What washroom to use? Either one will work!

[Launa]

I was out and about shopping last weekend with a few CD friends during the day. We all decided to go to a nice, very popular restaurant/pub which was a first for me in terms of

1. Going to a big, very mainstream place that had families on the restaurant side and the pub on the other side but the whole place is still joined together just somewhat separated with nice stone water features etc. the place can hold hundreds of people

2. It was at 12:30 during the day when we entered this big establishment, sat down and got some stares along the way all right. However the stares went away just as fast as they came.

3. I was nervous but my aquaintances/friends are proud of who they are and don't cower in shame. 2 of them including me all use our male voices

One of the girls in the group has always advocated for using the men's washroom at all times but my other TG friend uses the women's washroom. After lunch was over they both got up from the table and 1 girl went into the womens and 1 girl went into the mens. Then they came out sat down again and said yeah we'll never agree on that one.

It gave me a good laugh. Myself, I still like to use the men's washroom.

[Nikki 1984]

When I go out en femme I always use the womens washroom. Simply because I look like a lady and dressed up as a lady. I wouldn't use the mens restroom while dressed en femme. Simply because I don't look like a guy. If your passable as a lady just use the womens washroom.

Take it easy, Nikki

[Launa]

Nikki,

I wish I looked good enough to pass but I don't.

Many people tell me I look very good but I look in the mirror and see the Tranny looking back............. so I'm a good looking Tranny not a good looking GG or TS.

I'm thinking if I have a penis, I will stick with using the mens.......

[BillieAnneJean]

I try to find businesses with one occupant bathrooms. Most smaller restaurants and some smaller stores have restrooms with just one toilet and a lockable door. Also places with a handicapped or family restroom as those are typically one occupant and a lockable door.

Otherwise if you are going to use the women's bathroom and it is not a one occupant, then some things should be hard and fast:
1) Turn your cell phone off before you go in. That way any possible camera functions are disabled.
2) Never ever go in there with a camera, Ipad, anything that can capture an image.
3) Try to wait until the room is empty.
4) Get in and get out fast.
5) Do this and leave the business before anyone can get enough time looking at you to be sure that you are a man in women's clothes and might be a peeping Tom.
6) Make sure that you look good enough that there is some doubt about your gender or your audience is leaning more towards you being a woman.
7) Act like you belong.
8) Be as polite and discreet and considerate as if your wife, mother, girlfriend, or sister was in there.
9) Do NOT pause in front of any stall.
10) Look away, up, wherever but NOT through the gaps between the doors and the posts.
11) Fix your hair and makeup somewhere else.

[I Am Paula]

Please use the ladies. We are looking for acceptance as women, even if you are only one part time.

[Launa]

Please use the ladies. We are looking for acceptance as women, even if you are only one part time.

Its a tough call, I don't want to be in a mainstream washroom facility with women and small children using it at the same time even if I'm trying to be quick in and quick out.

There are no set rules in Alberta for which washroom a CD, TG, "TS before surgery" should be using so its left up in the air what can be construed as legally right or wrong. The conservative gov't would like to make it illegal for any of us to be using the womens, it hasn't happened but there was a motion a while back to do so . I don't want to go through any legal battles over being the first to get arrested, go to court or making a scene.

[kimdl93]

I will always use the women's room when en femme.

[carhill2mn]

I cannot imagine using the men's room when I am en femme. This seems to be just asking for trouble.

[Helen Grandeis]

I try to find businesses with one occupant bathrooms. Most smaller restaurants and some smaller stores have restrooms with just one toilet and a lockable door. Also places with a handicapped or family restroom as those are typically one occupant and a lockable door.

Otherwise if you are going to use the women's bathroom and it is not a one occupant, then some things should be hard and fast:
1) Turn your cell phone off before you go in. That way any possible camera functions are disabled.
2) Never ever go in there with a camera, Ipad, anything that can capture an image.
3) Try to wait until the room is empty.
4) Get in and get out fast.
5) Do this and leave the business before anyone can get enough time looking at you to be sure that you are a man in women's clothes and might be a peeping Tom.
6) Make sure that you look good enough that there is some doubt about your gender or your audience is leaning more towards you being a woman.
7) Act like you belong.
8) Be as polite and discreet and considerate as if your wife, mother, girlfriend, or sister was in there.
9) Do NOT pause in front of any stall.
10) Look away, up, wherever but NOT through the gaps between the doors and the posts.
11) Fix your hair and makeup somewhere else.

Excellent advice! I have never seen it presented better.

[reb.femme]

I cannot imagine using the men's room when I am en femme. This seems to be just asking for trouble.

Yep! pretty much in agreement with this one.

As has been said in previous threads on this subject, going in to the guys, lifting your skirt and doing your business is going to arouse some attention. :devil: However, I can appreciate as a valid worry, the possibility that you may receive unwanted attention/accusations whilst using the girls toilet too.

It can be a difficult call depending on the place your are visiting.

Rebecca

[RenneB]

I'm still wondering where the gender cops are. As I look around, there are a lot of GGs and GMs that don't present as their assigned gender. I mean they are not LGBT just they don't present the cues that one uses for saying that's a girl/guy. I wonder if they give it a second thought on which one to go into....

A second though would be what if you were born hermaphrodite? Which one would you go into? I'd choose the one that I am presenting as.

I like Billie's numerical chart and yea, they're pretty good rules to live by.

As for me, I go in the one that I'm presenting as. If I can find a family aka bi-gender room that's the best but those are pretty hard to come by.

Renne.....

[Marcelle]

I tend to stick with the gender I am presenting and follow the "get in, do your thing and get out" rule of thumb. Oh and ensure your feet are facing the right way. :)

I will use single occupant restrooms if they are available like in Starbucks or smaller restaurants. But if push comes to shove I will use the ladies to do my business.

Had a bizarre experience in one restaurant though. I went in to use the ladies and not a woman in sight so I did my thing, exited the stall and noticed a hair clip had come loose. So I thought, just a quick fix and I will be gone . . . No such luck, three gals came in but I am sure all they saw as another gal fixing her hair. Was getting ready to leave when I hear "Excuse me. Do you think you could hand me some toilet paper?" :eek:

I suppose I could have cut my losses and just left but that would be mean. So I mustered up my best femme voice said just a second and handed her some toilet paper from the adjacent stall. I then got the hell out of Dodge. :)

Hugs

Isha

[Stephanie Julianna]

It's very simple for me. I need a stall to get my pantyhose down, hike my slip and skirt and sit to do my business. There is usually not enough stalls in the mens room. Since I pass, I would create a bigger stir by going into the men's room. I also like to check and repair my makeup before I leave. That would raise a few eyebrows in the mens room.

[Eryn]

We over-think this. The guiding principal is to do the thing that attracts the least negative attention to oneself.

Someone in feminine clothing walking into or out of the Men's room draws a lot of attention. It instantly outs us and leaves no doubt to our nature.

Someone in feminine clothing walking into or out of the Ladies' room draws a lot less attention. Even if a person looks a bit mannish, there are many GGs who have the same handicap and polite people will give the benefit of the doubt.

Beyond that, if you get in, do your business, wash your hands, and get out nobody will have reason to object. Women do talk a lot more in their facilities, but there is no requirement to tarry and chat.

[Launa]

Isha, I remember that one story where you were standing "outside" a womens washroom and a lady started to make a scene with you.



Beyond that, if you get in, do your business, wash your hands, and get out nobody will have reason to object. Women do talk a lot more in their facilities, but there is no requirement to tarry and chat.

Eryn, out of all the times I have used the ladies, I have done exactly what you have said... I get in and get out fast like Wonder Woman unless its at a gay club and I'm with friends.


Lately I have been using the mens because as I've said in the past I don't blend, pass, hide etc...Everyone that can see me can see that there is a not bad looking, well dressed Tranny in the room and that's that there is no doubt in their minds so I've been using the mens.

I switched from using the ladies restroom last year when I was at a big Gala put on by the ISCWR in August. When the event started the MC asked us to respect the rights and wishes of the hotel and use the washrooms that are your true gender.

[chelyann]

i use the womens when enfem. there are lovely ladies and there are not so lovely, but if you look like a gg (model or steel worker ) go with the flow.

[Keri L]

I think number 11 conflicts withnumber 7. I, for one, will check my lipstick and reapply if necessary and check my hair, but I don't linger.

[Nikki 1984]

Nikki,

I wish I looked good enough to pass but I don't.

Many people tell me I look very good but I look in the mirror and see the Tranny looking back............. so I'm a good looking Tranny not a good looking GG or TS.

I'm thinking if I have a penis, I will stick with using the mens.......
Laura, you shouldn't have any problems with using the ladies room. You like ladylike in your avatar. Don't be doubting yourself. If it makes you feel any better I have broad shoulders and I wear a size 12 wide. I don't let that get to me though. Let me tell you when I have my dress on, 3'' pumps, wig, and make up I look a bit more ladylike. When I don't have any of that stuff on I look like a guy.

Take it easy, Nikki

[Eryn]

...When the event started the MC asked us to respect the rights and wishes of the hotel and use the washrooms that are your true gender.

My true gender is the gender I present, and I won't let a hotel define it.

I'm lucky that my state has codified my right to define myself, but it seems hypocritical for a hotel anywhere to accept money to host such an organization's event and then to blatantly announce that they are discriminating against us. What is really terrible is that the people paying for the event will let themselves be treated that way.

[Jilmac]

When I'm dressed and presenting as a woman, I will always use the ladies room.

[Launa]

My true gender is the gender I present, and I won't let a hotel define it.

I'm lucky that my state has codified my right to define myself, but it seems hypocritical for a hotel anywhere to accept money to host such an organization's event and then to blatantly announce that they are discriminating against us. What is really terrible is that the people paying for the event will let themselves be treated that way.

I do not know a lot about the Imperial Courts yet but if they felt they were being discriminated against then they would find another hotel and there would be big write ups in the media. There is sometimes 400 - 500 people at these functions, they do a lot of fundraising and charity work, I'm guessing they didn't want a bunch of Drag Queens over taking all the washrooms. There must be something else behind the scenes

[Beverley Sims]

You will eventually accept that the washroom you use is the one suitable for the gender you appear as.

Remember SO's and wives eventually accept us to varying degrees.

[Lorileah]

I will address a couple things. When you use a restroom, us it as it is meant to be used. Don't be creepy but rushing in and out isn't required either. You are there to do certain things, this includes fixing make up and often engaging in light chatter with women who are there. But use it correctly, go, close the door and sit down.

My last show I had a woman complain about a TG using the women's room, not that they were using it but that they stood up and used the toilet. Rude at best. (I know who it was too and she is a troublemaker).

Also as for the Imperial Court. They book large venues, the venues KNOW they are drag queens. An MC who even hints at the "girls" using the restroom of their birth sex is not going to be rehired (if the MC was the one making that statement on their own). I have never been to an event where it was an issue. If it is the venue that made that request, they won't be getting the 10K plus hotel rooms, drinks, food and other side items from the Court again I can promise you that. The ICRME here would be out of there so fast you would see nothing but a rainbow blur. (I figure the Coronation here brings the hotel about 15-30K over the weekend)

[Krisi]

So far I have been able to avoid this problem. I've used a porta pottie in the park a couple times. I think if you pass or at least leave people wondering, the ladies room would be the one to use if you can't find a unisex or family restroom.

If you're obviously a man in a dress, have a beard or bald head and no wig, the mens room would be a safer choice.

[Sarasometimes]

Ditto BillieAnne.. The check your makeup/hair is done on a per visit basis. A quick glance in the mirror if it is busy and a bit more time if not. But with that being said avoiding the need is my first choice. As for single seaters, most starbucks have them. Another good place to stop are hair salons. I have stopped in asked about thier services and then asked to use their restroom, haven't been turned down yet. And they are almost always singles and very clean too!

[Rachel_B]

This is indeed a tricky subject. I agree with most though, use the one you present as and make sure your feet do face the right way when you go. I use the women's when dressed but I will confess that I am still nervous when I go when there are other women already in there or when they come in. It took me awhile to get used to using the men's room also. I just need to start using the women's more often to get used to it. At the salon I go to, I politely asked what restroom to use and they said for me to use what one I feel comfortable in.

[julia marie]

If dressed en femme I use the ladies room. I don't turn off my cell (it's zipped up in the purse anyway). I don't linger but I do stop to check hair and makeup and wash my hands. I can't imagine doing that in the mens room. (For one thing, it's not safe). One precaution that I do take when using the ladies room is to wait if I see a bunch of teen girls going in first or if I see what looks like a parent or a husband waiting outside the door. I wait outside until they are gone. Teen girls and concerned parents/husbands all have claws, so I play it safe and don't take a chance on someone shouting that there is a man in there. I survived an emotional crisis in that regard yesterday. I really had to go when I went into Walmart. The ladies room was empty, but when I was in the stall, I heard a bunch of teen voices. I tried to wait until they were done and left. However, those girls do linger. When i went out there were three of them plus one's mother just chatting by the sinks. I made a beeline for the door and my car.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I'll be the lone voice of dissent and defend Laura and say if one is more comfortable using the men's room, go for it! It is up to the individual to decide. Personally, I'd rather use the men's room and avoid all the issues that come with it (especially when there are minors in the womens room, talk about a minefield!), but I am afraid to draw attention to myself.

[Launa]

I'll be the lone voice of dissent and defend Laura and say if one is more comfortable using the men's room, go for it! It is up to the individual to decide. Personally, I'd rather use the men's room and avoid all the issues that come with it (especially when there are minors in the womens room, talk about a minefield!), but I am afraid to draw attention to myself.

Thanks for the vote Vickie!

One thing is for sure if I'm using the mens room and a problem breaks out and if it turns physical, hopefully, probably not but if it does I would feel a lot better explaining myself to the police about why I had to fight some jerk trying to harass me in the mens room rather than the same thing happening when I come out of the womens.

I don't know what else to say, I have used the womens before and probably will again in the right circumstances but when I'm faced with being in a family establishment I will probably go use the mens.
Womens's washrooms in family establishments to me are like SACRED GROUNDS and I don't feel comfortable going in them, that's just me and my opinion.

Cheers Launa

[DAISY LYNN DOKES]

Have you considered using the family restroom in places like malls and Walmart?

[Eryn]

...would be out of there so fast you would see nothing but a rainbow blur....

Lori, thanks for the chuckle! :gayflag:

[Launa]

Also as for the Imperial Court. They book large venues, the venues KNOW they are drag queens. An MC who even hints at the "girls" using the restroom of their birth sex is not going to be rehired (if the MC was the one making that statement on their own). I have never been to an event where it was an issue. If it is the venue that made that request, they won't be getting the 10K plus hotel rooms, drinks, food and other side items from the Court again I can promise you that. The ICRME here would be out of there so fast you would see nothing but a rainbow blur. (I figure the Coronation here brings the hotel about 15-30K over the weekend)

I don't know what to say about this other than its what happened. The Court here still holds events at the same hotel, nobody seemed too concerned at the August event I was at other than a couple jokes were made about it by the performers on stage at first. Myself I'm just getting familiar with the Imp Court, it was my 2nd event I had been to and in our province so many people come from small rural farm towns miles and miles away so for sure there is a lot of revenue coming in. Both hotels the Westin and Ramada had so many people that complete floors were booked full of us attendees, I will have to ask next time I go and the subject arises, it just doesn't matter too much to me.

[Taylor Ray]

I'm with Vickie and Launa on this one, even though it seems the minority on this thread. I've heard it said on this site and elsewhere that the majority of CDs are heterosexual men.

Privacy for the GGs anyone?