Has this ever happened to others who go out dressed regularly?

[Marcelle]

Hi all . . . promise not a rant or a musing of my mind. :) Just a simple experience and wondering if it is just me or if others have felt same thing.

My experience . . . Yesterday was an Isha day as I wanted to buy a jean skirt for the summer (if it ever gets here that is :sad:). I have been going out dressed since September last year and have progressed from ninja femme drives, drive-thru service, quick walks around a parking lot, walking in the store and leaving to my current state of just being out whenever and wherever. So yesterday was no different from any other Isha day.

My modus operandi these days is to place myself in the most awkward, up close and personal venues for interacting. Specifically, I take the bus to the mall on busy Fridays. I have come to a place in my life where I am fine with me and who I am. Heck people see a guy in girls clothes but I am good with that. So I prefer to get the stares, guffaws and giggles out of the way sooner than later.

So all was going good. I take the bus from a busy hub so lots of stares, pokes in sides . . . nudge, nudge, wink, wink but nothing more than usual. Boarded the bus sat down and did what everyone else does put in my headphones and ignore the world. Got off the bus at the mall station and transcended into a throng of teens standing around waiting for buses . . . giggles, guffaws, . . . nothing new. Continue on up into the mall and begin my day of shopping. Now this is where Isha hits her stride as I just go from store to store, look at items, interact with SAs if required and make my purchases. Oh I get read and there are double-takes, nudges, giggles, stares . . . but I have grown used to that and just go about my business.

So I decide to go to Starbucks and get a coffee and then it happens. I am walking by this older guy sitting on a bench and for a brief minute we make eye contact. This has happened hundreds of times and in most cases the encounter is brief and I move on. However this time his facial features go from vanilla, to WTF then to pure and absolute disdain. It felt like he thought I was a traitor to my gender and should be eradicated from the earth . . . pure hate is all I can say. :angry: I know, some may say you are reading into it but believe me, I have seen that look and it was real. Now I didn't feel threatened in the sense he was going to jump up and go all Chuck Norris on me but the hate in his eyes was clear.

I admit it knocked my confidence off balance, I broke eye contact and retreated to the safety of Starbucks. Once I hit SBs, I began to have a classic panic attack. I locked myself in the bathroom for what felt like forever (probably only 10 minutes). I was visibly shaken, short of breath and to be honest afraid to go back out in the mall. However, I did calm down and left the bathroom, bought my coffee and left the mall . . . she who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day. :)

I am still very mad at myself for leaving and even madder that I did not buy my skirt. Oh well, live and learn . . . but I do plan to get back on the horse so next trip will be by bus to the mall in the city core.

So just wondering if this has happened to anyone else?

Hugs

Isha

[Kate Simmons]

I'm wondering what this older guy would say if you ended up saving his life one day. Stuff like that does happen. When its all on the line some bigots have been known to do a quick U turn. Just saying. ;):)

[Launa]

This hasn't happened yet where I have felt the onset of a panic attack but a month ago I was leaving a restaurant and a guy my own age was walking by and gave me the look of absolute disgust. It was that expression like you don't belong here on earth, I can't believe there are people like you in the world and I'm ready to vomit. It didn't bother me that much but I'm sure if the situation like yours happens to me at the right time I could feel the jitters too.

[Krisi]

Doing what we do, we place ourselves in the minority. What you experienced is pretty close to what a black person might have experienced in the south fifty years ago. Or even yesterday. It's an eye opener. People can be jerks.

All you can do is suck it up and go back out the next time.

[Jamiegirl1]

Isha,you are so brave to go out like that...I never stray very far from my vehicle...no wonder you were scared to death...I have had hateful looks from guys and women both,that look of disgust...but I find that if I smile at them,they will smile back sometimes,or they will just look away....I had one guy stare at me with daggers,I left the situation as soon as I could.....you did the right thing by leaving,you have to trust your instinct......please stay safe,Jamie

[ChristinaK]

I think that there are many people of both sexes that would not mind if we were hunted down and eradicated. And, that does happen at some locations even though homosexuality is fairly common there. Many people's attitudes have not changed much. If you are not part of the "norm" of society, then you don't deserve to live in that society. I'm fairly certain that if my own Father knew about me I would not be welcome in his home. But, he's gone anyway.

And, I totally agree with Jamiegirl. You are an inspiration to us and admire your bravery. Be happy with who you are and be safe.

[noeleena]

Hi.

You know im out all the time so ... a man is sitting on a seat near a coffe house or is walking towards me maybe with wife or friend a stranger or someone i dont know ,some young people from school walk towards me or in front , the man with his dog .

okay many times i say Hi, sometimes i stop and talk i make eye contact with every one, very few ignore me most will say hi, and then the day after or week later different people maybe some i know, or they know me any way,

Okay maybe our difference is im well known and seen a lot and i interact with people more,

The other detail is your town / city is much bigger and more people, were ours is a Village, under 3,500 people were we live in Waimate,, Timaru is 30,000 and i am seen there on Tuesdays each week shoping interacting with others a lot,

Just trying to see is there a difference or well i think there is just some have an attitude any way if its different or they lack understanding that maybe some details can be different they just dont wont to have to accept that,

...noeleena...

[Teresa]

I'm sorry you had your day spoiled Isha , even in drab the guy may have given you that look he was probably having a crap day ! I guess no matter how many times you go out the feeling of walking on eggshells doesn't completely go away ! You know you'll go back for that skirt and the excuse to buy something to go with it, then you'll need a coffee to steady the credit card down, they get nervous as well you know !

[Marcelle]

Hi Noeleena,

The running population of my city is approximately 300,000 souls. It is odd though while I have run into some rude looks (more curiosity than mean - it is not everyday you see a cross dresser), this is the first "hate filled" look I have encountered. For the most part nobody pays me much attention, they just walk on by regardless of whether I look them in the eye or not. It was a bit unnerving but I will deal.

Hugs

Isha

[Nadine Spirit]

I normally do not look at others long enough to see their reactions to me. I glance at people mostly. But once, the very first time I was in public, I did see a woman giving me a look of disgust. That is really the worst I have ever seen. It may be that others are giving me nasty looks, but as I said I generally don't look at people long enough to notice.

[Chari]

Sad to hear you had to go through an unpleasant shopping situation, and still did not find your "jean skirt", but there is always tomorrow. In the beginning of my first "out & about" times, I had many encounters with others not accepting my feminine side, and could tell by their look and/or body language it would be most embarrassing & uncomfortable if I stayed in their area. As quickly as I could, I removed my self from that situation - never saying or doing anything that would escalate "their problem" which could cause physical harm to me. Felt at some of those times I was not "passible" and decided to work harder on my feminine presentation. Today I have become comfortable and confident in who I am, no matter how I am presenting. Enjoy.

[Alexis.j]

I think the idea is to ignore whats going on around you, but still be aware enough for safety.
We naturally are EXTREMELY self conscious by the nature of what we are doing. And I also think look to deep into many things that are not there.
Yes. the majority of the population does hate us or at least disapprove of us, but that still wont stop us wanting to go out. I have just as much of a right walking the streets as anyone else on this planet!
What about the seriously disfigured people out there? must they stay out of the public's eye?
Yes it is hard out there, but i would think trying to ignore what others think/say would be the best approach.
Hell, I am not really the one to give this advice, as I have not been out as often as most of you. But it is what I try and do (its difficult i know)

[Jenniferathome]

No Isha, not me. But I think the problem is that you obviously cared what he "thought." Why? He's nothing to you. Frankly, the best thing you could have done was ask to sit next to him. Totally disarm him. If it really was hate, then he would have run scared....

[Marcelle]

Hi Jen,

That is the funny thing . . . I normally don't care what people think and am more inclined to smile at those people or engage them in conversation. This just threw me for a loop and I am not really sure why. But you are likely on to something that his look must have made me think "why is he looking at me like that". Though it would have been funny to see his reaction if I had sat down next him :)

Hugs

Isha

[Shelly Preston]

Isha

I think this was just down to bad timing. Sometimes when your out and about and you start to relax you get caught out by the unexpected. It does not have to be bad either. Use this as a positive, you took your time and got through it without too much trouble.

Not getting the skirt means you have another excuse to go shopping. :)

[Kayla C]

Isha,
It is sad there are so many hateful people in the world.
But the reality is you need to be careful.
There are too many of us who have been harmed just for being who we are.
Hugs,
Kayla

[wendy360]

I don't know if anybody has ever given me a nasty look, I try not to look people in the eye unless they are coming right at me. That being said before I get out of the car I look in the mirror and tell myself, Lets give em something to talk about.
I think you know you will get the looks and the giggles from your post. My advise is to get back out as soon as possible so you get back into your comfort zone.
Best of luck

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

Sorry that old guy rained on your parade. I am far to confrontational and would have asked" what's that look all about sir"? I too do not suffer the little things but this was a little more than that so I would have had to find out, not recommending this to you but for me it's what I do. Life is too short to have this crap happen and get away with it. Best of luck next time, most of the times I've been out I have never had problems so don't sweat this encounter.

[sanderlay]

In my three years of being out I have never felt what you have described. I do tend to keep blinders on and just glance around at persons I see. And yes the typical smirks and look-a-ways are common. But seeing smiles from women just seems to wash all that negative stuff away ten times over. I never got those smiles when I presented as a man. So I like it.

I don't remember if I was in dressed as I do but I have seen a look of hate before from a few persons who I suspect might have been on drugs or some mental problem. I have also seen it from a drunk person, my Father. Sometimes they were in their own world and many times talking to themselves. But that hate pouring from their eyes was unnerving and hard to forget. I just keep my distance and go where I feel safe, usually where lots of people are.

I don't let these fringe element persons steal my joy of being myself. Many seem very unhappy with life anyway and just they want to make me unhappy. I won't let them gain a victory. My joy and confidence are my own.

[sherri]

I got a real stink eye once, from an older (but not elderly) woman while I was window shopping antique shops one afternoon. It was unnerving wondering if she was going to be confrontational, especially since her husband was with her, but I refused to be cowed. I just looked her right in the eye to show her I knew what was going on, then returned to what I was doing -- which was minding my own business.


The way I look at it, people have a right to their own sensibilities and belief systems, and if that includes disapproving of me (probably out of ignorance) then so be it. But what they don't have a right to do is hate me, 'specially if I'm not harming anyone. It's a shame such encounters rarely present the opportunity to defuse the situation in some kind way, which would be my first choice. Sadly, the best course of action when confronted with hatred is usually to walk away, but I do think it's important to do so in a way that communicates that I haven't been cowed lest the meanie think he or she has scored some sort of self-righteous condemnation victory.


Btw, I looked WAY better than that old cow who glared at me. :-)

[Nikki A.]

I've gotten that look once and I know it can be a bit unnerving. It was actually my first time out as Nikki in a non TG friendly club or group setting.
I was invited to a lesbian wedding by the sister of one of the brides. Everything was fine until at one point a bunch of us went outside for a smoke. I got that look from that person there. It turned out he was a brother of the bride and my friend, but a real jerk. Pissed him off a little more when his sister borrowed my lipstick.

[ArleneRaquel]

A few years back I was in a check-line at a local Jewel grocert store, the clerk was fine, but the bagger, an older lady, gave me a stare that would stop the clock.

[Wildaboutheels]

It's little wonder that it threw you. I know the look and have seen it ONE time in almost 14 years of going out regularly but I can't really count it as a "bad" experience for several reasons.

It's inevitable, if one goes out enough times to enough places to encounter a bit of everything. Teenagers are far and away the most likely potholes in the road but are easy enough to deal with if prepared.

But, as you so nicely explained AND confirmed, most folks are sharp enough not to care. NO REASON THEY SHOULD. One bad apple out of a hundred or a thousand does not spoil the whole barrel unless one allows it to. I imagine just in the short time you have been going out, you have already walked by/been observed by thousands of people? IMO, doing it your way with the masses, IS safer than going to LGBT "friendly" places/events. Because of doing it your way, you have a firm grip of REALITY.

The other thing to keep in mind. Could he simply not help himself? Or, more likely, was he trying to send you a message in no uncertain terms? I can think of at least 2 "good" reasons why. I am sure there are possibly others. People always have reasons for how they act and what they do.

[Leah Lynn]

Hi, Isha, no never the hate-filled look. Many WTF's, once a lady walked off the curb, staring at me, all bewildered. The worst happened a couple weeks ago. Cruising the mall, I strolled into a store. About 50 feet in, I encountered a 20-something female, that looked then loudly exclaimed, "The circus must be in town, I just saw something from the freak show!" That really shook me. Hope you never have to encounter any more evil out there.

Hugs,

Leah

[Beverley Sims]

I have had similar encounters but not as bad as yours.
I have been able to shake them off and yes live to fight another day.

[Suzanne F]

Isha
I think sharing about it takes the energy away from it. Obviously you don't need any advice form me, you will be out and about again soon. Of course I run into this infrequently. It can be unnerving. I try to take a deep breath. I remind myself those people cannot take away my joy of being out in the world as I always wanted to be! I was out for several hours yesterday and never felt any scorn. I need to be grateful for those times!
Hugs
Suzanne

[Lillyasia]

Isha,

I know that stare all too well. I get it in normal guy mode all the time. Sorry to hear you had to go through that.
There are all types of people out there and some just don't mix well. There are also a lot of mentally ill people out in the public. And then there are those tough guys out there who get off on picking on others who they percieve as weaker or smaller.

[Stephanie47]

Actually, you know where the guy stands, even though he made you feel uncomfortable. You should fear the people you don't know where they stand.

[Nikki Love]

Hello Isha,
Your note strikes a cord with me. I have never ventured out in public as a woman, and I am not sure if I ever want to do that. One of the reasons I slink away from public crossdressing is the very negative experience you describe. I enjoy dressing as a woman. The act of cd'ing at home gives me comfort for a multitude of reasons; but to go out in public strikes fear in my heart. I have analyzed this to some degree and I feel that if I could be 100% passible, I would go out often and enjoy the world as a female spirit. But I fear this is not my lot simply because I look and act too much like a man.
You seem to have the strength to say Fuk'em and move on. I don't have that temperament to do as I please and let the rest of the world suck on it.
As a male in public, I feel I have full control of most situations, and if I encounter an asshole, I can result to a number of tactics to deal with the situation. To imagine myself as a cd in similar situations I feel that my power has diminished, my options are limited, and I am vulnerable. These feelings give me fear, and now the pleasurable act of dressing like a woman gives me hives. I don't like hives.
I have thought about the options of going out in public in a group of like-minded people, and that may be okay, but also seems like hiding in the group to avoid direct contact. Then I hark back to safety, why go out in public for such a private matter. I am not sure where I personally stand on this topic, but I enjoy dissecting it. Thank you for your post. And hopefully for every scary encounter you have, a thousand wonderful encounters will follow.
Nikki

[Zylia]

I don't go out all that much basically because I'm not really interesting in involving the whole world in this little hobby of mine, but when I do go out, it's usually a string of panic attacks. I obviously do not have a skin as thick as you do :D

[trisha kobichenko]

hi, so sorry for your experience. I must say up front that you are much braver than I, who doesn't present as who I really am to the outside world...I still have a full beard, so even close to passing is not an option.

[trisha kobichenko]

Hi,
I read a lot of the responses to this thread. Some excellent advice as to how much weight should be ascribed to a situation like this...but can't help but think how serious this situation was given training you could apply to diffusing it if it had escalated. Maybe this jerk needed a lesson?

[KristyE]

Dear Isha,
I firmly believe in gut instinct. If you feel something is dangerous it is. You did the right thing. Please don't be disheartened, Knowing you through this forum is a pleasure and a honor. Keep up what and how you do for girls like me, hiding and scared.
Love KristyE

[Claire Cook]

Isha,


I honestly don't know what I'd do if that happened to me. It hasn't, so far. Maybe I've been lucky -- I get the usual stares, but eye contact and a smile usually suffices. I'm really sorry that a Yay-Hoo like that messed up your day -- at least you had the Ladies' room as a refuge. There are hateful bigots in this world, and I don't know what we can do about them. Maybe a big smile and an a wink???


So we look forward to hearing how that denim skirt fits -- I have two and I love them. And thanks again for all of your wonderful posts -- they really are an inspiration for us.

[anaissa]

Early on, when I was a much younger crossdresser, I did have a similar experience where I felt an older gentleman glaring at me in a most hateful way. It totally wrecked my confidence and ruined my evening. Although I didn't have an immediate panic or anxiety attack, I did get home and just started to shake from head to toe. Mind you, this was some years ago and there was a lot less open-mindedness back then. But I do remember having this realization that I might have been in some small danger. There are, after all, a lot of loose cannons out there. Fortunately, I outgrew my timidity and developed a fierce attitude whenever I was met with any hostility. Don't let a small-brained person get you down. You are gorgeous, hon.

[Marcelle]

Hi everyone,

Thanks very much for your kind comments and support. It was a bit of a let down and as I said in my thread I am more mad at myself than anything as I don't usually let this stuff get to me. Oh well I guess it is a learning experience. Still going to get my denim skirt though.

Hugs

Isha

[Raychel]

I never really get out like dressed, So of course I have never had the issue.
I am not sure what I would do in a situation like that, probably sit in the bathroom crying for a long time.
I don't know how I could go on.


But I would think that it would be mostly the older generation that is less accepting, Probably not much of a threat
and the will be pushing up daisies before long and then you can go out without the worry of death stares


The younger generation is much more accepting,


Just my thoughts, Which of course could be and probably are all wrong. :2c:

[mikiSJ]

I had my hair done and brows dyed last Wednesday (I was in Levis and a sweater and no one would think I was a girl!). My stylist is the sweetest and we both love to chat about me and where I am going. Having a full head of naturally platinum gray hair allows us to have fun. She spent a lot of time shaping and then did a blow out and it was really nice.

This is a very busy shop and at least 10 of the ciswomen who were there came over to say "WOW". I felt great!

As I was walking out the door, there was a guy, 30ish, scraggly hair and beard and he gave me that look of disgust that Isha saw. I simply walked as close as I could to him and politely said: 'Have a nice day!' You could see his ego immediately deflate and I got into my SUV and drove off knowing that my hair was 'FABULOUS'!

[Cheryl T]

I had a few of those looks when I first began going out. They were disheartening to say the least.
Now I realize that when that happens my best response is to just smile and continue on about my business. Let them stew in their awkward feelings, I'm happy being me and I'm not about to let them ruin that.

[Sophie Yang]

Hi Isha,

It has been awhile since I've been on. As usual you have another interesting thread. I have never had the hate filled look nor a panic attack that you described in your OP.

On one of my early adventures out I was going from San Francisco to the Oakland airport on BART to surprise my wife. BART is a high speed rail system that links the Bay Area together. When I got on, all the seats were taken and people were standing packed together. I don't remember if it was panic or surprise, but it felt like someone briefly rubbed their hand up my leg.

Another time while walking the streets of San Francisco, a mentally ill lady started ranting as I passed. I don't know if she was ranting about me or was just off in her own world and I happened to be passing through it at the time. I would not say it was panic, but an awareness that something was not right here.

For me anxiety creeps in when I potentially may run into someone I know who doesn't know or spot someone I know who doesn't know. With the snow finally melting, my basement apartment had water seeping in underneath the floor. The landlord dropped by and tore up the floor to dry the place out a couple of weeks ago. Last Tuesday I was getting ready to go out to the comedy club. I looked down at my phone and found a text message saying the contractor wanted to drop by that evening and drop off the flooring material in less than 30 minutes. That got my heart pounding. Nothing like a little extra pressure. I got dressed, put on my makeup, and was out the door in less than 30 minutes. Texted the landlord that I was out for the evening. Had dinner and drinks at the club. Fun times. Landlord has been in and out of my place on several occasions. Never had to explain a bathroom full of cosmetics and a closet full of clothes.

A couple of weeks ago, I was working on my computer at the local CO-OP. I packed up my computer and was heading off to use the restroom when I spotted a co-worker, he actually sits in the next cube, standing at one of the check-out stands next to the entrance to the bathrooms. Now he is a nice guy, but not one who I would feel comfortable knowing he knows. Now, again nothing like a little extra pressure. Decision time: Go to the restroom, wait until he leaves to use the restroom, go back and work, or leave the CO-OP. Well I had been there since about 7:00 AM and it was 2:00 PM'ish. I decided to go out the door opposite the restroom and take a walk. It was a nice day and ended up taking a nice walk after heading over to a local hotel and using their restroom. Actually heading off to the CO-OP after finishing this thread. Now I wonder if I will bump into him or anyone else I know there.

[alwayshave]

Isha, I have never gotten a hateful look from anyone for crossdressing that I know of. Though, I only go out at night to LGBT venues. However, my fiancee is black and we have gotten the worst looks, I mean just hateful, glaring I want you dead looks. We were once in a high end restaurant just outside Washington. This older couple starts glaring at us, I mean to the point where they were not in our line of sight but I could feel the glare on the back of my neck. I turn around and they are both looking at us with such disdain that I have never experienced in my life and when I made eye contact it got worse. At first it pissed me off, but my fiancee said just let it go, its their problem, not ours. She was right, it was their problem. How did our mere existence effect their life. I know that things like that still occur, but at this point, eight years later, I just let it go. I am extremely happy with her, love her and that's what I care about. To crossdressing you were out and happy expressing who you are, you weren't hurting anybody and that is what you should care about.

[Tracii G]

I have gotten those looks a few times but kept walking after the eye contact but kept an eye out to see if he followed me.
Seems once you are out of range they forget about you.
Sorry you had that experience Isha but you probably did the right thing by removing yourself from the situation.
There is always another day.

[Sarah Welch]

[QUOTE=sherri;3480670]I got a real stink eye once, from an older (but not elderly) woman while I was window shopping antique shops one afternoon. It was unnerving wondering if she was going to be confrontational, especially since her husband was with her, but I refused to be cowed. I just looked her right in the eye to show her I knew what was going on, then returned to what I was doing

LMAO...stink eye. I almost blew coffee outta my nose.

[MatildaJ.]

With homophobes it often turns out that the most vitriolic are secretly gay themselves. So maybe this jerk secretly wishes he could dress like you and hates that you're brave where he's too fearful.

[Laura Collette]

I just want to thank you brave ladies for going out to change the world step by step. Stay safe.

[Helen_Highwater]

Yes. the majority of the population does hate us or at least disapprove of us,

Although I only have limited opportunities to go out and I know if out in day light I will almost certainly get read, I feel in this day and age the majority of folks are almost ambivalent about seeing a man dressed. Yep I've had some hard, even hateful or disgusted looks but most if anything find it at worst an amusement in what for them might be otherwise a dull average day or are just nonplussed buy it. In just the same way as what are obviously 2 gay people walking down the street or sitting in a cafe goes almost totally unnoticed. People now, the majority, are generally accepting or tolerant.

There will always be those who will find reason to hate those that are different. We just need to be aware so as to stay safe.

[Debra Russell]

Blow'em a kiss and run like he!!:D:devil:...........................Debra

[mikiSJ]

Sophie, I have never been on Bart, but I always heard it was more polite that the NYC subway system. There you can get dry humped and nobody will care, even if you do!

As for the lady in SF; we have all been accosted by someone (M, F or TG) who is a bit off. I am mostly sure it wasn't you she was upset about and be glad all she did was make noise.

[shawnsheila]

I think we are cut from the same cloth, because I slowly progressed to going out, similar to you. Now I go out and try to inter act with as many people as possible though I still feel odd approaching a male store clerk. I have been very lucky not to get those hate filled stares, and I think I would have a similar reaction you did if so. We just have to watch ourselves from some of these ignorant/hate filled people and stay safe. Never stop dressing because some dummy thought he needed to ruin someone's day. The best way to combat those hate fille folks is to give them a pleasant smile back... kill hate with kindness :)

[kimdl93]

Nothing remotely like that has happened to me...yet. I suppose it's inevitable though.

[PaulaQ]

Isha, I haven't ever had this happen to me, but it happens all the time to one of my friends. It's really tough and really scary, and potentially dangerous.

Most people don't understand us, and many hate what they don't understand.

[ophelia]

We have to accept that there will always be people who want to live in some moral construct of their own making and then judge everyone who openly or freely contradicts it. Prejudice is, unfortunately, a human condition. My outings are constructed to avoid places where that might happen. I love fashion and spas and doing female things essentially and I have no wish to do my groceries or get my oil changed enfemme. It's not so much that it is dangerous as just a drag having a comment or an evil eye like that ruin the day out.
So I check out washrooms, parking and that sort of thing in advance. I avoid any area where men, and especially inebriated men, tend to congregate.

[paulawilder]

I experienced this traveling, and couldn't wait to get back in the car and lock the doors. It was not pleasant, but I did the best I could, smiled, looked away and kept walking toward the car, glancing over my shoulder to make sure I wasn't being followed. I couldn't help myself though, as I was walking away, I had the best wiggle I've ever achieved, both in my walk and my boobs! Take that! Being who you are sometimes also mean dealing with difficult people and disapproval - but that happens in all aspects of life. It's a natural feeling though, to make sure we have our safety.

[raleighbelle]

I don't go out dressed in public, but I do buy women's clothes in some of the department stores. One time, several months back, I was looking on the clearance sale racks and an older woman gave me a really nasty look and snort, and looked like she was trying to say something nasty to me. She kept staring at me, almost like she was going to call security or something and mumbled something about a man doesn't belong in the women's clothing section. Rather than make up a story like I was buying a gift or something, I smiled and said to her "Yeah, and doesn't it really anger you when you see women shopping in the men's departments! Its just not right!" She turned around and walked away. I realize I didn't make a convert, but I felt like I made my point. Not sure why I let her bother me.