Am I a REAL CDer?

[Wildaboutheels]

Or just a wannabe? I have been CDing [by I think most "reasonable" peoples' standards] for over 50 years.

BUT, I am starting to feel ashamed after all this time...

Because... I have NEVER worn a DRESS.

I have NEVER wanted to.

It's NEVER crossed my mind.

At all. Plus, I have no interest in forms. Or bras. Or makeup. Or pads/padding/shapewear. I know, I know. Clearly there is something WRONG with me. Nor have I ever purged, I don't like the color pink [or even "baby blue" for that matter] and I have no fear of the pink fog. Not worried either.... that some day, I may want to transition. Don't sleep in a nightgown and don't need to go "clubbing" or out on the town with other CDers.

Pretty scary huh?

And you think YOU have it bad...

Wouldn't ya just hate to be ME?

Now, I HAVE worn a skirt perhaps a dozen times but ONLY to Haloween events/contests over the last dozen years or so. And won way more than my fair share of them, one with over 600 folks.

But you can't go to Sam's Club, or the Homer or Lowes, or Payless or Burlington Coat Factory or Wally World or Walgreens or Big Lots or Publix and I don't know how many other places dressed as a DOMINATRIX.

Can I? I suppose I could but I would risk giving CDers a bad name. And that is why when I go out "dressed" I leave the handcuffs and whips at home. Along with the mask or hood [BOTH against Florida law] the lipstick and skirt and fishnets and stuffed bra and blond wig and...

I live in the Sunshine State and go out "dressed" on average, a couple of times a week to all of the aforementioned places and more. Times 52 weeks a year. For almost 14 years now. 2x52x14= An awful lot of "DOING IT WRONG"

Have never had a problem of any kind from ANY one for ANY reason although, I have on a few occasions needed to "educate" a teen or two or three. SOMEone has to do it. Don't they?

Maybe I am just a "lucky" CDer? Lucky to live in one of those "tolerant" states. And/or "lucky" enough to live in one of those tolerant cities?

Is there some magic CDers Formula to my astronomically Good Luck?

I "dress" according to MY CHOICE and I treat people right. Anyone can do it. It's realllllly not complicated.

Do I NEED to progress? If I switch from wearing shorts to wearing skirts, will it make me a "better CDer" or a little more representative of those doing it right? Or should I stay home and not ruin things for the "dress to pass" ers?

At this point, for those 6 of you that actually read, I feel it is only fair that I disclose... that since about the age of 8 or so, I have suffered from LWS. That would be Lone Wolf Syndrome. Maybe it's MY version of "pink fog"? It means I don't NEED to be different nor do I have to be different. BUT, I don't need to be like everyone else to be accepted, either. Most importantly, it means I hear MY own drummer very clearly and don't concern myself unduly about what tune others are marching to. Life is nothing but an ongoing parade of CHOICES.

So LWS is MY excuse for "doing it wrong" all these years. I hope some of you can find it in your hearts to forgive me?

And all you LURKERS? Don't be afraid to join this Forum and put in your 2 cents worth. Your opinion is just as valid as anyone elses.

It IS Ok if they are "just" clothes to you and it IS Ok for you to wear them anywhere the law allows.

[sanderlay]

My understanding of the definition of a cross-dresser is a person that puts clothes on of the opposite sex from theirs. Some definitions add that they do it to pass as the opposite sex. But it seems this addition is a possible why and not the criteria for being called a CD.

From Wikipedia - History of...
"Dominatrix is the feminine form of the Latin dominator, a ruler or lord, and was originally used in a non-sexual sense."

So I think your are a CD. You just have your own reasons. I think most people would also see it as cross-dressing since this would be a female's costume, not a males.

But hey... what ever floats your boat is fine with me. I think it is also safer to go to the beat of your own drum. I don't want to follow the crowd, like they were sheep, off a cliff. Safer to think for yourself.

[Kate Simmons]

You're a person after my own heart Hon. I always figure if I can't be myself and do it my way, what's the point? Besides I've learned it's always easier to ask forgiveness than permission. :battingeyelashes:

[GeminaRenee]

Well, if you're not meeting the universally established standards, I'm sure some of the members of the National Association for Appropriate and Non-Embarrassing Crossdressing that post here will be happy to chime in and let you know about it. We can't have people staring, after all.

Great post.

(:

[RADER]

You are only a real one if you have a "Union" card or a cross dresser card.
Check your wallet or purse now. LOL
Rader

[Marcelle]

Hi Wild,

Well . . . lets see. I am assuming that when you dress up in your "dominatrix' outfit there are heels, garters, black leather bustier and various other dominatrix style garments involved? If so, then I would say you are smack dab in the CD camp. I for one don't wear breast forms and prefer to fill a 36 A cup bra with my natural chest. Do I come off as a bit flat chested gal? You bet but it matches my slender gal hips just fine. Do I wear dresses? On occasion but I prefer jeans. Do I like the colour pink . . . definitely partial to it but I tend to wear neutral colours.

Point is . . . we don't have a hand book or check list. If you feel some sense of fun wearing typically feminine garb then you CD.

Hugs

Isha

[Princess Grandpa]

I don't know much about this whole CD thing but what I have learned is we all have this need. Some of us meet it like this and others like that. Whatever your need is if you're satisfying it you must be doing it right! "This above all; to thine own self be true.

Hug
Rita

[Adriana Moretti]

You are only a real one if you have a "Union" card or a cross dresser card.

Rader

wait ...nobody told me...I dont have one....nobody gave me the message...is there a rule book or something?

[Anna H]

I hadn't planned on being a CD. But once after a shower, I slipped and fell
into a dress. Well, then my reputation was ruined. So I had no choice but
make the best of it. Now that I'm used to it, it's not bad at all.

:P

[ArleneRaquel]

Kate,
About sixty years ago I put on some of my mothers undergarment, by accident of course, I have been "this way", ever since. BTW I have loved every minute of my CD life.

[Tinkerbell-GG]

Ha, Wild, I think I might love your threads. Believe me, on behalf of the non-crossdressing world, thanks for being you.

Dressing to pass or as a leather clad dominatrix; it's irrelevant - if you're a man, we notice! If you're a nice man, we just don't care.

(Unless we married you, and then we care so much we will come here and annoy you until you just stop doing it already!) :)

[Zylia]

Well, congratulations on being a individual I guess?

P.S. What about blue eyeshadow?

[carolynn2fem]

wait ...nobody told me...I dont have one....nobody gave me the message...is there a rule book or something?

I'm also a NON union crossdresser. we can keep our due's and add them to our wardrobe fund.

[Beverley Sims]

You ask others to read.....
I think you have been reading too much or overthinking what you have read.

You haven't been doing it wrong , you have just been doing a Frank Sinatra and ......
"Doing it your way".....

[Tanya+]

I am way too suggestible, now i (almost) just want to dress as a Dominatrix when my inner girl grows up. But really i always feel that everything is right with the world when there is a Dominatrix in the room/forum. Thanks for keeping it REAL diverse Miss.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

I'm also a NON union crossdresser. we can keep our due's and add them to our wardrobe fund.

Another Non-Union CDer from a right to dress/at will dressing state.

On to Wild's original post it is clear she is not a real/authentic cross dresser for a couple of very obvious reasons. All taken from policies within the cross dressing SOP-Version 1 for East Coast Region (Standard Operations Manual). NOTE-SARCASTIC DO NOT TAKE LITERALLY, NOT MEANT TO BE OFFENSIVE ETC, MOST COMMENTS DIRECTED AT ME!!. :2c:

A. Not once in her post did she ever ask will people think I'm gay, assume I gay, or any other variation on the perceived cross dressing=being gay fear.

B. Not once did she make any statement's about wearing panties including, how often favorite type etc.

C. Same for pantyhose or stockings, which do you prefer, under or over etc for that never ending debate to define this cross dressing generation. (Me being an active participant in the passionate debate:2c:)

D. Make one statement at all regarding shaving legs, arms, body and concerns along with that to include will people think she's a cross dresser or gay of course. (Another favorite area of deep importance to me which helps towards maintaing my cd cred :2c:)

E. Make one statement about posting pics and how either posting/lack of posting shows lack of or commitment to being a real cross dresser.

I will give her a little credit for addressing the am I a TS issue but for now she is correct in her original post title. Also a few more props for addressing the "passing" debate as well.

[Katey888]

No... not real at all. :)

Not to say that I've been trying to fathom all the things that you don't wear, all I can pick up from that is what you do wear is a skirt once a year on average, and shorts... :confused: So that really is doing the CD thing your own way... or no way...?

I'm convinced now that you're just a figment of your own imagination... :D

And what the heck's with you and dresses...?

Katey x

[RADER]

OK Gurls, remember the song....
Look for the union label when you are buying your skirt, dress, or Bra. Our union sewing
ever growing.......
OK from the top.... everybody sing.
Rader

[Greenie]

Nope. You are an impostor. Or a CDer Poser. :) Just kidding. I <3 You for who you are, us logical like minded folk.

[felicity84]

awesome! someone who knows how to be themself!

[Lynn Marie]

I'm one of the "6 people here that actually read". I'd really rather not be talked down to or shouted at in CAPS by someone pushing their agenda. Rather than being a "lone wolf", I cultivate friendships and loved ones. By nature I'm fairly loud and boisterous and fun loving, and yet as a gentle women I play down myself and calmly appreciate and admire others. I'm far from being the most important person here.

[natcrys]

I'd say it is pretty simple.. dress however you want to dress.


(of course there are exceptions to this.. but that's not the point here)

If that happens to result in expressing yourself in a way that is viewed as "dressing as the opposite gender" by societal standards.. you're a crossdresser! Yay.. now where's my card? :)

[Tracii G]

Hose,heels and skirts are a PITA to wear and don't make me feel anymore femme inside than I already do.
I do wear them on occasion if I have to.
I must not be real either.

[Martha G]

I basically am a costume fanatic and create costume characters - both male and female.

But since I dressed out in an antebellum dress with a large hoop skirt and all the fixin's, I have developing more female characters such as a midieviel Duchess, a Southern Belle, Norman Bates' mother, A late 1800's elderly lady, various aunts and grandmothers and have actually become an expert impersonator of older ladies. And last but not least the Domestic Diva Martha Stewart for whom I took my name for this forum.

I also had gotten a lot of clothing from a friend of mine from a high grade resale store ( which is basically all the modern outfits you see me wearing). However the black and khacki pants in the pictures are my own. l also purchased additional items like a ponco, tops, some skirts and shoes. Sometimes I go to a costume party just as a woman.

This year my costumer will be fixing me up as a beautiful witch.

I also have at least 18 males characters as well.

I alternate between the male and the female characters, but of late have been emphasizing the female ones.

It was the antebellum dress that brought out the desire to do some lady characters.

I use all my costumes at costume parties, Halloween and Mardi Gras.

So am I really a bonified CDer?