Family Reactions

[KellyTeddyBear]

I wonder how some of our families/friends would react if they didn't know about us being cd and found out. I know there is a stigma in society about being different. How do you think your friends/family may react if you were to tell them?

[Jess Marie]

I can tell you that when I came out to my cousin, she was very accepting and we went out for my first outing ever within a week. We hang out a lot as Jess and Lauren. We borrow outfits and purses. ha.

I'm pretty sure my mom knows, though. She hasn't said anything to me, but I have a sneaking suspicion that she knows because moms DO know everything.

[Beverley Sims]

It would be very mixed I can tell you.

[Jorja]

Well, back when I came out, 35 years ago, everyone quickly distanced themselves from me. They wouldn't even talk to me. It was like I had some contagious disease or something. It took several years to even get many of them to speak to me.

It wasn't fun but I had expected that reaction. So I found a group of like minded individuals and made them my family and friends.

[Adriana Moretti]

as i said in other posts..the only ones i came out too was my sister...and girl/friends....since i live back home rent free right now...i dont dare tell mom...especially with u.p.s showing up at the door occasionally. The real question I always gotta ask is " Do they REALLY need to know"

[Leslie Iz]

I can't really say for sure how my friends and family would react to my coming out but I can guess the odds would not be in my favor. I have portrayed myself to all of them as the typical alpha male for over forty years while at the same time living a double life in secrecy. Keeping secrets, hiding, and lying to the people you love is never healthy for anyone. With lingering victorian attitudes about sex and the taboo nature of crossdressing I most likely will never tell them and carry it with me to my grave.

[Kate Simmons]

I kind of agree with Adriana. Do they really need to know? :)

[Stephanie47]

My wife's knows. I'll keep it at that. I think most would just shake their collective heads, since I've known them for over forty years unless they hadn't been born yet. I think my daughter would be supportive or at least non judgmental. My son would freak out. My parents are deceased. Back in my teenage days I would have been expelled from the house. They did not like sexual minorities. Cross dressers back in the 1950's and 1960's would have been thrown in with gays- mental defectives and perverts.

I see no need to tell anyone since I have no desire to 'out' myself. If my wife were to predecease me, I'd get a dog. I'd tell the dog. I wouldn't want it to be confused.

[Katey888]

I think a lot of us wonder that on a regular basis... How would I do that? What would I say? How would it feel?

A bit like you wonder about going for a filling at the dentist... Will it hurt? Or what a sudden acute attack of colic (kidney stones) would be like... Will it hurt more than the filling? Will I be in crippling agony screaming for pain relief..? Bloody right you will - I've had 'em - for a few hours, very nasty...

Except the reactions with revelations here could take longer to come out and last longer too.

Thinking about this is pointless - you never really know... Oh, except for all the prescient folk who have crystal balls... They'll be here shortly... :)

Katey x

[CamillaCD]

My family is very accepting. When I came out to them the comment from my eldest niece was "About time something happened in this family".

[Nadine Spirit]

Apparently I let my sister know before I chose to tell her. I was working on something for her and my shirt rode up and my pants went down in the back and my bright pink thong glared like a neon sign. I never knew. A few years later I decided it was important to me to open up to her and tell her that I CD. She said "yeah once I saw your pink thong, I figured something was going on." I directed her to my blog. Her response "you have pretty nice legs." Other than that she is pretty much DADT. She is okay with it, I suppose, but the topic tends to make her a tad uncomfortable so I don't put it in her face.

[Tammy Lynn Tx]

My Ex told everyone in her family so they wouldn't like me any longer, I told all my wives about Tammy before we got very far into a relationship. My 2nd wifes mom came to me and asked straight out if I was a crossdresser, I told her yes and all she asked was why in heck would you want to wear a bra.
My family wasn't nearly accepting. My older brother said he didn't want to know if I was a crossdresser but if he thought I was gay he would shoot me on the spot.
Family, sometimes ya got to love them.

[reb.femme]

I had my big reveal over Christmas. It was Mrs W who was most anxious to tell our three sons over Xmas and the New Year. Their ages are late 20's to late 30's. Again, not kids anymore. Picture the scene, "here pull a cracker with me, oh and your dad wears dresses". OK, so it wasn't quite so dramatic.

The youngest two came over for Xmas lunch and Mrs W and I had discussed telling straight after the meal. I said I didn't want to right now, so whilst clearing the plates in the kitchen, I can hear the wife saying, "How do you feel about cross dressing"? Alarm! Alarm! Oh well, I went back to the door and said, "She's talking about me". Had cuddles from both my boys. The middle son is gay and some of the places he has visited and described for me, made me confident he would be OK with this. Both he and the youngest openly post pictures dressed in all manner of clothing (male and female) so this was never a major reveal in some ways. They have both seen my website now, so no secrets anymore. Youngest has told his partner (and countless others probably ;)) but I really don't care and it makes me grin thinking about it.

However, the eldest was told on the 6th of Jan 2014. My wife told him, as we knew he wouldn't be receptive to the news. He found it very hard to accept when my middle son came out many years back. He has discussed with my wife about going for a beer with me (or many as we use to do) but that’s as far as it has gone until a couple of weeks back. He and his partner came up over a weekend, watched football and had a few beers. Had a hug before he left but nothing since. Still out in the cold as they say. He’s known me as macho dad over the years, so I’m sure it was a shock for him but I had hoped he would have mellowed over time, but it wasn’t to be. Spent many a happy hour, going to football, getting well past the point of merry together but all of that seems to have gone to shit! Sorry, but that’s the only word that fits right now.

And that’s me at the moment. I’m out to my boys, but only 66% happy about it, if that much actually.

Rebecca

n.b. this is a cut and paste plus some editing from a posting elsewhere

[kimdl93]

I've experienced being outed...widely...by my first wife....sons, brothers, friends, coworkers...and it wasn't an issue. People either don't care or don't care to know.


It's early in the second period, reb. If he's like my eldest, it may take a while but he will come around.

[ShelbyDawn]

My ex called everyone in my family. One niece pretty much disowned me, my mother caller her a liar and as for the rest, they either didn't believe her or don't care.

[Kristy 56]

I think that the more secure ones would accept it,the non secure wouldn't. However, I don't plan on opening that Pandora's Box anytime soon. :)

[DCUnitedfan1988]

Not being a cd myself I can only say what might have been different had my dad not came out as a CD. She lost support from most of her side of the family which has been very hard still in trying to plan family gatherings. I also lost many friends because of parents saying they were not allowed to play with me. In the end though, had she not come out she was on the path of depression that would possibly have led to suicide. I will say I much prefer who she has become and the great thing is being able to make new friends who are supportive!

[Tiffanyselkoe]

Everyone in my family knows as well as my in laws. They have all been supportive as long as my wife and I are happy.

[Rachel Morley]

I agree with the others that said "do they really need to know?" In my case certainly not. My mom is a warm and caring person and I tend to think she might be ok with it but my dad, err .. I'm not so sure. To be honest, I don't think telling them would make my life or theirs any better so what's the point? I have no burning desire to tell them. It's just something I like to do that is really none of their business. They also happen to live a long way away from me so it doesn't affect them anyway.

[devida]

Armistad Maupin distinguishes between your biological and your logical family. Just because someone shares a few more of my genes than somebody else does not make them part of my logical family. I choose to call those who love me and those I love, those who value me and those I value part of my family. These people will love and value me no matter what and no matter how my gender identity might change. What requirement is there for me to associate with those who do not accept me as I am? What agency forces me to be with people who do not want to be with me?