OMG I'm Out

[Nigella]

Now that I have your attention, let me pose a question, aimed mainly at those who are out and about, but no-one else knows.

Quite happily you are wandering around, doing your own thing, bothering no-one when all of a sudden something happens around you and you get caught up in it. :eek:

It is caught by many people on various recording devices and eventually you are shown on the local news or reported in the local papers and there you are "YOU ARE OUT".

How do you think you would deal with the aftermath of such an event?

[reb.femme]

For me personally, it sounds remarkably like "duck em all". Once out, your out.....c'est la vie!

Not sure the wife would feel the same though. :devil:

Rebecca

[dana digs sweaters]

Blow a kiss to the camera showing them we can be fabulous

[natcrys]

At that point.. there's isn't much one can do about it. :)

The first thing I would do is.. I'd call my parents, ask if they saw it. If not, I'd drive over there.. and just tell them. If they did, I'd first talk to them on the phone.. make sure they're somewhat okay and then still drive to them.

Everything else is secondary.

[Rhonda Darling]

Good question. Unless I was actually involved, like in a fight, or my wig got pulled off, I doubt anyone would recognize me on the news. Worst case, I suppose I'd start finding out who my true friends are.

Work would be interesting. It professes to be a place of tolerance and acceptance. However no managers or top management is, to my knowledge, GLBTQ. Would be interesting to see how they would treat and react to one of their own coming out as cd/ts,.

[Laura912]

The scenario you describe is exactly what keeps me "in." The fallout and how it would affect my wife, who is otherwise very supportive of dressing as much as I want, is the reason for not being out more in our community. Primum non nocere.

[Marcelle]

I am with Rhonda on this one. Unless I was the center of the disturbance (Transgender gal falls in fountain looses wig and everyone stares . . . story at seven) I doubt anyone would recognize me. Not that I pass as a woman (not a chance) I just look completely different from my shaved head "en boy" look. People would still see a guy in a dress but I doubt they would think it was me. Now if it did happen, those who know about me would not bat an eye, those who don't . . . well I guess we'll see just how good a friend they are.

Hugs

Isha

[Chari]

Depending on how well the individual "passes or blends in", and how involved they are in the issue, it has been proven many times most of what is seen can not be confirmed by only a few witnesses. My intention is to be grateful for all the facets of my life - no matter how I'm dressed. Enjoy.

[Kate Simmons]

I'd no doubt be waving at the camera the way I wave to my neighbors when I go out. :)

[Dana921]

Making the assumption, that I was really recognized for some reason, then I would treat it as a non event! When ever someone would try and tease or put me on the spot I would respond positively. Yes, I was dressed in a feminine way, did you think I looked good? Yes I do have a feminine side, I express it, it makes me a stronger and better person for it! I empathize and can understand others better. I see a larger picture and have more skill sets, tools to use when dealing with people and personal / business situations.

The minute you allow yourself to go defensive, you will have effectively shown others you feel you are guilty of something. Then you either deny, play the victim card, lie to some extent or just come up with something else that you can be questioned on. It is time for us to not do that anymore. I am not suggesting you come out, but if it happens prepare yourself to answer in a positive way. That will leave people with far less ammunition to throw your way!

Dana

[Jenniferathome]

That's pretty far flung but...I'd own up to anyone who followed up and asked me. Pragmatism, is a good thing.

[Princess Grandpa]

This question goes through my head from time to time. Frequently while Julie and I are out on the dance floor in our matching outfits we see people taking pictures/videos of us that will clearly end up on Facebook or other social media.

Other than the fear that the family members of some of our residents seeing and pulling there loved ones out of my care, I wouldn't be too concerned. All the people in my life that matter to me know. The rest of my family, well, I like Rita more than I like them anyway.

Hug
Rita

[Nadine Spirit]

Yeah, after eight years going out, and nothing ever coming even close to that, it does seem pretty far fetched.

But stuff does happen. My close friends, who knew me exclusively as a guy, told me they would never recognize me if they saw me face to face. So I doubt anyone would ever recognize me if I happened to end up on TV. My wife and I have discussed this often actually. We have concluded the only way someone would recognize me is by recognizing her. With that being said, if it did happen, I would own it.

[Beverley Sims]

Just posting regularly here and expounding your knowledge can get you into more interesting situations than you may desire......

What about a Californian that wears a mask and is then featured on the Channel seven Breakfast show in Australia.

I use Sherry's appearance as an example because it is recent and interesting.

The Internet provider that looks at people who post to obviously "nefarious sites" such as Crossdressers.Com. :)
That is what "T" Mobile said to me when I specifically asked for access.

If there is an air of mystery or sensationalism the news hounds need it for a quiet day.

Being dressed in a bank when there is a holdup is one of those situations we can all dread as we would be questioned closely and probably embarrassed.

To answer the question.
I would try to make my position appear as interesting as possible.

Good publicity is a plus for me. :)

[Julia Red]

I don't know how I would react... Get into defensive mode? Laugh about it with my friends? Make excuses? Feel relieved now that everybody knows? No idea. I guess I would first see how the people I know would react about it to make my move.

[Tracii G]

I was captured in a local TV news story about the Christmas shopping rush.
The camera crew were out side of Gordman's dept store filming people going in and coming out.
I had parked my car and was walking towards the store.There were others close to me walking towards the camera.
A man and a woman and their small Daughter were just behind me and she said Oh no I don't want to be on TV I look horrible.
She asked Ma'am can I hide behind you? I said yeah sure go ahead.
I saw the segment on the 11:00 PM news that night and never heard a peep out of anyone.
Like Isha I don't look anything like my guy self when en femme so I don't really worry about being seen.

[Emjay]

Since I'm in "coming out mode" to family, that would definitely speed up the process! ;)

Seriously I think I'm like Tracii, Isha and everyone else who has said it. Not many, if any at all, would recognize me fully dressed.

[MarcellaMcNul]

First of all I would not appreciate my private business being outed to everyone in the world. Where possible I'd play the "I don't know what you're talking about, it must have been someone who looks like me" card. With those who that doesn't work on I guess the ball is in their court...they can accept it and move on with whatever our relationship was prior to this "revelation" or they can go their own way and I'll go mine. Quite frankly; I would not be prone to making any apologies or taking any abuse from anyone. Unfortunately, I believe most people would prefer to talk about it behind my back rather than gaining the true perspective directly from me.

[ShelbyDawn]

I have been kind of living that since my divorce thanks to my ex; she is such a loving and supportive person(can you feel the sarcasm), who did her best to out me to everybody I know.
I have made it a point to just keep on doing what I do and the only peop-le that have even come close to mentioning it did so in a way to discredit the ex.

Life goes on around us all the time and most people don't even notice.

:hugs:

Shelby

[Aylineira]

Cameras click and bulbs flashing and all I would really be thinking is: DO I AT LEAST LOOK BEAUTIFUL???

[Sally24]

Have already outed myself to the few important people. I've already been on Boston tv when I was coming our from testifying on legislation. I am prepared but don't think it would be a major event for me.

[AZashleemarie]

I have had these worries before, but also like others have said, I do not think any of my friends would ever see a CD on tv, then be like "oh man thats (insert my name here lol)". Thats not to say I havent had worries before. I can think of two instances in particular. The most recent being photographed by a traffic camera. At first I laughed and thought this will be funny to see this pic when it comes in the mail. Then I had the worry syndrome set in and started thinking what if they have some wierd website for these pictures like the "people of walmart" and I know people who work in law enforcement, oh crap. Then I settled and was just like I'll justh have to use some BS excuse about a costume party or something. Turns out I didnt get the ticket, i went halfway through an intersection expecting a green arrow, yet i didnt get it, so once the cameras flashed and i put my head down to put the car in reverse all the cameras probably saw was a dress and a wig the covered my face since my head was totally down. I have also been seen by a friend, one who swore it was me (rightfully so) when she texted me the next day, I totally denied it. I about peed my panties when she texted me about it, but once I put up a front that I was out of town the night before, she totally bought it. The thing I have realized unless unless your caught "dead to rights" so to speak like being on your porch in a prom dress, most people do not see a cder and then think OMG that is (insert name here).

[ReneeTX]

About two months ago, I was shopping in a north Houston mall, in all my feminine glory. I was walking from Lane Bryant, around the corner to go back into Macy's. As I rounded the corner, 3 security guards were piled on top of a man who was yelling every expletive in the book. Evidently, the thief felt his civil liberties were being violated...

Like everyone else, my eyes were on the show. Suddenly, I looked up and realized I was walking between the screaming idiot and a sea of smartphones. So I pulled my phone out of my purse, turned my back to the crowd, and started filming! I figured if I was going to be on a celebrity, the safest view for me to present was my backside. :)

After that, I made my exit and prayed that I wouldn't make my debut on YouTube. No news is good news!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Nigella, Kinda been there and done that, Almost 60 years ago a couple friends and I were cutting school for the day
and we stopped to look at a truck accident and the film crew was there, Guess what, We were on the 6:00 PM NEWS that Evening.

[Nigella]

Thank you all for your responses so far, it is interesting to see such a wide range of potential solutions. They have ranged from "No-one will know me" to "Own it". It seems to highlight the amount of self confidence some people have, but also the fears that we all carry.

I guess that it should really be no different to someone being "caught" painting a landscape, after all, there is nothing illegal with what you do, just an out of the ordinary hobby for most folk :)

[Lynn Marie]

I'm divorced, retired, most of my best friends are CDs, and my gf likes my CD girlfriends and me dressed in addition to boy mode. Last summer I managed to make the front page of the Seattle Times. In the famous words of Alfred E Neuman of "Mad" magazine fame, "What, me worry"?

[PretzelGirl]

I think the risk goes with your relative level of out. I went to a town hall type of meeting with the state equality group. Walked in the auditorium and found a seat and then noticed the TV camera. Nothing to do but smile. Yea, I was a little stupid and ducked my head some when the camera panned around. But I walked out thinking that if anyone saw it (and I don't look that different), then I would own it and potentially start calling family depending on who saw it. Word of mouth travels faster than it used to. But no one ever said anything which means less people saw me on the news than have seen me shopping. :D