Calling all Newbies and also the LBs

[Wildaboutheels]

LBs as in Late Bloomers... Your current age or when you started dressing does not matter.

My guess is that ONLY those of you who started dressing in the last couple of years are likely to remember. Remember "life" before you were a CDer?

One of the most common themes here is fear of being busted/NOT "passing" while out in the RW. Any of you remember "scrutinizing"/trying to bust anyone wearing a dress or any other "female" attire when you were out in the RW.

Probably not BEFORE you started dressing?

But now that you have joined the party you do? Gotta keep an eye out for "sistas" because that is what CDers do.

Only now do you actively "look for" big hands or feet. Both of which GGs can have. Or a deep voice. GGs can have that too. Too tall? I see plenty of tall GGs in Florida. Awkward mannerisms? Dressed "inappropriately". [in your opinion] GGs can have those too.

I am speaking of the vast majority here who dress to blend in. Isn't it likely that the ONLY people likely to notice are other CDers?

Of course fear of being spotted by friends or coworkers is another matter entirely.

Or is it? They are not likely to notice either are they? Unless the CDer in question is wobbling around on spiky 6" heels wearing an International Orange micro mini skirt in the produce isle at the grocery store?

IF you are perfectly happy in the closet, cool. Most CDers are happy that way. But IF you want out, isn't it silly to let irrational fear stop you?

[Jaylyn]

I'm comfortable with staying at home but in the closet at home. I probably would be the one with the 6" heels though if I was out. I love the skimpy clothes the tall heels and too much makeup. Kinda like the song I like my women just a little on the trashy side (wife excluded).... Lol fear is not my problem if I were in the right town at the right time and knew I would be safe it just might happen.... Where does one find a orange micro mini.... Lol

[franlee]

We all tend to be overly self-conscious and in a state of hyperawareness when dress much-less out in the RW. Not that some in the RW wont notice you but interaction is in most cases up to you. Keep you confidence as high as possible and if a bump in the road should jar you, don't stop to fill it in, Keep on going.

[Adriana Moretti]

I love this thread........and the best line is......


One of the most common themes here is fear of being busted/NOT "passing" while out in the RW. Any of you remember "scrutinizing"/trying to bust anyone wearing a dress or any other "female" attire when you were out in the RW.

Dance like nobody is watching.......

[mickey4353]

its very hard in todays society

[MsVal]

Hmmm... I guess that I'm doing it backward.

There are so many gals here that fret that they don't look feminine enough that they've got me believing that even if I tried very hard, I'd never pass.

So I began looking at women, not to spot the crossdresser, but to see if I can detect the minimum amount of feminine appearance necessary to pass as a woman. What I found is very interesting. Among the 60+ crowd in my local area, there are very few really attractive women, and a somewhat larger group of unattractive women. There is, of course a very large group of average looking women. So I came away with the belief that as long as I didn't look like a circus clown or a senior age stripper I'd have no trouble blending.

Best wishes
MsVal

[Laura28]

I have been dressing most of my life off and in but in the past only undergarments no makeup etc. In the past few years I am fully engaged. Multiple wigs makeup cloths and more undergarments then I count. Before I was "engaged" in dressing I use to always look for CDs and would spot them some would take a while before they gave it away. I would show my wife and this is why I love her she would say if u dressed full on you would look better. I think I was looking for them because I was jealous and wanted to dress full on. Now I look for them and say wow she looks great wish I had the courge to go out.

[Beverley Sims]

I rarely played spot the CD I was too busy enjoying myself.
I always looked at girls to see where my next fashion statement would come from.
When by myself, "irrational fear" did strike.

Being busted was an early fear, as the years passed so it diminished.

[Stephanie47]

There are a lot of people who are really great at facial recognition. There are others who couldn't pick out their mate in a crowd. Sure, there are tall women. There are women with broad shoulders. Etc, etc, etc. Throw several attributes together and presto that human computer is just as good at facial recognition as the security (NSA) camera at Times Square or the airport. Over and over again it's not so much a lot of us do not blend and are ID as a man attired as a woman, it's the potential bad outcomes society throws at us.

I get really tired of comments made to just throw caution to the wind and basically strut your stuff. Hopefully not too many lives have been damaged taking such advice.

[Katey888]

Among the 60+ crowd in my local area, there are very few really attractive women, and a somewhat larger group of unattractive women. There is, of course a very large group of average looking women. So I came away with the belief that as long as I didn't look like a circus clown or a senior age stripper I'd have no trouble blending.


So MsVal, you're saying my orange wig, red nose and PVC chaps can go back to Amazon..? Shucks - and there was I planning to hit the mall this weekend... :cry:

On a serious - and hopefully not too judgemental - note, I'm having to agree with you; perhaps a slightly different perspective on the 40-50+ crowd, but I've noted this before - blending shouldn't actually be too difficult - and Wild has hit a lot of the hot buttons on this subject... From a personal POV, I don't know whether the irrational fear would win out (that is why, after all, it is irrational..) but at present, with my closeted status, it is not the first obstacle... but like Jaylyn, I'm cool with that.. for now... :cool:

Good thread, Wild... and Ms Val - I laughed at your post like a drunken drain... :roflmao:

Katey x

[Ressie]

Some of the fear (for some) is caused by knowing we don't really pass close up. So you've been spotted as a CD by someone that thinks it's totally weird or immoral. No biggie to me unless it's someone I work with, a family member or others that know me as my male self. I don't have much desire to dress in public anyway.

[Denise69]

".. Where does one find a orange micro mini.... Lol[/QUOTE]
You might try the Irving mall, in Irving tx, if you're close by.

[NicoleScott]

IF you are perfectly happy in the closet, cool. Most CDers are happy that way. But IF you want out, isn't it silly to let irrational fear stop you?

Irrational fear doesn't stop me - it's rational fear that stops me.

[Martha G]

Yep! I was a late bloomer!

First dress at age 59. And WHAT a dress! A large hoopskirt (115") with satin, very lacey pantellettes underneath!

But I am a costumer character developer and most of my CDing is done at parties where you need wear a costume.

Since developing a female character at age 59, I found it to be fun and have continued developing female characters along with my male ones.

I never did any CDing before but often I did think that it would be fun. Maybe it was dormant? Who knows?

But having a great time since I tried it. This year at my Halloween event my costumer is making me up as a beautiful witch.

I love wearing large hoopskirts. I thoroughly enjoy costuming as a female character.

[RachelCross]

I live in the Midwest and I would have to believe more than just another CD'er would notice me. I am only guessing though as I have never gone out. To say or ask "isn't it silly to let irrational fear stop you" is, I feel, a bit irrational in itself. Fear is a relative thing, some people are deathly afraid of heights while others are not. Some people hate public speaking while others thrive in front of an audience, I could go on and on. While it obvious that any fear about coming out may seem irrational to you is quite real to others, including myself. Dressing, at this point for me, is new (I feel like an awkward teenager and awkward teenagers are very self conscious) so those fears are very real to me. Now, once I blossom and own my femme side the fears MAY go away but they may not.