How "Cool" is your town?

[ophelia]

I worry that all-too-common negative ideas and attitudes about crossdressing would ruin my career here in Ottawa. (No, I'm not Stephen Harper...he has his own....closet!) (so I hear)
So I make the short drive to Montreal or Kingston where Ophelia can come out to play fancy free. There is an LGBT village in Montreal where I get hair and makeup and it's so nice to just relax. I've never had a problem in Kingston either. But until that lottery ticket turns to gold....it's ....Ottawa? nyet!
How "cool" is your town to crossdressing?

[AngelaKelly<3]

I've only ever seen cross-dressers in the wild once in the whole of Scotland, and that was out at a rock/metal club. They were not seen favourably. A lot of pointing and laughing. But they took it all in their very feminine stride and looked like they were having a blast!

I'd probably need to go somewhere that's specifically for TG/CD people to cross that threshold into public dressing. Like Sparkle.

[Joanne f]

Hello ophelia
The town I live in is pretty intolerant very few people will speak to me and I have had a lot of trouble in the past yet a nearby town and most things go you would not believe how some of the people dress there , not offensive just unusual , the problem that I have is that I can travel to the next town or the next few towns or even 140 miles SW and still see someone that knows me so I personally stick to a androgynous sort of look I expect that things are better than I think but due to past experiences I do not want to push it for my familys sake .

[sherri]

Since I don't live in a cool town, going out in a nearby metro has been the obvious solution, and it's worked well over the years. Just be aware that sooner or later you ARE going to run into someone from home that you know, or that knows you. If it's within the lgbt community it'll prolly be cool. If not, you could be in damage control mode. I know of at least 4 people in my small town that know about me cuz they saw me in LG clubs in the city. To my knowledge, they've never betrayed my secret.

[Amanda Roberts]

In my town I imagine it would pretty much be OK anywhere. .. not really something I am concerned about tho, since when I go out I fully plan to pass as my femme self.

~Amanda

[Anna H]

Small Deep South towns are never cool places to be running around
dressed up.

Think Salem Mass...oh, say, around 1692.

I wouldn't want my new payless shoes to be used as fuel for an alligator
barbecue. Especially with me still in them!

[Danielle Gee]

I know that our little town in southern Ohio is about as intolerant as they come. In my whole life (I'm 64) I can only remember seeing one woman who I thought was CDing. Her and her SO were eating at Bob Evans, so they were probably passing thru.

Danielle

[Beverley Sims]

Our town is cool in the winter and warm in the winter.
A bit "hot" for cross-dressers.

[Carroll]

I could walk through the center of town and for the most part people would look and just say "eh, it's Ithaca"

[Leslie Langford]

Ophelia, I'm surprised that your CD travels haven't taken you to Toronto yet - one of the most LGBT-friendly cities in the world today - and as a fellow Canadian, practically in your own back yard...

Yeah, yeah!...I know...used to be called "Toronto the Good", "Hogtown", "The Big Smoke", but that puritanical, Calvinistic, Protestant work-ethic mentality is a thing of the past now. With all the immigration from every part of the globe that has taken place here over the last 30 years or so, it has become one of the most diverse, cosmopolitan, and free-thinking cities on the planet. Now it's more "Hollywood North", especially with the world-renowned T.I.F.F. (Toronto International Film Festival) which takes place here every September, and which is one of the world's premiere film festivals. Practically all the Hollywood royalty attends...

World Pride 2014? Yep, it's taking place right here this summer, despite our current homophobic, crack-smoking buffoon of a mayor who has threatened (promised?) to stay away, so a good time should be had by all.

Attached is a thread started a few years ago by one of our members asking "How CD Friendly is Toronto?". Much of what was said then still holds true today, and you can see for yourself the multitude of answers she received...

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?98922-How-CD-friendly-is-Toronto&p=1577237&highlight=#post1577237

Come on in - the water's fine... ;)

[Wildaboutheels]

The MCAF [Magic Crossdressing Acceptance Formula] is an elegantly simple one. [and should work in any city] Wear what you want and treat people right.

This simple formula ^^^ becomes much simpler to follow, after one learns to keep their head OFF a swivel and NOT scrunch your face up worrying about what people MIGHT be THINKING.

All CDers are Humans and there are no documented cases of Humans being able to read minds.

[Beverley Sims]

You have to overcome the tortoise syndrome as well!
Come out of your shell. :)

[MetalGurl]

My town is incredibly boring, and I've only ever heard stories of people who've met a few crossdressers while they were out. Don't know how they were received. I know I've perused the local and surrounding CraigsLists, just to see who was even posting. There seems to be more across the border in Ohio than here, which isn't surprising since I know there's some bars over there which are mainly LGBT or LGBT friendly.

[Amy Fakley]

Small Deep South towns are never cool places to be running around
dressed up.

Think Salem Mass...oh, say, around 1692.

^^ THIS ^^

While there's plenty of decent people here who'd probably be at least politely tolerant to your face, they're the same people who'll be telling the world the minute you're not there, and once that gets around you will definitely be blackballed at work if not outright fired for some trumped up reason. Won't be able to get hired anywhere else in town, and if you have the means, you'll have to leave.

And then there's the redneck meth-heads. Not passing in eyesight of a gaggle of these jerks could very easily spell the end of your life, and I'm definitely not kidding about that.

which is why I absolutely will not leave my house dressed in my town. Gotta go somewhere reasonably metro for that (and even then, be sure it's the right part of town).

[CarlaWestin]

Seriously?

It's Vegas, Baby! Coolville!

[Barbara Dugan]

I think Houston is cool, I've seen crosdressers almost everywhere even at my favorite place to shop the Home Depot

[RachaelInLv]

Since I am in Vegas ... I can pretty much go about my day

[Melissa_59]

A small West Texas town, and I've never seen a crossdresser out in public. This place is so conservative that they think Ronald Reagan was a communist hippie, and their religious attitude... well, I don't think Moses could make it in this town, because he broke "Gods tablets" and they'd stone him here for it.

So no, I don't think this place is very accepting of anything that is remotely different. I live here because there's not a lot of crime, not much traffic, and the cost of living is low. If I had the income (if my oldest was out of grad school and we had her loans paid off), I'd move to Austin and just put up with paying more for everything just to be in an area where maybe I won't get dragged down the street and burned at the stake if I'm ever found out.

Yes, I don't get out much. Not dressed, anyway.

[Marcia Blue]

The little town in Iowa, I am from, has the phone book on one side of a legal pad sized sheet of paper. We are cool in "talk" only. My gut reaction is if they knew they had a Transgender or Homosexual in their mists................... The Armageddon had begun, they would bar the door and arm up against the insurrection.

[Tracii G]

My town here in central Kentucky has a fairness clause in the law so TG's and CD's are not all that odd to see,I can go just about anywhere with out any problems.
Eat in a restaurant go bowling,movies its pretty much a non issue where I live.

[shawnsheila]

I'm from Chicago where juts about no one bats an eye (except for us lil ole gals). I've been out an about many times, I even get my beard lasered off as Sheila. If anything, they kinda treat you a bit nicer here.

[sanderlay]

I do all the things I would have done before I went full time dressing with no problems, like shop at stores, market, gas, laundry, etc... But I'm not very social in my unnamed town. I don't go to meet people. Perhaps that's why I like being single. But I am friends with neighbors around me. I am retired so I'm not looking for employment. People in my town, like myself, are fairly self sufficient. Most have limited funds and do the best they can with what they have. Most are fairly open to unconventional thinking and are open minded. Most came here to get away from the cities, a lower cost of living, and enjoy nature. Nature is a big perk of why I live where I live. If you're a social person you'll probably not like living here. Larger cities are many miles to drive but they are available. But if you like some peace and quiet this is a wonderful place to live. :)

FYI: I'm a mixed dresser as I present both male and female.

[grace7777]

I live in downtown Phoenix and i have wandered around town dressed en femme and have had very few problems.

[Nikki50/50]

Based on the assumption that either everyone you meet knows you are a CD, or nobody ever even suspects? Then my town is either REALLY observant and REALLY cool about it, or everyone in my town is blind and probably shouldn't be allowed outside without help.
Judging one's town for how "cool" it is would be a seriously difficult assessment to make, short of shouting it out everywhere you go, to gauge reactions. Keeping an eye on regional postings of this bit of news or that, crossreferencing with what your friends say when/if the subject comes up, coupled with eavesdropping (should you happen to overhear things relevant to the topic), is, at best; a crapshoot.
The cold reality is, for all towns: It is mixed, and will be for awhile to come. With ANY personality trait (and I DO harbor the firm belief that CDing falls into this category), social acceptance of ANY of them varies so wildly, that any attempt to quantify it is a patently absurd idea. I walk down the same streets as a man and have turned the heads of a few ladies (and guys from time to time lol) here and there, gotten a few not so positive looks/reactions from people, and as a woman; same thing. A (VERY) few times, when people have guessed at my true nature, reactions have ranged from the "oh...ok" nonchalance, to to vulgar catcalls (not often, even the most ignorant a$$clowns around here will mostly only mutter), and all in between.
OK one (positive reaction) anecdote in particular...the only time I was ever verbally addressed directly to my face about it was an older woman seated at a nearby table at the small coffee shop on the mainstreet telling me (after talking with her for awhile about how best to blend different styles/materials that are all black (I love black), and suddenly realizing I'm a guy) that men aren't supposed to have nicer legs than women, and that it wasn't fair. She ended that statement with "...you b**tch." upon which she laughed, and I laughed so hard I snorted my coffee. That was a fun moment.
But how cool a town is...there is no way to really ever know.

[Michelle789]

L.A. is totally cool to the TG/CD community. It's one of the most gender friendly places on the planet, and being that Hollywood is known for transforming people for movies, L.A. is a great place for transforming from male to female. We've even produced movies with cross-dressing characters. Our most famous industry encourages it. We have tons of wig shops, and plenty of things to do while en femme, and you don't have to worry about the weather, well usually.

We even experienced a real magnitude 5.1 earthquake during a transgender support group.

Just watch out for a psychic on Venice Beach who thinks that gender confusion comes from the devil.

[Nikki50/50]

Is she really psychic? LOL
She must have a real problem with sci-fi movies, and actors having 'species-confusion'. HAHAHAHAHAHA

[Marcelle]

Hi Ophelia,

As a gal from the NCR area I have been to Ottawa lots of times with no issues and that includes forays down to the Rideau center a la OC Transpo. I guess it depends a lot on how you present and are you recognizable, who might see you and of course what you do and finally how high profile you are.

Hugs

Isha

[noeleena]

Hi.

How good do you need it, we have in Waimate under 3,500 people ,Timaru some 30,000 people amd Oamaru some 16,000 people. im involved with our groups in Waimo = Waimate , Brass band and high profile groups in the public , that im a member of ,

Known where ever i go allways someone will see me or know who i am, so i know whats going on and talk to a lot of people in the media as well.

lived here and both other places some 17 years,

So how would a dresser get on pretty well you give your self time to get known and make friends with those in the shops and you have friends who you can talk with .

I would quite likely have been seen as a dresser not a very good one i dont pass or blend in so i would say that is how i would have been percived as, now thats not by those i know or have interacted with over 17 years with yet had i said nothing as to what i am none would be the wiser, so acceptance is there you just present your self and be wellcomed doubt any one i know would refuse you,

So apply the same detail to myself a not very passible female, or woman and iv not been rejected you look at my photo, thats how im seen no hair no makeup and im just one female who's been accepted most know where i live some pop in to see me quite a few really, and know about my background,

I dont hide myself i invite others to our groups and do's we have they know what i do,

so think about it i can go to Christchurch and go any where yet how would i be seen as a female ?? . more like oh theres another dresser or a man in a dress, well im nether, just a female who does not pass as one,

my thoughts are many or more like most here would surpass this kid, in looks and passibilty , so no one would know if you were male or female, id say youd pass very well.

...noeleena...

[ophelia]

Hey Leslie...'It's a "lottery win" dream to be made over in a fabulous spa in Yorkville.The truth is that Kingston and Montreal are both day trips at about two hours drive. so no need for a hotel and heavy gasoline bill. Having a car gives me a relatively safe change room where I can also take a nap before hitting the road home at 12am arriving a 2-2:30am with my nosy neighbours hopefully snoring away in dreamland.
Ophelia, I'm surprised that your CD travels haven't taken you to Toronto yet - one of the most LGBT-friendly cities in the world today - and as a fellow Canadian, practically in your own back yard...
Ottawa is super cool for visiting crossdressers, just not for me...

Yeah, yeah!...I know...used to be called "Toronto the Good", "Hogtown", "The Big Smoke", but that puritanical, Calvinistic, Protestant work-ethic mentality is a thing of the past now. With all the immigration from every part of the globe that has taken place here over the last 30 years or so, it has become one of the most diverse, cosmopolitan, and free-thinking cities on the planet. Now it's more "Hollywood North", especially with the world-renowned T.I.F.F. (Toronto International Film Festival) which takes place here every September, and which is one of the world's premiere film festivals. Practically all the Hollywood royalty attends...

World Pride 2014? Yep, it's taking place right here this summer, despite our current homophobic, crack-smoking buffoon of a mayor who has threatened (promised?) to stay away, so a good time should be had by all.

Attached is a thread started a few years ago by one of our members asking "How CD Friendly is Toronto?". Much of what was said then still holds true today, and you can see for yourself the multitude of answers she received...

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?98922-How-CD-friendly-is-Toronto&p=1577237&highlight=#post1577237

Come on in - the water's fine... ;)

[GingerLeigh]

Blue collar towns like mine don't take kindly to the plunging necklines and pink tops of our community. Getting beat up is not unheard of in these parts. The smaller the town, the more likely it is that you'll be recognized or stumble across a group of punks looking for a reason to harm someone.

[Jean. Ann]

I live. In a small town in the Texas Panhandle.
It is not accepting at all.
But the larger towns, and cities are very accepting

Jean. Ann

[Krisi]

I live on the outskirts of a medium sized city. I don't go downtown very often but I've never seen a crossdresser (except in the mirror) in the nearly ten years I have lived here.

So - Either there are none around or they pass well enough that I haven't noticed them.

BTW: My town likes to think it's "cool" but it's not.

[StephanieDragg]

I live near Royal Oak Mich, very very friendly, friendly shops restaurants, people I just love it!

[Jean. Ann]

I have spent days out in the malls in both Amarillo and
Lubbock , Texas with no problem .
Also Plainview seems CD friendly !

Jean Ann

[Rhanda]

In my town I have seen CD on several ocations and they draw a little attention but nothing of an objection. I have been wearing nothing but high heels for several years and only ocationally will anyone say anything. Of course about half the men in this location wear cowboy boots.

Most CDs are accompanied by guy friends when they go out.

I have been complimented for my style many times and occationally on my makeup. I have no fear of going out whenever or wherever.

Rhanda

[JennyLynn]

My town would stone me! Arrggghhh Upstate rural NY is full of great people, but equally full of sexually repressed rednecks!

[Dianne S]

I live in Ottawa and have had no issues going about en femme. Why do you think your career would be ruined? I happen to know an MP who is a CDer (and no, I will certainly not reveal any more details) and he goes en femme in Ottawa.

[ClaireCole]

I guess the Center and West End of Glasgow are pretty "cool," I've seen crossdressers out and about loads and they don't seem to get bothered. I've never had any hassle in my few excursions in quiet parts of the West End. There's places to avoid, but yep, cool town all things considered.

[Leslie Langford]

I live in Ottawa and have had no issues going about en femme. Why do you think your career would be ruined? I happen to know an MP who is a CDer (and no, I will certainly not reveal any more details) and he goes en femme in Ottawa.

John Baird??

Who knew? :eek: :D :devil:

[Marcelle]

LOL Leslie. He would be easy to spot . . . The CDer yelling at everyone :)

Hugs

Isha

[Hell on Heels]

Ain't no town 'round here!
San Francisco is skittle over an hour away, I hear that's supposed to be cool.

[Leslie Langford]

Yeah, Isha, but nobody would mess with him or even out "out" him. You know, as in the old 500 lb. Gorilla joke... ;) :heehee: :D

[Eryn]

Seriously?

It's Vegas, Baby! Coolville!

I grew up in Nevada several decades ago and, despite its "gambling and wild life" reputation found it to be rather conservative socially. I'm glad to see that they have loosened up!

Here in SoCal I've not had a bad experience. Nearly all of my outings are to mainstream places and in fact I feel a bit more comfortable there than in LGBT venues.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Ophelia, No Matter how accepting your town is you still have to be careful of the RED NECKS.

[stef]

I live between a city in Southern Ontario (Sarnia) and Dubai. If I was caught dressed in Dubai (or anywhere in the Middle East), the best case scenario is I'm deported, worst case scenario is I spend several years in jail (or worst). Back in southern Ontario it's hard to say; nobody would ignore me, there might be a snicker or two, and I'm sure someone would yell something hateful out of a passing car sooner or later. On the other hand, nearby Toronto is a great place for tolerance and acceptance, but most university towns outside of Toronto tend to be a little more open too. Things getting better every year though...

[ophelia]

". Back in southern Ontario it's hard to say; nobody would ignore me, there might be a snicker or two, and I'm sure someone would yell something hateful out of a passing car sooner or later. "

Hey Steph, I grew up in Sarnia (Hoserville Ontario) and there's no way on earth I'd let Ophelia stroll down Front St. near The Seaway Tavern...
'Couldn't afford the therapy after!!

[Ressie]

Recently a couple of CDs remarked that my town is cool for CDing. But I recall a CD that used to walk all over town sometimes dressed rather outrageous. Anyway, he got jumped and beat up more than once. So maybe some towns are only cool in the right neighborhoods at the right time of the day.

[PretzelGirl]

This is a great area to get out. I have been doing it for about 4 1/2 years and have had zero negative experiences. Five thumbs up! :thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

[ophelia]

And just google stephen harper and makeup.. He wears more than his gorgeous wife!

[StacyLynn]

I live in Minnesota, but the town I live in seems like it belongs in the south. Most people are heavily conservative and anti-homosexual so I can only imagine they'd look down upon me. I'm sure their ignorance of the subject would cause them to consider me a homosexual, despite that not being the case, and things might get a little hostile. So for now I dress in private, but I'm hoping towards the end of the summer to go to Minneapolis as Stacy. I hear things are a bit better in the city.

[Wildaboutheels]

The REAL enemy is not "all those clueless people" in one's town but the person staring back at them, whenever MOST CDers look in the mirror.

POGO was correct. "We have met the enemy and they is us".

BUT... "my town is unaccepting" IS a very convenient excuse, no two ways about it.

[Butterfly Bill]

I have been living in Muskogee, Oklahoma since 2004 and I have been totally out the whole time. I go to restaurants and stores (there is a picture of me in a patio dress on the "people of Wal-Mart" site0. I go to the Veteran's hospital and auto parts and building supplies stores. I go to church services and I'm part of the community choir that sings the Messiah every December. Maybe once every three or four months someone might shout "faggot" at me from a window in a passing car, but more often I get compliments from women it haven't met before. I also drive cross country to the Rainbow Gathering every summer and get out at truck stops and check into motels. From my experience, "small town America" is a lot more tolerant than most people here think.

[Secret Drawer]

Yes Wild, perhaps it is a convenient excuse to consider ones town unaccepting, but I really hope you don't go out and about enfemme your next trip to Dubai!

[Angie G]

I don't know I don't go out dressed. I did see a man in a dress at Wal-Mart one time But he looked like he lost a bet.:hugs:
Angie