Lilith Moon
01-10-2006, 07:49 AM
I crossdressed regularly and got out in public some time ago but never came clean to my wife. My day job gave me plenty of opportunities and my wife was away from home for several days each week on various college courses. Since moving here and working from home we have lots of privacy but I now have no opportunities for dressing in secret. So, I did what I should have done decades earlier. I told my wife.
Since then we have been struggling to reach an understanding, but things had pretty much ground to a halt. This must be a familiar story to many in here. She was not interested in CD-ing, which was to be expected. She didn’t want to talk about it and certainly did not want to reach out to anyone else for advice. Her position was “Do it at home if you must, but all doors & windows must be securely locked. Nobody must ever find out etc. etc.” It was to be our dirty little secret and discussion has gradually tailed off over the last year. For my part, I have felt uncomfortable about dressing while she is around due to her obvious disapproval. In fact, she is around for almost 100% of the time right now and this has pretty much put my dressing on hold.
For months now, this little community has been my only involvement in CD-ing. Thank you all for a lifeline. I have felt like a pressure cooker about to burst for those months and, several times, have sort of collapsed emotionally as a response to trivial upsets. I’ve sat down, paralyzed and crying for a couple of hours…followed by a deep sleep. The pressure is adversely affecting my whole life; time I should be spending on other things is taken up by a constant painful preoccupation with needing to dress.
I’m writing this, because yesterday we seem to have made a little progress. I tried something really simple…bribery. I told my wife that I wanted to go shopping. The deal was that, for every femme item I bought, she should also purchase an item of equivalent or greater value. I was expecting the usual irritated shrug and sudden change of subject. Instead, she quickly agreed provided I didn’t make it obvious to the sales persons that the clothes were for me. She would pretend they were for her. (We are of similar build.) I’m happy to purchase girly clothes for myself, done it loads of times, but I agreed to the deal. So, the outcome was a great day out shopping, which she enjoyed.
Ironically, when we got to the checkout with dozens of sale items she needed to go to the loo and I ended up standing by myself holding the skirts and lingerie, queuing, chatting to women in the queue and of course, paying. When we got home she complimented me on my fashion sense and jokingly suggested that I become her fashion adviser. We were both worn out at that stage so a fashion show was postponed. I’ve told her that I would like for us to model our new goodies together and she seems cool about the idea so far. This may seem like a tiny step to some of you, but is a giant leap for my wife ;)
I just thought I would write this in the hope that it will inspire others looking for a way to move forward in a similar impasse situation. Hope it helps.
Since then we have been struggling to reach an understanding, but things had pretty much ground to a halt. This must be a familiar story to many in here. She was not interested in CD-ing, which was to be expected. She didn’t want to talk about it and certainly did not want to reach out to anyone else for advice. Her position was “Do it at home if you must, but all doors & windows must be securely locked. Nobody must ever find out etc. etc.” It was to be our dirty little secret and discussion has gradually tailed off over the last year. For my part, I have felt uncomfortable about dressing while she is around due to her obvious disapproval. In fact, she is around for almost 100% of the time right now and this has pretty much put my dressing on hold.
For months now, this little community has been my only involvement in CD-ing. Thank you all for a lifeline. I have felt like a pressure cooker about to burst for those months and, several times, have sort of collapsed emotionally as a response to trivial upsets. I’ve sat down, paralyzed and crying for a couple of hours…followed by a deep sleep. The pressure is adversely affecting my whole life; time I should be spending on other things is taken up by a constant painful preoccupation with needing to dress.
I’m writing this, because yesterday we seem to have made a little progress. I tried something really simple…bribery. I told my wife that I wanted to go shopping. The deal was that, for every femme item I bought, she should also purchase an item of equivalent or greater value. I was expecting the usual irritated shrug and sudden change of subject. Instead, she quickly agreed provided I didn’t make it obvious to the sales persons that the clothes were for me. She would pretend they were for her. (We are of similar build.) I’m happy to purchase girly clothes for myself, done it loads of times, but I agreed to the deal. So, the outcome was a great day out shopping, which she enjoyed.
Ironically, when we got to the checkout with dozens of sale items she needed to go to the loo and I ended up standing by myself holding the skirts and lingerie, queuing, chatting to women in the queue and of course, paying. When we got home she complimented me on my fashion sense and jokingly suggested that I become her fashion adviser. We were both worn out at that stage so a fashion show was postponed. I’ve told her that I would like for us to model our new goodies together and she seems cool about the idea so far. This may seem like a tiny step to some of you, but is a giant leap for my wife ;)
I just thought I would write this in the hope that it will inspire others looking for a way to move forward in a similar impasse situation. Hope it helps.