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Wonderwho
02-24-2014, 11:31 AM
For the last 30 years I have been self employed, due to changes in location and the
living situation I have started a new job in the sales force of the big box world.
I am a CDer in the somewhat closet world. I underdress as the weather allows and the situation let's me get away with.
The new job place has a very open policy about equality in the workplace with concerns about gender.
The situation is that I am working with a large groupe in direct contact with the public.
There are several Gay men in my department, they actually are the more productive members of the team, I have no problem except that one of these members noticed that I was wearing a sports bra, I have somewhat larger breasts than most and the support Is nice, he made several comments that I felt were out of place.
I lost my cool and returned with a statement (no one cares if your gay so why do you care if I ware a bra?) his return was that CDing was F***ed up!,.
If he reports me I will most likely get written up.
It is this attitude that wears on my desire to be part of the outside work force, there is protection for for all except us.
I will change my habits for a while and see what the outcome of all this is, but I will
not change who I am just to be part of the quiet generation.
Wonderwho

teri g
02-24-2014, 11:54 AM
His reaction is nothing short of shocking. How could a gay person in this society be so ignorant of acts of discrimination? What a selfish bonehead.

bridget thronton
02-24-2014, 11:59 AM
It may not be worth the trouble - but your comments as stated are not inappropriate and his are. I doubt HR would take his side in a dispute.

Annaliese
02-24-2014, 12:03 PM
If he say any thing again, just say you would expect more acceptance from him.

Barbie Anne
02-24-2014, 12:06 PM
Sadly, and I have no earthly idea why this is, a lot of gay men are totally against crossdressers. I myself have run into this.
I don't have any advice for you other than to say imho you handled it well, and he instigated it so you have no worries.

Laura912
02-24-2014, 01:59 PM
An ounce of prevention, etc. Why not seek an appointment with HR and explore the gender policies of your company? That way, if he goes to HR, you are already on record as having issues with someone over your gender feelings.

CynthiaD
02-24-2014, 06:13 PM
What makes you think that he won't get written up? It seems to me that he was more in the wrong than you.

Allisa
02-24-2014, 09:11 PM
If anything comes about this situation you may want to remind them they could lose a lot of money if it were known in our community that they employ that attitude towards us. We all may not be seen but we do spend alot of money. Best wishes at your job and avoid that a**hole when ever possible.

Bye-Bye Lisa

Beverley Sims
02-24-2014, 11:22 PM
Gay people and cross-dressers are poles apart in their thinking.
There are homophobic gay people out there.
I suggest you get to HR first.
First is usually the best, the situation usually gets assessed from that point of view.

chelyann
02-24-2014, 11:29 PM
i agree with the others and get HR.

AllieSF
02-24-2014, 11:34 PM
I agree that maybe you should meet with HR first and explain that for health reasons, i.e. larger male breasts, that you wear a sports bra for comfort and support. Explain that the other person gave you a hard time, and that you reacted stronger than you had intended. Then you could say that all you want is peace and quiet from all other employees and a good working relationship with your co-workers. I would not bring up the transgender card until you plan, to do more about it in the future. Think it over and decide what to do based on what you can do and what is best for you over the long term. Good luck.

Lorileah
02-25-2014, 12:32 AM
march your orange smock into HR and tell them you ar TG. Be proactive then if he says anything you will already have your side on paper