Aging and the CDer - RESPONSES FROM ALL WELCOME

[Marcelle]

Disclaimer: Before you post in response, please do not provide make-up tips for older gals as this is not the intent of the post. It is about your experience as an aging CDer. I would hate to have the thread moved to Beauty as this is not it's intent . . . thanks. :)

Hi all,

Figured it was time for another musing of Isha's somewhat odd mind. :chatterbox: You can thank Kristyn (aka Hell on Heels) for this topic as she gave me the idea. :devil:

The first time I fully dressed I was 17 years old and was in my first relationship with a gal who was shall we say was "very opened minded". It was her idea to which I responded "no way" (albeit internally I was screaming YES!) I let her talk me into it - "Sure Isha, let her" . I had just joined the military, was living in Germany, weighed 140 pounds, youthful skin and could get away for days without shaving. So by the time she was finished I made a somewhat pretty girl. That was the first and last time I dressed until last August, 32 years later.

Needless to say my first attempt at dressing 32 years later was horrendous. Staring back at me was not the pretty 17 year old girl I remembered but a slightly more mature "dude in drag" :eek:. Now I am no expert in make-up now but with much practice I think I am beginning to find my mark. However, to be honest . . . age and looking femme is something I struggle with. My skin is not elastic anymore, complexion is less than smooth, lines and crowfeet abound and those pesky dark circles under my eyes make me look like Rocky Racoon (a nod out to any Beatles fans). Let's not even go to the neck department . . . gobble, gobble. The worst part is the same products I use to create a smooth complexion (foundation) only help to accentuate the lines.

Don't get me wrong I am not complaining (okay perhaps a little) but I sometimes find myself wondering why the preoccupation with trying to look younger? I don't feel this way when I am "en boy" in fact I could not care less. However, I would be lying if I said I did not care when I am "en femme". I look around and I see a multitude of older GGs who are all beautiful in their own right with or without make-up. They have lines, sagging skin, poor complexions but still carry their age with grace and dignity. I love every laugh line, wrinkle and age worn aspect of my wife's face . . . but I still cannot make the leap to myself.

Perhaps it is just me looking in the mirror remembering that 17 year old girl or perhaps it is just vanity (probably a bit of both :battingeyelashes:). Not a big issue in my life as I know I will have to work through it and just accept myself "en femme" with a more mature look.

Just wondering if anybody else has felt this way and perhaps would like to share some thoughts for those gals who may be approaching that point in their life when the "young girl" stops staring back at you in the mirror and you see someone older instead - REMEMBER THOUGH . . . No make-up tips please. It is about acceptance of aging in this thing we do. :)

Hugs

Isha

[Teresa]

Hi Isha,
Most of us are aware of the feeling of being younger when dressed, I feel it takes ten years off me, lets face it how many GGs dress to look older ? When dressed I get the feeling is the World is a better place, it feels more stress free and I want to laugh and joke more, I suppose if you feel like that inside you come over as a younger more vibrant person. I'm surprised you've posted this as you come over as that kind of person, being old to you is years away yet ! I also do activities that keep the body active again that helps, walking the dog is great because it's a great way of interacting with other people. I always remember saying to older members of the family when taking wedding pictures, when they said they were too old, I would reply it's not what you're too old for but what you're young enough for.
Please don't go around with a paper bag on your head Isha you're certainly not ready for that yet.

[devida]

I was just looking at some photos of me when I was 19. I was really very pretty. I had beautiful skin and I didn't need to wear mascara because I had long lashes. I didn't need to wear eye shadow because my eyes were naturally sultry. I didn't need to do my eyebrows because they were black and well shaped. I didn't even need to wear female clothes because I was routinely identified as a girl. I do wear makeup to look younger and I do wear shape wear to have a more youthful body but I know I had better be realistic. I'm not going to look more than 10 years younger than I am. I'm going to look like a feminine man in his fifties, or maybe a masculine woman in her fifties. I'm not going to look like I'm younger than that and if I try to I will just look silly. Luckily my SO instantly tells me if I have done too much makeup or if I just can't wear that outfit on the street and sometimes not even in the house when she's awake. But of course I am aware of the fact of aging. I just choose to compare myself with others in my age group, not with my younger self or with they young people I see. And compared to my peers I look damned good.

[EllenJo]

I am 60 years old and over the years I see the changes and yet when I look into the mirror when dressed I see a younger female version of me. No I don't see a teen girl looking back but I do see a middle age woman instead of an old man. It is not because I work at looking younger its just that women have more options when it comes to dealing with aging. Make up, hair coloring, foundation garments, ect... It all adds up. My drab side is bald with a gray fringe of hair. Ellen Jo on the other hand has a smoother face with beautiful eyes, a flatter tummy, and a full head of beautiful auburn hair. The panty hose hide all of the scars of an active male life on my legs. My boobs are always perky and when they start to sag a bit, a new bra with new forms gets them right back in shape. The endless fashion options allow them (and us) to distract the eye from what we feel is a negative feature and allows us to enhance something else.

Like I said the teen girl we all wish was looking back may be gone but the lovely woman that's 10-15 years younger than we are, can still be found in the minds eye.
Love
Ellen Jo

[looking_good]

I wonder - sometimes - if aging gives is a different perspective on cross dressing. Perhaps "if not now, when?". A bit more thought into "what is this part of me about?". For me, I am introduced to a set of feelings and emotions that are a fuller part of the human condition that often get lost in the hurly-burly of everyday life. Call it an emotional vacation or adventure?

As to the net visual effect of being an older cross dresser...well, I have always looked with favor upon the many, many benefits of low lighting...

[mykell]

i think i know what your saying, when i do a photo day to post here and start editing i realize that the old lady is me and i missed my youth with this activity i just really embraced recently, hiding my turkey neck and wrinkles is not the easiest but when i feel down i just look into my profile and stare at my "keeper" picture. it cheers me up when i see it, the magical youthful glow about it seems to have captured my young feeling i have when i dress up.

so whether its the clothes, makeup, jewelry, hair we strive for a pleasant image of what were trying to emulate, an attractive woman.....

[jackie_p]

Isha:

I know what you are getting at. I feel the same way. In fact I sometimes get depressed when I look in the mirror and see an old lady but don't mind my older male self. I think it is because my female self, in my minds eye, is still young. It probably would be different if I had grown old gracefully as a female but I didn't get that chance and my mind has a hard time accepting the jump from the young girl I was (I was 8 my first time) to the old lady I am now. It just makes me try harder.

[noeleena]

Hi,

I never ever saw a young girl in any mirror , so i never had to worry about do i have to look a certian way in my life, or dress . im over 66 im happy in ( knife edge here, ) how i am body wise and getting there as far as my facial features are concerned .

myself as far as my facial features are, i would have to go back to a photo taken in 1860's of a woman with very masculine facial features, yet she looks quite lovely in ...her... own way now had she smiled that would have made so much difference,
okay i have the smile .

really underneath my emotions im really happy in who i am ,

as i.... ya ya ....i know , . age, im happy with that as i know i wont look so much like a male as i no doubt have over the years, yet this is only one small part of who i am .

I accept i have lost some of my maleness facial features over the last 10 odd years, and more so the last 3, nothing major just gentle lovely little features.

I never wonted to look younger most of my life i have been very mature and from age 10. and i had been told by our head master in 1957, Mom knew that hey i still did kid things , and really it was just Mom and myself ,

so i had to grow up quicker than most kids because of what i had to go through and do health and caring for my Mother because of ...major... surgerys, so that helped shape who i was to become through out life,

I allso had a different perspective of life as well more to do with being female so that was shown in little ways, looking after other girls as sisters or more as an older sister,

I was more a career than a user so i was trusted more, and those around me were safe and knew i was there for them.

Im allso fortunate in haveing lovely skin and i get comments about that, i allso see something else going on i think your heading into this,

Right, get the right words,.....many of those i know my close women friends some younger and some older do not have the lovely skin and complextion i have, even my skin tones, hardly any lines a few yes of cause, yet over all i am well placed to look better facial wise for a few more years .

reasons why, my background going back to my Mother who was a lovely woman and had a beauty about her that i see in our daughter - Kaylyn .

my grandmother and those before her a beauty that was part of our german heritage down the line so i may not have been complete as a fully functioning female ,

i inherited a lot that has given me more than our male family as i look back at them had i been a full male i know what my facial features would be like some years ago.

Now heading into your looking younger, or wonting to, so i will say i have bypassed that part of our what our males would look like, my own hormones took care of that as well.

You know , i know others will say they dont belive me .... im happy with how i look over all. happy in who i am and have a lovely life, and what i'v been given in how i was brought up and taught and learnt have helped in my becoming a woman of worth,

So i do have a beauty its not as a young woman, its of a mature loving careing woman. one thats worth working towards .

...noeleena...

[samantha rogers]

Well, I certainly know these feelings. I remember very vividly the girl from the mirror twenty years ago and I know full well how hard I try to still get back to that despite all the same marks of age you mention. I have had this exact same discussion in my mind quite often. And just as you say, I also contrast the difference between femme and drab, and find I also dont much care in drab (though I dont think I have ever stopped dressing in boy mode the way I did thirty years ago - still a punk rocker at heart...tee hee) So why, as you ask, is it so important to stay young en femme?
Is it the emphasis on youth put out by fashion and advertising? Is it that we do this to become "pretty" and that part of that we have come to accept as meaning young?
Heck, I don't know...but I do know I use every trick I can find to forstall the inevitable. And in the meantime, more and more, I find myself looking at older women, seeking out the elegant,sophisticated ladies, and studying how they wear their hair, or cover the flaws, or divert attention from the shortcomings. I watch for the ones who carry themselves with style and grace (especially the taller ones...tee hee) and I try to learn.
I think that, short of spending a lot on plastic surgery, style and a sense of humor are about all we have, honey.
The key I think is in trying to find that elusive grace that the most beautiful older women all possess.
But Isha...good for you that you are beginning to consider these things so early, now, easily a good twenty years before you need to worry, you gorgeous girl, you!

[Katey888]

Isha - that's prompted some interesting thoughts for me..

As I've revealed before, my first proper head to toe attempt at transformation was only about mid-2013 and I only get a chance to do this maybe every 3-4 weeks or so... so I've never experienced a 17-year old Katey (though I'm sure she would have been stunning if somewhat naive... :devil:) - my point being, perhaps I'm fortunate that I've only ever experienced me looking much the way I do now, and maybe just getting a bit more practice with the makeup is actually offsetting real ageing, at least for a while...

My rational self is telling me that I won't want to do this beyond a certain point - at the moment that probably means if I can emulate a presentable forty-something, and be age-appropriate fashionable, then I'll feel good about it... I somehow doubt that my TGness is enough to keep me going beyond that... but who knows...? :)

I just can't comprehend the idea of a grey wig, or (no offence to older members here) going through the transformation thing to only look my real age... the apparent age reduction thing is probably part of the allure of doing this whole thing now - not all of it, but certainly part...

Have to work on vanity reduction classes - but the odd thing is I don't care as much about my male side... Go figure!?!

Katey x

[kimdl93]

A dear aunt of mine once observed that every morning when she looked in the mirror she was surprised to see an old lady looking back at her. As I've grown older I'm beginning to understand in a much more personal way, just what she meant. I don't 'feel' old, but time is nonetheless taking it's toll. I certainly don't attempt to look like a twenty something, I know my limitations full well. But I can't help wonder if I might have only started earlier.

Btw, I never was that slim and small...at 17 I was nearly 6'3" and approaching 200 lbs. still a girl can dream ;)

[Martha G]

Basically I look at least 15 years younger when I get dressed.

One of the main things is that I do not have hardly any wrinkles and need little makeup.

But I do realize that there is a 71 year old person under the image and I can't do anything about that.

As I have said before, I am into creating costume characters and am rapidly becoming an expert impersonator of elderly women, such as grannies, maiden aunts , hags and some just plain old broads.

However, I do prefer the dress up that makes me look ( and feel) younger!

http://i346.photobucket.com/albums/p410/bessielouquimby/MarthaYoungandold2_zps0f6379c3.jpg (http://s346.photobucket.com/user/bessielouquimby/media/MarthaYoungandold2_zps0f6379c3.jpg.html)

[Melissa in SE Tn]

Isha ... Very good thread! As for Melissa, she has just woken up from a several decades cd hibernation . She doesn't have a history to reflect upon or draw comparisons to. She is loving being a 59 year old woman!! Yes she wishes that time & age would vanish so that she could be a 20 -30 year old femme fatal, but reality tells her that she can still feel attractive & feminine as long as she longs to be Melissa. I love being feminine. It brings such peace & harmony to my life . I can bring peace & harmony into my life . Aging is inevitable & the consequences can only be mollified by accepting the peace in being feminine. I don't like wrinkles or a flabby gut , but melissa can overlook those frailties as long as she can feel the peace in being feminine. Always look for that peace-- mel

[sometimes_miss]

I think that one reason I never worry about how I look when I dress as a girl, is that there is no one that I am trying to dress up for. I've never wanted to attract men, and know that the possibility of finding a woman who would accept me as a girl is virtually impossible. When I was younger, in my teens, when I could have passed, even then the facial deformity was alway there, telling me no one would want to look at me anyway. So there was never a time, ever, when dressing was an effort to pass or involve others. For the past 15 years, since the divorce, and even for a short time before that, I never looked in the mirror to see what I looked like; I already knew. What I needed was what I saw, looking out at the world with me in it; how seeing and feeling the girl clothes on me made me feel was all that mattered. So when I come home, and change into the outfit a 15 year old teenage girl might wear, I feel perfectly at home in that role, until something jolts me out of my temporary fantasy of being someone, something, else entirely. But even after the momentary break, I quickly go right back to where I was.....teenage girl, learning how to fit into the world that way. And I've been 'stuck' in that 'mode' whenever dressed, now, for almost 40 years, because I'll never be able to grow out of it, I'll never progress to college girl Lexi, or adult Lexi, because I've never lived through the adolescent girl phase to grow up from it. And, I've learned that I have to accept that. So I have.

[mikiSJ]

I simply want to look like a 67 year old woman with an excellent sense of well being and good health. I have the 67 part down, working on the woman thing with hormones and I am starting to feel very good about myself. Now, if I could solve some health issues I would be in a good stead.

[larry]

I am not pretty-dressed or undressed--yes the pun is intentional. Getting old S----. However the alternative is not good..

[Amanda M]

Isha - really, you need to start being realistic. I don't care how old you are, you look really, really great! For me, a layer of makeup trowelled on ( sorry, I mean artfully and discreetly applied) takes a good chunk of my 68 years - what more can I ask for?

If I am allowed a little bit of self-approval, I do remember being a slim, 30 year old quite gorgeous redhead. Into the car, out on the town, Weayyyy! What the Hell happened?

You hit the nail on the head when you said "I look around and I see a multitude of older GGs who are all beautiful in their own right with or without make-up. They have lines, sagging skin, poor complexions but still carry their age with grace and dignity." Therein, I believe, is the key. The world is obsessed by youthful lovlieness - I mean who would not not want to like Kylie Minogue? (Sorry, Kylie, I know you are not in the first flush of youth, but you look great)

Nevertheless, some of us oldies scrub up well!

Hugs,
Amanda

[Adriana Moretti]

i look alot younger than I really am, and the time is flying by...but there are alot of beautiful older women out there to look up to as role models...Diane Keaton comes to mind...and all the gals from that tv show Hot In Cleveland even Betty White ! As I age I can see myself heading in those directions...especialy Diane Keaton I have had a crush on her since The Godfather...she looks great

[CarlaWestin]

Isha, thank you for the wonderful thread. And Martha! Honey, you look fabulous! I think the occurrence that dressing up making us look younger is just a fortunate byproduct of the activity. We paint on the desirable colors and tones in all the right places. The foundations, forms and clothing put all the visual lines in the right places. A pink Rago all-in-one with fishnets and maryjanes makes me look breathtaking! And I'm 58. Isha, I checked your profile for age but it's not listed. I'm guessing from your comments you're about 40-50. The most perfect thing that comes with age is self acceptance. I'm finally at peace with myself, crossdresser or otherwise. This is the wonderful bounty we harvest from a lifetime of trials and tribulations.

So, what am I wearing right now? Gladiator sandals, jean skirt, soft charcoal leotard, Chantelle bra ($5.99 at Savers) and my morning beard stubble. And I'm feeling very fem, mature and at peace with myself.

[Sheila11]

Getting old sucks.
I do not have any pics of the young lady I tried to be 40 years ago. I do not see the younger girl or even remember what she looked like. I do see the sagging jowls, the dark circles, the crows feet, sagging eyelids, and laugh lines in both male and female persona, and I do not like them. I see the young ladies with their flawless tight skin and beautiful full hair and am green with envy.

Sooooo.... I do my best to look nice as a 50+ woman. Dress nice, spend too much time on makeup, and hide some of the flaws behind glasses and bangs.

I would leap at the chance to be 15 again.

[Sophie Yang]

Isha,

Beauty is for the young and aging is not always kind. “Older” women, for whatever reason, generally do not like to divulge, discuss, or feel their age. I would throw weight into this category as well. Most of the hang-up, with age and weight, is probably more to do with societal norms molded with the constant drumming of commercial advertisements. Whether we admit it or not, the constant repetition influences how we feel and see ourselves and the world. In our case, how we see our two selves. The constant advertising pitches of youth and beauty only emphasizes to those of us past our prime, that our prime really is in the past.

Age is also a state of mind. In the mind’s eye, it sees many different possibilities, even impossibilities. It can see into the past and into the future. Probably for the most of us, the past was a simpler, happier, more care free time in our lives. Getting en-femme is a little magical. It does take off a number of years, but not as many as we would like. It transforms us maybe back to the happier simpler times.

I have been talking with a young lady who is going through the college application process. Her first choice is Reed College. I applied there back in 1973 and my son graduated in 2011. It is transformational to listen to her talk of her hopes and aspirations for her future. Maybe it is just her youthful, fresh optimism that kind of transforms me back to when I was that age.

By the same token, those of us who have raised our kids and looking forward to retirement have opportunities and income that we never had when younger. In the end, getting hung up on aging doesn’t add any value to your day or your time out and about.

[Danielle/Mo]

Agree with Sheila11 that getting old sucks really,really bad. I get depressed every time I think about this topic, sometimes to the point of locking my bedroom door and crying. I also would leap at the chance to be 15 again . But it would have to be in today's society. Going back to being 15 at the time that I really was 15 (1971) would not help much. I am lucky that I have a family ( ex wife,15 yr old Daughter, 20 yr old son, even ex wife's current husband) that accept and encourage me to be myself. They even go out in public with Danielle and help with clothing, hair and makeup tips. This helps me be less depressed about being old.

[Jenniferathome]

Isha, aging is only problem if you try to defy it. To me, there is nothing more sad than seeing a person of x years trying to be x-20, or more, years old. It just doesn't work. I think women do have an advantage with makeup in that, if done properly, they can reduce their visible years a bit. We cross dressers can do the same. But as you mention, one can carry their age with grace and dignity. That's called age-appropriate. Embrace your age int he same way that one can embraced their cross dressing .

[Lorileah]

A dear aunt of mine once observed that every morning when she looked in the mirror she was surprised to see an old lady looking back at her.

and I, as time goes by, am thrilled to see a mature younger woman looking at me. Now I can make myself younger and softer.

I hate the external aging process too but I do stupid things to hasten it like golf and working in the yard. I do however fell the same inside as I did 30 years ago. Age is a number, that is all. I would have loved to see what I would have looked like totally "en femme" 40 years ago but I was busy trying to fit a macho mold at the time. Took me 2 years in the Army to grow a mustache and then people asked if I forgot to shave that morning...I would kill for that now.

[Alice Torn]

Isha, I am 60 next month, and have accepted that i am a mature outside lady, when dressed. But a gray wigged, lady showing some legs! But, the skirts and dresses are mostly knee length or a little longer. Time changes a lot of things, but not everything.

[Beverley Sims]

I was fortunate to live my dream and no amount of drinking from the fountain of youth or even the Trevi Fountain is going to bring it back.
I am still told I need to grow up by old people but that won't happen either.
I see too many people traveling around the world younger than me and they cant even run with a heavy suitcase. :)

[NicoleScott]

Those of us who are closeted aren't burdened by any age-appropriate or good taste rules.

[Tammy Lynn Tx]

Beverly, we may have to grow older but no one can convince me we have to grow up.

I'm in my mid 50's and many years ago didn't need makeup to look nice but after many years outdoors and driving I have started looking for foundation in 5 gallon buckets. I don't regret getting older but sometimes when I look in the mirror and see my mother looking back at me, it can be a bit spooky.
I have learned to just enjoy life while we can and be who we are.

[ReineD]

However, to be honest . . . age and looking femme is something I struggle with. My skin is not elastic anymore, complexion is less than smooth, lines and crowfeet abound and those pesky dark circles under my eyes make me look like Rocky Racoon (a nod out to any Beatles fans). Let's not even go to the neck department . . . gobble, gobble. The worst part is the same products I use to create a smooth complexion (foundation) only help to accentuate the lines.

This happens to every GG. And most of us aren't happy about aging (to varying degrees), when we discover that we've entered the age of invisibility. Fundamentally, it has to do with our bodies reflecting the fact that we are no longer fertile and thus no longer attractive to men.

Here's an article by a woman who explains it very well. I feel every bit as she does, especially the part about mourning my years as an active mother:

http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-to-Deal-with-Aging-Valerie-Monroe-on-Getting-Older

Here's a painting by Gustav Klimt that reflects this rather well:

The Three Ages of Woman (1905) (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c4/Gustav_Klimt_020.jpg)

I don't know how to translate this to a hetero CD/TG who is not wired to be attractive to the opposite sex unless it is still a wish to be attractive to men?

[Diane Edwards]

Over the years I've had to change as I've aged. My clothing had to change as well, moving towards more age appropriate attire. (Let's face it, I can't pass for 20, 30, or 40. Well, maybe 40 if I try really hard!) My natural hair color is salt-and-pepper, as are the few wigs I have (with one exception). I have to admit that aging sucks as I feel it limits some of my clothing choices. But since there's no real way around it I try to make it work as best I can.

[Donnagirl]

Hi Isha,

Most of my crossdressing is covert, is for comfort only, limited to varying levels of underdressing. In that mode I really don't care what I look like, with the exception of not wanting to 'reveal' anything. I managed to spend most of yesterday with only shoes and jumper being male.

On the rare occasion I can let Donna out, everything changes... Having thought about it, Donna wants to look and dress like the women I am most attracted to, and the women I am most envious of. Personally, I have no desire to transition and do not want to be just a female version of me.

Perhaps it is more of a fantasy, and I don't fantasise about fat, middle aged, bald women... Although very much aspirational, I want Donna to be what I am not. I want Donna to be young and beautiful. Maybe I too am a victim of modern advertising techniques. I'm struggling to loose weight, exercise has aggregated old injuries, suffer the constriction of shape wear but I will continue. (Continue to fail, but the challenge is motivation enough.)

Donna may (will) never have your courage to venture into the real world, will live mostly in my imagination and will probably want to get younger as I get older...

Thanks, I enjoy your posts.... You make me think quite deeply about me... Sometimes quite - surprisingly - revealing..

Hugs,

[Genny B]

This topic has been heavy on my mind. I have been crossdressing for years, but except for one time at a fund raiser I have never been out in public dressed. I loved that fund raiser as I had a blast, even though I made the news and took allot of ribbing. I even got called into my Commanding Officers office about it, but I think he was jealous in the end, seriously. Anyway, I am suppose to attend a local group's meeting in a months time and am already thinking about how to get ready. But it's not like it was when I was 20 something.
Now I am thinking of things like how to hide the scars on my legs from my knee replacements? Or how I finally got up the nerve to get the tabs (tags?) removed from my armpits last week so that I could bear my pits if I want to? And how do I hide the barrel stomach? Makeup ain't going to help with these issues! LOL! The old women compression hose will help with the legs I guess. What a shame. Yeah, the younger CD's need to appreciate the days they have right now!
Genny B

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Isha, Thanks for the taking an idea and running with it. Your somewhat odd mind is working just fine.
I know how your feeling, obviously, we are in the same boat after all!
Thankfully we do have makeup, but better yet you make the rules.
Aging can't be stopped, but we can do our best to slow it down, even if it's only in our minds.
Do your best to look, act, and feel young, and hopefully that is what others will see.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[sanderlay]

For myself... my girl inside is still maturing as a woman And she is sometimes attracted to clothes that 20 to 30 year old's might wear, like the bikini I recently bought. Even though I'm 58 in this male body I'm in good shape for my age. But I know time is catching up as I look in the mirror. Male pattern baldness is takings its toll and I'm looking at hats in my future and probably some wigs or hair pieces. Don't get me started on wriggles, especially under the eyes. Some times it's nice to have some blur in your vision and not see all the details.

But I remember in my youth spending a lot of time with my Grandmother, enjoying her company. Tragically she passed from cancer when I was still in my early teens, which was a blow for me as we were close. She was in her mid 60's. After that my Mother and I took care of her Grandmother who was still alive, my Great Grandmother. She was in her mid 80's and living in her own home. I would describe her as a beautiful woman with a crown of silver hair she weaved on her head. I always remember her wearing pullover long dresses, skin colored hosiery and sensible shoes. We took her places, as she did not drive, a cane and purse in her hands, and enjoyed that she was still with us, enjoyed that she played the organ and created beautiful music. Yes she was wrinkled but they were a part of her, her wisdom and her beauty, and we looked past the imperfections of cat hair on her clothes.

My point is that these wrinkles are a part of who we are now. We may no longer be in our youth but have experiences and wisdom of living life. And each and ever wrinkle can quite possibly have a story to share or and experience we remember. So do we really want to hide our experience and wisdom? Would I want to relive my life and go back to my youth, re-learn what I have learned? Personally... No. I cherish my experience and wisdom... and every wriggle and gray hair it produced.

My Great Grandmother was beautiful to me and that's how I want to live my life, aging gracefully and with dignity.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Isha, The numbers in your story sounds like you are about 50yrs. old but the text of the story sounds like you are 75yrs. old.
GGs' do age too but they know how to hide it.
I'm 71yrs. old and I know that I'm not a 30 something, one thing that helps me is tinted glasses for the eyes.
Beauty knows no age limits .

Your mirror can be your best friend or your worst enemy !

[Tinkerbell-GG]

Reine, that Oprah article has me clinging on to the last of my thirties, and my children for dear life!!! I will never complain again that this time of life is too busy/hard/relentless. I'm going to embrace every minute knowing that the other side is a lot less fulfilling.

Though, I liked how she said she might be invisible, but people will know she's there! Isha, I say take that advise and run with it! :)

[ophelia]

Don't we all dress too young? I was lucky to get some time with a professional for "personal stylist.com" and learned that I had been dressing about 15 years too young. that didn't mean I need to dress "old", in fact I am more convincing and classy dressing as an attractive, fashionable and fit woman of my age would.

[paulawilder]

Hi Isha. Great thread. I'm 61 and have been dressing for several decades. I've always been told I look 10-20 years younger when I'm female, and I actually feel younger and more vibrant as well. However, I have maintained a wardrobe in the past that spans all the ages, and wigs that go from youthful to salt and pepper to silver, and vary my look from day-to-day, depending on my mood and whim. If I'm going out, I never dress as grandma or a teenager, but something in the 40's, typically. I think of myself in the "cougar" age group, and would love to be picked up at a bar by a younger man (in fantasies, at least!) When the time comes that I can't wear the 4 inch heels when I'm out, I'll probably change the wardrobe a bit. Until then, I say span the ages!

[Christen]

Hi Isha!
As a couple have said, and I agree, grace and dignity are the keys, I think. I look for inspiration from women my age who look fantastic, adore Helen Mirren, adore classic style. Apart from skincare, I try, having a good fashion sense is paramount. Ageing, we all have to deal with this, but hey! at least we CD'ers get to retreat to our guy side. GG's are under heaps more pressure from society to keep looking good.

[raleighbelle]

Our society values youth more in women than in men. As a woman ages, she gets old, and as a man ages, he gets more distinguished. Not fair, but that seems to be the way society sees it.

For me, like many others have said, I do not dress for public viewing, so I can wear what I do more for how I feel than how I look, and it is a lot more fun to dress as a younger woman. If I were passable, I would not go out in public like I often dress at home.

[ReineD]

Reine, that Oprah article has me clinging on to the last of my thirties, and my children for dear life!!! I will never complain again that this time of life is too busy/hard/relentless. I'm going to embrace every minute knowing that the other side is a lot less fulfilling.

Savor it while you can!

But in defense of being invisible, it's not that bad. :p Past a certain age, you stop caring about the appreciative glances.

As to the kids, do savor every single minute that you have with them.

[Launa]

This has happened to me many times over the last few years. I sure wished I had dressed more in my younger years when I looked better.

Now I will take it as it comes and start budgeting for FFS! lol

[larry]

Ophelia,
Could you expand a little more on personal stylist ? When I search there are hundreds listed. Was it a store person or a person in that business ??

[MissTee]

Offering an inverse perspective, even as a guy the aging thing is difficult. Lines, wrinkles, skin tags, age spots and the turkey neck. To ReineD's point, not being a hottie to the girls anymore is downright depressing when you realize you've hit that point. Anymore, I think about it yet I do not obsess over it. I'm still young in my head.

Hence, the blessing of my CD side is that I do pay close attention to skincare and consequently I'm not as "battered" in appearance as most guys my age. Guys as a whole still do not focus on skin care. Ladies, on the other hand go all out. I model their behavior. I routinely get facials, do the Clarisonic/Obagi/SkinMedica morning and evening routines, use good eye cream and sunscreen, etc. While I can't stop the effects of aging, I can slow them down and that's what I focus on.

[MsVal]

There have been a number of classy, successful, confident, and good looking women in their mid-60s that I have known through the years. It is not a compromise to emulate their style.

Best wishes
MsVal

[Martha G]

Hi Isha!

I just made 71. When I dress in female attire I look 15 to 20 years younger.

I do like to wear short skirts, but something that is tasteful and not gaudy. I don't want to look like a teenager. I have seen many women in their 70's who wear short skirts but look very good in them.

Being a mature person, I like to act and dress like one.

No old maid or granny outfits for me.

However, sometimes at my costume events I do dress as a granny, ugly hag or witch, evil Duchess , Mrs Bates or hopefully one day A Wicked Stepmother.

However, I think that I will eventually attend many costumes simply dressed as a woman and see if anyone can tell.

I may be 71 but I still have a youthful spirit.

[Sallee]

Isha, I can relate I still havephotos from 40 yrs ago I looked pretty good I am amazed at how good I looked and when I am dressed now I still feel that way but realit bites and I don't look that good I do look like an older lady well maybe a dude in a dress but it is still fun and I still get out I just wish I got out more back then. The moral of the story, We are what we are we might as well have fun and not worry about it.

[samantha rogers]

Just for reference...getting older does not mean you cannot be beautiful...some of my favorites...

[samantha rogers]

And a few more...

[JamieTG]

I'll be honest in that I've always been very vain; both in male and female mode. So vain that my avatar photo is 15 years old!! I'm still trying to accept that I turned 60 last year and stop comparing myself to the way I looked 30 years ago. I'm sure that its something every human being has to deal with when they get into the senior years. I just have to keep reminding myself to thank God that I'm very healthy and active and can still enjoy doing the things I've always done; just at a slower pace.

[Janine cd]

I am 75 and still love to dress up as if I were 50, but I know that the illusion is no longer true. I've given up most of the eye makeup and have toned down the jewelry and flamboyant hair styles.

[Kate Simmons]

My biggest asset is knowing I don't have to prove anything to anyone and just enjoy being myself and having fun. I simply don't concern myself with the age thing.That takes a huge weight off my friend. BTW, I'll be 67 this June. ;):)

[JanetM.]

I share many of the feelings expressed here. When I dress, I really don't want to look like an old woman ready for the nursing home. Instead I dress like the woman that I wish I could be. I guess that is the exciting part of being a CD for me at least.

[Krystenw]

I'll be 65 in a few days and I'm fighting aging tooth and nail. Since I retired I have pretty much transitioned to a full time Gurl. No HRT or any of that. Just a loving wife that actually prefers it this way.
And as has been mentioned previously, I'm not out to prove anything to anyone. My wife and I are happy and that's all that counts.

[Claire Cook]

My biggest asset is knowing I don't have to prove anything to anyone and just enjoy being myself and having fun. I simply don't concern myself with the age thing.That takes a huge weight off my friend. BTW, I'll be 67 this June. ;):)


Kate, this older gal is with you ;) . I'm way past miniskirts and looking like I'm 30-ish. Here in Florida, I'd just like to fit in with all of the other ladies my age (70...).


BYW, there was an earlier series of posts about the advantages of being an older gal ... http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?206022-Advantages-of-an-older-CDer

[Martha G]

I like to think and act young but I do want to look proper and not like a teenager.

Though I am 71 and do like shorter skirts, this outfit pictured below is a favorite of mine and makes me look like a mature woman with a youthful outlook!

http://i346.photobucket.com/albums/p410/bessielouquimby/LouiecostumedasMarthareadytogowithlargepursecroppe d350_zpsc632feb8.jpg (http://s346.photobucket.com/user/bessielouquimby/media/LouiecostumedasMarthareadytogowithlargepursecroppe d350_zpsc632feb8.jpg.html)

[LICutie]

Thanks Isha et al, for a great thread. Very profound subject and equally insightful replies that i have to say each make valid points on their own and together!

Aging, imho, certainly has has its ups & downs for sure whether its mortality awareness, regret & remorse, and or fulfillment, and peace of mind. For me it's a mixed bag in drab or drag. However somehow when in drag as i am getting older, it feels better (like a wine!)

There is a great line by Freud, to me which is a great metaphor for aging, which is something like "if the young knew and if the old could". Of course one might go down the shoulda coulda woulda street. As far as missing the window of our youth and now trying to beet mother nature in our old age. But we did what we did and we didn't do what we didn't do.

It may be a general human experience, too, that as we are young we can't wait to get old and when we are old we pine to be young.

If one looks at gender and clothes as a human societal & cultural invention, then it's all drag...

IMO, though, female clothing is definitely more kind to the eyes (even if it's ones own eyes) at any age and crossdressing seems to have a rejuvenating effect where it gives a certain spark, shine, and energy to its wearers.

Also perhaps part time CDs TGs only have a small overall amount of hours on the "engine" so in essence are still new, young or barely used; maybe if one was FT 24 7, it may be different? Maybe not.

Like i said before, in drag, i feel an energy glow that i rarely know in drab.

So come to think of it, maybe this is our fountain of youth? :drink:

[Candice Mae]

I'll be 27 in a month, been dressing since I was 12. I've spent over half of my life trying to look like the woman that I am. The little teenage girl is long gone, but the woman is starting to appear. I wish I had the guts to be who I am when I was younger, but the little teenage girl was lost wondering the streets of denial in never, never land.

[Ms. Alexis]

Though I never dressed .. or perhaps better put I did dress occasionally but wasn't a CD when younger (I never even really came out to myself / realized my true gender until the late 30's) I can see that now being over 50 it's harder to look decent, especially in female attire. Of course since I've never been able to pull of anything more than being the bearded circus lady ;-) I guess I have an out for perhaps not having such a hard time with it. I guess the other part is that I've never done the breast forms and wigs trying to be passable since I just want to match the inside and outside (to the point of sometimes taking hormones not to transition, but more to feel more comfortable in my body... making the inside and outside match).

[Stephanie Julianna]

As I get older I find that I have more choices with fashions. Maybe it's just the times. Like others, I think I look younger dressed, at least that is what people tell me and I don't want to push too hard and find out that they are just being kind. The fact is that I feel younger when I can use hair and makeup to hide some of the aging process. DAP is great for filling in wrinkles (and Drywalls). As time passes I find that each age has it's advantages and surprises. The constant is when I put that last coat of lipstick on and see that woman in the mirror again. It's as much fun now as it was in my younger days. No regrets yet

[LICutie]

As I get older I find that I have more choices with fashions. Maybe it's just the times. Like others, I think I look younger dressed, at least that is what people tell me and I don't want to push too hard and find out that they are just being kind. The fact is that I feel younger when I can use hair and makeup to hide some of the aging process. DAP is great for filling in wrinkles (and Drywalls). As time passes I find that each age has it's advantages and surprises. The constant is when I put that last coat of lipstick on and see that woman in the mirror again. It's as much fun now as it was in my younger days. No regrets yet

Stephanie, i agree with the "looking younger dressed", for sure; although, for me, it may be tied to an internal feeling. perhaps dressing makes us feel both rejuvenated and energized so it shows that in our glow?

I also love what you say about each age's "advantages and surprises"; that is so true (though I guess we have to make sure we keep our eyes open otherwise we might miss them!).

Ditto on seeing the woman in the mirror again, and how it's remained fun and even fulfilling over the years.

My main question, though, is does DAP really work because in a pinch i have used a variation of Russian dressing as makeup (along with modified t shirts as dresses...) for dressing around the house! :D

Hugs,
Lil

[marsha leanne]

Isha, thanks for the thread. I too am struggling with the age thing, at 61, the body is showing the effects of the mileage even as the brain screams NNOOO!

I have no pics of me younger, they are all gone. My avitar is the first pic in over 20 years. It was a shock and a wakeup call.

I feel great, and Now I need to adjust to the older woman before me and not the young gal of my memory.

i never dressed exotically, was always more of the classic style, but now I need to learn a different style all over again. This is exciting and Marsha is more than up to the task.

Candace, I love your style and am excited to watch the woman you become. You are an inspriation.

To the ladies of grace (age) here, I watch all of you, as This gal gets her gilrliness back in order!

[Bria]

Isha, at my age (73) I can accept the fact that I can at best look like a "mature" woman. I dress in a style of late 50s to 60s year old women. I can only fool myself so much!!

Hugs Bria

[Dianne S]

I'm 47 now. I cross-dressed in public from when I was about 25 until 29 or so, then took a long break until I was 46.

I definitely look less youthful now than I did back then. However, I'm lucky in that I'm small (even for a GG... 5'2") and slim with long hair of my own. I also have a much better eye for fashion and makeup than I did when I was younger. So although I probably could have looked prettier in my younger days, I think I actually pass better now than I could have before.

Yeah, aging is kind of sad. But it's better than the alternative.

I know I do not always pass... I get stares when I'm out and about in malls, etc. However, I also know that I sometimes do pass because I've interacted with people at close range who've called me "ma'am" and have not shown any visible reaction to my appearance.

[rian]

Dear Isha
During all these years I followed my slow pace into aging with cross dressing ,, I noticed like all ladies getting older is spending more time on the mirror trying to adjust the aging process by manipulating it..... by adding additives which are fun and pleasurable ,,,Yet always trying to look my proper age ....At younger times sexy female imitation bodies was the goal...now a days looking a lovely lady is enough for me ....being a woman is the target .....with all what comes with it ....

[ClaraKay]

I've come very late to the party at 66 years, now 67. I never liked the way I looked, and made no attempt to remedy that feeling until recently. As a man growing older, as my hairline receded and the wrinkles spread, that feeling only intensified. But, a funny thing happened since I started crossdressing and found joy in it. I discovered things about myself that I never considered before. For example, one can find warmth in a smile, joy in the eyes, strength in the body, and fervor in mind. As Clara, I now take more interest in myself and my appearance. I look to emphasize my positives and disguise my negatives. The result is a certain confidence in, and satisfaction about, who I am, and how I appear, despite many physical flaws and the ravages of advancing years. Is that vanity? Sure, but so what? Vanity has motivated me to lose weight, to exercise more, to project myself in a way that I never did as a man. It has helped my marriage, too, as my new found enthusiasm is starting to rub off on my wife. It seems to me that at any age, we should strive for an authentic, healthy, pleasant, confident appearance that reflects the sense of who we are. In many ways the discovery of my transgender identity, and the way I express it, has been a kind of rebirth for me. It offers a whole new way of looking at the world, and has inspired new interest in life. Isn't that what really counts?

[AKADonna]

Having never dressed en femme until last year, my only frame of reference is from getting madeover by a professional (Phoebe Cross). She suggested that I should makeup, dress and accessorize to blend in as a mature woman. Therefore, I purchased a stylish grey wig, some longer skirts and casual flat shoes as well as a pair of glasses that all help me to blend in with other ladies in my age group.

As Phoebe applied the makeup, though, the skin of my face began to look so smooth and my features so nicely highlighted by makeup that I really feel 10-15 years younger than my male appearance. The feminine urges that we all experience have become increasingly stronger and more frequent the older I get. I just love it!:straightface: