In Laws Visit in June

[Bea A]

At home I dress full time with a few exceptions (work and church). I dress for out of the house androgynous but all female clothes. My wife and I discussed her parents upcoming 2 week visit. Although I agreed not to wear skirts/dresses for their visit, I will be wearing my normal clothes. She called her mother yesterday and told her about this. She (MIL) was accepting but also stated that it may be different once she actually sees me. My FIL may be different. Old school Vietnam vet, but has softened with time. MIL will tell FIL. Wife offered to answer any questions, but already covered the basic 2. No - I'm not gay, nor am I transitioning. Our annual visits are normally quite good. Any suggestions/experience on how this can be done without total chaos?

[kimdl93]

That should be an interesting visit...best of luck!

[Rachel292]

Best of luck.
I think we'd all like to know how it goes.
You don't say how long you have been married, and consequently how long your in-laws have known you.
Don't forget you are the same person they knew before, they now just know a little bit more about you.
Be yourself.

[RADER]

Maybe a good idea to put the Jenny back into the bottle for the two weeks.
I know it will be rough, but it just might be a good jester toward your wife.
Rader

[Adriana Moretti]

yea...whats wrong with taking a chill pill on the dressing? Is that an option? Or will you turn into a pumpkin? I have my 90 yr old grandfather staying here ALL month....besides some late night makeup practice...i wont be dressing at all till he leaves. I accepted this, and I am ok with it...10 bucks says I could dress in front of him and he would honestly have no idea...but thats a whole other story... btw...you say they are coming in june?? Same here..i knew MONTHS in advance March was off the calendar for dressing I was dreading it...but its halfway over already

[Ashleygirl]

I would start slow.Maybe just wear some unisex clothes to start.Mascara,light pink polish,then when they are there you all can talk and if you comfortable,dress more

[Barbra P]

. . . My FIL may be different. Old school Vietnam vet . . .
You might be surprised at how many Old School Vietnam vets, including Old School Vietnam vets who saw active combat are on this forum, including this Marine Machine Gunner. Be very careful what brush you use to paint a particular group of people.

[natcrys]

I have no advice whatsoever to give to you.. I'm just very curious how those two weeks will go. All the best of luck! :)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lisa, It's only 2 weeks try and make the best for your wife's sake.

[lingerieLiz]

If you are so adamant about wearing fem clothes around your in-laws why do you not wear them to church or work? Your in-laws know, but rubbing their nose in it??? I would scale back while they are there. Given time they may accept your CD-ing. When and if you receive a pretty gift for a special occasion you will have their acceptance.

[Shari]

Old school Vietnam vet here and I must tell you that my attitudes and levels of acceptance have greatly mellowed over the last 40 plus years. That's not to say your FIL will be the same but I'm sure he's much mellower than when he served.

It does seem that the easiest thing for you to do is simply place a moratorium on Lisa for the length of their visit. No matter their level of acceptance I can see no good coming out of it.
Your wife will ultimately bear the brunt of any negativity between trying to please her parents and trying to defend you.
Two weeks ain't gonna kill you.

[Rogina B]

Sure seems to me that in your case,the issue should have been handled in house..Now,it is a bit late for that and most importantly...What is the gain from all of this if you aren't full time?

[Marcelle]

Hi Lisa,

Just curious do both your in-laws know about Lisa as you state you MIL was accepting and was going to tell your FIL. I am guessing they have never seen you dressed androgynously before? If not, wouldn't it be better to wait till they come over, all get together and have a chat about Lisa. This will allow you to answer their questions as the person they know and then ask them if they mind seeing Lisa during their stay. I think it might be an awkward and difficult visit if they are uncomfortable all the time and don't say anything. Subsequently, this may make your wife uncomfortable since they are her parents.

Please don't think I am judging as I am not sure where your wife's thoughts are on this and she may be completely on board. Normally, I like to forewarn close friends and family members before I present Isha to them with a personal talk and pictures (if they are willing to see them) then I arrange for a meeting. However, you may have done all this already but it was not clear in your thread.

Good luck sweetie and I hope the visit goes well.

Hugs

Isha

[Beverley Sims]

If your In Laws know, androgynous without the boobs and hair will work.
Then you might advance slowly.
No skirts or dresses though.

[Bea A]

You might be surprised at how many Old School Vietnam vets, including Old School Vietnam vets who saw active combat are on this forum, including this Marine Machine Gunner. Be very careful what brush you use to paint a particular group of people.


You got me Babs... No disrespect intended - I'm a Beirut /Persian Gulf vet myself.

[Bea A]

Best of luck.
I think we'd all like to know how it goes.
You don't say how long you have been married, and consequently how long your in-laws have known you.
Don't forget you are the same person they knew before, they now just know a little bit more about you.
Be yourself.

Been married 13.5 years. Wife and I met in 1999. In-laws travel from out of state (UT) once a year for visit.

[Jaylyn]

If I were you I'd tell the wife it would be best to just not dress till they leave. Tell her you respect her parents and wouldn't want to offend them. She might just appreciate that a lot. It would also not put any undue stress or awkwardness on the relatives. Life way to short not to keep your family in the good graces toward you. I wouldn't do that to my relatives but you have to make up your own mind on this.

[Fortuneta]

My vote is no dressing, polish,earrings...nothing. When they leave they will respect your decision not to dress as they know you do. This time is for your wife and her parents. I am saddened your wife introduced it to her parents...this is between you and your wife. There is no doubt your in-laws would accept it...then...and be upset when they left. Problems ahead if you do it.
Just my opinion...
Fortuneta

[cdinmd206]

I say if you let your wife know you will not dress or do any heavy makeup during her parents stay, then she will probably be very great full. After their visit, then you can hit her up for some of those kinky things you have been wanting to do!!!!!!!! LOL

[Jenniferathome]

Yeah, how about just accommodate them. It's brief moment in time.

[Genifer Teal]

10 bucks says I could dress in front of him and he would honestly have no idea...but thats a whole other story...


ROFL. I think your idea nails it. Suck it up for two weeks. Your wife will love you for it.

[Princess Grandpa]

You might be surprised at how many Old School Vietnam vets, including Old School Vietnam vets who saw active combat are on this forum, including this Marine Machine Gunner. Be very careful what brush you use to paint a particular group of people.

Wouldn't it be funny if you were the father in law?

[Claire Cook]

Do let us know who this turns out. I dress around the house and have wondered what we'd do when we have visitors. It's fine when folks know that I dress, but what about others?

[Julia Welch]

I have no advice to give but the visit could make an interesting "reality" TV show ...

[Susan L]

If it were me I would put the CD on hold for two weeks. In my opinion this is gong to put a lot of pressure on your SO as she will be doing a lot of explaining on your behalf. Not just that, imagine if your in-laws don't accept your CD! You will have a 2 week visit from hell and your SO will be caught in the crossfire. I would put the CD on hold, it's only two weeks.

[Launa]

Don't do it even though everyone now knows about it. When they come in June don't bring it up, don't have your wigs on display, nothing, just don't do it. If it comes up in conversation with any of them while they are there then you can do some explaining but keep it light and go from there. Anything else will make them feel uncomfortable like having diarrhea the entire visit.

[Kate T]

Lisa

I think to be honest you've done all the right things so far i.e. talked with your wife and given the in laws a bit of warning, maybe they could check out some of the more reputable sites like this one on CD'ing. I sort of think it is up to your wife. Your in laws don't get to control you or your wife any more than you get to force feed them GLBT culture or tolerance. If you all disagree then agree to disagree and move on to something else.

Whateveer happens good luck with the visit.