Outed myself to a newspaper.

[Jenny Elwood]

Last Sunday there was a feature in a local newspaper on "drag queens". The usual biased comments from readers followed, so I decided to out my fem facebook profile and answered back. I tried to demonstrate to people that chances are they know a 'dresser without even knowing it. It went as follows:

I am not I drag queen but a crossdresser. Also not gay but probably more faithful to my wife than you. Maybe I live next to you with my bunch of kids and we chat over the fence sometimes. Maybe my son plays rugby with yours and we chat next to the field. Maybe my daughter swims with yours, and we exchange friendly greetings. Maybe I work in the office next to yours. Maybe we hug in church at the preachers' encouragement. Maybe you drop your kids off for a sleepover. I am just a normal guy with a normal family.

But one night a week I hook my nr. 13 heels over my pantyhosed feet. Wiggle my bum into my girdle. Stuff my falsies into my bra and hang my dress over my too broad shoulders. My wig hides my receding hairline and I paint my face on. I check my Veet'ed legs in the mirror, my hairless underarms and my red nails, and for the first time in a week (or two or three) for a fleeting moment it feels as if all 100 pieces of the jigsaw puzzle of my life falls into place. Shortly after I meticulously start to remove all traces because my 83 piece puzzle life is calling me back.

If you knew would you still: Chat to me over the fence or next to the rugby field. Greet me at swim practice or at the office? At least still shake my hand in church? Still drop off your kids, and will they tease my kids mercilessly?

Maybe not and that is why you don't know because I am a considerate neighbour. A father who supports his son, who picks up his daughter after practice. Who does his job, and who still goes to church because, despite my little problem, I am still a believer. And your kids are save because I am not a molester.


On a lighter note I had my first "Jenny night" as agreed to with my wife since my two week "misadventure". Only thought afterwards how stupid I was not to take a camera with, since I went to (and into!) a McDonald's with two of the gay guys from the bar. I could have had a nice: "Spot the straight guy" picture! Bummer.

Have a great weekend people!!!

[Katey888]

Hey Jenny,

We'll just have to use our imagination for McDonalds... :) nice for you to be out again...

That's a very well written, balanced and reasonable piece... you are really being a champion for the local cause, aren't you..? :cheer: I hope that resonates with some people, sadly the people with bias tend to stick with their own unreasonable and bigoted views, but we have to try to change that...

Thanks for sharing again - it's always a fascinating read!

Katey x

[Beverley Sims]

Jenny, a good reply to the editor.
You would have to be someone of notoriety for them to trouble even further.

[Caden Lane]

Awesome letter. Wish you'd attached the original letter you were replying to for a little context. But context notwithstanding that was an awesome letter, and maybe it made people ponder their own bigotry, even if only for a moment.

[Laura912]

Thank you for an erudite response. Perhaps it will cause a few to think. On a lighter note, just imagine how many guys are now looking at the other guys and wondering!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jenny, That reply could've came from so many of us here.

[Leslie Langford]

Jenny, I think most of us here would be interested to find out what kind of responses your post received, and if you managed to open up a few eyes to a reality that many might not have known existed.

[Chickhe]

Gotta be careful with that... part of your response is argumentative and it highlights many stereotypes. You compare yourself to the worst of the worst and you call your activity a problem. For the most part your response is okay, but most of the haters will never read it...it is beyond what they can understand, as soon as they read something that reminds them of their version of you, they will decide their view is correct and stop reading.

[arbon]

Good for you, but, does your fem facebook page lead back in anyway to your male identity? If yes I think that is great, good job!

If not then its just an anonymous crossdresser that made the comment, and your male identity is still safely secret and protected, you are not really outed, right?

[kimdl93]

I agree, this doesn't really out you, not that it matters. I do think it's helpful to point out that you and other CDrs are present and contributing members of the community. Some are traditional males with a hidden secret. Others are less hidden, but all equally entitled to fair treatment, consideration and respect.

[Adriana Moretti]

Jenny, I think most of us here would be interested to find out what kind of responses your post received, .
yea you should post the link up so we can see....then we can respond too...LOL...we got your back....keep fighting the good fights right?

[Jules Spirit]

That is great that you decided to speak up. I think the biggest problem with any group of people who are "not in the norm" is that they do not speak up. A,tough it is hard to do and sometimes not appropriate, you found a great venue for doing so. Yeah for you!!

[Kays_Heels]

Great response! Probably caused many a jaw to drop and, like Laura912 suggested, created that little seed of doubt......! Might not change behaviours or mindsets immediately but it may achieve greater acceptance in the long run. Just goes to show the 'pavlovian' reactions labels can have......

[rachellegsep]

Hi Jenny nice letter where was the drag artical in the sunday times?

[Jenniferathome]

Jenny, I think your commentary was a good one. But you only outed Jenny. And that's ok. The content of your message is no less sound whether from Jenny or Male Jenny

[Alice B]

That is very well written sand stated. Would love to know what the editor of the article would have to say.

[Patty-Fay]

I am truly touched! Fabulous letter!!!

[Julia Red]

Awesome. I feel like quoting your post to other people. Maybe show it to my wife, who thinks the only crossdresser she knows in our city is me.

I told her once that all the people that know me can say the same thing, that they don't know anyone who crossdress. Yet they know me, so... they're mistaken.

I wish we could know exactly how many men do that.

[Marcelle]

Hi Jenny,

Very nice accounting of what the world does not see. So many people have a misconstrued understanding of what TG is and they can never put a normal loving human being to that concept. Well done in putting a human face to those of us who are TG.

Hugs

Isha

[bridget thronton]

Good post

[Jesse Six]

Enlightening the community at large one bit at a time - cheers to that! :D


despite my little problem

I don't think you have a problem, Jenny. You sound like a great person.

[Molly Wells]

Good post, hope some folks learn from it.
Molly

[sometimes_miss]

The one thing forgotten, is that nearly all of you start to believe that all the good things about you trump the fact that you're a crossdresser. And it's part of the pink fog that comes from being here, accepted, even complimented over it. Why, we're all just normal folks, right? Uh, no.
Search through the threads and you'll find, very often, being a crossdresser is often the primary thing that the general public uses to define us. Everything else is secondary.
It's something perhaps very deeply ingrained into them, most commonly the homophobia coming from the assumption that we are all gay. Even those who tolerate our existance, well that doesn't necessarly mean that they'll automatically embrace it.
Far from it.
If you really believe that when you come 'out' the first thing your friendly neighbor will say is, "Hey, Bill! I just heard, you're a crossdresser! Why, I had no idea, I think that's great! Why don't you just come right over to our house tomorrow en femme! We'd love to have you and your wife over for dinner, and introduce you to the kids, they really should get to know you better, you're obviously a role model for the whole community. Diversity, yes, diversity, is the most important quality we can have in our community, and we will all love each other and appreciate our differences."
Yeah. Right. I hate to rain on your parade, but you're more likely to win the lottery.

[telka]

You go girl

[Jenny Elwood]

You can look the article up if you like on Rapport.co.za
(http://www.rapport.co.za/Weekliks/Nuus/Ek-hou-van-hakskoene-veral-die-hoes-20140308),
Problem is you may find it a bit difficult to understand (except maybe you Rachelle) since it's in my native tongue: Afrikaans.

I only got to posting it on Tuesday though (it's a Sunday newspaper) so the only response was from the aspiring Drag Queen mentioned in the article.

[Stephanie47]

Nice letter. I'd say the same letter may be used to explain to people the qualities of a person who may be gay or a lesbian. Or one may print out the letter and give it to a wife when he outs himself to her. People who do not have to deal with a person other than to pass them in the street are not so accepting even if your positive attributes are acknowledged.

[Raychel]

Great reply to the article Jenny, Maybe you could translate the article for those of us that can't understand it.

[Christyheely]

Sometimes_Miss; Well some of us will keep trying to change things for the better instead of giving up. I think this letter is fantastic and am proud of anyone who takes any steps to open peoples' minds.

Christy

[Sallee]

great article and great response but you just opened the question. How many people would say yes they would continue to chat and be neighbors. I bet a lot would, What if you signed your real name? Would anything come of it? Obviously we don't have the answers but I bet they would be more favorable than we think

[Leslie Langford]

I thought that my knowledge of German would help me navigate through this Afrikaans text reasonably well, but it still proved to be fairly impenetrable, even for me. But that's what Google Translate is for. Mind you, it did come out as Yoda-speak on occasion, but I was still able to get the gist of it.

Good article, Jenny, and thanks for sharing your CDer's POV with the "Muggles" in the "Comments" section on behalf of the rest of us. :thumbsup: