Coming out

[missshae]

I'm thinking about finally coming out to my immediate family. I think my father may know, but we've never spoke about it. Any of you ladies been in this situation before, if so what should I do?

[SAMANN]

I have not come out to the Family but I have to my wife. It went fairly well. All I can recommend is to start with 1 person the one that you think will be the most understanding and supportive. Go slow be honest and be prepared for lots of questions and perhaps some tears. Once they have accepted the two of you can discuss how best to tell the rest of the family. It won't be easy and some of your family may not understand be strong and know that we are here to support you.

Samantha

[missshae]

Thanks Samantha

[DonnaT]

You should know why you want to come out. You should be sure you will not be/are not embarrassed by the coming out. Be proud of who you are. Own it. You should be prepared for/ready to handle rejection.

[Chari]

Coming out is a very big step - one that has NO RETURN! Think it through in your mind as to how you will begin communicating to whom ever you choose to tell your "secret". Consider asking your self how will I answer if they ask me this or that. Be honest with your answers, be strong, and remain calm. No two situations are alike. What worked for one may not go as well for you, but then it could go better than expected. If "coming out" is what you really want & need to do now, then so be it. We are here for you no matter what the outcome.

[Adriana Moretti]

hey girl.....we dont know much about you ...it IS your second post...but I would agree with everything the gals have said and add my 2 cents...if you are in the closet and single " Why tell anyone"...or tell a good friend if you need to. If you are married...maybe just tell her ( but ask around for advice in that dept...i am single so I cant help ya there)....Why does the whole world need to know? Maybe they do....maybe they dont I dunno your situation. As far as family...I just told my sister..

[Jorja]

I agree with everyone that coming out is a very big step. Once you let that genie out of the bottle, you can't put it back in. It is out there. Do they really need to know right now? Why do you want to come out? Think before you speak, everything that you know and hold dear to you is on the line and at risk of being lost. Are you prepared for the repercussions?

It is entirely up to you. If you have given it deep sincere thought and are prepared for the outcome, good or bad, have at it.

[MsVal]

Hello Missshae, I am pleased to meet you.

My suggestion is to take a deep breath, calm down, and spend some time looking through the great discussions on that very topic here on this forum. You will certainly find things that do not work well, and things that do work well. These are real life case studies written by the participants. Learn from them.

Ask questions. They will be answered by people that have been through this before.

Make a few more posts. When you reach ten, more areas of the forum will be open to you.

Best wishes
MsVal

[Janine cd]

I agree with you all. Coming out is a very scary proposition. Be certain of your goals before you begin. Best of luck!

[kimdl93]

You Know your family...we don't. And you know your motivations, we don't. So, if you are planning to live openly as a TG person, and want to involve and receive the support of your family, then of course you should consider coming out. Why do you think your father knows?

[Beverley Sims]

This is a situation only you can judge.

Many of us have been in similar situations.

I would read some of the excellent advice here on coming out to your spouse and such threads.

[Chickhe]

Personally, I've read a lot of disaster stories when people attach a label to themselves. Only you know what is best, but my advice is to just be yourself and do what you enjoy without making a declaration about it.

[Marcelle]

Without sounding the horn again, I can only echo what others have said. Think before you leap as this box cannot be closed once opened. Only you know your circumstances so ensure you are comfortable with the potential outcome.

Hugs and good luck

Isha

[reb.femme]

Is there a pressing need to come out? Is there a very real danger of being outed accidentally or some other reason to do this or are you doing it because you think you should?

Recently came out to my three sons. Wife has known for two years now. We both guessed that my eldest would take it the hardest and so it turned out. He came up about two weeks ago with his partner and daughter, chatted and even had a hug before he left but there is still tension in the air. Normality has not been achieved and it may never be reached again.

Give it serious consideration as to why you want to or need to do this. It's not for everyone and the old 'genie out of the bottle' analogy is well suited to this situation.

Rebecca

[BeckyRiven]

Do you plan on dressing around them? If yes then do so otherwise assess what the impact will be.

[Rebekah_uk]

Firstly welcome to the forum Missshae, don't be shy ten posts are not a lot and we all
like to talk.

Having recently come out to my wife, all I can say is that I echo the advice given by the ladies earlier in this thread. Take it slowly and do not rush as this could cause more resentment. It takes a minute to out yourself but be ready for the consequences long term. For me it lifted a huge weight from my shoulders after years of dealing with this by suppression and denying there was an issue to myself. My wife said she felt sad for me as she couldn't imagine living with this tearing me apart inside.