Has cross-dressing ever not cut it for you.

[Kelly Greene]

I haven't been cding for the past several months, not because I don't honestly feel that my body and gender are mismatched. The feeling I have been having run along the lines of trying fit feminine elements into my every day life instead of experiencing femininity occasionally on the weekends. I still feel that my body and gender are at odds with each other. The problem is taking hours to get outfit, wig, and makeup all together is not providing me with the stress relief that it used to. Has anyone else felt like this from time to time?

[NathalieX66]

Just do what you want to do. Problem solved. No one is judging anybody.

[Adriana Moretti]

i get bored with it from time to time.....that happens....it always comes around again though eventually ...maybe take a breather...see how you feel...

[Tracii G]

A lot tend to over think their situation and get all stressed out over changes in feelings or needs.
It happens to everybody I would suppose.Do what makes you happy.

[Erica Marie]

I think it is how some of us evolve or how we come to terms with our feelings. I am in the same situation as you. For me to dress up, add all the things it takes for a transformation seems like Im only wearing a costume and that I still cant just be who I want to be. I am like you and slowly adding things to everyday life to be a bit more gender fluid.

[darla_g]

There are certainly times that i have dressed and when i did not like what i saw looking back in the mirror. If that was the regular result I suppose I could quit CDing in a second. In fact i have looked at some of the pictures of myself from a few years ago and i am apalled. Now a days i dress and always take lots of pictures so i can refine the process. For me that is a joy in both getting to dress and constantly trying to improve my look. When it stops being fun I will certainly quit.

[sherri]

While I have managed over the years to cultivate a number of rather superficial friendships as Sherri, I went through a period of disillusionment when deeper relationships did not materialize. Or maybe it was frustration, but regardless, it was off-putting and a definite curb of my enthusiasm and activity. Thing is, I stilled carried Sherri around with me all the time anyway. Sooo, I sorta worked through all that.


Still, there are times, as others have mentioned, when I get annoyed that I'm not prettier, or thinner, or younger, or ... well, you know. I've let it get to me a few times, but again, it doesn't change who or what I am. None of this has ever made me not want my femme self or my femme expression, but it has caused me to regroup a few times.

[Anna H]

Sure, I have. I've fit a lot of my girly details into everyday life, and they
help a Lot keeping me happy. But there are days when I have distractions
and have less interest.

It's all balance and works toward getting the guy things done in the
best way possible.

But...the time will be back. It always is. It'll be better and more interesting
and there's always something new to try. When CD interests dim down, I
just go ahead and take advantage of those times....and get no-fun guy stuff
out of the way. Then it's not a nagging problem when doll-time comes
back around. And it most assuredly will be back....:)

[Shari]

I'm in that valley right now, even to the point of thinking of purging everything I own.
I keep reading this forum to reassure me that it will indeed all come back and deep down I know it will. In the meantime I'll just wait until that time comes and all my clothing and accessories will still be there for my fulfillment.
The fog always returns.

[Celeste]

Seems we are always searching for a good balance on this journey. I feel like right now,I'm on a part of that journey where the desire isn't there ,but that's OK because that balance is ever-changing and evolving.When I look back,I remember other times in my life where my interest faded.Back then, I threw all my things out which was really silly...I'd never do that now ,I'd at least offer them to another girl.I guess I've learned a bit about patience through all of this.

[Tanya+]

My first corset has just arrived..and i'm not in the mood, i know I would enjoy wearing it, but i'm going to wait until i really want it. It is funny, i am enjoying the absence of desire, but i also miss it too. I certainly will never purge again, as long as i have storage room.

[Teresa]

Hi Kelly,
I think Kate H. is right do the boy stuff and get it out the way, I've chopped a load of logs this morning so I'm happy now to dress and look at my broken fingernails, maybe makeup and wig are a chore so I give it a miss, I'm not going anywhere.

[kimdl93]

Maybe you've made it too hard for yourself. Even when I'm going all out, I would guess it takes me tops 45 minutes to get made up and dressed. If you're limited in time and just seeking to escape from a male façade, you don't have to go to extremes. Just do the things that make your insides and out feel connected again and relax.

[mariehart]

Yes I can relate to that. In fact lately I've been going through very similar thoughts. I think both of us are in a similar position. I can't transition either and I use CDing as a release sometimes. It isn't just about the clothes and the dressing up. It's about expressing myself as I am rather than maintaining the male persona all the time. Only this morning I reminded myself that wasn't necessary to keep that up anymore.

I never fully CD anymore. Most often I just underdress. But I do think it's necessary sometimes to fully express myself by dressing completely. The other day I realised I had the time and opportunity to dress but really didn't feel like the hassle of it. But then I thought that's exactly when I should dress. After all isn't that what my life would be like if I lived as a woman. In that situation there is no such thing as not feeling like it. It isn't about stress relief. It's just normality.

So when I got home. I did dress and spent the rest of the morning bustling about doing my chores until it was time to go out at which point I had to remind myself that it was time to change. Now it was the reverse. I really didn't want to hassle of dressing up as a man.

So my view now is that the time to dress is exactly when you don't feel like it. For us it's not a treat but a very necessary part of our lives. Certainly, like you I am working to fit feminine elements into my life or more to the point reduce my masculine façade. But is that enough? I don't think so. More is needed sometimes. We can't transition so we're denied the opportunity to relate to people as women full time. So we have to find a way. As you know it's not so much about how you look as how you feel.

My suggestion would be for you is to CD, exactly when you don't feel like it just to see how it feels. I found it useful. Of course we both know what we really need but it's not a viable option for either of us.

Give it a try.

[KayleeDahl]

I think a lot of people have answered similarly above. For me its about balance - and the method of achieving that balance may not be the same right now as it always has for you.

The more integrated my life is, ie: having toes painted all the time, the less I feel the need to dress up fully to achieve balance. Basically the painted toes, rings, hair, girl jeans etc. (not always worn all at once) allow me to not feel a little bit girly all the time, and helps me achieve balance. Which leads to more fun girl mode time, because i'm already centered, not using the dressing to try and pull me back to center.

Hugs!

[Georgina]

No. I dress every day after work, without wig or make up, and I always enjoy it.

[Nadine Spirit]

Kelly-

It seems as though some posters have misinterpreted your question. I totally get what you are saying in that cross dressing not cutting it. I felt similar in that being able to cross dress occasionally just did not satiate the feelings. I have no intention of transitioning,nor do I think I am actually a woman inside. For me, I feel as though I am somewhere in between; potentially gender fluid. What has helped me is doing what you are talking about. I mix in a variety of traditionally feminine things into my male world. This is what helps me to come closer to feeling some sort of balance. I am not interested in living a life as a woman, but I do enjoy wearing my fingernails painted, any color, while in either mode. For me, going from totally boy 90% of the time to as girly as I could 10% of my life was too bipolar, and it wasn't really me. Me is somewhere in the middle. And I like it there.

[Christyheely]

I also feel gender fluid and can relate but my balance lies in two things. I dress more metro sexual as a guy and I plan my outings in girl mode carefully so I have lots of time to get ready and enjoy it. I haven't felt cross dressing hasn't cut it in a long time now that I found my own balance.

[audreyinalbany]

LIke many, I suppose I have a love/hate relationship with my cross dressing. There's plenty of times when I just wish the urge to dress would disappear; when it does, I look forward to it coming back

[Tina_gm]

I think for me a lot of it has to do with time. And lately I have had very little of it. with exception to today. A month ago I did have a lot of extra time to dress and did so more frequently and longer than my normal dressing time. Lately I have been very busy with "life" and then with what little time I have available, I just don't seem to be in the mood as much. I am tired and somewhat stressed, and it just hasn't been there as much for me lately. Today is a nice break from that though, and I am dressed for a bit today. Not looking like the next few months is going to be much different than the last month, which I already know is happening. Will just roll with life and what it is offering.

[Beverley Sims]

Kelly I wonder are you young and have you recently entered a new relationship.

The key elements in what ails you. :)

[Cheryl T]

i get bored with it from time to time.....that happens....it always comes around again though eventually ...maybe take a breather...see how you feel...


I don't get bored with it...I get frustrated. All the extras that I need ... the wig, the padding, the forms. I just wish they weren't add-ons, but mine. And the biggest frustration is Shaving my face....I wish I had done laser years ago.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Kelly, Some Evenings I am just too tired to get dressed but the urge to dress is always there.