our kids

[cdsara]

Does anyone ever worry this is genetic and we might pass it on to our kids? I like most had a tough time growing up dealing with it and don't want my kids to go through it.

[Suzanne F]

Yes I worry! My son told his mom yesterday that he was more of a girl than she was. We both were a little taken aback by the statement. I really think now I should tell him about me.
Suzanne

[Jenniferathome]

It will be different for them growing up than when were were kids. There are resources available today that didn't exist when we're were young. YOU will be different if you discover your kids dressing up. I don't believe that acceptance by the public will be substantially different than it is today, but discovery and expression will be much easier.

You and your wife must decide what you will do if you see cross dressing in your kids. Shame them? Scare them? Embrace them? It's totally in your hands until they are teens....

[Lorileah]

why worry about this? That would be like worrying that your child will have blue eyes. Or your child will be taller than their peers. Or smarter or better mechanically. It is not a bad gene that will shorten their lives as long as you teach them that it is "normal" for them

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sara, Two girls in mid 40s' I don't see a problem.

[sillycdlover]

why worry about this? That would be like worrying that your child will have blue eyes. Or your child will be taller than their peers. Or smarter or better mechanically. It is not a bad gene that will shorten their lives as long as you teach them that it is "normal" for them

Could not have said it better myself, Lorileah
Great minds think alike! LOL

[mariehart]

I don't worry too much. I have two small boys. There are worse things they could be. As it happens the youngest displays traits which could be interpreted as gay or feminine. But it's far too soon to make judgements like that AND I do not want to be guilty of stereotyping. I, of all people should know better than that.

But it's a different world we live in now. At least where I live, which is pretty liberal. So they won't have the same feelings of shame or guilt that I had. Also of course they have me and I will never judge them for it.

But of course I hope it passes them by if for no other reason that it make life complicated in a way most people never know.

[Chari]

Best to always love your children, accept them, respect them, and be there for them no matter where they are on the gender scale. Also if the time comes, you have had (some) experience/knowledge on the "other side of the fence". Very doubtful those genetic needs are "passed on to our kids". Enjoy.

[Kate Simmons]

Doesn't matter. I will always accept my kids and their kids regardless of their persuasions.:)

[cathie pantyhose]

My son has said a few times he'd like to shave his legs like daddy. My wife reminds him that I'm an avid cyclist and it's for the sport, even though I could say it's not a factor for my as I no longer race. He did find a nail polisher in the office one day and asked what it was, his next reply was why would you have it to polish your nails? I explained that guys can have manicures as well. I don't worry about it though. If he is, so be it. I would never shame him as society did to me.

[Beverley Sims]

Stop wondering no one seems to know, if your kids take up the interest they are likely to enjoy it more than you because of more liberal attitudes today.

[Tracii G]

I would not worry about it just love them no matter what.

[Katey888]

Two causal links are in play here.. 1) That it (whatever 'it' is) is genetic and, 2) It might be passed on... :confused:

Even if 1) were known, which it isn't - there are far worse conditions that can be passed on...

I'm sure there are more important things to be spending worry energy on than this... :)

Katey x

[Annaliese]

If they are its not because of our dressing, it because that is who they are, the difference is we will be there to help them. If we raise them right, that they can share the way they are feeling with us. That is my hope.

[cdsara]

I am just worried they will be afraid to tell me as they don't know. My wife doesn't want me to tell them either. I would not be ashamed of them but would want to help and talk about what there feeling. I sure could have used some one to talk to when younger.

[Connie D50]

Does anyone ever worry this is genetic and we might pass it on to our kids? I like most had a tough time growing up dealing with it and don't want my kids to go through it.

I have always thought of this I had 2 daughters so it didn't come into play. I however did just have a grandson 3 years ago. And I'm not sure if this matters but I had a cusin who that transitioned Male to female which makes me think it runs in the family.

[Ezekiel]

So you know for sure its genetic? No. Why worry then?

Would not worry on any level to be honest, its not a negative thing even if it is related to genetics.

[PaulaQ]

Nobody knows. You can miss out on the joys of parenting by fearing something that is unknown and beyond your control, or you can get on with life.

I worried my son would inherit my handicap. It was unknown whether or not it was genetic. (Odds are, it isn't - but they still don't really know what caused my legs to be so deformed at birth.) I guess I'd have worried about my gender issues too - if I'd been honest with myself.

My son is 26 years old - and he's fine. Neither handicapped nor gender variant.

There are some things that are simply beyond our control.

[johnboy23]

I dont worry. My three year old daughter knows about me. We go out in public together and I dress at home and as of right now she doesnt say anything that makes me worried.

[Adriana Moretti]

I'm sure there are more important things to be spending worry energy on than this... :)


YES...dont we worry enough about beard cover, makeup, finding the right sized shoe, not getting caught, wives, being outted for standing in a store, having shaved legs in this day & age, etc...

[mechamoose]

My oldest kids (30, 28) have pretty much seen me being "different" since they were like 6. They literally shrugged it off the first time they saw me with painted toes. My youngest (12) has never seen me without jewelry and a 'feminine' personality.

Growing up, if they ever had a question, I answered it directly. NO topic was off limits. Body issues like puberty stuff and sexual issues included.

The result of this?

They grew up to be cool, open minded, accepting people. My 3 year old Grandson wants Mirida's dress from 'Brave'. :)

They are going to learn about CD issues and LGBT issues at some point. If *you* don't teach your kids about these things we do, who ELSE is will be doing it instead?

- MM

[beam47]

I don't think it's genetic , if my son knew I dress He would disown me he is completely against any thing outside vanilla

[kimdl93]

Research is suggesting that transgenderism is influenced by genetics and also developmental influences in the womb. So, there may be a general predisposition resulting from genetic factors. But remember first that you and your spouse each contribute 50% of your child's genetic so that reduces the already small odds considerably. Also, it's becoming more apparent that environmental factors and perhaps even experiential factors can influence the expression of genes...even over several generations.

In short, yes, but not a high probability.

[Rachel292]

My family don't know about me.
I look after my 2 1/2 year old grandson 1 day a week. Never a hint of femme on my part.
His father (my daughter's partner) jokingly commented that he's worried about him : He's fanatical about cleaning up and helping his mum do housework, He's got a pink tablet that he plays games on, and tried to wear his mum's high heel shoes (all within half an hour, while I was visiting about a week ago).
I said there is nothing wrong with him , he's normal and not to worry. I'm convinced that if his dad knew about my dressing, i'd get blamed (rightly or wrongly), and it may affect our relationships. Otherwise all his behaviour is just plain 'boy', he's too young to be anything else, his favorite things are farm tractors, 'copters, birds and trees as well as his normal toys.
I've not noticed anything with regard my other grandson, and my grandaughters are girly girls.
Maybe there is something , i don't know, probably not. I put it down to just normal childhood behaviour, discovering what's around him.

[Samantha_Smile]

I read this thread because I thought it was going to be an awkward tale of them catching you.
Or you going through the anxiety associated with telling them about your own CDing.
But will I worry that/if my child crossdresses???
I'd worry more that they were happy, healthy and loved (not necessarily in that particular order).
Honestly, why worry?
If you suspect and/or find out that your child is crossdressing, talk it over with them, they're probably having all those horrible thoughts about themselves that you were doing at their age.
Sexual gratification at their age being a major thing, I'd tread carefully, because to (I'm assuming male) him, it may just be a situation on par with his parents finding his fleshlight.
But if it's something more, then talks need to be had, because you're his parent(s) and you will always love him, no matter what he does or is.

Cross dressing, while not necessarily having anything to do with homosexuality, is a lot like being gay.
There's nothing wrong with it, but sadly, your life will be much easier if you are not.

[KristinaP]

I have 2 boys of which the youngest lives with their mother. I got my ears pierced a few months ago and my ex asked that I don't wear them when visiting as she does not want any possible influence. :( She worries

[boink]

I'm not worried. Whether my kid is gay/straight/trans/genderqueer/etc. doesn't make a difference to me. I just want him (and any other kids we have) to be happy and be accepted for who they are. I wouldn't wish transness on my kid, it can be challenging for sure, but I am confident that he is growing up in the best possible environment if that is how he ends up identifying.

[Marcia Blue]

Inherited or not my youngest son, is TG. I have never been able to, talked at length with him, about our affliction. We know about each other. I have given him a wig and talked about shoes with him.
He is still having a hard time accepting himself. I know he is in counseling and has said it has helped with his self acceptance. I wish he did not have to deal with this.

[mechamoose]

Marcia Blue, you have a unique opportunity. Be there for your kid! :daydreaming:

- MM

[Ms. Alexis]

I don't worry that it is or at least can be genetic, because it is. I'm technically a "Late Bloomer" as I although all the indicators were there from about kindergarten it actually wasn't until I was in my mid to late 30's that I really started the road to discovering who I am gender wise. What was the real kicker though was that during an extremely rough period in my growth and self knowledge I came out to my parents and then found out that my Father is a CD as well! Now I never had a clue but he and my Mom were members of Tri S which was basically a Organization for CD's before there was ever the internet or forums like this. Of course when they were doing this I was already out of the house, and never had an inkling of any of it. Hell, Even my little sister knew~ So here I was discovering all of this and coming to terms on my own when my whole immediate family were keeping the skeleton in the closet from me, and no-one came clean until I told them about me even when they had to have seen some of the very clear early signs during my childhood that I could only recognize in retrospect. What a trip that was.

So I do believe that the tendency is genetic, but there are many other factors that come into play too, because nature's behavior can be modified by nurture.

And as far as not wanting your kids to go through it.. the hardest thing about going through it is being alone and not feeling anyone will understand or support you, so if it is genetic and does appear, How fortunate for you kids that they would have you to give them the guidance, understanding and support they need to most importantly accept themselves.

[ReineD]

This is one of the best stories I've ever read, a father who supports his transgender son by wearing a skirt in public:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/29/nils-pickert-german-dad_n_1840290.html

Granted the dad is not trying to look feminine, so maybe this is why he can get away with it. But still, one can only hope that all parents would react the same way.

[Eryn]

Luckily, both of my children hit the jackpot on the genetic lottery. Yes, XX, XX! No worries about what clothes they can and cannot wear.

[Jenniferathome]

I am just worried they will be afraid to tell me ...

Sara, you can make sure they tell you by being open about transgender issues. You don't have to tell them that you are a cross dresser but when transgender issues are on the news, for example, you can educate them right there. By telling them such things are "normal" they will not be afraid of not being normal. It's all about a parent laying the foundation via education.

[Teresa]

I don't worry about passing it on, it's what you're born with, what they see may influence them !
Jennifer your point about what to say to a Cding son is interesting because it won't be all that long before my eldest grandson will get to that age, so do I come out to my son to help advise him with his son ?

[mechamoose]

I'd at least try and ask the question...

Its harder because its 'new'. I got a clear sign with my Grandson's request for that dress.

- MM

[Lynn Marie]

My father told me that homosexuality was hereditary when I was barely 17 years old. He was gay, or at least he was at that time of his life. Not a good thing to tell a questioning teenager with acne and very little self confidence! I never got over it, although now I just don't care!