When did you know it was time?

[KaylaK]

I'm struggling with how and when to come out to my family. My wife knows and is trying to be supportive. Also out to 2 friends and a cousin who has been like a sister to me my whole life. I'm still trying to figure out when to transition and if it's really right for me. I devote a lot of time and energy trying to figure it out. I'd like to hear about other's experiences with this. When did you know you were going to transition?

[arbon]

I waited till it became a horrible crisis and I was pretty much falling apart.

[thechic]

basically I knew it was time when I just could not stand being a man any longer, and then got professional help

[Angela Campbell]

I don't really know. Everything was pushing so hard and so fast. At some point I just knew it was going to happen.

[PaulaQ]

When I realized that I hated my life so much that I no longer wanted to live it as a man - that death was preferable. In particular, once I realized that those feelings were progressing, and progressing very, very quickly in intensity. I began to fear that even with transition, I might not beat my GD and simply end my life in misery. I was in a very dark place last year. I don't recommend it.

[gonegirl]

It was more a feeling of knowing inside me that this was happening one way or another, whether I wanted it or not. Does that make sense? Anyway, to answer the OPs question - When I was simply out of options.

[Rachel Smith]

When I could no longer bear the GD and it was do it or die. I don't remember who here said this but it went something like this, I transitioned not because I wanted to but because I HAD to.

[Shapeshiffter]

My answer is the same as the other women. I was killing myself. It was transition or just stop living.

[anaissa]

I have my first visit with a therapist who specializes in gender issues on Tuesday. Despite my age (54), I need to take these initial steps.

Living as man has traumatized me my entire life. I have done everything possible under the sun to repress and distort the real me, but I have never received any benefit from my efforts. Instead, I have spent a life feeling sad, worthless, frustrated, and yes, hopeless. I have FINALLY came to the realization that I am dying a slow, painful kind of death.

Whatever course my journey takes, I must at least celebrate my uniqueness and value.

I wish you well and will hold you in my thoughts.

[Kathryn Martin]

I came out to my family after I made the decision to move forward with my life, after therapy and hormones after all planning for transition was complete, after that date for transition was set and they were the first ones to know. If you have any doubts about transition, any doubts about when and how it would be cruel to tell your family and then later decide to not transition. This is the one thing your family cannot help you with. In my case only two people knew before I came out to my family.

[LeaP]

I am pursuing the same approach as Kathryn and for the same reasons. I don't know that I would term it cruel, exactly, beyond my children, but it would make me come off as completely dysfunctional.

[Susanna66]

For me is was just the realization of who I really was. In the past there was so much hiding it drove me crazy. Once I accepted myself as Transgender, everything took off fast. But looking back it was something I had been preparing for my entire life. The turning point was the night I asked my wife about HRT and she said it would be better living as one person instead of two.

[LeaP]

I waited till it became a horrible crisis and I was pretty much falling apart.

Oh, but I should add this describes me as well ...

[Donna Joanne]

I waited till it became a horrible crisis and I was pretty much falling apart.


basically I knew it was time when I just could not stand being a man any longer, and then got professional help

These two ladies pretty much covered it for me as well...

[Angela Campbell]

I heard someone giving a speech which summed it up very well for me. She said...

"when I was the man, all I could think about was the girl.....when I was the girl, I Never thought about the man."

[PretzelGirl]

I am coming to believe that I am in line with Angela's thinking. I don't have this happening as an overwhelming negative event. Instead it has been positive all the way. I have been transitioning for a long time in some ways. I am just now making the realization to say it openly. And for me, it isn't about the negative past but the positive future. It is about being me instead of not being him.