Persephone
02-20-2014, 02:44 AM
First some background so you can appreciate the surreal experience.
I'm at the monthly dinner of one of the women's groups that I belong to, dressed casually in a group t-shirt, above-the-knee denim skirt, flats (and appropriate undergarments, of course). Makeup consists of eyeliner, mascara, brown brow gel, lipliner and lipstick; no foundation.
Attendance is a bit light tonight, about 16 women (all GGs except me).
Our group has a rule of no men at our dinner meetings. Husbands and SO's are sometimes invited to other events, but not to dinner meetings. There is a reason for this, in our age group of more mature women a man can easily dominate the conversation and, frankly, with a man present, even if he were to remain uncharacteristically quiet, it changes the open nature of the conversation, so no men allowed.
But there is a problem. Frequently, a couple of the women tend to bring their husbands in tow, perhaps brcause they are uncomfortable driving alone at night. If there are two or more of these husbands there is no problem because they can be sent off to some other part of the restaurant to dine together.
Sometime, though, there is only one, usually the spouse of the same woman, I'll call her J. for now. Then it seems rude to ostracise one lone guy to some corner of the restaurant, so he ends up sitting at our table, and, sure enough, sooner or later he is an obstacle to open female speech.
The Chairlady has often indicated the group's discomfort to this woman but she persists in frequently bringing him and the group dynamics are such that the Chair is not comfortble with tossing her out of the group over this issue.
But tonight J.'s husband is not with her.
Now to the surreal...
Noticing this, several women around the room comment on his absence, probably hoping to reinforce in J. just how much his presence is disapproved of.
In my corner, surrounded by other women, we're talking about how nice it is that this time there are no men present.
Pretty much made my day!
Hugs,
Persephone.
I'm at the monthly dinner of one of the women's groups that I belong to, dressed casually in a group t-shirt, above-the-knee denim skirt, flats (and appropriate undergarments, of course). Makeup consists of eyeliner, mascara, brown brow gel, lipliner and lipstick; no foundation.
Attendance is a bit light tonight, about 16 women (all GGs except me).
Our group has a rule of no men at our dinner meetings. Husbands and SO's are sometimes invited to other events, but not to dinner meetings. There is a reason for this, in our age group of more mature women a man can easily dominate the conversation and, frankly, with a man present, even if he were to remain uncharacteristically quiet, it changes the open nature of the conversation, so no men allowed.
But there is a problem. Frequently, a couple of the women tend to bring their husbands in tow, perhaps brcause they are uncomfortable driving alone at night. If there are two or more of these husbands there is no problem because they can be sent off to some other part of the restaurant to dine together.
Sometime, though, there is only one, usually the spouse of the same woman, I'll call her J. for now. Then it seems rude to ostracise one lone guy to some corner of the restaurant, so he ends up sitting at our table, and, sure enough, sooner or later he is an obstacle to open female speech.
The Chairlady has often indicated the group's discomfort to this woman but she persists in frequently bringing him and the group dynamics are such that the Chair is not comfortble with tossing her out of the group over this issue.
But tonight J.'s husband is not with her.
Now to the surreal...
Noticing this, several women around the room comment on his absence, probably hoping to reinforce in J. just how much his presence is disapproved of.
In my corner, surrounded by other women, we're talking about how nice it is that this time there are no men present.
Pretty much made my day!
Hugs,
Persephone.