Reality bites ... Hard!

[Christen]

So, today was going to be a wonderful day. I've got the day to myself from 8.30 this morning. The plan? Long shower, do my hair (I actually got heaps of volume in to it, thought it looked OK),very careful makeup - subtle, less is more, slip in to favourite outfits, take some great photo's and finally show the girls at CD.com just how lovely I am.
Unfortunately, the great girl I see in the mirror refuses to appear in photo's. All I can see is my guy side in makeup and a dress, even worse I look more and more like my late Dad, so this morning I think I saw my Dad in a dress, not good at all.
Utter, utter disappointment! As much as I'd love to post a full picture, I doubt it's going to happen. I reckon I'd have the transformation studio's shaking their heads. There I was, trying to decide whether I should burst in to tears or chuck a big wobbly (hissy fit). I want to look as sensational as so many of you do, knowing full well that obviously not everyone can do that.
So what to do? Well, I put on a pretty scarf, added a spritz of YSL Paris perfume, made a double shot flat white coffee and jumped on CD.com, where everyone is wonderful and supportive and friendly and witty. I feel better already!
You know what? It's a good thing getting some reality. I know I absolutely luurrrve getting all dressed up, pampering myself, I love the smell of makeup in the morning (was that in a film?), relaxing around the house feeling all the sensations this brings. God I love walking in heels. But home would seem to be the place for me and I'm good with that.
Just one other conundrum to solve for the day, white or red, or both?. Both? For goodness sake! Show some self control, girl!

Love you all!:love:
Christen x

[JenniferYager]

Every day is a different challenge...don't ever let it beat you down! Good to hear you kept your chin up and had a good attitude to boot!

[Rachel Morley]

Unfortunately, the great girl I see in the mirror refuses to appear in photo's. All I can see is my guy side in makeup and a dress
Yeah, I hear you .... that happens to me too. What's up with that? Somehow the image I see in the mirror always looks better than in pics. I put it down to my slight near sightedness ... it's the slight blurr in my vision that softens my wrinkles! LOL.

[dana digs sweaters]

Take advantage of the opportunity even if it does not completely cooperate with the mirror.

[kimdl93]

of course, we all face limitations. I pulled my avi and profile pictures a while back simply cause I was tired being reminded that I didn't like the way I looked. But, oddly, that has not stopped me from getting out and doing things in the community, coming out to select family and friends and generally feeling good about myself and who I am. Why? Simply because each of us is more than appearance, and people can pick that up too. Beside, I"m sure that many GGs have the same feeling from time to time. Life goes on, whether we live it the way we want, or hide from it. That is reality too.

[AllieSF]

All great supportive comments so far and I echo their sentiments. Now about those pictures. Take the pics and cut off that bothersome head. I love to look at great outfits with interesting material, color and presentation styles. Enjoy the day and as one wise singer used to say, "Smile, Don't worry!"

[Nadine Spirit]

To get pictures that I actually like, I take tons of them. To get a picture of just my face that I actually like it generally takes about a hundred shots for me to get one or two decent ones. Film is so unforgiving.

[Rachael Leigh]

I know how you feel, so many hear work very hard to get their look, no to mention have such great natural feminine features.
I know I will never achieve the look I dream of but I work with what I have and mostly I don't go out but I'm happy dressing at home putting on my makeup and taking pictures to share. We all have our stories and pitfalls

[Jenniferathome]

Christen, we're dudes! Hard not to look guy ihs when you are a guy. Just keep trying new techniques and watch your progress. It's fun anyway, right?

[GenieGirl]

Don't get to down Christen it happens to us all. I don't like most of my pics, only a handful do I think I look passable as a girl. I don't take a lot of pictures period because I've always hated taking pictures ever since I was a little boy I never smile. I try to a bit now. So don't be surprised if I hardly ever crack a smile in most of my pics I post. For one I hate my big baby cheeks there always made me feel fat even though I'm only 160lbs. Im working on losing weight for my figure one as a guy and a girl I prefer to be skinny and two so my cheecks aren't as big. Would like to get back down to about 140ish. So cheer up pucker up and take those pics girl. Do you have better luck with videos? In videos I look so much better than my pics I think.

[Kellie79]

Hang in there Christen. I am sure you look very pretty!

I got rid of so many pictures because they had too many 'dude' features in them. You should know, though, that we are usually pickier than even most GGs when it comes to taking care of
our bodies, makeup and clothing. So, it is highly likely that you're way more critical than most GGs would be!

xoxo
Kellie

[Adriana Moretti]

yea girl have fun with it...i feel the same way sometimes and i just say to myself " I will try again tomorrow"....no matter what though I try to enjoy the day even if im not happy with the look. It aint easy ....but it can be fun

[Christen]

Take the pics and cut off that bothersome head. Enjoy the day and as one wise singer used to say, "Smile, Don't worry!"

Thanks to you all, or is that y'all? My american is somewhat lacking, on the other hand my english is reasonable (God, please don't be offended by that comment) (( Not you God, the other girls.))
Yep, I'm going to get back to it, never say die!
And Jen, Adriana? It is fun, isn't it!!

Christen x

[jaye_cd]

If you've given it your best effort and you do not like what you see in the mirror, stop looking, and just go with how you feel! That is what really matters!

[TeresaCD]

It's the hardest thing. To see past the guy in photos, and for some reason, selfies are the worst.
I have moments before going out that I am horrified at how I look, but I'm stubborn enough to go out.
Oddly, those are the days I get the most compliments..
I journal my outings, and often photograph myself before going out, and some of those photos I cannot believe are the same person I see in the mirror (and not in a good way)

My first makeover late April last year made a huge difference for me.
Before then, only fantasised about going out, after then could actually imagine it.
Huge step late May, done in a safe way, and the rest is history.
Red or white, lucky girl!

[Suzanne F]

If it truly makes you happy then it will come through! Especially us girls will see that special glow.
It reminds me I am not here to judge but share. We shouldn't judge ourselves either. I do want to look as good as I can but that is not the goal for me. I want to be authentic and reflect how I feel, at least some of the time. Post the best picture and give us a big smile!
Suzanne

[Katey888]

Dear Christen - don't be too hard on yourself, we all are and can be our own worst enemies sometimes.. :hugs:

But it's good that you seem to have recovered the positive aspects because there are always are some... (either that or you've already drowned the negative aspects with some red or white 'local anaesthetic'... ;)) And I think we all know what you mean about cameras refusing to play ball - some days are better than others, sometimes it can be just in your head. :doh:

You've done the right thing - by now you should have enjoyed your day thoroughly, and while you might only end up with 'body shots' you do at least have a slim, classy and elegant lower 90% :) - so let's see some outfits!! :D

And have another red for me - I'm still on coffee #1... :bighug:

Katey x

[Jenny Elwood]

Christen it's all about having some fun after all so don't worry about it so much. Keep trying and I'm sure you'll get some pics you'll love sometime.

[suzy1]

We are all beautiful girls here Christen and you are gorgeous.
So pull yourself together and stop acting like a silly girl and be a grown up woman!:)

[Beverley Sims]

Christen,
I certainly don't look as good as I was at seventeen.
I have learned to live with it and adjust.
As long as I feel good inside I am alright.
When you look at the other beautiful people here compare yourself to someone your own age.
Otherwise you may feel like Grandma out with the grand kids.
Grandma don't look so hot anymore, but she has not lost that warm fuzzy feeling inside her.

You shouldn't either.
Remember familiarity breeds contempt. :)

[Caden Lane]

Sometimes a bad photo is a result of harsh or not enough lighting. The flash causes a lot of glare, washes out color that you painstakingly add to your face. They key is to reduce glare, soften shadow and you just might get a higher ratio of acceptable photos. I use a Gary Fong light sphere on my external flash and it does everything I just mentioned.

Don't forget to have the right settings for your lighting and check your white balance as well. Sometimes it just may be location. Try outdoors photos if they are all coming up bad. Natural light is far more forgiving.

You might also want to invest in portrait software to let you fine tune your facial features in photos. Or use a soft lens effect from Photoshop.

[Lynn Marie]

Pictures? Hell, I just get lucky now and then. Sometimes I even surprise myself! Good hair seems to help me more than anything else.

[audreyinalbany]

I don't know too many GG's who like the way they look in pictures. All I ever hear from my wife when she sees herself is "Too many chins; too many wrinkles; I've gotta lose some weight; God, my hair looks terrible in that picture."

[larry]

GenieGirl,
Videos? You have videos ? And you look better in them ?? I cannot comprehend you looking better.. hehehe Have a nice day.

[Jordan]

We are who we are don't get down on yourself we are our own worse critics I bet you make a beautiful girl

[Tina B.]

Girl, photos are intimidating to anyone is a dress, as much as we would like to, most men and women learn young, we aren't going to be models. So like every woman, you learn to work with what you got. I take 20 to thirty pictures every time I get out the camera, sometimes I even get one I like, but most of the times, I'm looking at chins, stomach, scares, big hands and shoulders, no hips, and on and on. A lot of the time I'll admit I'm just a guy in a dress, but now and then, the make up comes out great, the hair works, and the outfit hides a bunch of flaws. And with a little luck, on a day like that, I might get a nice picture. You just got to keep trying!

[Linda Leigh]

Christen, after reading your post and thinking about it....... it pretty much sums my outlook. In the mirror I look ok but in a picture HA not even close. So I am sitting here dressed in a skirt and top with my makeup all done my wig on and of course thigh high's & heels:) I can feel for you and I know I will never go out and that is ok with me :)

HUGS

Linda Leigh

[bridget thronton]

Since I started dressing I really can see beauty in all the people I see in my every day life - i bet you look much better than you give yourself credit for

[MsVal]

I've drawn the short straw for the contrarian view.

I like photographs. A photo can convey the image that you see in your mind, not the reality of the eye.

Granted, it takes some amount of time, planning, and dare I say skill, to get that "good enough" image, but consider this: In half an hour of posing and photographing I may get only a few photos that are good enough. That tells me that the entire balance of that half hour time I looked hopelessly bad.

Like any other hobby of skill: golf, woodworking, or fishing to name a few, those that have invested time and effort in developing the skill will have more consistent and usually better results.

(I'll show you my photos if you'll show me your golf trophies.)

Best wishes
MsVal

[Katey888]

Ms Val - photos please... :devil:

Katey x

[MonikaTirola]

I am surprised nobody mentioned the angles at which the pictures are taken. With the exception of lighting this can make a huge difference on how the pictures come out.

[MsVal]

Ms Val - photos please... :devil:

Katey x

Picture and video gallery

Best wishes
MsVal

[Kristy 56]

Hi Christen ! Yeah, I feel that way about myself sometimes. We're probably harder on ourselves than anyone. A GG that I used to know what always tell me I looked gorgeous, but I'd never believe her. Now, I just realize that I'm doing it for Kristy,and Kristy loves how Kristy looks. :)

[Valarie]

I know what you mean, that girl in the mirror does not always look like the girl in the picture. It is sad because we work so hard at having the right outfit and application of makeup, that it feels so damaging when the face looking at you on your camera phone has a double chin. Hang in there, and you are right without this forums support I would be lost.

[~Joanne~]

I think even the girls here that are truly passable, the ones that no one would ever question, question themselves when they look into the mirror. You will always see you. Period. The only time I feel that I don't see "me" is when the wig comes on. That's when I see Her ;)

I also take 100+ pictures, very easily I might add, every time I do a photo session which is almost every time I dress (for something to do while dressed). I will take away a handful or less that actually come out looking good or half way decent. Like Jennifer stated though....it is fun ;)

[julia marie]

Christen. You've been seeing the same guy in the mirror for however many years without makeup. Add makeup and a wig and it's only natural that you are still going to see the guy, at least some of the time. It's a mental image as much as anything and sometimes you're just going to look right through the makeup, and you won't feel right. (GGs go through the same good/bad day cycles too, and they can't go back to guy mode). I'll bet a lot of the people on this site have gone through this: You can be out and about all day shopping and feel like you look great and you're thrilled. The next time out you are getting out of the car and say, "Damn, everyone can see i'm a guy in skirt".
No logic to it. Don't let it get you down. Now, do a bit of lip gloss, it always makes me feel right.

[Christen]

Thanks again, everyone. I so appreciate your comments! All in all, I did have a good day!

Christen x

[Erica Anne]

You are not alone Christen.
Sometimes I like what I see in the mirror, most of the time I do not. All depends on how I feel at that moment. The past two years have been hard on me and I have been battling depression and boredom. A life changing event can be difficult to overcome. Let alone looking into the mirror and think to myself is this really normal, or am I a freak. I have dabbled with makeup for a while and I am getting better at it, no more clown face. It does seem to make me happy to see the improvements, long hair seems to help with my self image. Sure I do not look like I would want too, nor do I see in the mirror what I mental image of me should be. My mental image of myself looks nothing like my reflection in the mirror either in male or female form. Perhaps I need help in that department. I am not sure what my wife saw in me, or what my ex-wife saw in me, or even my ex-fiancé. When I see my own image, I am repulsed. Having such low esteem on my own appearance, it is difficult enough just to get out the door. Perhaps my childhood has more to do with how I feel about myself.

I keep my spirits high, I enjoy being me, it no longer matters to me what I see in the mirror since I am not expecting any miracles. Yes I can see my father in my reflection. I am beginning to get more of his hairline (no hair). At my age, I still have more hair than my dad when he was in his 20's and I am approaching 50. I try not to let me get myself down, but it is not easy. I am still alive is all that matters to me now.