Would anyone be insterented in being my friend?

[Zoey Neon]

I told my family and friends that I was cross dressing for a year I finally came out of the closet... Now my all my friends harassed me and left and I have no one to turn to. I love showing my fem side it's who I am I'm happy when I get all dressed and do my make up to look pretty but everyone hates me for I have no friends to talk to. My parents are finally talking to me again but I just need a friend sorry to be so depressing and needy I just don't know what to do. I'm trying to get help or advice on what to do.

[Adriana Moretti]

wish you would have came here FIRST ms first post...you would have learned alot but i am sorry to hear what happened. Sometimes you have to look before you leap.

[Zoey Neon]

I know I made a terrible mistake and now I'm sitting here feeling like **** over it and I'm sorry I just finally decided to sign up little late I know sorry

[Danielle11]

Zoey, there are always friends here! You're here now and you will meet many great friends!
Danielle

[Zoey Neon]

Thanks Danielle means a lot to me:)

[anaissa]

I am so sorry for the pain you are experiencing. I can only imagine the loneliness that you must endure. But know that you will have many friends and supporters here. I am sending you a great big hug, darlin'.

Your friend,

Anaissa

[Danielle11]

Some times its easy. Sometimes its hard. Sometimes those you count on weaken. some times those you doubt strengthen. Chin up. chest out girl! Your life, lead it!

[Zoey Neon]

Thank you Anaissa it's hard but your words of wisdom have turned my night around a lot:)

I'll try my best Danielle :)thanks:)

[Danielle11]

I know you will love. Don't get discouraged. Im sure they are
'SHOCKED". When you have a shift in someone that you thought you knew it can be that way. Give them some time. Some will come to see that you are no different. some will see some one that they cant personally deal with. Try to forgive them. They know not what they miss. :)

[Zoey Neon]

You know your right things could turn around I'm so happy to see there is some many wise and nice people on this site like you and some others:) and I may say your are very sweet,caring, and kind keep up that great attitude girl:)

[trisha kobichenko]

sure. not unfamiliar (nobody here is :)) with some rejection and angst on coming out to friends & family.

[Zoey Neon]

You just worded that lil confusing or I'm having a blonde moment hehe:)

[Danielle11]

No false hope. Steady in who you are. Its tough. Persevere. You're gay. You cant make up your mind. Sissy. Pervert. Weak.
You're gonna hear it all. Nothing is farther from the truth. We are two people. Forged into one. Because we are strong enough to be two made into one.

[Zoey Neon]

That was deep you touched my soul there

[trisha kobichenko]

if the confusion was surrounding my comment...anyone we deal with will have a 'reaction' to an announcement of our real personnas when their expectations have been that we have a traditional sexual orientation. If not...just ignore...LOL :)

[Danielle11]

Trisha, its not always HELL FIRE AND BRIMSTONE. Not always milk and honey. true question is what is your comfort level?

Zoey, its what we are

[sandra-leigh]

Zoey, sometimes freedom becomes more important than the status quo.

You took a risk, but if you never take risks you never change and never improve.

You found out that your friends were not really friends after all.

In return, you avoided years of fear that had you hiding your real self "in case" one of those people rejected you. You walked through the fire, you got a bit burned, but now you are on the other side of the fire. In future you can choose your friends according to whether they accept you or not -- and there will be people who accept you.

So many of us hide ourselves in fear of what might happen. We get involved in relationships and are afraid to tell the other person -- and the longer we leave telling them, the more afraid we get of losing everything we "invested" with the other person. A lot of us have children, and then the stakes become higher, as we become afraid of losing our children too if anyone finds out. Then, 30 years into the relationship, we finally admit what we already knew, and sometimes it makes the relationship stronger and sometimes the other person becomes furious and feels "betrayed" and "lied to": now that you are already out, you can tell potential partners early on.

You got rid of the false friends before they went false on you about something else more hidden.

It may seem like a disaster right now, but there are so many of us who end up wishing for decades that we had had the strength to come out young. You can now live for all of you. You gave yourself an opportunity to be honest with yourself and those close to you.

I wonder if there are support groups in your part of your state? I believe that Tri-Ess is active in a few cities there.

[Zoey Neon]

We are two people in one I agree Danielle

Well Sandra the cities where the support groups are, are probally far away I kinda live in the middle of no where but after college I wanna move to a bigger city where I can find support groups and thanks for the words it means a lot of y'all here in this forum you're are great beautiful people:)

[Danielle11]

Damn .Trisha. I wrote something to that effect and deleted it. In real life, I am about as masculine as I can get. I work construction, I have had 150 construction workers under me. I race cars, bikes. Drink hard,play hard, fight hard. Married, have 3 granddaughters that I would die for. Yet, when I leave for work in the morning, my mascara is right, and I wear a nude lipstick. If they only really knew. BTW, some have spread rumors, but everyone I have confronted about it pussied out.

Sandra, it was a big reveal for her friends. sometimes it takes a while to digest. could be they find it ok after thinking about it. maybe not. remember, we have dealt with this all our lives. we cant expect acceptance with just a couple hours of knowledge.

Zoey, I pierced my belly button last week. definrtly fem, definetly discrete.

[Zoey Neon]

Awwww I'm so jealous:(

[Danielle11]

it only hurts for a second. but its SO SO SEXY!!!!!!

[Zoey Neon]

Aww ur making so jealous I want to do that so bad lol so I'm guessing it was totally worth it?;) I may have to get one myself then hehehe:)

[Danielle11]

I replied to your email. hope it was the right link. Belly Button is so sexy. Very discrete too!

[Zoey Neon]

Wait u sent it to my email? Havnt got it yet:( which email did u send it to?

[Danielle11]

sorry, pm

[noeleena]

Hi,

Pity your not down under other side of world,

id be able to to you to the sights we have, and dont matter how your dressed. i have many many friends and they get to meet my other friends here where we live in Waimate the south isl of NZ. i indroduse them when im talking to my friends,

They know me so well its never an issue mind you i'v schooled them they know what to expect and they know a bit about my freinds so no drama's . and they'r cool .

Pity you got done over when you said you dressed,
well theres one detail about it you'll find who are real friends and you just go on iv told many 1000's of people here and acceptance is woderfull just the difference with people

i'v had very few reject myself as a person in fact really its fantastic how people have recieved me, so dont give up dont loose sight of who you are, okay. yes it can be hard i know that only too well give your self time and those around you and see what transpires .

Take care,

...noeleena...

[KristyE]

Your not alone sweetie, welcome on board.
Love KristyE

[Katey888]

Hi Zoey,

You've already made a bit of a splash here but hopefully you've found a supportive place for you to come to when you need it.

What's done is done, I'm afraid - now you just have to hunker down and deal with the consequences - but take your time, take it one day at a time, feel free to come back here for advice - most importantly - DON'T PANIC... :)

Sounds like your parents will come round - they will also need time to understand and work it out.

Those friends you had? Some may come back - they also will need to time to understand and process this...

Why not take a deep breath - tell us a little more about yourself in the Intro section? Keep reading this forum - there is a LOT of info here that can help :)

Do also please, please, read the Forum FAQs, rules and stickies in each section - they'll help you get around and provide useful guidelines for posting.

And finally...

KEEP CALM & CARRY ON! :D

:hugs:

Katey x

[Erica Marie]

Zoey I promise you will make alot of friends here. It is a great place to ask questions and just plain vent at times. Now that the cat is out of the bag there is no turning back. Just show your family and friends that you are proud of who you are, even if you never show them your girl side.

[Marcelle]

Hi Zoey,

It is very hard indeed to loose friends to this thing we do. I have lost a very close friend when I came out to him. You might find that some will come around. Remember, the big reveal can come as a shock and sometimes the knee jerk reaction is denial and anger. Give it some time.

In the meantime, is there a TG community you can reach out to in your area or a local LGBT venue where you can go. You may have lost some old friends but you might make some new ones. However, we are all here for you sweetie so you can lean on us for awhile until you get your balance again. :hugs:

Hugs

Isha

[flatlander_48]

Sometime the right thing happens, but way in which it happens may not be the best. However, that doesn't mean that the right thing should not have happened.

Wherever things sit for us, LGBT or crossdresser, we all carry the burden (in varying degrees) of deciding who you come out to and why. And sometimes, BLAM, it just comes out. It might not be the ideal way and it might draw more in the way of consequences, but at least the air is clear. You can't unring a bell. The only choice at this point is to go forward.

Certainly it can feel VERY tough, but it is survivable, as we here can attest.

[Chari]

Zoey, Every life is filled with many decisions. Some we make are wonderful, while others can cause heartache. It is difficult to predict how family and friends will react when we decide to "come out", but it is the choice we make! You as an individual must always be comfortable and confident in who you are in YOUR life. Consider this not the end, but a new beginning for you! Many here are just a "click" away. Enjoy.

[larry]

Thanks Adriana for your site.

[larry]

Hey Zoey, You have a lot of friends here. Relax and enjoy the ride. Those who harass and leave were not FRIENDS !! Just do not go about rubbing it into peoples faces. Find those that will accept you for YOU !!

[Erica Anne]

Zoey,
I am sorry to hear of your recent unhappy events, and isolation. Our lifestyle can be unpredictable how others react. It is not the end of the world.

I have a few close friends going back some 30 or more years. Would I ever tell them my secret ? no. They are like brothers to me. There are two that I have come out to, but they were not guy friends. One was my sister and the other my ex-sister-in-law, as well as my wife (happed very early in the relationship and long before marriage, also no relation to ex-sister-in-law.) Response from others (which may be most) can be unpredictable. There are those who would not care and others would simply ignore you as if you do not exist. It is hard to say to someone that if the person rejects you for coming out, it does not mean they are not true friends. You have to see it in a different light, similar to a spouse who discovers you or if you let the cat out of the bag, it can be a shock, an in most cases they feel you have lied to them and the friendship was not sincere because of your deception. As for male friends, expect it. Men fear labeling simply by association and they fear someone else would confuse them as something they are not simply because you walk a different path.

[jackielou]

hello zoey we are allways ready to a friend any time and we understand how it is to have a softer side of life ,welcome to a great group

[Danicd1]

We are all friends on here, sorry to hear things turned out that way. Keep your head up Hun.
Danielle x

[Princess Grandpa]

*Hug*

I'm sorry it went this way. It's hard to feel your all alone in this world! Your not alone! You will find friendship and support here. There are lots here dealing with the same things. Hopefully their stories will help you deal with your situation. I bet their are meet up/support groups out there in Illinois. Maybe you could find one? It would help to meet others who deal with the same types of issues.

If you ever need an ear, please feel free to PM me.

Hug
Rita

[Beverley Sims]

Zoey,
Come and sit on my lap for a second....

I know how you feel, alone and unwanted, carrying a terrible stigma, dressing in womens clothes.... What next.... :)

Everyone here on the board will sympathise with you and give you guidance and support, we will give you a little lift and a smile.

When you get to know us you may find a friend amongst us.

Friends are something you earn and not necessarily friending on Facebook or some other social media is really the same.

It is hard when you feel all alone in the world and think that no one loves you... I can assure you there is someone out there for you and one day you will find that friend.
In the meantime, take a deep breath, wipe those tears and give us all a big smile. :)

By the way do you know who my best friend is?


























It is my wife, and it always will be.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Zoey, They probably weren't real friend's anyway.

[DW]

Hi Zoey. If your "friends" do not accept you for who you are... Then they are NOT true friends!
A true friend accepts "YOU". There are a lot of true friends here. I am sure you will get to know a few of them!

[NathalieX66]

Sorry to hear about your situation. People can be mean.
You can always count me as a friend.

[alexis61]

We are all here for you sweetie. I've read most of the threads and there is a wealth of good advice. You be you and walk through life like you own it!

[Nicole Erin]

One's social circle can change after coming out.
So at this point you came out, the damage is done. Now time to start building a new circle of friends. It will not happen overnight. It could take months or even years to establish a new social circle. It does not even have to be GLBT either.
The more confidence you gain in who you are, the easier it will become. For the Tg who live this ful time, the femme side is all our acquaintances and some friends even know.

One thing that helps also is if new people know your CD status right away. Introduce yourself by your female name and do not tell the man name.

[Amanda M]

Zoey - you have been strong and taken risks. Your parents are talking to you again. From here on, if you STAY strong, the only ways is up!

Friends - you will make new ones - and better than the trash that serted you. Besides, there's always us lot on here.... we ARE your friends too.