Not My Cup of Tea

[brassieres]

So I have this ad out looking for other Crossdressers to hang out with. Its quite specific that I am not looking for a hook up or a relationship. Yet, it seems that other CDer's that respond are looking for just that.

One just wrote me and asked if I would like to be with him while I was dressed and he wasn't. :eek:

Now I suppose I could share my crossdressing with others getting pedicures and haircuts together, etc, but all that other stuff, is well, just no. Anyone else feel the same way?

[Kate Simmons]

Perhaps join a TG Org. Those folks mostly want to socialize with other TG folks, not hook up.:)

[Adriana Moretti]

where did you place the ad? craigslist...or a dating site? yea most people dont bother to actually " READ" them..LOL...I tried to put an ad out to find local cd gals..just friend stuff...i got the EXACT same thing.

[VAWyman]

Ever wonder if discrimination comes from other CDers as well as non CDs? What I mean is that we are somewhat timid to put ourselves outthere for just this reason.

[Tanya+]

I have the same hope (or is it just a day dream), of having a 'chess night' or 'football night' one or more other Xdressers, maybe one day going to a restaurant? But i haven't found the forum where i might contact locals. I am really just after someone to dress for. I'd be interested to know if anyone has found success in social dressing. It is a little tricky, because for me XDing is a turn on, and so inherently sexual, so boundaries and self-consciousness would be an issue.

[kimdl93]

I'd advise joining an organized group if you want to meet and socialize with other TG people. The personal ads invite people with other motives.

[Katey888]

I'm afraid it's a rather sordid reflection of one aspect of human nature... Kim has it right: Personal Ads are all about 'Personal Services' to a lot of folk...

Do you think there's another aspect to this..? I think there might be one which stretches the exploitation of women as sex objects - obviously we're all less than real women - in these folks eyes - and therefore that makes it even more acceptable to exploit us TG/TS folk for sexual purposes... All very demeaning really...

A support group has to be the way - and yes I feel the same way you do: would just love the right opportunity for a bit of socialising, conversation, trading tips and having fun AND doing that in a safe environment... Ah, one day... maybe... :)

Katey x

[brassieres]

Perhaps join a TG Org. Those folks mostly want to socialize with other TG folks, not hook up.:)

I have joined Tri-Ess New England, but have not gone to any meetings yet.




where did you place the ad? craigslist...or a dating site? yea most people dont bother to actually " READ" them..LOL...I tried to put an ad out to find local cd gals..just friend stuff...i got the EXACT same thing.

Yes, it has been on CL.

[docrobbysherry]

Sadly, a similar thing happened to me. I recently was chatting for awhile with a CD on another site. She had this whole scenario about having her "special" friend over for "good times" in her "specially" CD made up home. She is bi and knew I was straight. I wouldn't mind meeting up with her but she lives a 2 hours drive away! And, I wasn't going to do that for someone I knew nothing about. When I told her that, she was offended! I never heard from her again. I hated hurting her feelings. But, her fantasy relationship scared me!

Fortunately, a little over a year ago a nearby dresser started an online group for CD/TSs to get together and meet at various venues around SoCal. I haven't seen anyone hooking up. Just having good times out eating, drinking, dancing, and socializing!

Too bad there aren't folks like her all around to start similar social events for dressers everywhere!

[KellyTeddyBear]

i'm a member of a chat room on another site and i get lots of people who think I am looking for a hook up, I have a wonderful gg partner who understands, and supports me.

[Rachael Leigh]

I use to feel that way as well, it was kinda sexual but really I began to understand that was not what I wanted, hanging out, shopping and the like is really more enjoyable for me and a relationship is not in the picture. Its more fun to just be one of the girls so to speak

[Jess Marie]

I am a member of a site called fetlife.

I've found lots of local cd's and accepting women to talk to on that site. People are usually pretty respectful and if you put in your profile that you are not looking to hook up, people leave you alone. Just be sure that if you join and are going to message a woman, be clear that you are not looking to hook up. I've found that reassuring them that you are looking for friends and not hook ups is a great way to get a response.

Hope this helps.

[Beverley Sims]

Look for an organized group.
There are others that would like to meet for coffee on this board.
You have to establish yourself first.

[Adriana Moretti]

yea craigslist is ng....there are lots of girls from here in your area though...and they just had a big cd convention in jan in boston..i think this forum is one of the best places to meet people. There is another one in R.I in the fall too.

[Sometimes Steffi]

And there's Fantasia in P-Town in October?

[Rogina B]

Join Sisters of Boston or the Tiffany Club and you will find people to be friends with..

[Chickhe]

try this... walk in to a bar and try to find somene who doesn't drink. Why not change your approach and advertise what activity you want to do and then leave the CDing part as secondary thing?

[Brenda B]

Guess there will always be the predatory types out there. It's got to be difficult for them to believe that many of us are hetero and, for me at least, my crossdressing has nothing to do with men at all!