First time in public last week!

[Lucy Long Legs]

I finally ventured out to a local CD meeting having thought about it for years. I've read a lot of advice here and considered various options and, for me, this is what worked. I went to have my make-up done professionally and then I decided to dress smart but sexy. So a sleeveless lacy top, a choker and a fairly long wig. A smart miniskirt, thin black hose and shiny black 4 in heels. I considered a demure black business skirt suit which would not attract any looks but realised, once I was dressed, the sexiness gave me confidence and a feeling of power. I drove to the venue to find that the others were dressed very soberly and the general mood was rather downbeat with people discussing their problems. When I ventured to suggest that I was having a fun time, I was told I was over-simplifying things. Maybe I am - I enjoy dressing and the only people who know are happy with this. After leaving the meeting I had no hesitation in going into a service area to buy a coffee and was eyed up by the young guy behind the counter - whether he guessed or not I really don't care.
I'm really glad I did it and I'm sure I'll do it again - my advice is: plan everything carefully and there is nothing to be afraid of. I took make-up remover and guy clothes in the car in case there was some disaster but everything went fine.

[Katey888]

That's an interesting experience Lucy, thanks for sharing it and the good advice to prepare - also for what made you feel comfortable to give you that extra confidence lift. That's an important point! :)

I've wondered what these support groups would be like - I'm not sure we're as fortunate in the UK as you are in the US with how many may be around, and I suppose the nature of support groups is that they are opportunities for like-minded folk to air their problems... Sounds to me like you might be ready for one of the more social events...? :D

You seem to have a lot of confidence and also be quite passable - I'd love to be at that point myself... Thanks again for sharing that...

Katey x

[natcrys]

First of all, congratulations for going out in public for the first time! The first steps are usually the hardest! :)

Secondly, I hope you made pics of yourself.. because that outfits sounds very nice.. sexy business look with heels.. you certainly got my attention!

About the experience itself.. I noticed that myself with support groups in the Netherlands. Some of them really tend to attract all the CD/TV/TG crowd that want discuss their problems and issues... and while this is very necessary for them, it can be downer for the whole mood of the evening.

I also noticed that it differs per city. A few years ago, I just went to many different groups.. just to check them out and now I've settled on about two of them. They both have music playing, there's room to dance.. but there's also the possibility to have a serious deep conversation if you're in the mood for that. I think that's the best combination! :)

Still, I'm glad you felt very good and confident.. and that you actually decided to get that coffee! :)

[Claire Cook]

Lucy,

Thanks for sharing this first 'big step". You felt what many of us felt that first time out (but you didn't sound nervous, as many of us did!) It sounds like the only downside was the tenor of the meeting .. hopefully some of those there were enjoying themselves. Over-simplifying? Maybe -- but the pink fog does tend to color our perceptions!

Here's to the next time!

[Marcelle]

Hi Lucy,

Congrats on a great first outing. Your outfit sounds lovely and by the attention paid to you by the young man in the coffee shop you must have wore it well. It sounds like you had a good time just being out there. I too have engaged a support group where the tone of the meeting is a bit downcast. I have stayed to provide input and support as some of these gals need this but stopped going when a few gals got a bit too militant and judgmental. Now I just go about my Isha days amongst the world.

Hugs

Isha

[flatlander_48]

I drove to the venue to find that the others were dressed very soberly and the general mood was rather downbeat with people discussing their problems. When I ventured to suggest that I was having a fun time, I was told I was over-simplifying things.

It's hard to say what is going on for people. You would need a few more visits to see if this is the consistent tenor of the group. Hopefully you just happened to catch them when many were in a not-so-good space.

External forces can make dressing something less than a fun time, such as wardrobe malfunctions or ignoring some negative aspects of the chosen venue. Clearly though, if we have made the effort to enter the social world as our feminine side, it SHOULD be a good time. If you have ever been to a restaurant where one baby is crying and soon EVERY baby is crying, perhaps that was the situation in the meeting. If we're trying to feel good, we don't need a negative drain on our energy.

Anyway, I hope what you saw wasn't a permanent condition...

[Chari]

Lucy, You are to be commended for moving up another level to experience being out & about, and for planning a "just in case disaster kit"! Your attire for your latest adventure sounds very fashionable. Although you felt the meeting, members, and their outfits were "rather downbeat", please do not judge that as the norm. Some of us can attest to meetings and members having a great time from beginning to end! No matter where you go, always be comfortable and confident in what you choose to wear! Enjoy.

[Beverley Sims]

Lucy,
The only down side to this seems to be that you were told you were over simplifying things.

Maybe too many deep thinkers there.

I agree with your last paragraph and yes, enjoy the moment.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lucy, The main thing is that you felt great.

[KristyE]

Sounds great Lucy, Your post helps build confidence for others like me.
Thank you,
Love KristyE

[Lynn Marie]

Nice going. I belong to a support group in Seattle and another semi unorganized group that I'm sort of the defacto leader of in Everett, Washington. The support group attracts all kinds and is what you make it. I've made a lot of friends there. My group meets every Friday night for a drink or two, maybe dinner, dancing, and hanging out with friends. Having CD girlfriends is so much fun.

[Adriana Moretti]

hey Lucy......i love your attitude!!!! glad you enjoyed yourself......and you are right...if you enjoy dressing and are comfortble in your own skin you are happy camper ! I am like you too I plan....then plan again. no pics?

[Jenniferathome]

I... I decided to dress smart but sexy. So a sleeveless lacy top, a choker and a fairly long wig. A smart miniskirt, thin black hose and shiny black 4 in heels.....

I don't think support meetings and "sexy" go together. Just go out and forget the meeting.

[Persephone]

Congratulations on finally heading out, Lucy!

Yes, groups can differ. Does this one meet in a restaurant or in some private space like a home? I suspect that groups that are "out and about" are more upbeat.

So, sorry about that part of the experience but otherwise it sounds like you made all the right moves. And that you had confidence and courage! That's what makes all the difference!

Here's to your next trip into the world! :ms:

Hugs,
Persephone.