Self appraisal.

[Melissa18]

This question has probably been asked numerous time before on CD.com but I can't find any previous threads. So, I apologise in advance.

Recently I was at the Pub with a group of male friends, a very attractive woman walks into the bar, and my friends do the usual male thing and all attention turns to the woman and between them the usual male banter started up, commenting on how good she looks, ETC.., except for me, I keep quiet, but I am admiring her dress sense, her hairstyle and her immaculate nails. A week or so later I was invited to a wedding and i noticed myself this time spending more time talking with the ladies than with the men and of course, I was keeping an eye on the dresses, hairstyles etc.

It then got me thinking have I always been like this and I came to the conclusion that my whole life, I've always observed what the girls are wearing, hairstyles etc.
I've never been one to leer at women, It has always been to look, learn and to catch any fashion tips, and I've always had more in common with the women than men, from my earliest school days I have always felt more comfortable with with females.

Basically my question is, are these thoughts and traits quite common amongst us girls?

[Erica Grace]

Hello Adelaide,

I find myself doing the exact same thing, well both really. I can admire a girl for her fashion sense and just REALLY want to know where she got her dress, but I'll also find myself eyeing her body as well (only one of which is ever vocally expressed). Since I have started dressing a year ago I have definitely been paying more attention to the fashion side of women, especially makeup.

[NathalieX66]

Yep. ....... it happens all the time.

[ShelbyDawn]

I find myself in between...
I see a beautiful woman and comment, to myself, "Wow, she's hot and I wonder if that dress comes in my size... " :)


:hugs:

Shelby

[JessicaMN]

I am always finging myself talking to women at events like that more than the guys. Yet I still don't have a girlfriend. Go figure.

[Chari]

Adelaide, I have always observed and respected the female body, attire, makeup, hair styles, and movements beginning in grade school. During my teen years, through college, and beyond I was told by many gals that I "had a positive & natural flair for fashion", as I helped them select better colors, materials, fashions, and styles that "made them look great! It was not for the accolades or to get dates, but only to assist those that had very little color and fashion knowledge. All that still continues today. Enjoy.

[Sharon B.]

Same here will look at the actual woman after I make note of what she is wearing and wonder where she purchase it at and wonder if I would look as good in it also.

[Eryn]

When I am out in drab and a woman (beautiful or not-so) walks by wearing something interesting or attractive I do take notice. It's not so pleasant a feeling for me to realize that I will only experience that freedom in a limited sense.

[janec]

I find that I am always people watching as I call it and find myself looking at ghe outfits that the women are wearing and wonder what it would feel/ look like to wear.

[Adriana Moretti]

interesting point......and i would have to agree....i do that too ...and I am also more friendly with the gals...

[Felicia Dee]

Ditto. Across the board, ditto. Lol. ;)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Adelaide, If I didn't know better I would've been talking about me.

I always seam to find the women much more interesting to talk to.

[Amanda M]

Just the same. I always feel more comfortable with female company.

[biggirlsarah]

Also I have always found myself to be more comfortable in female company, probably because I don't have much in common with men, I have never been comfortable in male company, I find their so-called macho banter inane I don't know anything about sport so I am unable to get involved in the conversation about the latest football scores etc. So yes count me in, I also think there is a bit of jealousy in there as well.

[noeleena]

Hi,

So that difference , interesting, and this is part of that difference, apart from one miner detail as you all know i can wear many of those clothes and i know my peers tell me i can dress rather lovely and they wont and like me to, yet i still feel a bit out of it, yes even after all this time i still get that embarrassing feeling.

i wont say the clothes we wear or can are not lovely and nice to wear, some one said the lady concerned was ...hot...not being male i'd say she looks lovely so does impress many guys i think your words will or would be more detailed than mine, of cause.....

I have a friend and she is taller than i i know her Mom as well and the husband and thier kid'e and we get on very well now i know you'd say when she is dressed up ...is hot... to me she's just lovely, and she comes along to our Edwardian do's, allmost forgot her husband has a sort after moter bike , any way's,

...noeleena...

[Tami]

I am comfortable in the company of either but certainly find myself checking out clothes and the girl inside them.

[Katey888]

Yes Adelaide, yes...

But I have to confess to a combination of appraisal (as you so rightly describe) and... well... leching rather than leering... :o I know it's politically incorrect but we're only human - and sometimes masculine will out!

I've always sought the company of women over men - and found it to be quite advantageous in acquiring GFs at various times... :D

Katey x

[erickka]

I've done the look and learn thing my whole life too.

[Cheryl T]

Are these common to us...you betcha!!
Whenever I'm anywhere I am always tuned to what women are wearing and always asking myself, would that look good on me?

[Beverley Sims]

I have always leered at the womens clothes first. :)

[carhill2mn]

Yes, I have similar thoughts and feelings. While I have always appreciated feminine beauty, I always check out how she is dressed, her hair, makeup etc. For many years I have enjoyed talking to women more than most men.

[MsVal]

Yes, I can identify with your observations.

I've never been perfectly comfortable in the company of guys. I'm okay with them, I get along well, make some jokes, share some experiences, but I know deep down that I'm not really one of them. I am not at all interested in sports or taking some woman to bed. I do not like the macho attitude or boasting about things I've done, bought, or achieved.

I do have a good time in a group of women. This may be because they know that I am a man and interact accordingly, but the net takeaway is that I enjoy a group of women.

(On my most recent contract I replaced a woman in a six woman office. It was great. We talked about families, birthdays, weddings, graduations, recipes - I was accepted as one of the gals in "Chick Central".)

Guys clothing, in my opinion is Boring with a capital B. Women's stuff, however is colorful, it is sensual, it flows. Their fragrances, mannerisms, the way they talk is fascinating to me.

Best wishes
MsVal

[Laura912]

Watch and learn. In my youth, there was a close race between testosterone effects and estrogen effects! Being more comfortable with women may also explain my career selection.

[ReineD]

Adelaide and others who feel the same way, I've read many posts/threads that agree with you over the years. And I was always perplexed by the idea that CDers aren't as visually sexually attracted to women as non-CDers. Other guys are genuinely turned on by sexy women whereas it seems that a significant number of CDers are much less so, since they seem to notice and care more about the clothes, makeup, etc. In other words, there is a decreased sense of sexual attraction towards women compared to non-CDers?

When you add to this the well attended treads about having sexual thoughts about men (even if they are not acted upon), do you think that CDers are subconsciously perhaps, sexually attracted to men more than women? Or if they aren't, then might they lean more toward being asexual? Or maybe more attracted to the self as a woman? I know that everyone is individual and there can be no answer that puts everyone in the same box. But, in threads like these everyone seems to agree almost without exception.

We keep saying here that feelings of gender identity (or feelings allied to the female gender) are completely separate from a person's sexual orientation. But when I read so many people agreeing with the lack of unadulterated sexual attraction that other men feel, I wonder if this is true?

Thanks for taking the time to explore this topic in greater depth than just agreeing yes or no to the OP's post. I know this is something that perplexes many other GGs as well, and it might explain why so many GGs ask CDers if they are gay and if they want to be women.

[Jenniferathome]

Reine, allow me to be the dissenter. I'm a guy first and while maturity has allowed me to not go slack-jawed when I see a beautiful woman, I SEE the woman, not her clothes. I think the typical posters here are forgetting their first reaction since they have been this way from the time they noticed girls as a kid. Now, It may be possible that with massive loss of testosterone in older men, asexuality becomes more common, but I find it hard to believe the majority are actually that way.

[RebeccaLynne]

Yeah, I always think about her appearance, and how I'd love to look like her.

At the same time, I can relate from the male perspective as to how "hot" she is, and how I'd so like to "do" her... and have engaged in the usual male banter with my co-workers naturally emanating from our shared observation.

Case in point: yesterday a very attractive woman walked through the crew lobby, LBD and 3" heeled black pumps. All eyes focused on her as she sashayed past us. As soon as she walked out the door, the conversation began in earnest. We were all enthralled by her presentation, and discussed how sexy she was, and how we'd really jump at the opportunity to be intimate with her.

As a male, I'm intrigued by, and fascinated with, what women bring to the table. As a cross dresser, I seek to find that intrinsic desirability they seem to so naturally possess, within myself.

'K, I'll just say it... I CD 'cause it makes me feel sexy, just like those I feel sexual desire towards... I mean, two girls together... what could be better? :battingeyelashes:

[Teresa]

Jennifer I have to agree with you I'm attracted to women, I love to chat and flirt with them and the jungle juices are not letting me down yet ! Ok so the look and the clothes come into, I also think that even a non CDer has that little thought that if were a woman I'd like to look like you ! ( As in that Mel Gibson film )

[MissTee]

I see two dimensions. There are H-O-T women, and there are well dressed women. A hot woman can also be well dressed, but simply being well dressed doesn't make a woman hot.

Thus, I will admire a well dressed woman and I am proud of myself for knowing enough about female fashion (nails match outfit, purse and shoes match, etc.) to spot the effort that went into it.

Given that the little head hasn't the fashion sense of the big head, I will rarely notice anything about the clothes of an attractive woman. Her eyes, her smile, her figure . . . my thoughts go caveman.

[Cynthia Satin]

I find myself in between...
I see a beautiful woman and comment, to myself, "Wow, she's hot and I wonder if that dress comes in my size... " :)


:hugs:

Shelby

This is the way I feel too LOL! If there was an attractive gal that I ran into frequently (at school or at my office), I would often jot down what they were wearing. Not sure why I did it, but it was fun, and I would try to note very specific details (makeup, jewelry, etc).

[Wildaboutheels]

Obviously it is common here. Common to the vast majority of the "girls". But as for myself, I don't see things that way at all and never have.

But your Q [and the vast majority of the responses here thus far] DO supply another well fitting piece to this CDing puzzle that fits quite nicely with some of the other "always popular" questions. The questions that can always bring the lurkers out. I think simple denial is part of the formula for many and also a quest by many simply to have a taste of that "power" that ANY woman can get simply by making herself attractive. Which of course is THE reason that they [women] have so many more choices in clothing and why THEY spend so much time, money and effort on their appearance.

They benefit from their efforts and men don't.

[Melissa18]

Thanks to everyone who replied to my post.
It's good to see that I'm not the only one with the traits that I mentioned.
A short note on Reine's comment, I've always been different to my male friends and even my brothers, I just feel that I didn't/don't have the same amount of testosterone flowing through me, but I am thoroughly hetero?
Adelaide

[trisha kobichenko]

I am ALWAYS looking at beautiful women and thinking 'I could wear that!'

[Marcelle]

Hi Adelaide,

Okay, this gal is not going to lie. Sometimes when I see a very attractive woman in public, my lizard brain processes like a guy and that is all . . . sorry I am after all human :naughty. However, more times than naught, I do find myself examining what she is wearing and thinking Isha would like to try that look or those are really cute shoes. Funny thing now is that when I am with by GG friends who know about Isha, whether I am en boy or en girl, they always ask my opinion now about their clothes . . . I guess I have breached a divide of sorts. :battingeyelashes:

Hugs

Isha

[donnalee]

I love pretty women; it's such a pleasure to see them, especially around late spring when the weather warms up and they start wearing sundresses. Growing up in the '50s with 2 older sisters I was taught to be courteous to women; also at that time a gentleman was supposed to know enough about fashion and women's clothes to at least hold an intelligent conversation with a woman about it. It turned out that I had a good eye for what really looks good on women. I often bought my SO clothes because I knew what looked good on her and she took me with her when she was clothes shopping as she trusted my opinion. In fact, the way she dressed was a major reason she attracted me in the first place. As to "hot", That kind of talk in front of a woman would be grounds for immediate ejection from the joint in which it occurred.

[mariehart]

Only last Saturday. I was at a hotel with my wife. We happened to be sitting in the lobby when a wedding party passed. Every dress attracted a comment and we both agreed that the blue dresses of the bridesmaids were not to our taste. We didn't get to see the bride though. That's always been the case with me. While I would agree with Jennifer's comment that there has to be an element of sexual attraction. But they are separate things even when younger. For example I was always interested in what my sisters wore not least because we had similar tastes.

It isn't just the clothes though. Like others I'm more comfortable in the company of women whether they be attractive or not. The few male friends I keep are not typical of men either. When I'm with a group of men. I try to join in with mixed results. With women it's easy. My worst case scenario is to go to a function and find just one desperate looking man surrounded by women. There's no escape when that happens. But I'm never good company for him.

[Laura912]

Agree with Jennifer. But at this older age, the testosterone phase of the analysis is shorter and the estrogen phase longer.