Jilted admirer is emailing, calling names, angry. Bad sport.

[Alice Torn]

A few days ago, i had a thread about deciding not to meet an aggressive admirer. He blsted me with angry emails that day. Now, several days later, he has strted sending more. I just delete them, and don't open them. i can see from the first two or three words, that he is name calling, accusing, yada yada yada. I may have to deactivate that email site, because it does bother me, if a person does not stop sending them.

[mechamoose]

Most mail programs allow you to filter out email based on a few rules.. like sender or certain key words (like bad ones).

Set that up and you will never have to look at them again.

What are you using for your email access, dear?

- MM

[Ezekiel]

This is probably proof that you infact did well in not meeting him. Like mechamoose said, filter the emailing and you won't have to worry again about him.

[Alice Torn]

Moose, I am on yahoo.

[giuseppina]

Maybe a complaint to your email provider is in order. I somehow doubt harassment is allowed under the terms of service.

If that fails, maybe a no-contact restraining order or the local equivalent will work.

You need evidence of bad behavior before the courts will impose an order against the harasser.

[mechamoose]

http://help.yahoo.com/qe/my/tutorials/mmail/mm_filter1.html

PM me if you want help.

<3

- MM

[Beverley Sims]

Alice it is necessary to cover your tracks and sever relationships sometimes.
Always take care on the information you disseminate.

[MsVal]

I see the irony.

It's not all prettiness and perfume in the feminine experience. Aren't these are the kind of things that GGs have to deal with?

Good advice about setting up email rules. I use them to route things to a separate folder that I may occasionally scan briefly, looking for things that got mis-filed, prior to deleting them all.

Best wishes
MsVal

[Alice Torn]

Usually, it has been me suffering rejection, from GGs. Now, the shoe is on the other foot, and i feel what many women go through, from rejected angry men! i have been on both sides, but i learned a long time ago, not to keep pushing.

[Princess Grandpa]

I am really glad you didn't meet him. I'm thinking he might not have taken no for an answer

Hug
Rita

[Zylia]

Ugh, guys are such pigs ;) But yes, delete, ignore, filter/block if necessary. He obviously crossed the line by calling you names, but I assume he will run out of steam eventually if you keep ignoring him. If he only has your e-mailadress and a few photos, there's not much to worry about, provided you're careful with sharing that information elsewhere online.

[LenGray]

It sounds like it was a good thing that you didn't go meet him! I would use block or just send all of his stuff to spam mail. If he's still bugging you after that inform your email carrier or the authorities. It's always better to be safe than sorry, in my personal experience. :)

And MsVal, these are indeed the things that GG's have to deal with lol Sadly it isn't always just over the internet either. Men, like the one Alice seems to be dealing with, seem to equate the fairer sex with the weaker sex and act abominably because of it. It causes quite a few problems, though that may just be my own jadedness speaking ;)

[mikiSJ]

Don't delete the emails. You may need them to substantiate something in future.

[Eryn]

If the harrasser has no link to you other than email you should just let the storm pass. Taking other action will give him more information about you and increase the danger. Your email provider will be of little help as they just pass the messages along. Filter the harasser's email and move on.

[Katey888]

Alice, I also am glad you did not go ahead with your meeting.

What you have observed here is probably quite typical - especially so of the 'admirers' that we have... I rather hope that this has been a learning experience for you and all who might be tempted into any ill-conceived meetings, or for relaxing the very sensible rules you had talked about earlier. :)

And Len, I don't believe it's your jadedness - it is just people in general and a certain type of guy, I'm afraid - sad, but wholly predictable in many ways...

Alice - please continue to be careful - kill the email account; it's not like it's hard to get another!

Katey x

[ReineD]

It's not all prettiness and perfume in the feminine experience. Aren't these are the kind of things that GGs have to deal with?

It sounds as if you are speaking generally for GGs and the answer is No. This is not the norm. Most GGs know to not put themselves in this sort of situation.

Alice, I'm so glad that you decided to not meet him.

[Cheryl T]

Just add him to the spam folder and block him and thank your stars that you did not go on that meet....

[NicoleScott]

Aren't these are the kind of things that GGs have to deal with?


Yes, and GM's, and all other categories of people. Let's not pretend that it's just men who bombard women (and TG's) with unwanted, harassing e-mails and texts.

[Helen_Highwater]

I was struck by the timescales in your original post. From what you say it was only just over a week from start to (bad) end. Would it be more prudent should you be contacted in the future by an admirer to slow the process down, lengthen the timescales, "can't meet this week, work/family commitments", that sort of thing. Those that are sincere will tend to stay the course but d**kheads like the one you encountered are likely to tire and go away of their own accord. And you get more opportunity to truly gauge the person you're dealing with.
Regarding the picture. Has anyone explored having a first meet via video call? Getting a picture, lets face it, he could send anyone's photo, is no guarantee of honesty but a video call which can be recorded provides hard evidence if your "gentleman" then proves to be a violent thug. Here Mr Policeman, that's what he looks like. Just my thoughts on keeping safe.

[Jenny Elwood]

I prefer to steer clear of all T-lover's and the like. I don't feel comfortable being the object of another man's fantasies.

[MatildaJ.]

Two other thoughts that come to mind:

1) Once you stop replying to a jerk's messages, make sure you never send him another word in any form. If you do, it just teaches the stalker that it takes, say, three months of daily emails before you'll write back. (Or it takes direct threats, or it takes whatever it was that got under your skin and got you to respond).

2) Read Gavin de Becker's Gift of Fear. It's well-written and he has really good suggestions for how to predict (and avoid) dangerous people, and how to know when someone is so dangerous that it's worth disrupting your life to get away.

[michellekhoo]

Well said Eryn. Filter the mail to spam, then let the storm ride. This jerk will find someone else to focus his attention on soon.


If the harrasser has no link to you other than email you should just let the storm pass. Taking other action will give him more information about you and increase the danger. Your email provider will be of little help as they just pass the messages along. Filter the harasser's email and move on.

[Annaliese]

You sure called that one right by not going out with him, you can block a person, I did it once, I had e-mailed my fem box from my male box, and it link my fem face book to my male face book. So I block my self. I found it out fast enough I don't think there was any damage. Finger crossed. This was a few years ago

[Alice Torn]

Thanks all of you for the good ideas. I must admit. Some of this was truly my giving in to out of control Pink Fog, and i sent the manmany photos, leading him on, yet, telling him my boundries. So, i was wrong in sending him too many photos. I wanted tomeet him, but, he, like lothers, kept pushing the envelope, and my boundries. Finally, i cut it off.

[MsVal]

Reine and Nicole, you are right. Thank you for catching it. In the effort to be very brief I wrote something that is an inaccurate generalization.

Best wishes
MsVal

[Adriana Moretti]

hope he dosent know you post here.......cause now he knows where you will be Sat night.......

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?211629-Talked-to-a-gay-club-owner-today.-I-am-welcome-there!

[Alice Torn]

Adriana, I don't think he knows about his site. i never mentioned it, and i met him on a different type site.

[Nicole Erin]

He probably will get bored and move on. Just do not contact him back.
On the other hand - something like this may happen - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otG4G1xI39U