Will you explain to me your version of "pink fog?"

[Nadine Spirit]

I think I get what the reference is, but alas, I must admit I am pretty ignorant regarding this phrase. It seems to be used to describe a variety of things. So I am curious of your personal definition of "pink fog." Please help enlighten me.

[Zylia]

Here's my take. For cross-dressers, it's the thing that makes you do irrational things like dressing up like a woman and pretending to be one when you're actually a guy. It clouds your judgment and it makes you spend more money on clothes and makeup, shave your body hair and go out in public when you really shouldn't. In the worst cases it actually makes you wonder if you're really 'just' a cross-dresser (whatever that means) or if sex reassignment therapy is going to solve all your problems.

In many cases, it's another way of saying you lack restraint without actually admitting it. It's the thing you can blame besides yourself.

[Kelly DeWinter]

You will get so many versions of what the pink fog is, but the only ones I truly respect are the GG's version describing their SO's, because GG's see everything from the outside, and their observations are hilarious !

[kimdl93]

There is no official definition. I would submit that the term most aptly refers to periods of euphoria and impaired often associated with early experiences dressing or getting out of the closet. The impaired judgement part is the problem, and may be manifest in careless risk taking behavior or unrestrained spending. Think of it as judgement impaired by foggy thinking.

[ReineD]

I think that Zylia and Kim got it right. I've nothing to add to that.

[Rachel292]

I agree - they got it spot on.
My fog is the consistancy of 'pea soup' , for those who may understand the term.

[Eryn]

For me it was that period when I started dressing regularly. I couldn't believe my good fortune and worried that every opportunity was possibly my last. If I found a pair of shoes that fit, I bought them. Same with clothes. I ended up with a lot of things I bought simply because I was afraid that I wouldn't find anything like them if I left them behind. Many of these items have been worn since but a few were "what was I thinking" items that I had to move along.

Now mind you I did not endanger my family's finances with this. Everything I bought was well within our means and with the agreement of my loving spouse.

[Adriana Moretti]

yea Zylia really nailed it ...it really dosnt get much better than her definition...in complete Zylia fashion too !....kudos !

[Kate Simmons]

A nice non Borg way of saying "Resistance is futile!" :battingeyelashes::)

[Robin777]

Zylia,Kim Got it nailed and Kate summed it up for me. "Resistance is Futile"

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Nadine, It's like people about my Rail fanning , If I have to explain it to you --you probably understand it anyway.

I guess it's like seeing the world through Rose/Fog colored glasses.

[Jesse Six]

I use the term to describe the periods of obsessive thought about cross-dressing, where clothes, makeup, and TG / CD friends are constantly on my mind, to the detriment of other parts of my life.
Makes it really hard to focus on work and family. The feeling subsides after dressing up; the more memorable the outing, the more "calm time" I get afterwards.

As you can see, I give the 'pink fog' a decidedly negative connotation. I enjoy the euphoria, but the disruptive nature is problematic.

[Nadine Spirit]

it's another way of saying you lack restraint without actually admitting it. It's the thing you can blame besides yourself.

Zylia - While I feel as though I disagree with a few of your points, I think you really nailed it with the above quote.



periods of euphoria and impaired often associated with early experiences dressing or getting out of the closet. The impaired judgement part is the problem, and may be manifest in careless risk taking behavior

This sounds most like what I have read between the lines when I have heard others use this phrase. Thanks Kim.

[Sallee]

wow heavy description but I think you are right
doing all those silly things that are a waste of money that society in general doesn't except but they are fun

[Launa]

When a CD/TG person like myself has spent so long being in the closet, then finally decides to come out, for me it was like a Ferrari stuck at a traffic light for hours. There was no control on purchases and I could careless about consequences.

[Diana81]

I'm very new to this all, and other girls have given explanations from their larger experience. I have also been reading a lot of threads, reading what you all said about this. To me, is the feeling of inmense joy which comes with the realization that you got to a point you have dreamed of being for so long.

With it comes the danger of leaving aside the rest of your life, or regard it as "not the life you want to live, that is not the real you". It's overwhelming, I have never felt like that, I'm still feeling it. I fight the urge to do something stupid.

"Pink Fog" is just perfect to describe it... everything around you is good and beautiful, sweet and smooth, you are beautiful, happy, smooth, sweet too. Nothing bad can even come from something so wonderful, that makes you feel so alive. But it can, you just don't see it because of the fog... That's how I feel, and how I try to see it, in my very modest experience.

[Erica Marie]

Zylia nailed it. Only problem for me is that it really isnt fog but more of a pink haze that I live with daily. The problem is the blue haze that is my guy life is also there. Pink and blue must make a purple haze?

[MissTee]

I would offer up that it's like drinking. A small glass or two and it can be innoculous. Like a light-headed buzz that prompts you to be giddy and affectionate; to twirl and dance a few steps in a flouncy skirt; and to just feel so good and so warm inside that even your bones smile.

In contrast, a bottle full and it can completely possess you -- a wicked overtaking of your mind that has you committing acts that would prove unthinkable in a more rational state. You may even projectile vomit yourself out of the closet and into the public purview. Afterwards, there's the skull crushing, "oh my God, what have I done," moment when reality returns . . . .

[Felicia Dee]

The term "pink fog" is fairly new to me as well. Before joining the forum, I had never heard it. My male and female sides are so hopelessly entwined that often, I guess I have just failed to notice... when I daydream about CDing and exploring my femininity its usually while perusing ladies fashion zines and websites... but I wouldn't go so far to say that my judgement gets clouded.

I am bipolar though and impulse control is therefore something I carefully monitor...

I suppose that for me then, the pink fog is simply the times I am in Wednesday mode... the times when I am truly my most feminine..?

[jjjjohanne]

In many cases, it's another way of saying you lack restraint without actually admitting it. It's the thing you can blame besides yourself.

In addition to Xylia's description about a lack of restraint, I have read where people also use the term, "Pink Fog", to describe the lack of judgment that causes you to think the following:
"I pass."
"I should tell my friend."
"This looks good on me."
"This is normal."

The best defense against the Pink Fog is to wait a day or perhaps a week before acting on your ideas. You might be right, but the Fog reduces your perception of the risks/costs involved.

[Marcelle]

Here's my take. For cross-dressers, it's the thing that makes you do irrational things like dressing up like a woman and pretending to be one when you're actually a guy. It clouds your judgment and it makes you spend more money on clothes and makeup, shave your body hair and go out in public when you really shouldn't. In the worst cases it actually makes you wonder if you're really 'just' a cross-dresser (whatever that means) or if sex reassignment therapy is going to solve all your problems.

In many cases, it's another way of saying you lack restraint without actually admitting it. It's the thing you can blame besides yourself.

I will agree in principle with Zylia's comments when it comes to restraint. Specifically, liken "pink fog" to any addiction which causes you to do irrational things. In this case I am talking about self harm or harm to others. Not harm as in physical but more emotional and financial. So if you are not ready to go out (i.e., do not have the emotional calm to face potentially negative consequences) and go out with a "sunshine and lollipop" attitude only to run into storm clouds, this could do irreparable harm emotionally. If you get so caught up in spending and find you have no money left to deal with immediate concerns then you have a restraint issue. If you go out in public at the detriment of your family without giving their concerns voice . . . you have a restraint issue.

Now the caveat . . . we are not all the same. What might be pink fog for some may not be so much for others. The contention that going out in public, shaving body hair and trying to present female when you know you are a guy . . . is not pink fog if you have come to accept who you are. I go out often, I hold no illusions that I am woman but I do shave my body, have had facial hair removal and on occasion have bought the odd outfit. My family knows, my friends know and some of my work colleagues know. All with the full consent of and disclosure to my lovely wife. So I cannot buy that going out in public means I am lost in "pink fog" . . . I am just being the me I was meant to be.

Hugs

Isha

[Zylia]

@jjjjohanne (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?211063-Will-you-explain-to-me-your-version-of-quot-pink-fog-quot&p=3464525&viewfull=1#post3464525) Very good addition, wholly agree. I also think that more people should take your advice on waiting before acting on ideas to heart, along with "don't poop where you eat".

@Isha (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/member.php?108939-Isha) You're right. I think the difference here is that you found a responsible way to incorporate your cross-dressing activities into your life. You don't put your career or personal relationships (like your marriage) at risk (as far as I know), unlike many other cross-dressing individuals. It's not just a lack of restraint for better or for worse, but also an impaired judgement as Kim mentioned.

[Ezekiel]

What would be interesting to know is why this happens, and when, what triggers that state. The impaired judgement is the worst part of it.

[Lynn Marie]

The problem with being so astute like Zylia is that there's just nothing more to say after that! It sort of gives a premature end to a thread that deserves more.

[MsVal]

The problem with being so astute like Zylia is that there's just nothing more to say after that! It sort of gives a premature end to a thread that deserves more.

Okay, here's my log on the fire.
Crossdressing, while arguably not a hobby, has many of the same characteristics of a hobby. They exist for personal satisfaction; they consume money and time. Some hobbies, like woodworking, cooking, and volunteering may provide benefits for others. Other hobbies, like golf, book collections, and gambling often benefit only the hobbiest. Hobbies that divert resources away from others (e.g. family) without providing benefit may engender resentment among those that are lacking those resources. Most hobbiests are aware of that and avoid that level of involvement. Some, however succumb to the temptation.

The above mentioned euphoria and poor judgement exist in hobbies of all sorts. The woodworker that "needs" another expensive tool, the golfer that believes he is good enough to enter a tournament, the volunteer that spends hours each night helping the cause, and the rare first edition book that is "only" a day trip away. These behaviors are not uncommon to hobbiests and may have their own hobby-specific name. Crossdressers term for the euphoria and poor judgement is Pink Fog.

Best wishes
MsVal

[Mollyanne]

My definition of the term "Pink Fog" is when you are experiencing a surge of emotion with regard to your femininity. IE: Upon getting dressed, someone comments VERY favorable about your heels, your skirt, your blouse, make-up or hair, all of a sudden there seems to be a"rush" in your head to buy things you ordinarily wouldn't buy. Hurtin' the checkbook, wearin' out the info strip on the back of your credit card would be the end result of the "PINK FOG". Hope this helps!!!!!!

Molly

[I Am Paula]

Spend half your paycheck on heels so high, all you can do is sit on the sofa and admire them.

[Ezekiel]

Okay, here's my log on the fire.
Crossdressing, while arguably not a hobby, has many of the same characteristics of a hobby. They exist for personal satisfaction; they consume money and time. Some hobbies, like woodworking, cooking, and volunteering may provide benefits for others. Other hobbies, like golf, book collections, and gambling often benefit only the hobbiest. Hobbies that divert resources away from others (e.g. family) without providing benefit may engender resentment among those that are lacking those resources. Most hobbiests are aware of that and avoid that level of involvement. Some, however succumb to the temptation.

The above mentioned euphoria and poor judgement exist in hobbies of all sorts. The woodworker that "needs" another expensive tool, the golfer that believes he is good enough to enter a tournament, the volunteer that spends hours each night helping the cause, and the rare first edition book that is "only" a day trip away. These behaviors are not uncommon to hobbiests and may have their own hobby-specific name. Crossdressers term for the euphoria and poor judgement is Pink Fog.

Best wishes
MsVal

While I mostly agree with this, what is called pink fog is something that, atleast for me, runs much deeper and seems to be capable of shuting off logic and rationale when getting hit by this state. It sucks you in a psychological state of uncontrollable euphoria and exaggerated feel for a limited span of time that can make you go through some situations that you are either unprepared for or were not really planned as when the state fades you realize it and regret it.

[Anna H]

I'd also never heard it til a couple months ago...but I did completely
understand it the first time I saw it.

Mine has calmed down into more of a pale pink haze these days, though.
Responsibilities and time and all that sort of stuff makes being sensible
the practical thing to do.

I've had my days, like everyone else, but I've learned to keep it all in
a balance where I'm nearly always happy and feel Great and save special
times for when it works best.

No more extreme ups and downs. Just nice and predictably smooth sailing!

:)

[Beverley Sims]

Pink fog ranges from euphoria to wild "imaginitus".
Dreaming you are standing in a lingerie store dressed, would be an example.

[Tanya+]

Overwhelming..intoxicating..irrational..sexual..wh en it isn't their you miss it.. For me there is an element of addiction to it, because the other compulsive things i tend to do dissipate when i dress.

I think there is also an aspect of immaturity, because for most of our generation this aspect of ourselves was repressed and did not mature with other aspects of our personality. So we cary on like pubescent girls with a credit card powered by the sexual energy our inner teenage boys.

Enjoy in moderation and try and grow quickly if You are in a relationship.

[AmandaJ]

It's experiencing the fantasy in reality. But it's really my ego taking control. I find myself quite obsessed when I am in the fog and it's not unlike other addictions; chemicals in our brains. It's best that I balance my crossdressing with the rest of my life; going beyond moderation is when things begin to get out of focus. So just come back to the center and cherish the experiences that you have.

[ophelia]

I wonder what Freud calls The Pink Fog?
You (occasional) girls have it right. Although crossdressing crosses my mind constantly I manage this delicious obsession by saving money up and planning a totally femme visit to a city where no one will recognize me. I plan everything carefully with a full menu of what comes out of my closet, dresser, jewellrey box and makeup bag, a travel itinerary, scheduled appointments and such. The anonymity and planning removes a key element of the pink fog...the danger of discovery by someone you know. The delicious pink fog doesn't go away, it evolves and still tempts me into haircut choices and purchases which may be difficult to explain later. It might be less enjoyable but things are still quite wonderful.
I often wonder if I came out and transgendered 24/7, with that danger removed, the fog would diminish and with it the enjoyment.

[Kate T]

Simple

When you make unilateral decisions regarding cross dressing that causes significant impact on others that depend on you.

Or even more simply, when you act selfishly regarding cross dressing.

[Jordan]

Pink fog to me is when you can't stop buying clothes even though you already have enough

[mariehart]

I never experienced it. Never had the opportunity, which is a pity. The closest I suppose is when I'm dressed and I feel I should be able to stay that way and go about my normal business.

I would love to spend a few days enveloped in a pink fog or even the rest of my life.

I'm dressed at the moment. Far from being in a fog. I feel ordinary. Oddly enough I didn't even feel like dressing up this morning but I almost forced myself to. It was a good idea. It's funny how it drains away so much tension in my mind.

[Vivian Chen]

Pink Fog...aerosolized Pepto Bismol?

[Michelle V]

I turn into a zombie, thinking in nothing but being feminine, always difficult to manage if I'm working. Having this site to decompress all those feelings by talking to others like me helps keep those urges them in control, it alleviates the need to run home to wear Michelle's clothes.

[natcrys]

Also for me, the term "pink fog" was completely new to me before joining this forum. I guess it's a term more used in relation to SO's and dependents of a CD-er... and since I don't have one.. I guess it's not that strange that I'm not familiar with the feeling.

I do know there was a huge sense of relief after I told my friends, but it was not like I went overboard with them only talking about make-up, shoes and clothes.

Perhaps that pink fog will come after I've told my parents.. :)

[adrienner99]

Pink fog is a state of mind I experience when I DON'T get to dress for awhile. It's a sort of reverie--I miss dressing so much I start imagining myself dressing and it almost takes over my consciousness...Some fantasies occur, too. It can last off and on for a couple of days...It is essentially an elevated version of yearning....mentally at least, I become very immersed in dressing up.

[Nadine Spirit]

It is so fascinating that there are so many different definitions of what this term means and yet it is so widely used on this site. Interesting in that the phrase cross dresser appears to suffer from the same problem.

[Claire Cook]

How about a take on Justice Potter Stewart's definition of pornography: "I can't tell you what it is. but I know it when I see it." So ... "I can't tell you what it is, but I know it when I'm in it." (Like most of the time??)


I think I'd differ a bit with Zylia's version: it's not like I'm pretending to be a girl ... it's the girl in me coming out. (Don'tcha just love it when she takes over???)

[Taylor Ray]

It is so fascinating that there are so many different definitions of what this term means and yet it is so widely used on this site. Interesting in that the phrase cross dresser appears to suffer from the same problem.

Spot on, Nadine!

Yes, my Pink Fog has less negative and "uncontrollable" aspects than others have mentioned.

Sure, I may find myself with several shopping bags full of dresses and shoes, but it is a most enjoyable experience!

I seem to be able to fully embrace myself as I am: effeminate, lovely, really into clothes and shopping.

Almost sounds like what a GG might experience.

Am I closer to my authentic self in the Pink Fog?

Only the Pink Fog will ever know...

[sometimes_miss]

For me, it was back in the 90's; I had been crossdressing so long, and had read so much about it, I had forgotten just how little of the general population knew about it. So I mistakenly assumed that it was no big deal, that all the good things about me would of course considerably outweigh the 'slight' fact that I also was a crossdresser. What a huge error. My wife divorced me, family distanced themselves from me, it was a huge shock, all because the pink fog made me feel like crossdressing was just another leisure time normal thing that 'some' people did. Boy, was I wrong.
So to sum it up, the pink fog is something that makes you forget that the rest of the world sees crossdressing WAY differently than you'd like to think it does.

[~Joanne~]

I don't believe in a "pink fog". To Me, it's just a phrase used to describe why someone did whatever it is that they did. Basically an excuse. example: You went to shop and spent most of your paycheck when you had other bills that needed attention then turn around and say "I got caught in the pink fog". In your mind that is a valid excuse with something to blame but it comes down to one's lack of control.

[Gillian Gigs]

I see the "pink fog" as being something that could fit into the obsessive/compulsive behavior category. An example for me would be, I start to think about dressing, then I want to dress, the need to dress grows. It reaches the point and I am not happy until I am in a skirt and pantyhose with heels on. I'm not saying that CDing is an OCD, but from my point of view there are some similarities. Some people with OCD experience sexual obsessions, so who is to say that Cding isn't an offshoot.

Just stirring it up in little bit, to keep the conversation going!

[Ally 2112]

Pink Fog all through my brain lately things don't seem the same EXCUSE ME while i buy this dress (guitar solo ).A take on Jimi Hendrix purple haze :)

[Andrea Chenowith]

I really like the two phrases that have come up throughout this thread - Pink Fog and Pink Haze. To me, they're descriptive of the mindsets I encounter as my interest in dressing comes and goes.

The Pink Haze is the recollection of the general feeling of satisfaction that I get from being dressed; the sensations of the fabrics, the tickle of my wig on my shoulders and the weight of my breast forms. It's a lovely feeling, and a large part of the reason that I dress.

Where it turns the corner and develops into a Pink Fog is when the desire to feel those things overwhelms my better judgment and puts my real life at risk. Yesterday is a fine example - I needed to run to Dillard's on my lunch break for some men's dress socks, since I'd had three pair recently bite the dust due to an issue with my shoes. I was underdressing in pantyhose, and I thought to myself, "what can it hurt to grab my emergency bag and go try a couple of dresses on?" 45 minutes later, I found myself racing back to work and nearly missed a 2 p.m. appointment.

It's not the first time - nor the last - I've done this on a lunch break, but I usually plan it better, and notify my coworkers and our office administrator that I'll be out longer. I know my wife has had some suspicions, but she doesn't quite know the extent of my habits. She knows that I wear panties, but that's more of a comfort thing - they're much more comfortable than men's briefs - so she's okay with that. She's caught me sneaking my pantyhose into the laundry a couple of times and has caught me in a couple of "rentals" (buy, try on, return) from Target, but she has no idea that I recently spent a couple of hours trying on wedding and bridesmaid dresses. (That was incredibly fun, because it seemed like the SA was genuinely enjoying helping me.)