How surprising

[Ivy Lee]

I have gathered that many members on here are open so for those this might or might not apply. I, like most people dress for the feeling of being feminine and adopting a whole new personality from going out in public to clubbing and sometimes up to and including hooking up with guys. Im wondering if you are completely different as a guy, so much so that if anyone found out it would blow peoples mind. I will start for instance. From the time i was 16 I have welded and worked construction, I played football and boxed in high school. I go to a military college and on top of that I am in the Army...Infantry to top that off. For the most part I was considered a ladies man... who would have guessed.

[Barbie Anne]

First off; Thank you for your service!

In answer to your question, When I'm in full time boy mode I present as a biker type. Long hair, van dyke goatee, Harley shirts, jeans and black leather belt. When I'm in full time Barbie-land,(which is more and more lately), I'm ultra femme From the top of my dyed blonde hair right down to my red glitter toenails and toe rings/anklet.

I don't know if we cd'rs whilst in drab try to portray the polar opposite of our true selves or if we overcompensate when we can be en-femme by tipping the girly richter scale to 8.5. Maybe it's a bit of both? I know I love the outdoors and my power tools and all the quaint cro magnon things that are typically manly, but I also get all fluttery when I get dressed in something pink comfortable and flannel or fleece and fire up my sewing machine.

Again Ivy Thanks for your Service dear. Barbie.....Seaman recruit Co. 021 div. 13 U.S.N. 1981-1981 Honorable under general conditions re4-jhj. Not suitable for military service due to substandard performance or inability to adapt to military lifestyle.
Translation: Gender identity issues and bisexuality...........You live in a much easier time to be in the military. Count yourself lucky :)

[Ivy Lee]

you raise a good point, maybe i overcompensate my masculinity or maybe I go crazy while en femme to off set having to be masculine all the time. Thanks for your reply.

[Barbie Anne]

You're entirely welcomed hon. And as long as you're safe on post or off, be true to yourself and enjoy life while you're young :)

p.s. get your 10 posts in so you can recieve friend invites :)

[Jenniferathome]

Ivy, there is no doubt that if anyone knew I was a cross dresser their minds would be blown. I don't know how my wife's head didn't explode when I told her. No one else knows and they'd never guess. Still, I do not adopt a "totally different" personality. I am me at all times: straight, married, male. When I am dressed, I don't do my typical male activities but only because of the sweat, dirt and often blood.

[Ivy Lee]

Well i guess "totally different" was a bit too extreme but i think you understand where I was trying to come from. thank you

[Adriana Moretti]

good interesting thread....as for me...nobody would be shocked...but alot more things would make sense to certain people if they did know.

[Rachel_B]

Ivy,

Thanks for serving (I was in the Army as well). I don't portray anything manly in drab because I don't like watching/playing sports. Most of my time is spent playing video games. I am just myself, that's it.

[Christen]

Ivy,
For me I have a suspicion that a very small group of friends might not fall over if they knew. But everyone else, yeah they'd be extremely surprised.

Christen x

[anaissa]

Thank you, darlin', for your service and your bravery. I really appreciate what you men and women do and I admire your courage to be who you are.

Loved your post. As for me, in my full time male life I am a hospital executive who would shock the he'll out of my colleagues if they knew of my feminine side.

[Patty-Fay]

When I'm dressed as a man, I go for as manly as possible (considering I'm 60). En femme, I go for as girly as possible. I don't think either is compensating, per se. I think that in each case I want to showcase and experience that side of me, to the fullest.

[Mistyjo]

Ivy
For me the answer would be Yes it would blow there minds

[Tracii G]

Yep it would blow a few minds of old friends that knew me in the 70's.

[Beverley Sims]

You probably would not be recognised by your close associates.
It would seen out of character.
The same applies to me.
I still stay hidden though.

[Katey888]

Ivy, as someone still very closeted (but you can see the grooves made from fingernails on the inside of the door... :eek:) - I think I can say with some assurance that most folk and family would freak out - most initially and probably most long term. I'd also say that 99% of that would be from how I look rather than who I am... that doesn't change hugely.

Perhaps that's something that you can't quite yet fully appreciate but will as you mature more? You're still experimenting and developing and that will ultimately arrive at some sort of balance - hopefully, for you, all aspects of who you are will have found a space to co-exist. While we most certainly dress to feel feminine, I suspect most don't use it as a mechanism for 'a whole new personality' - rather a more subtle shift to the eternal feminine...

And looking at your very attractive avatar, Ivy :o, I suspect there are probably more than you suspect who have guessed.. :)

Good question... Katey x

[noeleena]

Hi,

Despite what some may think or say a woman ...can ...work in construction and be trained as a builder, and do sports,be a strong person in body, and mind be in the Navy and do farming work yes all manual hard yacker , and if not why not .

one does not need to be male to do that, some of us are built ( born with ) with that body strength we need hey i did not say feminine looking .
well i proved it and did it, yes okay im the weird one, still done my time of 46 years, i was percived wrong now its been corrected, so does not matter,

Ill take your ? are you different as a man, never was possible, plus did not know how to be a male, even if i tryed,

...noeleena...

[natcrys]

18 years ago.. there might have been a huge difference between my boy and girl mode. I had a beard and mustache, for crying out loud!

Nowadays.. the differences are more a matter of nuances and accents.

(still like football, drinking beer and cursing like a sailor when my favourite team loses! :censor:)

[Tina B.]

Sorry Ivy, you are not unique at all, there is a lot of service and ex service men among us, Police, firemen, truckers, and engineers among us. Maybe we hide in those Macho jobs, or maybe, you just find us in all walks of life.
I've always been a mans, man, what ever that means, but behind closed doors, I'm just the sweetest thing you could imagine.
Well to the group by the way, always glad to see another military dresser, sure would be nice if you where as safe in there as a gay person, but Trans don't have the dame rights, so keep your eye's open and your head down!

[MsVal]

Hello, Ivy, welcome to the forum, and thank you for your service.

The gals here practice many different kinds of feminine expression. I'm certain that in time you will collect many nuggets of wisdom from their posts.

"Im wondering if you are completely different as a guy"
Gradually, bit by bit, whether conscious or not, my presentation is becoming more feminine, regardless how I am dressed. That's okay with me, in fact, I like it.

I have a masculine persona that has developed over the years. It fits okay, but it's not entirely "me". I don't care for all the "Real Men" activities. Football, hunting, hanging out with the guys while drinking beer and watching NASCAR, etc don't interest me, and neither go the women that like those activities. I'm not crazy about masculine clothing. It's all pretty drab, in my opinion. No matter how fine they are, a room full of suits is a room full of suits. Only the neck ties are different.

I'd rather express the softer, gentler, more compassionate, more expressive feminine characteristics and dress in a manner that is consistent with them. It helps that I'm drawn to the texture, color, and variety of feminine clothing.

Best wishes
MsVal

[KatieV]

Perhaps you're not overcompensating but just being yourself - and you bring high energy to everything that you do. At times I feel competitive/masculine and at others intensely feminine, much adrenaline in both cases! Life is filled with interesting contradictions, no?

[teri g]

I work in the auto repair industry, ride a big motorcycle, do all my own home repair, mountain bike, cuss like a sailor-at-sea etc. Yes my friends would be surprised (but I believe mostly accepting).

[Caden Lane]

I was a cop for fifteen years. I think a great number of people would be surprised. I always felt that I overcompensated in both directions. In manly venues I was rough and tumble, get in there and make the arrest, walk into a bar fight and come out carrying two at a time.

As Caden, I find myself drawn to sexy, feminine, pretty things.

But recently, I think that I'm more or less just me. The things I do and like are part of me, not me trying to overemphasize the facets of who I am.

[sometimes_miss]

Because of my job, where every male is considered automatically gay until proven otherwise, virtually everyone would just say, 'it figures, I knew something about him was queer'. How do I know? I've been hearing that from people about other men in my job for decades, so I don't suppose I'm any different, just that the gay jokes disappeared from their repertoire (when I'm present, anyway) when I entered the profession.

[Shy_Confusion]

I think my friends would be shocked for the most part, maybe one or two wouldn't. I've definitely towed the masculine line for most of my adult life.
Lately I find that being the stereotypical male and living inside that box to be somewhat like claustrophobic confinement. The comfortable has become a jail cell.
Not only do I feel more personal freedom tapping into my feminine side it's a little bit of my way of "flying the bird" at broken social conventions.

[Jamiegirl1]

Great thread.....I am sooo opposite while in male mode,I weld,build 4x4 trucks,shoot guns,am very manly........when in my true mode, I am relaxed,feel soft and submissive,and much happier...............I think shock is what would be everyone's response if they knew....

[sabrinaedwards]

I am a sucessful male and all would be surprised to know that I am a crossdresser! I sometimes feel like a light switch; click it one way and I am very masculine, but turn that switch the other way and I am very "girly" Tonight I am in the girl mode and it feels soooo sweet. It's great to communicate with y'all in this feminine state of mind.

[Aeslyn]

Well Ivy Lee, I would just like to comment on how beautiful you look in that photo. I think if people who didn't know about your fem side saw you like that their minds would definitely be blown, but in a very good way :)
For myself, I think people would be surprised and I have no idea why. I work hard to construct a friendly, warm, understand, and outgoing dynamic image of myself. But I have a very soft side I am not afraid to show. I get along with many of my female friends as though I were just one of the girls. I never thought, till recently, that it would actually blow most peoples minds to know that I crossdress. Apparently, however, I come across as quite an alpha male despite my softer side always showing. Just before Christmas, in a group of about 100 people far more than half of which were men, I and one other guy were directly referred to as "the alpha males in the group". I had never in my life thought of myself in this way. Then, when teaching one of my classes in January almost everyone in the room, most of which have know me for a couple of years or more, were shocked to learn that I like (am almost obsessed with) cute stuff. It is interesting when we find out how we are viewed and learn that we are often viewed as something very different from how we feel. Yes, I say peoples minds would be blown about me.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Ivy Lee, If any of my macho friends ever saw pictures of me dressed they wouldn't believe it.
I've always had very manly jobs and hobbies.

[TxCassie]

Hi Ivy,

You bring up a topic that is much discussed among CDs. For years, when I didn't dress, I couldn't possibility imagine of me going anywhere near being femme, much less dress 'en femme". Of course, I was in great denial and all that macho stance was easily and totally destroyed as begun to dress. Now, I relish the femme side of my persona, think of being 'en femme' all the time, and could not live without Cassie in my life.

Yet, said that, I can go days, weeks, without dressing and be very comfortable in my male persona. I am in upper management at my full-time job, and I have a part-time job in public safety. In the former, I am known for my formidable tenacity and political savvy and I have learned to cultivate and nurture an even more alpha male persona for my later job, which I have seen it manifested in my full-time job as well.

But once, the slacks, the ties, the dress shirts come off, the duty belt, boots, and the panties, the stockings, the dresses go on, the release of my male persona is such a relief, I cannot begin to describe it, or maybe you already know. The softness and freedom of being Cassie is so liberating and even though I often am confined to wear body shapers to keep that male belly in check, I still free and light as feather.

My friends who know me as a male, would be shocked, but I do feel now, especially after I have evolved, that the more astute person would be able to put the two persona's together and construct an understanding of the whole, that one fits the other.

In the beginning, the contrast of personalities, can be fun, outwitting everyone, but in time, the two must merge in one form or fashion. The merger can cause conflict which many of experience, but again, in time, we all learn how to put the two sides of our personality on a the same plane, in their proper perspective. For many, we find dressing partime, is all we need, for others, making major changes to our life where our feminine self take the predominant being our personality and takes root, and then others, discover their true self and take the journey to transition. We are all different, the important part is that we are happy with who we are and live safely and happily with those who love us and who can accept us for the whole wonderful being that we are, in drab, and en femme.

You are young and I encourage you to pursue your masculine life to it's fullest extent, if that is what you feel is right and discover who Ivy is and let her grow to her fullest extent. It's an awesome journey of a person's life being transgender. Buddy, you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, so girl, stand tall in your pumps.

Cassie :love:

[juliana]

Yep it would blow a few minds for sure

[Marcelle]

Hi Ivy,

Yep I would and have blown a few minds. Those I have come out to know my military past (combat arms, SF) and quite blown away by the revelation. Have never received a "Ah that explains it" comment.

Hugs

Isha

[Michellegryl]

I think for the most part people would be shocked and some blown away, for a very small group they might say, ah ha those little things that kinda seemed out of character now make sense.