound like a woman's voice on the telephone I go to it!

Oh my!

LOL!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Persephone, ]My all-time favorite way to deal with a telemarketing call - [URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7OgWcwgB50"]Tom Mabe Crime Scene Call

Hi Persephone, That has to be one of my all time favorites too.

[Tina B.]

Screw telemarketers, I lost all respect for them as a profession when I listed on the National no call line, it worked well for a while, then they all said they didn't care and started calling again.
I didn't ask them to call me, just like I didn't ask for door to door salesmen to bother me, You choice to work in such an annoying field, don't complain when you don't get a friendly reception.
I'm tired of that guy from India that keeps calling me to tell me they know about all the mess on my computer and can fix it over the phone for just a Credit card number and access to my computer.

[Martha G]

I just had a great success.

A local company wanted to invite me to a new opening as well as a free gift.

I used my best woman's voice ( since I do sound like a woman on the phone at times)!

I spoke about three minutes to the lady calling me Miss and M'am the whole time.

She said I sounded like a young person and I told her I was 71! She was amazed.

They wanted to send me a free gift since I was unable to attend the opening but the catch was I had to give them a name of a friend or relative. I simply said I do not give out that info over the phone.

So! No gift.

I would have loved to go to the opening and meet that person in one of my shortest skirts! LOL!

But the main success was that she really thought that I was a woman. And a young one at that!

Well, that just made my day!

[Aeslyn]

My favourite way to deal with telemarketers in Canada... Listen to some of what they have to say and then tell them I am a telemarketer myself and that they have just broken at least three of the CRTC's regulations so if they ever call me again I will report them, their company, and the company they are calling for to the CRTC. It is so fun to listen to them sweat on the other end of the line. Honestly, you can year the sweat. lol

[sometimes_miss]

O.K., remember, they called you, you can't be prosecuted for an obscene phone call. So have fun. When they ask you questions, respond with such as, what are you wearing, do you date your customers, tell me what you want me to do to you, put your hand in your panties and tell my how it feels, etc.. Remember you can adjust the discussion to men as well and make them feel VERY uncomfortable unless of course they are gay, but then you can have fun with that too. They usually hang up after less than a minute of so of that. Don't feel bad about doing this, remember they're trying to get money from you, it's only fair that they provide some entertainment!

[Devi is here]

LOL. They always think that I'm a woman cause of my soft spoken voice.

[Martha G]

LOL. They always think that I'm a woman cause of my soft spoken voice.

I have that problem also but my voice is a little higher pitched!

[Jessica EnFemme]

I usually ignore anything I don't recognize on caller ID (if it's important, they can leave a voicemail). But if I'm feeling fun I'll try to get the telemarketer to quit, or at least seriously reconsider his career.... "So, Bill, is this really where you wanted to be at this point in your life? Cold-calling people on the do-not-call list for a living? Using a fake company name and fake caller ID? Really? Have you ever thought if your employer doesn't care about breaking the law, they're going to care about paying you what you're owed? You know what's going to happen, Bill? You'll show up to work one day and everything will be gone. Your employer will have skipped on to the next town. And you won't be paid a cent of what you're owed... I'd suggest you quit right now, Bill. Stand up and quit. You're working for free, Bill, and you're being played. You're better than that..." etc. It's usually met with silence, or "ummm.." but usually I can tell they're thinking just that. :D

[lingerieLiz]

I'm a fan of Tom Mabe also. When the marketers for the police call I tell them that I hate cops. One guy said oh this is for the children. Told him I hated them even more, the little monsters. He told me I was a real sick-o. While my voice is soft most assume it is male. I've told a few of them I'm the woman of the house. It really confuses them.

My daughter who speaks several languages with the accents to go along can keep them on the line for a long time. She will play as though she only speaks a little broken english and then act confused and have them repeat things over and over. She even has had translators going crazy by switching languages when they come on the phone.

[Melissa in SE Tn]

Martha, I loved your story. You are toooo much !!!