not a true crossdresser!

[femaletrouble]

let me begin by sayin ive cross dressed from a early age but when i say cross dress i mean i only realy do it to satisfy me sexualy (i dont have a partner) once ive completed my manly urges i undress back into my normal male clothes untill i want to have the same sexual thrill, i dont realy think of cross dressing much at the present time as i have a lot of worry over my elderly parents. so would i be realy classed as a cross dresser or more of a person who gets a buzz out of it? im blushin as i right this part, a small collection of items to heighten my pleasure once im dressed... so i sometimes wonder if i realy am a proper crossdresser?????

[Lexi_83]

Look up "fetish dressers" and see if that suits you.

[kimdl93]

Quite proper, really. Of course, you must feel the requisite measure of guilt upon satisfaction of your needs...or it doesn't count and you must do the whole thing over again until you get it right.

You Brits!

[DonnaT]

There are CDs who dress because of trans issues, minute or large, and there are CDs who dress as a fetish, but both are CDs.

[Marcelle]

Hi there,

When it comes to CDing I think you will find we are all over the map. I would say that you fit fine within the CD umbrella.

Hugs

Isha

[Katey888]

I think you'll find you're stuck with us here in the broad borders of CD land... :)

We don't want to get too much into labels as Isha will get mad, and you don't want to make Isha mad... :eek:

And yes, Fetish CD is a 'proper' category - so we can be all proper about it, but not necessarily guilty - I think Kim's confusing us Brits there with some religious sects... :)

So does that make you feel more comfortable with us...? :D

Katey x

[femaletrouble]

thanks yes ive was just wonderin if i was some kind of sub crossdresser ive bin through the guilt stages and two or three purges so i guess i am a kinky kind of cd er lol

[kimdl93]

Right oh, Katey...I really meant the Presbyterians!

[Caden Lane]

I don't wanna be proper about it...I prefer improper! Improper girls have more fun!

[Mafalda]

Do we really need to be classed as something? Probably yes, it's a common way of thinking, but... sometimes I feel somehow offensive to think that I can be classed the same as any other person! Be free! Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

[Allisa]

I can't speak for anyone else but when I first started to CD I too became aroused and would act on that feeling then quickly undress, but after a period of time it no longer was a sexual thing and I progressed to where I am today so there is no telling what might happen.


Bye-Bye Lisa

[mechamoose]

I'm of the opinion that you like what you like, and you shouldn't have to apologize for it.

The biggest sexual organ in the human body is the brain. It isn't unusual for people pretend during intimate times. Everyone does to some degree or another. Especially being single, you have to rely on yourself to scratch your particular itch. There is nothing to feel guilty about.

Are you 'different'? Yes. But so are all of us.

/hugs

- MM

[Helen Grandeis]

Even those people who claim not to be fetish dressers have a certain sexual component to their enjoyment even if they don't recognize it as such. This hypothesis can only be proven by one of those sophisticated brain activity scans. Even at 59 there is no diminishment of any of the flavors of enjoyment. However, most recently I have come to appreciate the sublime peace and subtle arousal of spending a 14 hour day immersed in Helen.

[Steph_CD_62]

In my eyes you are just one type of a crossdresser

In my opinion you have a transvestic fetishism

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transvestic_fetishism

[Jaylyn]

I think a lot of us started that way too very varied degrees. I feel almost caught in the middle I still get aroused by it by at the same time I enjoy the feel of women's clothing, undergarments, hose and heels and makeup. The older I get the more I'm enjoying the feel of the clothes.

[GretchenJ]

Hi - yes I think you can be considered for admission to the club :) nothing at all to be ashamed or embarrassed off. There are many flavors in this ice cream store we call life.

Just a nugget to chew on. That has been the extent of my cross dressing as you described, until very very recently , when all of a sudden I wanted to have more of an experience than just dressing at home. You may not reach this level, but you never know

And yes, don't annoy Isha..

If you want to discuss, feel free to send a pm

Welcome to the club
Gretchen

[Wildaboutheels]

True Crossdresser? Even some of the Forum Dinos who have been here forever don't agree on just what makes one a CDer much less a "true" one.

But the FACTS are undeniable and are clearly illustrated in hundreds of threads and thousands of pics. Very few here did not at least "pass through" that clothes "as a tool" phase. A tool to get to the promised land - Os. No different than men's magazines or porn as a tool. It's rare to see "it's never been sexual for me". And three times when I saw that posted, it did not jibe with their earlier posts. Three times I asked privately and respectfully. The results were predictable. 3/3. They preferred to put and keep their "past" behind them. In fact, that is an extremely common theme. As most here have gotten older... the Os have become less frequent or nonexistent, the dresses have become longer... and the heels shorter and the desire to pass and money/time/effort to present as a female has become far more important.

That's a natural reaction of our brains to protect us from ourselves. NGCs Brain Games clearly illustrates in every episode this very thing. Just what kind of gymnastics our brains are capable of.

And the drive to have Os? What could possibly be more addictive than that? Male Os are what keep humans on the planet. They better be addictive.

No Human, man or woman, can control what "turns them on". Evolution is simply not going to allow it. Accept that and your CDing life will become a lot easier .

Guilt and/or shame do not HAVE to be part of the equation.

[Zylia]

I like how 'true cross-dresser' sounds like it's something to aspire to :D I'd say wearing women's clothes as a guy for whatever (non-professional) reason puts you well into cross-dressing territory. Also, every post of Wildaboutheels about "Os" is always 100% correct, so take heed.

[PaulaQ]

I don't believe sexuality has anything to do with driving your CDing. I think it's a red herring.

Why do I say this? Because your behavior was very similar to mine, right up until 5 months before I started transition.

[DaniCD1986]

I feel the same way that femaletrouble. I don't know much about women's clothes, I don't even have a wig, I've never went to any place crossdressed and I've never had sex dressed as a girl either (but I wish though, just never had the chance :heehee:). The funny thing is that when I'm walking down the streets, I don't even look at boys, I don't like them unless they look a little bit femme or really muscular :daydreaming:. So what the hell am I? I don't have a clue. But then I think. do I need to be labeled? Well, I guess that labels are useful to identify objects, not persons. Anyway, it's impossible not to ask yourself this kind of questions

[Teresa]

What your going through happened much earlier in my Cding, that part hasn't gone away but the old brain starts to play tricks, the clothes start to feel good so you want to dress longer, then you want more stuff for different looks and so it goes on, you may as well go with it, you're a lifelong member.

[Adriana Moretti]

Whats the matter??? You dont like us???? C'mon.....C'mon.....admit it to yourself...your a crossdresser....LOL. just playing with ya. and food for thought.... what is the difference between a crossdresser and a man who puts on womens clothes to get a "buzz" out of it as you say? ....

[Babbs]

There can be a sexual thrill or a personal fulfillment I believe. The idea of cd'ing may have started for me as a kind of fetish but now its much more than that...

[Krististeph]

Right oh, Katey...I really meant the Presbyterians!

Yes, Presbyter (Prester) John, patron saint of crossdressers. Historical account from the book of Sinbad. I love it!

Who doesn't have a few fetishes? I know I've got enough to spare... Even non-CDs have fetishes about women's clothing. The CD aspect simply (in my mind) means you are not opposed to experiencing what the females you are fantasizing about are feeling, from the inside out.

Remember- sex is in the mind- everything else is just nerve endings and endorphin receptors. (doesn't that sound romantic?)

Again with the labels, one has to be careful. One is not defined by being a crossdresser, crossdressing is simply one aspect of the larger definition of the individual. Technically speaking, this site should be "Crossdressing.com" rather than "Crossdressers.com", since our own title pidgeonholes us. I'm not saying this to push a political correctness agenda, but that this is something we should be continuously aware of and how it can mislead.

[DaniCD1986]

The CD aspect simply (in my mind) means you are not opposed to experiencing what the females you are fantasizing about are feeling, from the inside out.

Thank you, thank you and thank you :o
This is exactly the kinds of words that I was expecting to read in this forum, you just made me realize how do I feel about all this. I couldn't describe better the feeling of crossdressing. Now I know a little bit more about myself.

[Beverley Sims]

You probably are.

[Jules Spirit]

Maybe you should not worry about what your "label" is, maybe you should just enjoy being who you are. What you are doing seems to make you happy and does not hurt anyone, so relax and enjoy yourself. :)

[docrobbysherry]

Here's the deal, FT. Whether or not they will admit it? It's a very rare CD or TS that has NEVER received an erotic charge from their ladies clothes or dressed image!

And, most of us CDs started out just as u r now. Don't be surprised if the desire to dress increases over the years. Not saying it will. Just don't be surprised if it DOES!

I'm 70. And, I freely admit to still being turned on by my mirror image most of the times I dress. Only, I'm no longer in such a hurry to take everything off afterwards!

[Patty-Fay]

It's just semantics. Perhaps you fit some definitions of "crossdresser" and not others. Regardless of the semantics, you have something in common with the rest of us: on occasion, you wear the garments of the opposite sex (irrespective of the motivation). I happen to have the same motivation YOU have; perhaps I take it further - getting fully dressed, and venturing out into the public (to a limited extent). It is all quite stimulating. I have no desire to transition.

[Lainie]

Anyone can become a true, proper cross dresser. It just takes practice.

[Zylia]

So what are you supposed to practice? Putting on clothes?

Just for the record, not everyone has the same personal 'goals'. Cross-dressing is not a race.

[marsha leanne]

way back when i first started, i got that sexual thrill also. At conclusion of that pathway, i was filled with disgust at both me and what had happened. But like so many have said here, that thrill dies away and the feeling of just dressing takes on a bigger meaning, and it by itself is so much better! Yes i still get a little tingle when i let Marsha out, but then, i think all women get a tingle when they put on a nice outfit and make themselves pretty. My dressing now, is for me, for Marsha, and for my sanity. the sex thing,. eehh! some other day.

[jodie k]

what is this fetish dresser category all about.
a crossdresser is a crossdresser, no need to place a term that means many things on it.
ps...i didnt find a fetish dresser category here, who would want to term themselves a fetish dresser anyway.


jodie:brolleyes::brolleyes::brolleyes:

[KaceyR]

way back when i first started, i got that sexual thrill also. At conclusion of that pathway, i was filled with disgust at both me and what had happened.

This happens for a lot of CDers. It did for me. Thanks to a lovely teddy won at a lingerie show. (Although maybe not the disgust so much.. I was pretty open minded to begin with so just retained the curiosity)
But between that, then continuing to other outfits, it shifted into not necessarily sexual, but a becomes a way to express a femininity that had always been a part of me. While my discovery of this side later would probably be where I would truly think of myself a CDer, the literal technicality of putting that teddy on repeatedly decades before proves the need/enjoyment was there earlier and the general notion of CD.

So, my start was a fetish CDer until I dig further into myself and started trying to truly understand myself. And am still working on discovering.


But like so many have said here, that thrill dies away and the feeling of just dressing takes on a bigger meaning.


Yes.. Although I gotta say after getting a couple corsets and things recently, that thrill's not completely dead :D
It's just not the most important reason anymore.

[Alice Torn]

I can identify with you, as i am 59, always single, often dressed to have a thrill, aslo have had to move 2000 miles, quit my business, to help my elderly parents. My mom died at 91, dad is 93, will likely live at least another year.

[ReineD]

[COLOR=purple]The CD aspect simply (in my mind) means you are not opposed to experiencing what the females you are fantasizing about are feeling, from the inside out.

Except that CDers do not experience what females feel ... not if the focus is on the exalted feelings associated with dressing and grooming - all the threads about the smoothness of shaved legs and hose, pretty panties, wearing bras to bed, etc. To females, all that is quite ordinary and there is no "elevated" feeling involved. No, judging by all those threads I read, CDers experience what CDers who fantasize about females feel.

To the OP, I agree with the others. CDing is CDing whether it is done for fetish or not. And if you ask most of the practiced members here, they will tell you there was an element of sexual expression when they were younger, even if they have moved on from that now.

[suspender]

Can anyone point me to the handbook for crossdressers and how we should behave?... if it existed it could be called CDBOK (book of knowledge), I wish it existed when I started out..

[alwayshave]

When I was in my teens, CDing was more as you have defined it, a means to an end. But as I have aged it is more about how I feel..

[Julia Red]

I don't like when people say that someone is not a true something. Usually is to lessen their value, saying "oh you're not part of the club because a true something does not do that".

So don't do it to yourself. In my eyes you are a crossdresser, end of story. Nowadays I have a very different approach to CDing myself, but I started just like you. You can "evolve" and enjoy other sides of it, besides the sexual thrill. Or you can stay where you are and do it your own way. Just go with the flow and enjoy it.

[lynn.crossdresser]

I experience much the same as you have with the early excitement now over thirty years ago. I was once happy with just a pair of panties for sexual fulfilment, I am now so happy and contented, fully dressing most evenings and weekends with hardly a thought about sexual fulfilment. I never thought of myself as a CD until about eight years ago, how much better my life became once I embraced my feminine side.

I dislike labels as a rule, with cross-dressing there are so many other things that could go hand in hand with it, such as submissiveness, nylon, silk, satin, even a leather fetish to name but a few. The taboo with cross-dressing makes it even more fun in a way.

So I am a cross-dresser, am I a proper cross-dresser? Who know? Who cares?

Lynn

[Maria 60]

I believe that's how it started for me, now thirty years later I have make-up, 2 wigs , a full women's wardrobe. I have never classified myself all I know is I love wearing women's clothing and the great feeling of being dressed as a women. I believe as long as you enjoy wearing the opposite sex cloths I consider a person a crossdresser.

[femaletrouble]

thanks for all your replies, ive accepted that this is who i am an if i live to be 100 i will still be dressin up in sexy undies an fancy dresses! i imagine that a the sexual aspect will eventually fade (im only 44) in the passing years... but as i read someones replie it's basicaly because i dont have a wife or girlfriend im putting all the sensual energy into my own little fantasies....to fill the void, gap, call it what you will... it's the eroctic drive i would put into a real relationship if i were maybe to have a partner! but thats another story

[CynthiaD]

I've been accused of being a fake woman, but never a fake crossdresser. I don't believe there is such a thing.

[femaletrouble]

I've been accused of being a fake woman, but never a fake crossdresser. I don't believe there is such a thing.

i somehow was thinking i am just usein womens clothes to satisfiey me sexualy an not bein of a true crossdresser... more a transvestite all these lables i will enjoy the experience whatever the reason behind it

[Milou]

I'm a bit the same, it's more about the clothes for me. I really don't know what I'm going to do with these feelings tho, and still need some time for self-disovery. I'm still afraid of buying my own clothes, but that might come in the following months. For now, I'm pretty content with my life.

[LilSissyStevie]

The way to separate the True Crossdressers™ from the posers like me (I do a lot of posing when I dress) is to form a union where members have to meet minimum qualifications. For a name I suggest either the International Fraternal Association of Eonist (IFAE) or the Protective Order Of Femulators (POOF). Whatdyathink? :D

I probably can't join because I don't think of myself as "a" Crossdresser™ at all. Crossdressing is just something I do adjunct to my main fetish. :devil:

[Confucius]

There is a wide spectrum under the umbrella of "cross-dresser". About the only thing that you need to be a "true cross-dresser" is to feel good from the experience. It could be sexual or non-sexual.

You say you started at an early age. If so, were you satisfying yourself sexually when you started? Many cross-dresser's I've talked to say that it started before puberty and at first it was a fun thrill, but it was not sexual until puberty. At puberty it seems to be very sexual, and then as you get older it seems to get harder to get sexual gratification from it. However even as you get older you feel a great sense of well-being, comfort, and self-identity.

The thing is, right now you are running on testosterone. Testosterone is responsible for your sex drive. It is not responsible for your cross-dressing. Most likely your cross-dressing is a product of the neurotransmitters in your brain. When you cross-dress your brain interprets it as contact with a woman and releases dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and other neurotransmitters which produce the sensations of well-being and gratification.

[docrobbysherry]

Except that CDers do not experience what females feel ... not if the focus is on the exalted feelings associated with dressing and grooming - all the threads about the smoothness of shaved legs and hose, pretty panties, wearing bras to bed, etc. To females, all that is quite ordinary and there is no "elevated" feeling involved. No, judging by all those threads I read, CDers experience what CDers who fantasize about females feel.

To the OP, I agree with the others. CDing is CDing whether it is done for fetish or not. And if you ask most of the practiced members here, they will tell you there was an element of sexual expression when they were younger, even if they have moved on from that now.
I've always believed that about MY, "feeling like a woman", feelings, Reine. Never having a clue WHAT they really feel like, I've always thot my "fem feelings" were nothing more than my fantasy of what women mite feel like.

However, I believe a number of women have said that after they r dressed to the 9's, all made up and ready to go out? They have looked in the mirror and thot, "That is one smokin' hot, sexy babe. I'd do her!" The same as many dressers do!

[trisha kobichenko]

replying to 'what females feel' when dressed'...my observations have been that the way I feel when wearing panties and a bralette under 'normal drab'--which I do often and for relatively long periods of time--is different from the way I feel in jockey briefs and a just a t-shirt. This isn't a mental thing, but how clothes feel on my body when worn. Right now I am wearing panties, a bralette, tight stretchy jeans and a drab t-shirt, feeling very fem and comfortable. Oh, and I forgot to mention, strappy pink sandals. A lot of the time this feels really normal to me, perhaps more normal than all drab.

[Teresa]

I really can't understand why the label thing causes so much fuss, it's only a few threads ago since it came up ! Transvestite translate from the Latin, trans= to cross, vestite= clothes, = crossdresser. There is no sexual content in the literal translation.
I have no problem with either label, all I know now is I'm a lifelong member.

[ReineD]

However, I believe a number of women have said that after they r dressed to the 9's, all made up and ready to go out? They have looked in the mirror and thot, "That is one smokin' hot, sexy babe. I'd do her!" The same as many dressers do!

Not exactly. I've gotten dressed to the nines with matching makeup & hair on occasion, and when I see myself in the mirror, I do see someone who looks much "hotter" than my usual self ... or rather someone whose looks more closely approximate the looks of models in those fashion magazines than my regular day-to-day look. But I have never, ever thought I'd do myself. LOL. Never once have I been sexually aroused over my presentation, no matter how hot it was. :p

The satisfaction that I do feel when I look hot is knowing that I am sexually pleasing to my SO (or to men in general when single) ... which if we were to compare to CDers, does't make any sense if they are female-attracted? ... unless a CDer gets off on arousing men?

[Tami]

This seems to be happening to me. Firstly it was part of masturbation now I'm spending lunch breaks shopping for clothes and painting my nails.