Secret Drawer
03-25-2014, 02:42 PM
Certain “truths”
I have been a reading member of this site since 2007 and a lurker for a good year before that. There have been many great threads and sage advice to be found throughout the years and some profound moments as well.
I was doing some writing as self therapy and was putting to paper some of the things I have learned here. Based on how many times these questions come up and how people generally respond, there are certain “common” truths that appear over and over:
Here are a few of them, in no specific order:
If you have any chance whatsoever to come out of the closet (to whomever) it is better for your own well being, both mentally and often even physically, to do so. Those who cannot due to whatever circumstances they find themselves in, are likely to eventually be negatively effected via ones mental/ physical health.
Because...
For the overwhelming majority of us, this “thing” does not go away. In fact, it seems that it will only continue to wear you down as you tempt to suppress it. The sage advice from this site is first you must learn to accept yourself, and in so doing, accept that we have this “extra feature” and that we are not perverted weirdos (Well, maybe! But not due to our gender issues)
The last thing I am going to add is the fear thing. If you fear going out into the world because of what people will say or do, it is truly mostly in our heads! From nearly every out and about story over ca.8 years (and my own experience) the following is consistently standard fare:
People are first unlikely to notice at all, second, unlikely to care at all, or third, even if curious or callous, will be more of an inconvenience then a real problem. The sage advice has been to dress appropriately for the occasion and do what the natives do! (act naturally). If the fear is for your personal safety, I always think that while we must remain diligent and cautious, I would rather be outed then killed, so have a cell phone and call the police if you feel threatened. (Do what a GG would do!) and stay away from seedy places!
These ideas of “truth” come from years and years of what the majority of folk here have said in response to certain questions or lines of thought. There are no definitives in life, and there always will be those who don't fit the framework. YET, it does not make these ideas any less true! And of course, there are probably many others that can be added to this short list.
I have been a reading member of this site since 2007 and a lurker for a good year before that. There have been many great threads and sage advice to be found throughout the years and some profound moments as well.
I was doing some writing as self therapy and was putting to paper some of the things I have learned here. Based on how many times these questions come up and how people generally respond, there are certain “common” truths that appear over and over:
Here are a few of them, in no specific order:
If you have any chance whatsoever to come out of the closet (to whomever) it is better for your own well being, both mentally and often even physically, to do so. Those who cannot due to whatever circumstances they find themselves in, are likely to eventually be negatively effected via ones mental/ physical health.
Because...
For the overwhelming majority of us, this “thing” does not go away. In fact, it seems that it will only continue to wear you down as you tempt to suppress it. The sage advice from this site is first you must learn to accept yourself, and in so doing, accept that we have this “extra feature” and that we are not perverted weirdos (Well, maybe! But not due to our gender issues)
The last thing I am going to add is the fear thing. If you fear going out into the world because of what people will say or do, it is truly mostly in our heads! From nearly every out and about story over ca.8 years (and my own experience) the following is consistently standard fare:
People are first unlikely to notice at all, second, unlikely to care at all, or third, even if curious or callous, will be more of an inconvenience then a real problem. The sage advice has been to dress appropriately for the occasion and do what the natives do! (act naturally). If the fear is for your personal safety, I always think that while we must remain diligent and cautious, I would rather be outed then killed, so have a cell phone and call the police if you feel threatened. (Do what a GG would do!) and stay away from seedy places!
These ideas of “truth” come from years and years of what the majority of folk here have said in response to certain questions or lines of thought. There are no definitives in life, and there always will be those who don't fit the framework. YET, it does not make these ideas any less true! And of course, there are probably many others that can be added to this short list.