Talked to a gay club owner today. I am welcome there!

[Alice Torn]

I emailed, and phone messages the only gay club in this area, today. The owner returned my call, and we had a cordial talk. I plan on going tomy first club of any kind soon, to have a drink, watch, maybe sing karaoke, and most of all, to dance! Even if i have to dance on the floor alone. I am not gay, but want to find a safe place to be Alice. I hope to go on Saturday night around 8pm. If it goes ok, i may go back. I will bring earplugs, as i expect the music to be way loud, and not my kind of music, but will see how it goes. I will be nervous, going alone.

[Rachael Leigh]

Hay Alice, really like your new avitar

[Zylia]

That's a great idea! I've been to gay clubs (the non-sleazy kind), but never cross-dressed and never to pick up other guys :D Ah well, maybe someday. I do hope you like it!

[sherri]

That's great news. Did he tell you about the initiation for first-timers?

[Alice Torn]

Zylia, It is a sleazy part of town, but the place has been remodeled. I don't expect gat guys to hit much on me. I am concerned about sleazy admirers possible hitting on me, especially if i wear an attractive dress, hose and heels! Pink Fof has hit me hard lately, and I had better be very careful. The owner says that other CD;s usually hit his club Friday and Saturday nights. It could be a bad experience, and it may be ok. I am 59, still look pretty good dolled up. maybe i better keep my dress or skirt knee length or lower this first time. If guys hit on me, i hope they are not creepy.

[Jamiegirl1]

I am so happy for you,you will have a great time!

[Alice Torn]

Initiation Sherri? If they try that, i will have to let my inner John Wayne loose.

[sherri]

Well just listen to your bad self! You go gurl! I bet you have a great time. Get on the owner and bartender's good side, they'll watch out for you and introduce you to people. Be sure to tip the bartender well. They do tend to play some atrocious music sometimes. You might consider going early, before the crowd gets there and the music gets loud. Sometimes that's my favorite time, just a few of us there, sitting at the bar and chatting and laughing. By the time the crowd hits you'll have a drink or two under your belt and be loosened up to mingle. And don't fret about unwanted advances -- go ahead and wear something cute and clubby, nobody's gonna get out of line.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Awesome !

[Julogden]

Alice, there are support groups in the Chicago area and I'd strongly urge you to consider joining one or both. You'd be amazed at how helpful they can be, and you'll make friends with others like you.

Carol

[DW]

Been there, done that! Had a GREAT TIME!! Am Not passable, so everyone knew I was a guy. Nobody cared, everyone had a great evening!
Go, Have fun!!

[Connie.Marie]

Alice,
I've been to many gay bars dressed and have never had a problem. I usually go for the drag show. I've found that it's also a great place to plan to meet other gurls. I'm sure you'll have a wonderful night. Be sure to post & tell us all about it..

Hugs, Connie Marie

[PaulaQ]

I hope you have a wonderful time Alice, and I expect that you will. Honestly, if you do meet any appreciators, they are liable to be way less sleazy than dudes on Craig's List who won't show their faces.

Even if you don't meet anyone like that, you ought to have a blast!

[Tracii G]

I hope you have a good time and give us a full report on how it goes.

[Rhonda Ann]

Hey Alice, I myself have just started going out, in a very similar situation as yours. A few weeks ago I called a gay club and asked if the welcomed crossdressers. He (just happened to be one of the two owners) assured me all would be fine and that everyone is welcomed and there would be no problems. As you, I am not gay, even though I have several gay friends and now even more. I have never felt so welcomed in a place as I do there. You will have an awesome time and you are starting a new adventure, I wish you the best and I know you will be meeting several new friends. You go gurl, and have the time of your life.

[I Am Paula]

You will have a wonderful time. Don't worry that your not gay. You won't have to prove it at the door. If you do get hit on, take it as a compliment, and say no thank you.
Now go and shake your booty!

[kimdl93]

Have a great time Alice. Just enjoy having a safe place to be yourself.

[Katey888]

Sounds like a much better idea than the last one, Alice...

I hope you have a great time and let us know how it goes.. :)

Katey x

[Alice Torn]

Thanks for the support, and advice everyone. Being a child of an alcoholic, and being rather addictive, I am on slippery ground where alcohol is served, so I need to keep it at two drinks, and no more, period! I really don't like bars, or clubs. Loud music and alcohol, i don't like.The reason am going, is because it is safer for CD. I prefer symphonies, and hope to go to one or two, this year. Jul, I would like a support group to go to, but, can't go to Chicago area, as my income, is so low, and gas prices so high, that i really have to drive a lot less now, in order to pay rent, and other bills. I ride the bicycle as much as possible for local runs. (Not runs in my hose!)Ha HA. There is a Madison Wis trans group, for veterans, that i may go to sometime. Fishing time is almost here now, and I actually enjoy fishing , in nature, more than being around crowds. Rhonda Ann, If i go to the gaty club, you are so right, i should go, when it is not packed. I really do not like packed , loud places, of any venue. So, i will try to get there when it is less loud.

[kimdl93]

I have a suggestion....ear plugs...just enough to dampen the sound a bit. The clubs I frequent also have patios where you can escape the noise.

[Amber-Sue]

you're braver than I am, I talked to the owner of the bar on East State and he said I was welcome but have not worked up the courage to go. I asked about not having alcholic and he said they serve others drinks also, that might help you feel better about going

[Jorja]

I have been to the high class fancy clubs and I have been to the sleazy bottom of the barrel clubs. Had a good time at both. No one will bother you unless you want them too. Have a good time and make some new friends.

[Beverley Sims]

Alice,
Even if the music does not meet your approval, smile and show that you can have fun.
I hope it works out for you.

[Alice Torn]

Amber Sue, Maybe we could meet, and go in together, which would lesson a lot of pressure, on both of us. PM me!

[sabrinaedwards]

I have gone to a half a dozen gay clubs and never had a negative experience. Typically, these clubs are open minded regarding crossdressers. I even had the owner of a gay club sit with me during a drag show. Have fun!

[sandra-leigh]

Experiences that I have had at straight clubs that could be said to be bad:


when fully Dressed, a gay fellow thought I was gay, and after talking to me for a while, quite politely asked me to join his table on that basis
when fully Dressed, a very drunk guy was rudely propositioning women. He couldn't figure out whether I was male or female (he asked and I avoided answering) but he was bi and didn't care and blatantly propositioned me
a woman was thrilled about my dressing, wanted me to visit her so she could dress me up, and wanted me to go to her odd church service with her
a woman got upset when I didn't call her "beautiful" and wanted her boyfriend (part owner of the bar or something like that) to cause trouble for me
a straight-looking guy, seeing me walk down the road Dressed towards a club, followed me in his car, taking pictures of me, saying that I was real cute, and asking whether I wanted "some work" at a party that evening.


Experiences that I had at gay clubs that could be said to be bad:


a woman from a minority group that not infrequently laughs at trans people, asked me over to their table. I did go over and was accepted without difficulty. The woman asked to try on my cowboy-style-ish boots, and walked out with them and left, stealing them. The others were not impressed with her.


So of the men, only one was a "problem" inside a bar, and that was a straight bar. The "woman scorned" was more troublesome. In the gay bars, the biggest problem I have encountered is loneliness.