Chicken and Egg - which happened first?

[Lucy Long Legs]

Given that we all have a very strong feminine side, did this develop as a result of presenting as a female or because we are feminine already? There must be lots of answers for this.

It took me a long time (and the advent of the internet) to completely come to terms with my desire to dress as a woman. This site is so honest I have learnt a lot about the members and myself and self-examination has helped me explain my desire to myself.

I have come to realise that, as a man, I am far more feminine than most, both physically and mentally and this explains why I have wanted to dress since a young age. Since starting to dress with others a few years ago, I realise (and have been told) that I look and behave in a very feminine way when dressed and, far from feeling like an inadequate male, I now feel like a fulfilled female.

There are still issues to be resolved: I have not been out in public yet, only at a friend's house, and I have never achieved a satisfactory union with another person.

Regarding the chicken and egg, for me my natural femininity led me to dressing but, once there I have been made more female by presenting as one.

Does this ring true with anyone?

[trisha kobichenko]

I look at sexuality and gender identification as a place on a continuum, rather than as an either/or distinction. That said, I seem to be smack dab in the middle with male and female impulses. i train, teach, and have competitively competed in martial arts as a male, dress and identify in other areas as female. I think we have the choice and responsibility to ourselves to decide, accept, and express where we are on the 'gender scale' . I was born who I am. The discovery of who that is, and the expression of that identity is up to me. The acceptance of that identity is out of my control.

[Marcelle]

Hi Lucy,

What you are talking about is the every present "nurture / nature" debate of CDing. Do I dress because I was raised in an all female house and engaged in girl games with my sisters and female cousins at an early age - behavioral? Possibly. Was I hard wired at birth to think female? Possibly. To be honest, I really can't say and not too many working hypothesis on CDing agree. I dress because it makes me feel good but then again when I am "en boy" I also feel good. Not really sure what led me here, but I am not going back any time soon.

Hugs

Isha

[Teresa]

Hi Lucy,
Yes it does ring true you can hear bells all over the forum, As Isha comments are we hard wired ? I'm convinced we are born like it, we are male enough to do what a man must do ! with a female carry over from conception. A cders life is filled with satisfying both sides within the restraints of normal society, I'm afraid it is a life sentence but with the help and support of members here you can come to terms with Cding and enjoy it

[Cheryl T]

I began at a very young age so I don't know that the concept of femininity or masculinity were even present at the time.
I think that some innate curiosity propelled me to try on my first garments and that released a flow of feelings that were feminine in nature. From there it was just natural for me to pursue it farther and discover who I really am.

[Jenniferathome]

nope. it's pure genetics. I was born a cross dresser

[Beverley Sims]

I think I went through that sort of experience and felt like that when I was seventeen.

[Princess Grandpa]

I don't remember ever wanting to dress. I remember sneaking into moms drawer and trying on her slips but I was a horny teen and once the fantasy reached its inevitable conclusion I would out them away and I don't remember ever wanting to wear clothing. (I have a gift for denial). That being said, I have always been feminine I guess. I sat with legs crossed, I was overly sensitive, I certainly wasn't athletic or strong. Not really able to do much of what boys are suppose to do.

So yea I guess I was feminine. Now I'm feminine and I like to dress.

Hug
Rita

[Nikki A.]

In male mode I don't think I'm any more fem than the average guy outwardly. Although I've been told by some women who know me better that I'm easier to talk to than other guys.
The more I present though, I do feel that there is a shift in my thought processes and that I do want to be more overt and open about who I am.

[ShelbyDawn]

I heard it explained probably the best ever last night; "I had as much choice about dressing as I did about my shoe size."

[kimdl93]

I share the view that we begin with a predilection towards femininity

[Requal Jo]

I grew up with 3 sisters who took first place in the family. They dressed me as a girl and took me out that way in my very early years.

You now have me thinking. Did I take to masculine activities to hide my learnt behaviour? I still have a very masculine employ and masculine hobby.

However I now crave for Requal time and feel completely comfortable when "en femme". I am relaxed and free, even though my persona has not changed. This is a very private time as I am very well known within my community.

On the other side I am very comfortable to be my male self.

I believe I have a female side and the dressing is innate to the actions of my sisters in my very early years.

So, in my case, the chicken came first.

[CindyT]

Me Too!!! I have had the urge since I was very young!!