Repressed myself for 5 years.

[emily_21]

I first joined this site after years of CD'ing, in the winter of 2009, but by spring 2009, I ended up losing all interest in CD'ding from then on up until recently. I feel like I am starting all over again, anyone else have long periods like this?

[Jenny Elwood]

After my wife caught me, I also spent the next five years totally repressing it and another 2 years repressing on and off. It made me depressed, stressed and distant to my wife and kids. It got to the point where I did not want to live any more, and I am not a depressed person by nature. We've worked something out now where I can get dressed every so often, I'm not depressed any more, and at this very moment I am happily dressed:battingeyelashes::)

[Katey888]

Yes Emily,

I think partial self-suppression but also home environment, pressures of work, kids growing up, etc. - had about a 6-7 year hiatus when it may have crossed my mind (no pun intended :)) but it would have been virtually impossible to do without a high risk of discovery, outing and all the concomitant issues that may come with that... Other things were more important and it just felt the right thing not to do it..

I think I've been fortunate in a way that the internal pressure for me to CD is a lot less than other folks here, but the feeling came back around 4 or 5 years ago, slowly and at a low level at first, but has moved on quite progressively in the past 8-9 months... I can understand why that has probably happened, but it still seems strange to experience it. Still, I'm enjoying it more than I used to, so hey-ho, on we go... :D

Katey x

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Emily, I have been there, I don't think I can say for sure that the feelings were ever gone completely, but I had a period of around 12 years where I didn't dress. Like Katey said, a multitude of reasons probably all added up to keep it supressed. Before that I had a few other fairly long intervals, of at least a couple years. Each time I returned to CD'ing though, the feelings, and my desire to take it a step further, be more "passable", step outside, became stronger and stronger.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[CynthiaD]

I suppressed it for many years. Then one day I realized that by doing so I had lost the best part of myself. It drove me half crazy. Thank God I came to my senses.

[Adriana Moretti]

I have gone through that too.....I wanted to see if I could be a "typical" guy, have a girlfriend, do guy stuff,maybe get married etc....I found it boring...I am much more happier now too

[Allison2006]

For the last couple of months I haven't felt much like dressing, and I've really only worn lingerie to bed occasionally. Haven't been on the forum at all either, until today. I'm also fully dressed today for the first time in ages! :)

[Chari]

Whether it is for a few days, a few weeks or months and even years, being "repressed" must be a part of all of us. IMO, it is always best to be comfortable and confident in who we are, no matter how we are presenting. It works for me. Enjoy.

[Mz Jenna J.]

I think a lot of us go through that, where we dont dress for a period of time. We tell ourselves that hey...I dont need to do this. But we do. I know for a fact!:) I'll go for long periods of time not dressing up. So yeah, I definately hear what you're saying. But what it comes down to is this: We love dressing! And it's ok! I may not do it daily but it's a part of me. I've come to accept it. And glad I did!

[Tina_gm]

No long periods now that I am actively dressing. When I was in denial and repression for about 30 years after I first felt the desire, there would be frequently weeks and sometimes months where I would not think about it or feel a desire to. Lately due to being very busy, while I think about it some, my desire has waned a bit. Just so much else going on right now. Hopefully when life gets less hectic in a few months, I suspect that will likely change.

[Anna H]

I had to just plain forget it for about 5 years when we had to move
and I took a new job. I remembered it from time to time, but there
was no way to do it.

Then for about 5 years after that, I got to feeling Really depressed
and knew what was missing, but still...work kept it from happening.

I'm Amazed I went that long. It just all blended together as a blur, and
this past year, I got back to my 'normal' self. I felt 1000% better and
brand new and the world was good and exciting again. With Lots to
look forward to. :happy:

If I'd had to go another year or so, I doubt I would have made it.

Now it's more like rainbows full of little baby unicorns and butterflies.
--Or whatever is in vogue at the moment...LOL!

[Wildaboutheels]

Repression?

Versus not "needing to" or needing to a LOT less.

Just as surely as the tides, it has remained the same story for me for 40 years. When ALLLLLLLL aspects of my Relationship/s were "going well", I "dressed" a lot less. Or not at all.

Many threads and responses also confirm that it's the same for the vast majority of CDers. At least most of the ones under 50ish.

BUT...just so you know, we are not allowed to go "there" with questions.

[Teresa]

Hi Emily,
I don't know if I'm the lucky one or the unlucky one but I've never had to take a break or wanted to and I certainly couldn't go years because I've always put myself under so much pressure Cding had to be there to take the stress away. The only repression was wanting to come out more !

[Kiva]

I did 10 years of denial, and/or repression. It didn't take.

[MarcellaMcNul]

I seem to be on a gently undulating, invisible crossdressing roller coaster ride. Over the years it has ranged from total regression where I thought I had "grown out of it" for long ( or short) periods of time, to being so consumed by it that coming out to friends,neighbors and family seemed only natural and logical, then having the pink roller car pass it's peak and begin the descent down the back side again.

At this stage of my life the peaks and valleys have smoothed out considerably and I won't be coming out publicly any time soon, at least not any civilians such as family and especially not my nosy neighbors! I am however, looking forward to possibly developing social contacts with other members in my area.

[Beverley Sims]

Went into regression when the children were residing at home.....
Then freedom came. :)

[Melissa in SE Tn]

Emily, yes it does happen with sometimes long periods of hibernation. I admittedly was a fetish dresser as a young teenager. All desires "disappeared " when college , college girls & marriages were experienced. It has been a 40 + year hibernation cycle for me . Now I find myself completely immersed in cd thought & dress. Therefore, yes there are cd hibernation cycles and I am a living proof of such. The moral of the story is, once the bear has woken up , go out and dress . Peace, mel

[Karren H]

I had a dry spell that lasted almost a decade..... ended up being a medical condition.. once that was under control my crossdressing came back with a vengence!

[sometimes_miss]

Back when I was married, I had stopped dressing up for many years. That ended with divorce and all the pressures involved. Last year I stopped in May, and it lasted until yesterday, when I found a box with a dress in it that I had never opened, buried under a pile of other boxes with computer equipment in them. Couldn't resist. Oh well. Tried my best. Ten months. Not bad.....