How can I know I am a transgender or not?

[robinx]

How can I know I am a transgender deep down there or just crossdressing to have fun in life?
I strongly feel I should be a transgender since I crossdress from 5 years old and always feel somethnig wrong and be depress so long time but just consider if it is not then it maybe wrong to plan to start HRT soon or later

[Chari]

No matter where you are on the gender scale, you must be comfortable and confident in who you are and how you present yourself. Please do not make any quick decisions about your gender feelings or start taking medication, but perhaps talk to a therapist specializing in issues such as yours. Best of luck.

[Donna Joanne]

I can't speak for anyone but myself, but my defining moment was when I realized no matter what I was wearing and what kind of genitalia I have, I am deep down inside a female. I don't hate my penis, it's just on the wrong body. I'd love to have bigger breasts, but if not I'm a small busted woman. I've always been sensitive, loving, caring, emotional, nurturing; all the things "real men" of my generation aren't supposed to be and women were. I have always been more comfortable hanging out "with the girls" than "watching the game". None of these things by themselves make you transgender, but combined they are a start.

I don't become female when I slip on a pair of panties or a wig, I become a female wearing a pair of panties or a wig. I feel just the opposite of the old axiom "Clothes make the man".... THE LADY MAKES THE CLOTHES. That to me is the difference in transgender and cross dressing.

[robinx]

I am very comfortable and feel it is so right when I dress up too but a straight man or gay man both can be "sensitive, loving, caring, emotional, nurturing", always believe how a man as a man or woman to be a woman should have much more than just the body or clothes, this be my life for more than 20 years so I seriously don't think it is a quick decision but kind of late already

[whowhatwhen]

Step one is finding a qualified therapist who has experience with transpeople, the rest as they say is entirely up to you.

[Angela Campbell]

Traqnsgender or transsexual? Big difference. One is a generic "umbrella" term while the other is pretty specific.

[Eryn]

Why worry about it? It's just a word that is rather ill-defined. Do what makes you feel good and you will find your happy place along the continuum.

[IamSara]

Robin
You need to seek out a qualified therapist. Like you I had been dressing for years since I was very young. I never felt comfortable doing the guys things no matter what that was. I always feel like me when I am with the women, when I am doing things that are not the macho macho that I grew up learning that I had to be.
Like some of the other girls have said don't run into anything. Talk to a therapist and only through learning who you really are will you know who you really are.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with crossedressing for fun but when you come to understand that you are transexual it is a whole different world. Transgender is a very wide subject encompassing very many types of gender issues. So seek help and go from there.

[Michelle789]

Traqnsgender or transsexual? Big difference. One is a generic "umbrella" term while the other is pretty specific.

This was one of my reasons for starting a thread asking if I am a cross-dresser or a transsexual. The terminology is very confusing. The media portrays transgender people as transgender = transsexual, and specifically transgender = MTF transsexual. The umbrella term transgender includes all gender variants, including FTMs and alternate gender identities, such as genderqueer or bigender.

I would seriously see a therapist before starting HRT or thinking of transition. A few questions for you:
- How do you feel about being male?
- How do you identify? Do you identify as male, female, or something else?

A major difference between a cross-dresser and a transsexual is a cross-dresser identifies strongly as male and wishes to express a feminine side. They may have a partial female identity, but the male identity is way stronger than the female. A transsexual identifies a female, and wishes to bring their body into congruence with the mind. You may identify as something else too, such as a genderqueer or bigender or dual gender. You may identify as both male and female strongly and need to express both of these regularly.

Also do some reading on this forum, and on other internet sites, about transsexualism. Do you identify with any of the feelings mentioned?

[KellyJameson]

This is a generalization but crossdressing is usually born out of heterosexual "sexuality" but in some instances blended with a "sensitive male"

It is the males sex drive toward the beauty of the female and what this beauty is "packaged in" such as nylons, lingerie, heels, ect but always with an eye toward the sexual.

Sexuality and gender are separate but they can impact each other where sex can shape
gender identity and gender identity can shape sexuality

I believe it is very important to know how your sexuality has influenced your gender identity.

I believe if sex is the driving force that has "built" gender identity than there will be problems.

Another problem is "physical beauty" and the "death instinct" where I wonder if some have a mid life crisis as they feel time is running out so they over identify with female beauty as the eternal mother that they run toward for protection.

Gender dysphoria is living in an existential crisis but it cannot be a crisis related to ones mortality or sexuality.

In my opinion it is a lifelong torment from being physically misgendered whose pain is dramatically increased by the violence done to the individual from the socially constructed gender binary that pushed them further away from their natural expression.

Society and their body prevent them from "living in life" so they only "live in their mind" as a painful alternative.

Transitioning is a breaking out of bondage whose "bondage" is experienced on a "spectrum of pain" created by this bondage.

If it is only the gender binary causing your pain than you may not need surgery but if you are living "against" your own body than you "may" need physical transformation that also is experienced on a spectrum for each person so you "only transition as much as you need to"

The pain comes from the prevention of the freedom "to be" as you "know yourself to be" that has always been with you.

Pain as "unlived identity", not "male illusion and fantasy built out of their sexuality" is the essence of the experience.

[PaulaQ]

This is a generalization but crossdressing is usually born out of heterosexual "sexuality" but in some instances blended with a "sensitive male"

It is the males sex drive toward the beauty of the female and what this beauty is "packaged in" such as nylons, lingerie, heels, ect but always with an eye toward the sexual.

Wrong - just so wrong. How do you explain the trans 5 year olds who insist on wearing girls clothes?

Clothing is often the first gender difference many of us experience - we get dressed differently. It is no surprise that CDing is a singularly distinctive symptom of GD in many instances.

[vikki2020]

Why worry about it? It's just a word that is rather ill-defined. Do what makes you feel good and you will find your happy place along the continuum.

yeah, why worry about which label you want to wear? Just be yourself, and you will answer your own question eventually.

[Inna]

One thing certain, You are Transgender!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender

However, whether simply Crossdressing, Gender Fluid or Transsexual remains to be uncovered through therapy and deeper understanding of Self.

[Rogina B]

Well put! Inna...

[thechic]

Hi there

as Inna stated

transgender is a umbrella" term which covers nearly all groups.
transsexual, genderfluid, non-binary gender,transvestite , genderless,genderqueer, agender, non-gendered, third gender, two-spirit,trans man, trans woman ,bigender ,crossdresser drag queen etc.

Some of use don't like to be called transgender, but liked to be classed as transsexual as we were not born in the correct gender, man or woman ,in other words cant live in the born gender.