Not being able to dress

[pauleen]

I just like to tell all that my father is ill with alzhymers, so I have to put pauleen on the back burner for a while I only get to physically be her 2 weekends a mo. it really stinks ,but the times I do get to dress are most injoyable. Also I have met a g/g but havent told her yet about pauleen I will in time I just want to see if this person is meaningfull ,and I want to see if the relationship is going to go somwhere first. I want her to know me for my mind , character ,and personality . I want her to know me before I tell her about pauleen. Am I doing the right thing ,or should I tell her asap.

Hugg,s to all in the forum ,
pauleen

[TGMarla]

Well, Pauline, I'm no one to give such advice, as I held it from my wife for ten years. But you aren't breaking any rules in not saying anything yet. Like you said, you want to know if the relationship has a chance first. But once you know it does, you need to fess up.

[HaleyPink2000]

Remember what they don't know can't hurt you!!!!

Haley:)

[Fallen Angel]

theres a place and time for every thing.I think for you rite now you have put your love in being with your dad and have made some sacrafices along with it.Wich to me shows a very special side of you.And if that some one that youve meet is also special youl know and that will be the time to tell her. My prayers are with you and your father xxxxx angel

[MsJanessa]

hon--when you sense the relationship is getting serious that's the time to tell her---you do it to early and she may just decide that she doesn't want to be involved for that reason and if you do it too late she will be upset you didn't tell her sooner.

[Tracy Lynn]

Hi Pauleen,

Sorry to hear about your father. It is nice to hear that you are putting him before yourself.

I think it would be appropriate to tell her if things start to get serious, but, not telling her is not being true about who you really are. If I had it to do over I would have told my wife when we met.

[DonnaT]

Hi Pauleen, sorry to hear about your dad.

IMHO the time to tell your GF is early on. When you get to the point of feeling that the relationship may go somewhere, that means you know everything you want to know, and based on that knowledge, desire to take the relationship to the next level.

If you wait until you reached this point, maybe she's there too, maybe she got there before you did. If so, then she's making a decision based on a missing part of you. It's not fare to let her commit her feelings to that level, and then drop a potential bomb on her.

So, to be fair and honest, the sooner you tell the better. Less chance of a broken heart maybe. Less anxiety on you. Less chance of you deciding to keep it hid for fear of losing her (this happens frequently).

Additionally, if she can't deal with it, then the longer you wait to tell the more time you've both wasted on building a relationship, when that time could have been better spent on finding a more suitable partner.

[Ms. Laura]

Hi Pauleen, I'm very sorry to hear about your Dad, Alzheimer's is very difficult to deal with though I'm not of an age where my parents have come to this yet, just grandparents. I wish you the best.

You don't need to tell right away or there's probably no chance she'll accept if she doesn't know you as someone worth investing in yet. My only warning is don't fall into the trap of not telling because it's gotten so serious that you don't want to risk losing her. Most likely, it'll come up now or later, better now.

Good Luck!

[pattied]

Well, Pauline, I'm no one to give such advice, as I held it from my wife for ten years. But you aren't breaking any rules in not saying anything yet. Like you said, you want to know if the relationship has a chance first. But once you know it does, you need to fess up.

Sound advice Marla!!! Fessing up has made a world of difference in my relationship with my wife, largely for the better!

Now if I could talk her into letting me grow my hair long enough to do something with, oh and shave my chest (she loves my chest hair, I hate it! Thankfully it is sparse...) :bs:

[Miss Lulu]

Just wrote these lines to another thread. I find appropriate to bring it here too.

I started crossdressing seriously only after my divorce (12 years ago). Being alone, I could do whatever I wanted. I've had a few gilrfriends since and, surprisingly enough, they all enjoyed seeing en femme. Of course, I didn't tell them right from the beginning, but, once I was sure the relationship was serious...I'd tell them. Today, I live with this girlfriend (3 years now) who is very, very supportive with CDing. I feel lucky to have her.
And I wish you the same.