A chance to CD so why am I nervous?

[ange_o]

This weekend I am attending an event away in another town with a club I am a member of. Last week they announced that Saturday nights function will be a dress-up event with a "drag" theme. Having looked at photos from the last time they did this everyone goes over the top in regards to getting dressed and made up.

No one knows that I crossdress, and my partner is not attending so in theory this is the perfect opportunity for me to dress in something of my own in semi-public. However instead of feeling empowered by the thought I am feeling very anxious. Given the over the top looks I've seen from the photos, my preference of wanting to dress naturally would now actually single me out in a room full of cross dressed men (and women). In my mind I have an outfit picked out (a cute flower patterned 50s style dress I bought recently matched with my mary-jane heels), but have now started looking online at womens costumes so that oddly enough I can wear that and in an odd twist under-dress..in a dress in order to not look out of place. Very confusing. So far favorite costume choice is a 50's rockabilly type outfit, or a long princess/medieval type long dress to make my stockings and shoes less obvious, and I could maybe get away with wearing my corset. I'm sure this shouldn't be so hard to decide.

Anxious Ange.

[alwayshave]

I'd never give up the chance to wear the 50's rockabilly type outfit. Good luck which ever outfit you decide on.

[Katey888]

Hi Ange,

Unfortunately this seems to be one of those things that plagues us.. 'Drag' = Hilarious and humiliating (to everyday folk - no offence to those amongst us who pursue this look.. :))

I used to have a recurring fantasy that I'd get to do this type of thing one day - and now you've got the chance, but as you rightly say, if you don't go OTT with your looks, you'll stand out (and make others look silly...) - potentially raising questions if you look too good...

I think you need to think really carefully about this - how concerned are you that others might really see the real you??

Good luck - take care..! :hugs:

Katey x

[Barbie Anne]

I think I like the sound of your club. I've always wanted to be able to rock a poodle skirt with an angora sweater and mary janes. Either that or a late 1800s southern belle dressed for the ball, full hoop skirt, petticoats and pantaloons......Have fun with it hon :) No need to be scared, sounds like a great club.

[kimdl93]

Dress the way you want, and don't worry about being singled out. All the attention will be focused on the over the top outfits.

[Ressie]

Do you have to participate? I'm not sure I would want to. This sounds like the kind of deal where everyone's a good sport, but it's a big laugh fest.

[Sarah Smith]

I had a similar dilemma, I had told my last partner that i was cd, then about 2 weeks later, and lots of supportive talk, there was a party which theme ended up being a cross dressing party, problem was I hadn't shown her me dressed up at that point so I ended up avoiding the party as I thought i would overdo it and look better made up than a man should. When i did end up dressing with my partner, she said i would have stuck out... everyone else was a parody of cd..

so my advice is don't go all out, there is an expected look that is as said more of a parody.. enjoy yourself but tread carefully!
If all else fails get someone who is going to make you up and then you have an excuse ! :)

[ange_o]

Thank you for all your replies. Yes they are a good bunch of people, and participation is optional, but most seemed to last time from the pics I've seen.

If all else fails get someone who is going to make you up and then you have an excuse ! :)
That is a brilliant idea! I was wondering how I could explain having put on makeup myself, or explain to my partner if she saw photos where I got the makeup from (as yes I am still not wanting others to know the truth about things). I leaning towards the medieval/wench/octoberfest gown type costume purely because it would allow me to wear more of my own underwear/slips etc under it, whereas the 50's ones seem to be a bit form fitting to hide too much under it. Might go to a costume shop near work and try to do some legitimate browsing tomorrow.

[trisha11]

I was super nervous my first time dressed in public as well. I am glad my SO was with me. I probably went more casual and classy then the evening required as well but it is what I felt comfortable in. What ever you decide to wear be comfortable and enjoy!!!!

[CarlaWestin]

Do you have to participate? I'm not sure I would want to. This sounds like the kind of deal where everyone's a good sport, but it's a big laugh fest.

This is also my take on it. It's more of a display of outrageous behaviour for the sake of humiliation humor. I believe our desire is to dress pretty in public and outrageous in private. Since we're conditioned to sniff out any possible opportunity to express our true selves, I can understand the lure of the event. On the other hand, if you present fabulously, and the room breaks into silence when you enter, it certainly will be a night to remember.

"How...did...you do that?? Your hair, makeup, nails.....it's all perfect!!"
"Oh, I do this all the time. By the way, ya'll look terrible!!"

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Ange, It sure sounds like you are between a rock and a hard place.
You just have to wonder how many of the guys are also Crossdressers too.
You would have to explain why you won first place .

[Leslie Langford]

Easy solution: Put on your finest outfit, get all dolled up, but plan to walk and move like the proverbial "man-in-a dress". You know, like Lurch from "The Munsters". You'll fit right in!

B.T.W., I'd love to be part of a club that would even consider a "drag" event, so count your blessings. Kind of a special twist the old Groucho Marx axiom that he would never join a club that would have him as a member. ;) .

[Adriana Moretti]

yea dress how ever you want....have fun...you are given the perfect opportunity here ...play it cool and worry less

[Jordan]

I would just go for it you will have a good time

[TessInJxn]

I agree. If it is an opportunity to actually go out dressed without the stress of being out dressed, go for it! This is an excellent chance to go be yourself without raising eyebrows! Too bad there aren't any DRAG parties around here! ;-)

[Beverley Sims]

Ange, Just go for it, have a wonderful time and don't get nervous.

[Teresa]

Hi Ange,
Look at like this you're not the only one going that's thinking like you ! Get a way out costume and have someone else help with the makeup, HELL go and enjoy yourself!

[dana digs sweaters]

If it for a car club then most definitely dress as a rockabilly gal.
Of course if you have size 12 feet, peeps will want to know where you found Mary Janes that fit so soon......
And you can bet that you are not the only CD there.

[Kristy 56]

Wear what you want and enjoy the evening. Personally, I think what you picked out sounds cute. Especially with those Mary Jane's. :)

[Julia Welch]

I know just how you feel ... I planned to go to Triangles this weekend and chickened out in the car park ... It is very close to where I live and while there were many TGs/CDs entering the building there were also a lot of guys in drab ... the last thing I needed was to be recognized in my own area ... If I had company I might've gone in ...

[Christen]

Gosh, I can relate to your dilemma, for sure. But chance to get out in a 50's style dress? Don't miss that one. Have some fun and I bet the worst that will happen is some envious comments.

Christen x

[Alice_2014_B]

I agree with one of the posts that it may not be a serious event.
But I say, "run with it", go with it.
And wear what you want, might even meet other serious CDers.

[Taylor Ray]

Well, maybe its in how you describe the situation. Maybe its not really a chance to "CD", but more of a chance to dress in "Drag". They are, after all, two distinct subcultures. So, to blend in...

dress in drag!

[Lorileah]

I dunno, would you want to be in a club that had a dress as your favorite (place something very demeaning here)? You know the idea of dressing in drag by these people isn't so that someone can look nice...it is so they can make fun of others. I think you have two choices in attending. Dress nice, do a good job, look good and be looked at as strange all night OR dress totally over the top and act over the top and in the long run not feel right

[ange_o]

Spent my lunchhour today browsing the local costume shop as have decided I would feel too uncomfortable dressing completely normally for the evening. Choosing a costume gives me a small mental difference in how I feel I will be presenting, and how I ferl is more important than just dressing because I can. However costume choice is still tending 50s. Found a cute outfit (http://www.costumecollection.com.au/rock-n-roll-1950s-fashion-costume.html)with a black top, neck scarf and long red poodle style skirt. But none in my size (2xl) as to be expected. So have found it online in bigger size with next day delivery so tommorrow I get a present! Lady in shop was really helpful after I explained what I was browsing for. If the online costume doesnt fit theres an octoberfest wench costume (like this (http://www.blossomaccessories.com.au/oktoberfest-beer-wench-adult-costume.html)or this (http://www.blossomaccessories.com.au/renaissance-wench-tavern-medieval-oktoberfest-halloween-adult-costume.html)) there that will as a fallback. Secretly I've always wanted to wear an outfit like that so either way I'm happy. Only now Im having to pull things out of the shed where I keep my stash to try and match underwear, stockings etc to the outfits. Thank you all for your advice on things.

[ange_o]

Well the weekend has come and gone and what an interesting experience it was. After the days activities on Saturday we were all informed we had about 50 minutes to get changed and meet in the accommodations restaurant for the function. My first thought was only 50 minutes? I felt like I needed hours to prepare. So back to my room where I laid everything out on the bed, and looking at it it seems I bought along 3 or 4 options for everything! After a shower and a close shave I put on a new pair of panties with a pink lace back and started my makeup. I decided to go fairly basic, a medium tinted bb cream to even out my skin tone, a black mascara on my top lashes only, a dark brown eyeshadow on the eyelid, and filled in my lips with a red pencil and an over the top bright red matte lipstick. Next I chose a dark back patterned pair of pantyhose, and a large softcup bra filled with C size balloons for the occasion (I did use some rice filled stockings for a test of a more realistic shape but found the balloons fitted the theme of the evening a little more and was a good call given how many times they were grabbed during the evening!). Next I put on this (http://www.blossomaccessories.com.au/renaissance-wench-tavern-medieval-oktoberfest-halloween-adult-costume.html)costume and a Dorothy styled pigtail wig with the costumes maroon headscarf over the top. Finally I pulled on my pair of black boots with the 1" platform. As I'm 6'2" already I was certainly going to stand out now! I was finally ready and only 5 minutes late! So I tucked my key, cellphone and lipstick into the bra and started to head out.

Opening the door to the room and slowly peeking outside to see if anyone was about was the first really nervous moment. I was actually relieved when I saw one of the other guys and his wife exiting the room a few doors down. So I stepped out and closed the door behind me - no turning back now. First thing I head was "oh my God" from his wife as she saw me. Given her husband was dressed in a tight black mini skirt with visible g string outline showing, the exclamation turned out to be good as she said I looked amazing. So a positive first of being seen by someone while outside made up and dressed! Photos were taken and so we started for the restaurant. Turns out it was around the side of the place and we had to walk 20m around the footpath to get there, and did I mention it was still daylight? Next first, being seen by passing cars while walking outside during the day! Finally opening the restaurant door and going inside. Wow, what a reaction I got. I'm not sure if it was because a lot of them had seen each other the last time they did this, but everyone seemed really amazed by me (which was exactly the reaction I was secretly hoping for). I definitely stood out amongst the red sequinned drag queen made up guys (made me glad I didn't put on my false lashes like many had), and the more subtle costumes there on the night. Many of the women commented on surprised they were about my makeup, even though I really didn't do much which maybe was the secret to it. I passed comments that I had looked up how to do makeup on YouTube during the week (whereas I have really been looking it up for years). At least they didn't ask how come I could walk so well in the high heeled boots! In the end the evening passed in the blink of an eye and turned out to be a really positive experience. Sure I could never really dress in front of any of them, but for that costumed night it was wonderful.

Only the one downside, when my SO saw some of the photos the next day comment was passed that it was odd and she never wanted to see me in a dress and makeup again if she could help it. I already suspected this but at least now it is confirmed, so for now my dressing will remain hidden but waiting and hoping there is a next one of these events.

Ange

[Steph70]

I really need to join a club like yours. But maybe one that had these 'events' more than once a year. I'm glad everything went well, and good choice on the outfit. I think I'd have had to find something that showed a little more leg :) I mean, if I had the chance...then all that shaving wouldn't be for nothing!

Steph

[ange_o]

Actually the costume had straps and buckles on the skirt to use pull and tie it up on each side to show more leg, which I may have as the evening (and drinks) wore on. I forgot to mention, over the top of the stockings I ended up pulling on patterned tights legs that looked like girly/pinup/rockabilly tattooed legs held up by a suspender belt so that if I did raise the skirt it would show something interesting peeking out the top of the boot. :)