Weird Reason I Never Worried I was Gay

[LelaK]

This gives you an idea how "old" I am (65), but I just realized the reason I never worried about possibly being gay when I was a kid, even though I liked to crossdress, was that I never heard of homosexuality until I was about 18 in college. I think my roommate told me about it. He shared quite a bit of info about sexuality with me. About 3 years later when I joined the Air Force the drill seargant told us about homosexuals too. He said if you encounter one on leave in town, slug him and run. (Ha, ha, pathetic!)

It wasn't until about two years after that that I started to worry a little about possibly being gay. And it wasn't my crossdressing that made me worry. I didn't do much CDing then. It was the fact that I was awkward around girls. After thinking it over, I tried to imagine being attracted to guys, and it seemed very distasteful, so I figured I was unlikely to be gay. But not long after that, I got to thinking about universal love and it seemed that the ideal would be for everyone to love everyone. Somehow I seemed to equte sex with love at that time. I told one of my sisters that I thought it was probably healthiest for people to be bisexual. Later, I shared with a guy correspondent (fellow "Hippie") that I wanted to be a Lesbian, like many here say. He said he did too and his slogan was "Male Lesbians, Unite!"

I never talked to anyone about my crossdressing until about 2 years ago. Back in the 90s I saw tv shows where they interviewed groups of crossdressers. At that time I thought they looked rather bad. But in the last 2 years I've come to find many or most CDs to be rather pretty. I suppose my taste has changed a bit.

So my challenge for you is to see if anyone else was as naive as I, and if your taste has changed much.

[Beverley Sims]

I was naive when I started but soon learned, I had some girls to coach and encourage me.
My attitudes must have been modified over the years.
Times and situations definitely do change.

[ChristinaK]

Very early on I was worried that I was homosexual, but like you when I fantasized about men I found the thought distasteful. Then I read about men that were crossdressers, but were still enamored with women. That was me. I figured that I was so attracted to women that I was even turned on by their clothes. So much so that I wanted to wear them and emulate girls. I loved to peruse my sisters 17 magazine, but not only lusted after the girls in the photos, but wanted to wear their clothes. I read the articles on how to apply makeup and what towear and was envious that I was not eligible to do the same. I always thought other boys felt the same, but found out I was different.

It's difficult to discover that other boys don't feel the same and wondered why I was so different. Now I know that the women in my life have appreciated my feminine side .

[Sheila11]

Gay never crossed my mind. Could not even begin to even think about being with a man in any way possible. All I could think about was how beautiful and amazing girls were.
On the other hand I was pretty sure I would rot in hell.

[Confucius]

I was cross-dressing from a very early age. When I was born my mother wanted a girl, so I was a disappointment to her. Then when I was six months old, my mother was pregnant again. She prayed a girl and that Christmas my sister was born. My mother always described it as the happiest day of her life. My sister was pampered by my mother and I was always competing with my sister for my mother's affection. So I grew up thinking that all mothers preferred daughters, and I grew up thinking that my mother would have loved me better if I was a girl.

I was as naive as you growing up. I grew up admiring girls, and had my first girlfriend when I was 4. By the time I was 6 years old, I already had two girls ask me to marry them. I had a very strong attraction to girls from an early age. I had some childhood male friends that were gay, but I didn't know know what gay was. I just considered them to be sissies. I could not imagine that they would ever be attracted to another male. I couldn't believe that a man would be attracted to another man. Then when I was in high school my biology teacher first discussed this condition. I was shocked! The teacher discussed it as if we all already knew this, and I pretended that he was right.

I still cannot comprehend why a man would NOT be attracted to women. When I cross-dress I do NOT want males to be attracted to me.

[Rachel292]

Never ever considered being gay. I think Sheila summed it up about right. Like most of the posts below, Always fantasized about wearing the clothes when I saw a girl/woman that looked good or I fancied.

[Teresa]

Hi Lelak,
Like Confucius I had a GF at 4 by the age of 9 she was the connection with Cding, I had normal male playmates with normal male games. It wasn't until I attended an all male secondary school with boarding pupils that I came across homosexuality and did some of them get a beating, it was so cruel, I was glad I wasn't gay ! I still can't understand the attraction of man to man but find it more logical and accepting in woman to woman.

[franchesca]

Love this topic! Yet another great reason why I've come to love this site!!! Ive always known im not gay but rather a lesbian trapped in a mans body. So awesome to know im not alone (:

[Jenniferathome]

I knew I wasn't gay because I didn't find dudes attractive and did find girls attractive. Kind of basic really.

[danny gogo]

as a boy the word gay wasn,t around,,i never felt gay ..only liked girls..even now..but last year on my second facebook i added a guy i heard about on tv..wanting a sex change ..he or she was too convincing as a girl and i couldnt help but have feelings for her she,s so gorgeous.

my cousin is gay..doesn,t seem so but he lives with a lesbian couple and is a father to 2 girls each have..so in a way the mothers have daughters that are real sisters and theyre all 1 big happy family..i admire that

[erindemia]

My very first crush, I remember feeling first and foremost that I wanted to *be* her. This is still a source of confusion to me. All the kinky stuff has built over time, but I do think there's something confused there.

[Cynthia Satin]

Interesting thread! Havent been interested in men so far (in my 40's) but maybe just havent found the right one. Cant get enough of women though, whether its their bodies or their clothes LOL. Was getting my hair and nails done this week at a salon in North Atlanta. Georgeous young gal was washing my hair, doing a paraffin hand wax, and back massage. She was wearing a black miniskirt, a black see-thru top, and a black lacy bra underneath. One of the buttons on her top had come undone, giving me an unobstructed view of her delicious breasts and bra as she leaned over me. My mind was on two completely different tracks-- the typical male "mmmm boobs", and also "what kind of bra is that, I wonder if it would make my cleavage look that good." Needless to say, I left her a big tip!