Coming out night

[Suzanne F]

Last night I went out as Suzanne in Seattle. I went with 2 male friends that I grew up with in Ky. I was very close to them when we were young. I came out to them about this 2 months ago on a previous business trip to Seattle. One of the friends is a more sensitive thoughtful person. The other is a very alpha aggressive male. This was the first time they had seen me as Suzanne.

I picked up my one friend at the university where he works. He got in the car and said you look nice. He didn't miss a beat and we just were with each other in a wonderful new way. We joked a few times about my appearance and it was no big deal. Then we met my other friend for dinner.

He couldn't look me in the face for most of dinner. He ignored me many times in the conversation. It was just difficult for him. Finally I said to him that he hadn't even looked at me. He said, "Well you just are not very attractive." Ouch! I realized there wasn't going to be a story book ending for this situation. After dinner he left in his car.
My other friend asked me if I was ok. He knew my feelings had been hurt. I said I was ok. We went for coffee after walking around for several minutes. I perked up and realized I was ok. Here I was with my wonderful friend out as Suzanne. He treated me so nicely and I relaxed and was myself. A girl out having coffee with her male friend. It was sweet!
When I dropped off my friend he asked me to come in. His wife and son had not seen me like that before. My friend has already told them though. When I came in his wife exclaimed how pretty I had become. His teenage son came out and greeted me and spoke with me about his college choices. He was very polite. It all made me feel very accepted.
So I had another adventure. I was authentic even though there were some consequences. I told my friend on the way to coffee that nothing could take away the happiness I feel not hiding anymore. I know this is difficult for some I the people in my life. I hope they find peace with it. I know that I have!
Suzanne

[lingerieLiz]

Your other friend may be finding it difficult to accept that he doesn't see you in the same way. Don't worry about your looks confidence and practice will enhance your appearance

[kimdl93]

50:50. Actually that's pretty good. To the one who didn't get it, thus really isn't about being pretty...it's about being true to yourself. But he may never understand that.

[Jennifer S]

It sounds to me like the positives outweighed the negatives. The one friend isn't ready to deal with it but he certainly could have been worse. The experience you had with the other friend and his family sounds like pretty much the ideal coming out situation and I'm happy for you. We all start with baby steps but eventually we're up and running.

Jenn

[Katey888]

Dear Suzanne...

I applaud you for doing this and congratulate you on the result that was presumably your more sensitive friend... As for the other - alpha male tw4t or what!?! There is no excuse for outright, blatant rudeness - and unfair too! I'm sure there's a host of responses that would have been appropriate and cutting but you're probably better off with him just departing. And there's nothing wrong with how you look, Suzanne - this isn't about us being cover models which anyone with half a jot of sense would realise... :Angry3:

But I'm pleased you had a more positive experience with your other friend and his family - wouldn't the world be a better place with that type of live-and-let-live approach? It costs nothing yet there are more of the idiotic, unthinking, buffoon type around than frankly, I care to think about.... <grrr>

Thanks for sharing that Suzanne - reminds us all of the ups and downs in our lives... :)

Katey x

[Adriana Moretti]

yea there is NO excuse for anyone to act like that to anybody....but I am pretty sure he diddnt really know how to handle the situation and sounds like he was pretty uncomfortable to begin with. Kudos to you for sharing with male friends ..a move like that takes courage...btw love the leggings/sweater look in your avatar.

[Annaliese]

A good and bad ending, you were your self, the same person you have always been just dress different. The one friend was threaten and lash out at you, the other just saw his some old friend. good luck and hugs.

[Tina B.]

Well it came out 50/50, and that ain't half bad!

[Beverley Sims]

Hopefully you will strike up a more meaningful relationship with your friend from the university.

[Kate Simmons]

The way I see it it was his loss Suzanne. You are still you regardless of what you look like.:)

[Debra Russell]

Kudos suzanne - I'am happy for you BTW you look great.........................Debra

[Jess Marie]

I'm sorry to hear that your one friend wasn't accepting, but it was meant to be. It was also meant to be that your other friend would be so accepting :)

This story is just another reason I refuse to tell a guy about my true self. I'm sure my best friend Joe would understand and be cool with it, but I'm not ready yet.

[UNDERDRESSER]

So, the assumption here is it was the "Alpha male" that had a problem? Is that right?

[MsVal]

If the old saying "you can't please everyone" is true, it must also be true that you're going to DIS-please the remainder. It's okay. It's the normal order of things.
You were being true to yourself, doing what you needed/wanted to do. He rejected that. I wouldn't read too much into his rejection.

Best wishes
MsVal

[reb.femme]

Really pleased that you had a great time Suzanne, minus one that is.

It really does surprise me that our friends and relatives can be so unaccepting to the point of dropping us, but that is life unfortunately. I can understand they might not be prepared to be out with us en femme but to dismiss us from their lives entirely is.....poor quite honestly.

But a big shout out to your FRIEND and his family though!

Rebecca

[Suzanne F]

Yes it was the alpha male. We texted later and he said we were ok. I told him I was sorry he was upset and I would always value his friendship!

[Jenniferathome]

I have to take your friend's side on this argument. His inability to handle it right then and there is not a promise of being that way forever. Telling ANYONE that you a re transgendered and meeting them as your alter-self can be disarming. Not everyone can handle that kind of thing presented in such a fashion. Perhaps he needs time or NEEDED a softer entry into this. You can certainly chat him up and figure it out. He may never be comfortable but he showed up! Give him credit for that.

I think too many here simply argue that everyone should be accepting without being in the shoes of those we demand to accept! We know what it is to be a cross dresser or a transgendered person but few of the "normals" have any experience with it. Frankly I am amazed at how easily so many people do handle it.

[CynthiaD]

Look at it this way. In your life there will be innumerable people who take a disliking to you for any number of reasons. That's life, it's no big deal. So now they have one more reason. No big deal.

[Kristina_nolagirl]

That is not a nice thing to say to anyone! If he was uncomfortable, he could have just said that he was or not showed up in the first place. I think he might be cockeyed though. I've seen you in person and I think you do make an attractive woman. ;)

Good to hear that your other friend was good company that night. I'm envious of your bravery!

[Kristyn Hill]

So happy for you and your real and secure friend. You have given alot of gurls hope, here. Kudos to you and your bravery.