Does anyone ever feel bad the day after they dress?

[Lucy Lou]

I know that I love to dress. I know that it makes me feel great. I know that I enjoy every minute and feel more real that I ever do dressed as a man. I know that however I feel and whatever doubts I have I will still end up dressing and looking forward to it.

But ........ and here's the thing...... I still feel bad the next day. Not every time but quite often. Why???? I live in a place where this sort of lifestyle is really not accepted and if many people I know, knew that I did this they would distance themselves from me.

I have some new things arriving in the post and am looking forward to them arriving but I still feel that I am not normal and being an incredibly sensitive person it takes it toll on me.

I am sure there are others here who have the same feelings, so I would love to hear any comments.

Lucy Lou xoxoxo:)

[Diana81]

I have only dressed fully a handful of times, and yes I get bad feelings afterwards. In my case, it saddens me to think how something that makes me feel so happy, alive and complete would be regarded as very negative by my loved ones.

Which, in turn, makes me feel like I'm not normal, like there's something wrong in me. I suppose some bad feelings are normal for many girls here? Maybe it's something we learn to cope with in the proccess of accepting ourselves...

Love,

Diana.

[NathalieX66]

About 20 or so years ago, I felt a ridiculous amount of shame.

I used to talk to girls while having shaved legs , and painted toenails, and panties under my jeans. It made me feel so miserable and inadequate as a human being.

I finally learned that I'm just a gender non-conforming person. My family and friends know this side of me. There are no lies. There is nothing hidden.

I am at peace. I am just simply.......me.

[Tracii G]

Never felt bad after dressing at all.

[suchacutie]

The only negative feelings are those associated with, "so why can't I do it again today?"

As it turns out, Tina has had blocks of time every day for the last week, after a long drought. I'm smiling as I tell you that I could be male for a couple of days and be ok with it. :)

[kimdl93]

No. I'm not the least bit guilty or apologetic about who I am.

[Michelle V]

The only thing that makes me feel horrible after dressing is having to go back to being me, I mean the male version of me. I love being Michelle, I am comfortable and happy, removing all the things that physically make me Michelle is very painful sometimes. The worst felling is knowing how lucky I am in my every day life, I have a wife that not only loves me but actually likes who I am, my kids are the best and when it comes to my home life...well it is perfect. I love my career and as far a my male self, not to shabby. Yet I feel like I am missing out in the most essential aspect of living, I can only be Michelle from time to time and it hurts, especially knowing the price I would have to pay if I wanted to follow the dream of being Michelle all the time, it is too high a price so I just have to learn to cope.

[Princess Grandpa]

It occurred to me that if any of my children came to me and said they were a cross dresser I would fully accept and love them. If any of my friends or acquaintances came out to me I would gully support them and applaud their courage. If I could accept this from my friends, loved ones and strangers, do I deserve any less? Maybe the world doesn't accept me for who I am but I do! After having this epiphany I lost all of those feelings and am just having fun.

Hug
Rita

[samantha rogers]

I always feel good for several days afterward...just floating really. But then there comes a day of depression. Just missing it, I guess... sigh. I don't see any possible way my skin would ever be thick enough to go full time...but...oh, damn....sigh.
There was a time, years ago, when I would dress and ... well, you know...tee hee... and that would sometimes be followed by revulsion ... but those days are long gone.
Now I love the girl with everything I have... and I miss her so much when I have to put her away. Would that I had reached this same place many years ago.
Maybe I will go shopping... that always cheers me up!:heehee:

[Katey888]

The only negative feelings are those associated with, "so why can't I do it again today?"


Ha Ha! Yes - that was my first thought too... So I'm totally with Tina and Michelle on this - it would be great if Katey could just hang out for a prolonged period but I also suspect that the desire might fade a bit too... would be nice to give it a try!

Lucy - I do feel sorry for you... I'm guessing that it's a fairly provincial and conservative region that you live in - that must make things difficult for you? :hugs: Perhaps your only short term option is just to keep what you do in the closet - over time, either your environment may change (unlikely, I realise..) or your circumstances may be different - perhaps you will not always be where you are...

I suspect many of us also have those doubts about not being normal - but who is absolutely 'normal' anyway? Nobody! What drives us is not something of our choosing - some may perceive us as having a condition or disease, so be it; it does not change for me the simple fact that we cannot help what drives us and that it is not wrong...

I would try to take some reassurance from that and the fact that so many here also feel the same drive... :)

Katey x

[Marcelle]

Hi Lucy,

I can't say I have ever felt bad after dressing. I think you are experiencing a bit of guilt associated with liking something you think you should not like. I believe once you come to terms with yourself and get comfortable in your skin when "en femme" you will find these feeling may abate over time.

Hugs

Isha

[natcrys]

Hiya Lucy, I've never been to the SW of France (only Paris and the Alps)... I assume it's not the most liberal and tolerant of places. I hope you're situation improves.. my experiences with friends in the Netherlands is that only moving to a bigger city helped them.

For myself, I never felt bad or guilty about my dressing. The only negative aspect is my worry and concern for my parents if/when I'm ever a 100% out and how the rest of my extended family will treat my parents.

[Erica Marie]

Every day is a change for me. I too used to feel different. Not sure if I want to say ashamed, but I did have a different feeling. I think the main reason is because I still do it in secret. The few times I have been out dressed I had traveled from my home town to go out. As time moves along, I actually find myself "dressing" a bit less, but I am blending the girl in me into my everyday life a little bit more. I guess till I really figure out who I am and when I am ready to tell the world I cant be ashamed just confused.

[Adriana Moretti]

Sometimes I feel bad DURING...like wtf am I doing? And sometimes directly after dressing I want to quit...I start deleting pictures on the net...and I put a paper bag over my head...I dunno why this happens....I kinda do I guess...but it passes. Then I regret deleting my photos on facebook.

[GretchenJ]

Yes, I feel great while I am in the process, maybe a couple of times I may ask myself why am I am doing this, but it usually passes, so it's about 90-95% euphoria.

Right afterwards, while I transform back into male mode, I feel good about my accomplishments.

24 hours later, I do feel a bit ashamed and embarrassed at times, I feel exactly like Adriana , but then the feeling subsides a day later, and then I look forward to the next possible time to venture enfemme

Very weird, I do admit

[Nadine Spirit]

I have felt bad before, during, and after. But those days are becoming less and less the more I am able to accept myself for who I am. I only really became aware of my own internal negative feelings was when once, while fully dressed, I saw my reflection and clearly heard myself say "freak." It shocked me that I said this in my own head and have never heard anyone ever say anything remotely even close to that. From then on, I have tried to only focus on me being okay with me.

[Kate Simmons]

I don't know what a "normal" person is Hon as I've never been one. Thank the stars. To myself it's more like the difference in being "ordinary" or "extraordinary". Works for me.:battingeyelashes::)

[sanderlay]

There was a time, when I had not come to terms with who I am, that I felt like I had given into it and that it was wrong. That made me feel bad. However... now I do not feel that way at all. Being, and feeling, different is a gift and not a curse.

But it took years of study, research through history, self reevaluation to realize I'm not alone with these feelings. I believe that I was made this way for a reason.

[Jenniferathome]

No, I never feel bad. It is me. I like the result when I see it. I never dress at the expense of family, friends, or any obligations. I don't feel bad when I bike, surf, lift weights, why should this other aspect bother me?

[Jorja]

Lucy,
You may be feeling bad because you have not fully accepted yourself as yet. The guilt and shame stem from the fact that you feel you have to hide this part of yourself from family, friends, and society in general. Once you accept that this is just another part of you and that it is perfectly alright to dress, your bad feelings should go away.

[Felicia Dee]

When I was a kid, I'd feel bad after I dressed mostly because I didn't understand why I wanted to in the first place and thought people would hate me if they ever found out. Later on, I'd feel bad while dressing because no matter what, I was still a GM. Last week, while online, I had a WTF moment that left me feeling guilty for indulging my feminine side. Reading this thread and being part of this community, has helped me realize that I'm not alone in my fears/concerns. That's really wonderful and comforting. Nowadays, I do not feel bad before, during or after I dress ... just MAYBE after buying something. I tend to binge and have to really be careful...

But I digress... In all honesty, I am not sure what has changed for me. Wednesday is the type of person I have always wanted to be and I am doing my best to learn from her and grow.

Hugs to all.

[RADER]

I only feel bad when I have to undress, or can not dress at all.
But I never leave the house dressed, Just not feminine enough.
Rader

[Stephanie47]

It has been a while since I had those feelings. It took a lot of self reflection to resolve those feelings. I dare say every last man on this site at one time or another looked into a mirror and had some serious questions concerning something about their cross dressing. Some may still be in turmoil after decades, while some may have just shrugged their shoulders once or twice and gone on with life.

[Christy Diane]

Lucy I did up until 3 years ago. I told my wife 9 years ago(after she saw a history of me looking at crossdressers on the PC). We stayed married and I even purchased a red teddy and matching high heels(she was not happy when that came)
I would dress in my lingerie once or twice a year DADT, but always felt guilty, dirty, and like I was disappointing her.
5 years ago I purged and didn't dress for almost 2 years. I became very depressed, grumpy and very difficult to live with.
One night while getting ready for bed my wife asked what was wrong with me. I started crying and told her I was sorry, bit I was a crossdresser and it was something I had to do. After lots if crying and hugging she told me that she loved me and while she doesn't understand it and it still scared her she was OK with me being a crossdresser.
The next night while we where getting ready for bed she gave me a pair of panties she had purchased for me. It was the greatest gift ever.
I still dress infrequently, mostly when my wife and the kids visit her mom, but I have a nice panty collection and wear them to bed 2 or 3 times a week. My wife did my make up once ( the only time she saw me dressed) and if I purchase new cloths she likes to see them. Sorry I have rambled on , but my point is, this is who whe are, and before you can integrate this into your life and your loved ones life you have to let the guilt go. Everyone's answer to what will work for them will be different, but non of us have anything to be ashamed of.

[Traceyjo]

There's only one reason I feel bad the next day is because I'm not still dressed. I just remember how wonderful it was and how much pleasure it gave me.

[Audrey34]

I usually get depressed the day after my cd support group meetings. We only meet on the second Saturday of each month and I love being among my sisters and socializing all evening. Then comes Sunday and a feeling of emptyness. No one to talk to (except online), no social interaction, no walking around in a pretty outfit and heels. And dressing by yourself at home doesn't quite cut it. So yeah, that's really the only time I feel bad. I guess I want more.
Audrey

[Lacyfem]

Yes as I'm sure it's from the fact that we are not accepted and the guilt sets in but that does go away and I'm off to the next dressing adventure. Like one said it also depends how far I go with my dressing as sometimes able to dress for a day or two fully and that feels so good to feel the gurl inside me come out. On these occassions I sometimes have male visitors who enjoy my fem side and the fun we can have as man and women. This very often leads to sex which I enjoy as a woman also and when these episodes are over I defintely feel bad and guilty. I've purged after these sessions which I've always regretted as I manage to get over the guilt and look forward to the next time I can fully dress and explore more of my fem side. It's a cycle which when this feeling bad about it sets in I can't stop as the desire to dress and be fem is too great.

[MsVal]

As one that has yet to go out, and a stranger to the feelings reported in this thread, could those feelings be the same as or similar to 'post-event letdown'? The feeling one gets upon returning home from a great vacation, or the day after a big event?

Best wishes
MsVal

[samantha rogers]

Val, your comment is on the money for me. After the high of being myself (dressed) and out, the letdown of going drab again is what is tough.

[Beverley Sims]

When I was young I had a sense of guilt because it was not the accepted thing to do.

These days..... Naah..... :)

[Julia Red]

I felt bad about it for most of my life. Probably because I was doing it in secrecy, and if you're doing something you can't tell anyone, it's probably wrong. Also, when I got married, my wife had a very negative feeling towards it, and it contributed to my negative feeling. I was hurting her in the process, and hurting myself too.

But then I realized that the only negative feelings I had about it were coming from the outside, not the inside. I was worried about other people, my wife, and so on. I tend to be altruistic, so sometimes I put the feeling of loved ones above mine. But I, myself, didn't have a problem with it. I never wanted to quit, and the feeling was so good that I kept coming back.

Nowadays I'm starting to get a differente attitude. I'm gonna do it, that's how I am, and there's nothing other people can do to stop it. I've told my daughter. My mother-in-law. Some friends. All of them had a positive attitude and that raised my confidence. So now I don't feel bad about it anymore. I don't care anymore. That's me, that's how I am, so bear with me.

The only bad feeling that remains is when I have to go back to male mode, but even that is fading away, because I'm understanding that's how things are.

[Aylineira]

HI Lucy! I have to say that I used to feel this way when I was very young. Now I don't feel this way anymore. I feel very happy and free whenever I am able to dress for fun.

[Isabella77]

I have always had conflict inside of me about x-dressing. However, as time went by I learned more and more that it was a part of me. I have the tendency of distancing myself from the people who I don't think would accept me as a CD. I'm not really opened about my dressing, but if I was I don't think I would want to have the kind of friends that would judge me for it. I used to judge myself a lot. I still do somewhat. All it really does is cause myself unwanted anxiety.

[Raychel]

Never really had that issue, I always felt just fine after dressing, Sometimes a bit depressed that
I could not dressup longer, And lately, I really don't feel right unless I get to dress. :sad:

[Jaidyn]

I feel ashamed sometimes. and always paranoid that my shave is to close or Ive still got nail polish on and its gonna give away my secret

[Laura28]

When I was younger I always felt bead after dressing I would say even ashamed and swore never again. But I guess with age comes a different attitude because now I don't have any regrets I have truly come to accept my self for who I am. I am often undressed when with friends and family and it doesn't faze me at all anymore.

[Launa]

When I was younger I felt really bad when I did anything that was CD/TG related, I used to hate this part of me so, so much.

[CD_blue]

Nope can't say ever felt bad/guilty about it. Only thing feel bad about it is I don't do it in the outside world everyday :)

[julia marie]

Those feelings seem to come and go, even on a single outing,for me. Sometimes it's easy to deal with, sometimes stressful.

[Melissa in SE Tn]

No... Not anymore. I accept who I am , look forward to dressing & many times lament at having to undress. " tomorrow will be another day".

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lucy Lou, I dress just about everyday for a few hours so I really don't have time to feel sorry for dressing.

Although sometimes I really wonder why I have three closets full of ladies clothes,
Then the thoughts quickly turn to what should I wear Tomorrow when I get dressed.

[MissTee]

I do not.

[ChristinaK]

I have only been out twice completely en femme and yes, I felt somewhat ashamed afterward. The reactions of the people that saw me were ambivalent enough that I' m not sure that I was read, except for a little girl who stared very hard and was not smiling.

I don't want to upset people, nor do I want to be upset, so I feel guilty of doing so, although it was not apparent. Even so, I enjoyed the experience immensely and hope to have the opportunity to do it again. I felt so free and really feminine, especially when people treated me normally and even got a "how are you" from a passing security guard.

When in private, I don't feel much guilt, but am always concerned about being discovered. I suppose as time passes I will shed myself of those feelings about being in public. Wish I had time to do it again. I would do it every day if I could.

I do have fear that one outing will be a bad experience and that it might ruin the fun for me.

[CassieD]

I used to feel guilty but not for a long time now. I just came to accept that boy me and girl me were the same me.

[Lucy Lou]

Thank you girls for all your comments. A lot to think about. I have accepted that this is a part of me and that I will always dress because I do enjoy it too much to stop. Being on here makes it a lot better and hearing other people who go through the same feelings as me always helps. The guilt feeling that society brings to everyones head does make me struggle a bit but it is getting less.

The next time I can dress will be this friday and I am looking forward to it already and I have some new stuff to ware so that will be great.

You all make me feel like you are my friends and we share a special bond together, thanks again. Lucy Lou xx

[Cheryl T]

Ah, this sounds like the ugly Guilt Monster rearing it's head.
I experienced that for decades. I'd buy some pretty things and spend time dressing then suddenly this huge guilt trip would hit and push me to the edge. I'd purge and swear 'never again' and be so relieved. Then a few weeks, a few months later there I was buying some pantyhose, a pair of heels, a cute dress and it all began again.
It wasn't until I accepted myself for who I am and that this is part of who I am that I slayed that monster. I've never felt that way since and love being me!!

[Krisi]

I don't feel bad after dressing. If you're feeling guilt, don't. Plenty of men are crossdressers. This is something you can work out in your own mind.

[Alice Torn]

Bible and religion, societal norms, always cause me guilt.

[Davina4587]

I do feel guilt but I think this is because I'm dressing behind my SO's back and in a way I feel like I'm cheating on her.

I know she loves me very much and I feel the same way about her. I am not willing or ready at this stage to risk Davina coming between us.

So for now I'll only dress when I know there is no risk of Davina being discovered and deal with the guilt.

Davina
x