Identity.

[I Am Paula]

I'm far enough into transition that I'm not so worried about the physical so much.
Breast growth-check
Hair removal- check
And so on...and so on.
My newest phase is dealing with legal matters, and I'm finding some side effects to it.
Last week I finished up with a bunch of paper work, and step one was my name change (Thank god that in Canada the legal gender change part is easy ((Why do gov. forms still call it gender?))
Anyway...Signed, witnessed and payment enclosed, down to the post office I go. I handed the thick envelope to the postal lady, and it felt like all my bodily fluids went cold, and my bowels became heavy. A million thoughts went thru my head as fast as my little brain could process.
I was mailing away an identity that I had used for 55 years, and giving the powers that be permission to obliterate it. I don't even get my old birth cert. back as a souvenir.
It was an identity that I was not particularly enamored with, and often considered it the root of my misery. Why would I so suddenly miss it?
The attachment to an identity I have voluntarily outgrown somehow just added such a sense of permanence. I have known for some time that I am NEVER going back, but wow, it came home so hard. In my mind I have been Paula for so long, but somehow a reality I have never known kicked in. I thought I was past the WTF moments.
I'm sure that when my new name arrives, I'll be proud of my new identity. I can take it right on down to motor vehicles and get my F drivers liscence, and really make some headway into this. All my ID should be congruent by mid summer.
I'm not regretting anything, but with my old identity gone, and a new one not yet arrived, I'm technically nobody right now.

[Angela Campbell]

once you get that drivers license you will be pretty happy. I was, I sat and stared at it for hours.

[PretzelGirl]

I would think that as much as you are driven to go forward, there are good memories in your past and it is healthy to mourn the losses with moving forward. I assume we will all have some level of losses. The gains are just far greater.

[BOBBI G.]

being a relative newbie to this exciting experience, I have all that to look forward to. I did get my bank to add Bobbi to my checks, though it is in parenthesis. I am going to frame the first one and display it. Very proud of that. I've kinda followed you for a good part of your journey, and between you and Angela, questions get answered almost before I have them. Thank you both, for posting your stories. They help me quite a bit.

Bobbi

[Rachel Smith]

What Angela said. Plus when someone ask you for you DL you will pull it out proudly and say sure here it is with a big smile.

[I Am Paula]

I have written my 'to do' list for the next few months. A lot of it starts the day my new name gets here. Of the things I have to mail away for- Medical insurance change, passport, Social ins. number. Then there's places I have to visit with my name change cert. That numbers about 50 places- Bank, Drs. offices, dentist.... It's quite an undertaking, but will all be worthwhile, and very satisfying. Luckily my social and business contacts all already know me as Paula. Another luckily, my niece is a lawyer, and she looks over all my paperwork. Almost everybody I know has had some returned because of errors, or omissions. After my marriage, it took my wife three years to make all the changes. My plan is to do it in a month. Priorities.

[tori-e]

I'm curious about the gender change in Ontario. In BC I could change my drivers license when I went full time. But couldn't change my birth certificate until after surgery. Since your drivers license is used as main source of ID, the BC gov. feels that it helps you, from a safety perspective, if your ID matches your presentation.

When I went FT I changed my name legally, then got a new DL with my new name and an F. Then next year I renewed my passport, but legally still male, it had my new name with an M. Nobody ever noticed and even US Customs called me ma'am. In Montreal, Dr. Brassards office gives you an affidavit proclaiming you anatomically female. But I didn't see the urgency so waited a year before getting a new birth certificate. Then I finally redid my passport, but only because I was planning a trip to the states. That was about three years from start to finish.

All the other stuff like credit cards was easy. They just needed to see your name change certificate. But for some reason, I've had a lot of grief from the electric company (BC Hydro) and still get my statements in my old name. (Goofballs)

The oddest thing is CRA (Canada's IRS). I was able to change my name with just a phone call. I could have told them I was Jackie O. :battingeyelashes: But few years later I got a call from someone saying I was using my husbands SIN number. Was a bit of an awkward moment. Oh well. There were so many. :)

[I Am Paula]

We can change everything here without surgery. It still requires you change your name , which gives you a new M birth cert. and then change that to F. It's a silly process, as it's the same office (registrar general). They should be able to do both at once, but alas, it is still the govnmt.
B.C. is heading toward genderless birth cert. when that happens, the feds will be forced to issue genderless passports. We're getting there slowly.
Concerning revenue Canada. They don't give a hoot about what name you use. Your SIN remains the same, so they always know who you are, or at least how to get their share.
The gov. of Ontario has a great section on their website about changing sex, and you can download all the forms right from there. It is SO easy if you can fill out forms, and deal with a bit of the typical runaround.
The only bit of beaurocracy I'm proud of is how well laid out Ontario's sex change procedures are.