Girl persona.

[funlovinlocal]

I've been in a loving and informed relationship for more than a year now, but feel like it still has a little way to go, in terms of my dressing. We've dressed up fully together several times but I'm still very nervous about acting girly(or really discovering how to do so). I'm not sure if it would cause a paradigm shift at all between us. Any advice from someone who maybe has gone through something similar?

Steph

[Jenniferathome]

My opinion is that you needn't "act." If you are acting, you are not yourself. Heels will make you walk differently. Carrying a purse makes you move differently. Wearing a wig makes you adjust hair that you normally don't have. Just be.

[kimdl93]

Amen. Why act. Be yourself.

[PaulaQ]

It actually takes a great deal of time to learn how to act like a woman - a good deal of this stuff is learned when we are quite young.

However, I think what you are really, Steph, is that you want to express more feminine behaviors that you are feeling - that is, you want to be more of yourself maybe, but you are worried your wife will freak out? Or are you asking something else?

I think the best course of action is to talk to your wife about what you have in mind, since she's already so accepting. Unless, of course, you aren't sure exactly what's in your mind - a not uncommon state of affairs here! In which case, tell us some more, because we can't read your mind, darlin'! :hugs:

[kimdl93]

Paula makes a good point. Talk to your wife. Besides that, just watch other women. You may be surprised to recognize that you already possess some traits that appear feminine in the appropriate context. For example, I have a wiggle when I walk (according to my wife), throw like a girl, I sit like a girl and I'm fairly animated and use my hands a lot when I speak. But none of these are conscious.

[Jesse Six]

you already possess some traits that appear feminine in the appropriate context

Yeah, I always wondered why my dancing was so unusual. Turns out it's completely appropriate, so long as I wear a dress! :D

[Tina_gm]

I have a wiggle when I walk (according to my wife), throw like a girl, I sit like a girl and I'm fairly animated and use my hands a lot when I speak. But none of these are conscious. I too have many feminine mannerisms kimdl93. They occur naturally. I don't know that I wiggle, but I have been told that I have a feminine gait of sorts, certain hand gestures I definitely sit the way women typically do. It is just natural and comfortable for me. When at work or out in public somewhere, family friends etc etc, I have to sometimes make a conscious effort to minimize these. Although there are times I simply am not aware that I am doing these. I guess I have always felt the need to not be feminine in public, as I have known in the past that I sometimes do have the feminine tendencies, I have been told several times even before coming to terms with myself that I had fem ways about me. I can usually shut them down if I try hard enough. When I am home alone, I just let go and do whatever comes naturally, and it is a mix of masculine and feminine.

[Christen]

All the advice here is so right. For me, if I ever get out, I just want to show some grace and elegance. Show what's inside you, that's the most beautiful part.

Christen x

[Devi is here]

My SO got me into realy CDing alot. She is so awesome. She has been having me dress up at home fore a while now. And yesterday she sugested we go out somewhere sometime with me dressed up. I'm nervouse about it but I'm onbored for it. Maybe go somewhere where no one would see us first to test the waters and see how that goes. But first we need to go shopping for some more clothes to do that. Cause all I have are ****ty stuff now. lol :)

[Beverley Sims]

You wear the clothes often, playing the part does come naturally if you do it often enough.
A little change in mannerisms occurs daily, you always pick up something new.

[Lynn Marie]

Although we go out together and often meet with me enfemme, I just naturally want to be hunky boy with my gf. It's just deeply ingrained in me. I'm almost embarrassed trying to emulate a woman with her around. I'm far more comfortable with her in boy mode. It's just the way it is.

[Helen Grandeis]

Be age appropriate. Read on line since there are lots of write ups. Practice Practice. Practice. Stick to the bigger things

[Shari]

Take it from one who once lived the dream and then had it ripped away. I was out to my wife and all was good but things slowly degraded. I'm sure much of it was my fault as I pushed the boundaries further and further until it all exceeded her comfort zone.
One of the things my wife told me toward the end was (and this was with a far less than accepting gaze) "You act so different when you're dressed. You walk differently, move differently, etc." I wasn't conscious of my actions but she saw them and just flat didn't like it.
I dress alone now.
Go slow with her. Baby steps.

[Jordan]

The best I can say is talk about what you want to do and see where it goes

[MsVal]

<Here in the bargain bin of advice, we see something from MsVal, substantially marked down from it's original two cents.>

It sounds like you have disclosed your desire to wear feminine clothing, you are off to a pretty good start, and you are in a position that many would envy. That's Great!

I recommend ignoring your personal interest in taking things further, relying instead on your girlfriend's desires. She may not vocalize those. Unless you are better than most guys at reading minds, you ought to have ongoing frank discussions about the matter.

Best wishes
MsVal