Do you wish to be a full transexual ? [Archive] - Crossdressers.com - #1 Community & Forum for Crossdressers, Family and Friends

Katey888

04-12-2014, 01:49 PM

Hello Sharon... Guessing you might be a GG amongst us, which is fine... :)

To answer your questions from my perspective...

No - I don't wish to transition - I don't believe I am transexual as such.

I don't know the reason that I CD - I know how it makes me feel; it makes me feel right - I think it's important that you understand that CDing is not always followed by transitioning... In fact it's quite rare - and the reason that CDing happens is generally for different reasons.

I would also not want to have real breasts... although you've spotted that many (not all) of us do try to emulate how real women appear, again, this is not definitively linked to permanent body changes or transition.

And actually I enjoy being a man all day, most days, as I only have a few hours every 2-3 weeks to satisfy my needs.... Again, this is not unusual.

I get the feeling that, having spoken about being afraid and having the guts to do something, you're perhaps not viewing us in the best light...? :)

That's OK - but I would encourage you to read more here about why we feel we do this and why we need to do it. And try to understand a little more about what it means to be transgender as there is a very broad mosaic or spectrum of folk who fit under this banner..

For example, I consider myself TG now - perhaps only very mildly - but why in heaven's name would I desire to do such a thing if there wasn't something very deep driving me? I don't understand why it is - but I know that it is...

Perhaps you'd also consider posting an intro in the Introductions... section and telling us a little about yourself. Right now it's like you've just walked up to some stranger at a party and started asking some deep and potentially intimate questions... So tell us about yourself too... Why you're here, why you want to know...? It'd be the polite thing to do.... :)

Katey x

suchacutie

04-12-2014, 02:13 PM

Hi and welcome! My answer is probably a bit involved in that the best we can figure I need both of my gendered selves. What that means to me is that when I transition it's mental as well as physical. My wife has said that Tina is sweet, and we know Tina has her own likes and dislikes, many of which have a different twist from my masculine self.

So the direct answer to your question becomes that Tina would be delighted to be completely transitioned, but since I need to transition back to husband and father, there are necessary limitations. Compromises are a part of life and this is no different.

Beverley Sims

04-12-2014, 02:22 PM

Sharon,
I missed my opportunity years ago mostly through lack of information, I make the most of what I have lived through and have no regrets.

Zylia

04-12-2014, 02:35 PM

Ah, first post and you start with the 'big' question, I like that. I think you just kind of answered it yourself as well. Many cross-dressers won't ever transition because they don't feel they should have been born as women. As a crude oversimplification, cross-dressers are men who want to 'be women' or wear women's clothing sometimes, very often or even almost always, MtF transsexuals are women who want to be themselves. There's no such thing as being 'only CD', that's a gross underestimation of what it actually means to be a cross-dresser.

Lexi Moralas

04-12-2014, 02:39 PM

I am good like this I would never want to go full time. But now if I could magically transform in to a GG For a few hours at a time when ever I wanted to now that's would be awesome lol

Nikki A.

04-12-2014, 02:44 PM

To say that I haven't thought about it would be a lie. When I do have to go back to drab, I am a little sad
But in my case I don't think I'd like being a female all the time also. I do like being a guy also.

Bima

04-12-2014, 03:03 PM

The simple answer is no. I don't want to be a operated male-to-female (no offense to anyone, it is just not me). I mostly enjoy being male.

If science were so perfected, e.g. by allowing reprogramming the body genetically, that one could become 100% female, I don't think it would be enough for me. I would not like to be just any woman.

However, with a perfected science, allowing for becoming 100% female, I would seriously consider it, provided I could decide for a look that I liked.

If I could magically change from one female look to another, i.e being 100% female and according to will, I would not hesitate a second. :-)

/Bima

PaulaQ

04-12-2014, 03:30 PM

Nobody in their right mind would want to be a transsexual. A better question is "are you really a woman or a man." Being stuck in the wrong body sucks.

Feel free to ask me about my experiences with gender dysphoria - death would have been a mercy at times.

Diane Edwards

04-12-2014, 03:38 PM

When the time comes for me to abandon my male side (and it is approaching), I already have my course laid out. At the moment I have no plans of undergoing SRS. HRT? Yes. Breast enhancement? If needed after HRT. Facial feminization? Probably don't need it as my features are already rather androgynous and even en drab I am sometimes mistaken for female, but I don't rule it out entirely. Cosmetic surgery? Maybe a face lift when the time comes. But that's about it.

Tina_gm

04-12-2014, 03:44 PM

Does anyone in their right mind wish to be anywhere on the TG scale? My only true benefit that I can see of it is that I believe that I have an ability to see things from a perspective that encompasses both genders. I get some of what women think and feel. Perhaps because of that I am able to be a supportive and understanding husband in ways most men are not. My wife does appreciate that side of me, but, she might be willing to trade some of that in. while I do believe that without CDing I would still be a compassionate and understanding spouse, I just have a little bit of an extra advantage. I know I would trade that extra advantage in to be just a regular guy.

Seana Summer

04-12-2014, 03:47 PM

For me the answer is No. I do not want to have breast implants or go on hormones. I like wearing women's clothing but I have no desire to be a women nor do I feel like I am a women trapped in a mans body. I am me.............. and sometimes I like to wear a skirt, nylons and heels among other articles that are supposed to be forbidden for a GM.

I would like to lose a little weight however, it would help me fit into a size 16 better;) It would really be cool if I could get down to the weight I was in collage, I would really have more cool clothing choices then:GD:

JennyLynn

04-12-2014, 04:03 PM

Good being man and woman. Both are me!

samantha rogers

04-12-2014, 04:04 PM

Sharon, I dont think there is any one-size-fits-all answer to that question. Any attempt to paint a simplification of that question is bound to fail. The human brain is the single most complicated thing in the yet discovered universe. Each person here comes with their own quite unique place and complications and perspective and problems.
Perhaps you might be better served spending a little time getting to know some of the beautiful people here and the rich variety of lives from which they emanate before jumping to any forgone conclusions. If you do, you will learn what a diverse bunch we really are.
Said with only kindness intended, honey. I know it can be tough if you are just beginning to get a handle on this little world, because in the start we can only view things through the lens of our own circumstances. Stick around. There are a lot of warm and kind people here who are more than willing to help you with understanding yours.

Joanne108

04-12-2014, 04:16 PM

No, but sometimes I think it would be cool to have a boob job. I wonder sometimes what it feels like to have breast in a bra and feel the fabric and know what its like to have boobs.

Rachael Leigh

04-12-2014, 04:41 PM

I only felt that I wanted to be a girl for a short time in my life until I understood that's not possible because I am a guy.
The dressing for me is just an expression of part of myself that I don't fully understand but because I so like female fashion I use this part of me to express that. When I go all the way with it by doing makeup and wig it's like playing a part or just doing something that relaxes me. It's still complicated in many ways but simple too.

Wanna be Heather

04-12-2014, 04:45 PM

I wish to have a girl body, boobs, bottom, closer knees, and softer check bones. But still, would not not transform 100 percent

Genny B

04-12-2014, 05:29 PM

I can remember at one time crying myself to sleep because I was male. Now, years later, I am very happy with who I am and enjoy both sides of me! I have family members that I can't imagine going through life without and 98% of them only know the male side of me.
Genny B

Allison Quinn

04-12-2014, 05:43 PM

Like Paula said, nobody "wants" to be a transsexual. It's more of a thing that just is. You don't become one at least that's how I feel. You figure it out but you don't turn :P I can say that you can be in a period of denial. Before I finally admitted to myself that I am not congruent with being male I labeled myself as a crossdresser for sure, hoping that I could do things on the side like paint over my nails or wear skirts sometimes. But through doing it I realized that's not what being female means to me. It's more of the feelings, and emotions and the way I think and present myself both to other people and to myself. It's not only the clothes or the makeup. It is a part but it goes a LOT deeper. Even still I don't know if that necessarily means I want to transition I still have questions to ask myself and people to talk to before i'm doing anything :3 I'm not so much afraid of the process, but I want to make damn sure I make the right choices

Like many of the other members said they are perfectly happy being a guy, just crossdressing is part of them. They are still men of course just maybe a few nights a week they want to wear a dress. Of course there is a chance but it's probably unlikely. Who knows why people CD but it's part of life and it's always nice to have someone help you along the way to figure out why! Maybe it's their gender identity? If so that doesn't automatically mean they want to be a woman! They could be genderqueer, genderfluid, non conforming anything. Maybe it's a sexual thing? Maybe they just really like the way that material feels or breathes. Maybe it's for the attention even!

An example for the other side is my girlfriend technically "crossdresses" as well but that doesn't make her any less of a woman in her mind or anybody elses. She can wear a suit and tie, still identify as a woman and still be the beautiful girl who I love. Articles of clothing do not change that what so ever. They don't change her identity either, just she likes to present herself as such sometimes :)

Tracii G

04-12-2014, 05:57 PM

Just because a person is a cross dresser doesn't mean they are a transsexual,there is a huge difference.
You need to leave that line of thinking behind and do some research.
What society in general thinks about cross dressers and transsexuals is totally wrong FYI.

Joanne f

04-12-2014, 06:17 PM

Hello sharonone,
I am not nsure why you are asking this question but you have to remember that all the answers will be a personal one so it may not fit what you are looking for , for me personally I would love to have the body that I feel I should have which is female but I am in a stuck place( in limbo) which makes it impossible to go forward with that so I class myself as TG as I feel that I do not have the right to class myself as TS as I feel that would be disrespectful of the ones that have made the commitment to go forward with who they are .

Tinkerbell-GG

04-12-2014, 06:26 PM

Sharonone, I've read here a while and have been set straight by quite a few members that the transexual talk among crossdressers is often (mostly?) fantasy. I mean really, how often do we as GGs think about our boobs? We tend to quit thinking about them as soon as we get them! I know my boobs are just another body part, like my legs or arms. Funny then how much the members here obsess over them, not realising this is what ALL men do (well, unless they're a leg man or something:)) and is rather unoriginal, lol.

Perhaps chat to some of the transexuals here to get their viewpoint? Paula has been a huge help for me with this. There really is a big leap from a man fantasizing or expressing a feminine side to knowing you're a woman born in the wrong body. How much do transexuals think about boobs? My guess is they think about them as much as we do, and if they're ripping their bras off at the end of the day and not revelling in the feel of wearing one like a crossdresser, then you start to understand that there is a difference. :)

BLUE ORCHID

04-12-2014, 06:33 PM

Hi Sharonone, I like to think that I have the best of both worlds.

Sarah M

04-12-2014, 06:49 PM

I'm intersex with female parts on the inside I was raised up as a male but my mind is female an I'm doing something about it I have been on HRT for 10 months an I have boobs that are really sore from the HRT an I have really soft skin an the PMS every month an I have never been Happier now an being the Guy that I was before was never really me..

Tasha'sLaboratory

04-12-2014, 07:08 PM

I don't know, I was on hormones for a while in my early 20's but I quit. My nipples are still pretty sensitive, they weren't at all before. I was examined by a doctor who was able to tell, I don't remember his exact words but it was something like "ok now I'm going to feel your ...errr...boobs" or something like that. He didn't bring it up any more but he said something about men sometimes getting breast cancer too. I've had a few sexual partners figure out they were very sensitive too.
I never learned how to put on makeup, I was working at a factory pretty much out of necessity at the time. Taking them might have been reckless, or maybe quitting them was the mistake, but I wasn't in a very TS friendly environment and I didn't have much money to move or experience with places outside my hometown.

Right now I think getting my degree is the priority. Maybe if I end up making more money and having more freedom to move, but I'm not 100% sure.

I am just experimenting right, just got my first wig.

Should I have been born as a woman? I don't know

heatherdress

04-12-2014, 07:19 PM

Do you wish to be a full transexual ? NO

Are you Only CD because you are afraid to do the whole process ? NO or are you good this way ? GOOD THIS WAY

I mean - don't mant of the CD's wish to have real Breasts... to look like real women... and don't do this because of the family or not have the guts to "go all the way"? NO - DISAGREE WITH PREMISE

or you like being man part of the day... and don't FEEL you should have been born as women ? I WAS BORN THE WAY I WAS MEANT TO BE - I AM WHO I AM

thanks all YOUR WELCOME

lindsey89

04-12-2014, 07:45 PM

I definitely think about the possibility of transitioning pretty regularly, but right now in my life I think I prefer being able to be both male and female. Maybe someday I'll change my thoughts on that.

Nadine Spirit

04-12-2014, 07:51 PM

I am not afraid to do the whole process. I don't want to. I am good being in the middle.

Hmm, real breasts? Only if they were still removable as it would be a bit problematic when I want to be in guy mode.

I don't try and look like a real woman, I just try and present the best me that I can, however I am dressed.

I do not feel as though I should have been born a woman. It has taken me some time to become comfortable with my desires but I am happy with the way I was born.

sanderlay

04-12-2014, 07:57 PM

Sharon,

The short answer is No...
... but you must read who I am first to perhaps understand why. ;)

I'm not your average CD, cross-dresser. I don't live as a man part most of the time and then transform myself into a woman for a few hours and return to living as a man. For me it's deeper because of who I am. My body is male. But my gender identity is a mix of being a man and a woman, the feminine and the masculine. And so my gender presentation is a mix of both male and female clothing styles. I do this full time to feel like myself, to be true to myself, to feel normal.

It's not that don't have the guts to be TS. I'm not a woman trapped in a man's body. That would be a mistake as it is also wrong for me to only present as a male. My identity has two parts and they both must be acknowledged and recognized or I feel my gender dysphoria.

It does take guts to present to the world this way as I do not wear makeup. I don't pass as a woman nor do I pass as a man, but for me it is necessary to feel right. At times I feel like an anomaly in a culture who only seems to see the gender binary, man or woman, boy or girl, feminine and the masculine. But the truth is that gender is more like a rainbow than only two choices.

And so now perhaps you understand a little bit of who I am, this CD, TG, transgendered person. :D

Kristencdct

04-12-2014, 08:12 PM

I crossdress whenever I get the chance but it's always on my mind to live as a woman full time. I think if I had the opportunity I'd spend most, if not all of my time en femme.

TxCassie

04-12-2014, 08:36 PM

I often think about transitioning. At times, it's what feel is where I've been heading all along. But when that feeling dies down, I realize how natural it is for me to be a masculine male is for me. It's so "right" it's scary, but only to a point. and that's when my questioning and desires begin all over again. So, the bottom line, I don't think I'll ever "transition", but will I move towards being more feminine as time passes, probably. Hormones, maybe. But today, I'm male, who crossdresses.

Trinity Sue

04-12-2014, 08:38 PM

I am caught in the spiral up and down , would I transform all the way ? Maybe not, I am unsure, so I take each day with a breathe of sunshine and be the best I can be in both of my genders. :) well wishes to all.

Jenniferathome

04-12-2014, 09:15 PM

Cross dressing and transsexualism are NOT related. I realize that seems strange, but the vast majority of cross dressers are just that. We have no wish to transition nor any desire to change our bodies. Transexuals may cross dress but since they are dressing as the gender they believe themselves to be, it's not really cross dressing.

Marcelle

04-12-2014, 09:32 PM

Hi Sharon,

I like to dress as a women both privately and publically because if feels right. Sure, I may present female (wig, make-up, voice, mannerisms, walk) but, I never lose sight of the fact that I am a man. I love being a guy as much as I love being Isha (we are the same person). Isha just has a better sense of style. :)

Hugs

Isha

Sometimes Steffi

04-12-2014, 09:55 PM

I like to dress like a woman, and when I do so, I like my presentation to be as good as I possibly can.

But, at the end of the night, or maybe the next morning, I'm very glad to be able to take my bra (and my forms) off.

JenniferYager

04-12-2014, 10:14 PM

Dressing up as a girl and being one 24/7 are two totally different things. Like most previous posters, I prefer playing the middle ground.

Jennifer in CO

04-12-2014, 10:24 PM

Sharon, if you haven't guessed by now the over-whelming answer to your question is ...yes!...no!...maybe!
After taking hormones for almost two years in the early 80's (after being on blockers...an unrelated kidney medication...since I was 13) I transitioned and lived "full-time" for almost 5 years (today some would consider what I did a non-op TS). Living as a woman became first-nature (not second-nature as the thinking goes). With the exception of that something extra "down there" I lived and worked 24/7 as a woman...including pretty much in bed as well as my wife was always the "top".
"Second-nature" was what I'd call coming back to the dark side. I had to learn how to be a guy. It was hard. I didn't learn it all nor did I want to. I learned enough to get by. People still tell me today that I'm too compassionate for a guy; I'm too patient, I'm what ever. I just say thank you...that it was my "Southern upbringing". But the truth is its the woman in me doing her best to let people know she's still in there in her quiet way.
Was I "born in the wrong body"?...no. Was I waaay more comfortable living as a woman?...yes. Does that make me any more or less TS?...
yes...no...maybe?...

Babbs

04-12-2014, 10:35 PM

1. No 2. No, good being part time femme. 3. Has nothing to do with guts but rather who I am.

Vickie_CDTV

04-12-2014, 11:48 PM

Seeing all of the pain and suffering and sometimes living hell I have seen my TS friends and clients go through over the years... no, I would never want to be a TS. Thank goodness I am not a TS, I would never want to go through what they are forced to endure.

Transvestism and transsexualism are two different things. Plenty of folks dress without wanting to be a TS.

Manwithabra

04-13-2014, 12:10 AM

I've always wanted to feel exactly what it's like to be a woman. I often think to myself, "if I could spend just one month as a woman, then I would be satisfied". But that's the thing, I would only want to spend one month. Nothing more. I like being me, and when I do dress (still confined to bra and panties BTW), I like it. But I always know that in the end, I am perfectly okay with being male.

My SO once told me that I would look like Debby Ryan as a female. Heh heh. That was almost enough to make me go for a full change, but I never would.

LizGirl

04-13-2014, 12:17 AM

Hey Sharonone,

Something I've learnt over the years, and something that's borne out by the responses below, is that crossdressing, gender and transgenderness is a spectrum with many different points along the way. I know folks who have realized from a very young age that they were born the wrong gender; equally, I know folks who have no desire to change their genetic sex, despite their preference for cross-dressing.

Personally, I'm very comfortable with being a man. I have no desire to change my genetic sex. There are certainly times when I'd like to be a "more beautiful woman", but that's separate from my gender choice, and separate again from my sexuality. It's a complex, multi-dimensional thing, which is why forums like this are useful!

I think the most important thing to work out when coming to terms with one's own crossdressing is to consider it in light of who and what you really want to be. Paula and Diane have both spoken eloquently about their personal experience of this, and it will vary hugely from person to person. For me, crossdressing is something that's an innate part of me, and has been since my early teens, but even now I'm still coming to terms with what that means as part of my overall personality.

To sum up: it's a complex beast. Be honest with yourself and those you love; take good advice from folks on here who have been there before; and always remember that there are many points on the spectrum :)

raleighbelle

04-13-2014, 12:48 AM

For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted to be a female. Completely, in every way, the good and bad of it all. I have no pride or feelings of being male. But that is how I was brought up and definitely how I look. If I were to transition, I would be seen as a guy (pervert) in a dress, not as a woman, and I am sure would not be accepted as a woman in our society. I do not have the looks, voice, walk, mannerisms unfortunately of a female. I also have to admit that I don't desire men sexually, though I fantasize about sexuality from a female perspective, which is hard for me to explain. Yes, some of those things can be learned, but not all of it for me. So I will continue to dress and work as a male, but dressing when I get home as a female and essentially being female then.

I agree that there is a whole spectrum of how different cross dressers feel. I think, statistically, there are far more that just dress and would definitely not want to transition even if they successfully could. Those of us who are transgendered are more represented on this site I think because we are more driven in the need to express our feminine side, and more in need of the support that such a forum gives us. Especially since society sees this as such a terrible thing (though it looks like things are gradually easing in public attitudes, which is good).

prene

04-13-2014, 01:45 AM

Sharon,
I have been wrestling with that thought a lot.
I have a therapist and we have talked a lot.

Who knows what I may do.

I will say if I could pick what sex I was born ... if I could do it again.
I would want to be female.

Nice posting

Prene

Amanda M

04-13-2014, 02:48 AM

I am a man. I do not want to transition. Actually, I like both of me!

Ezekiel

04-13-2014, 03:26 AM

A few years back I was confused and thought I was transsexual, but thats because of how much misinformation there is. I'm a man, always been a man, I identify as a man. I don't even consider myself a crossdresser, as when I dress I'm not crossdressing, to me is dressing with the clothes I like and sometimes even mix it with male clothes so I would fall into the androgynous category. Technically though, and in eyes of society, I'm a crossdresser. Fine.

Would I go for body modifications? Yes, I would get facial feminization surgery, beard removal and if they were better I would also go for hips/bottom implants, maybe in the future when I get out of the pit hole I'm in now. But I don't and never wanted breasts or a vagina.

I'm just a man of a rare and different flavor...

KristyE

04-13-2014, 04:57 AM

I think personally I would have been better served to have been born female but would I go through any extreme measures now to change that, I don't think so.

No one would choose to live as we live on purpose. It's much easier to just have a "normal" life than to be outside. Just sayn'.

Love KristyE

Nadia Pinky

04-13-2014, 04:59 AM

My opinion the most of crossdresser don't want to transition to transsexual we accept our status as we are so we satisfy to live both man and women

noeleena

04-13-2014, 05:47 AM

Hi,

For my self i did not have to worry about what or who i was, yet never dressed as such unless by some one else,and there was no issue for myself being both male female ,
so living as a normal female is how it should be , plus growing up as one is normal .

...noeleena...

KARI AN

04-13-2014, 07:07 AM

I have thought about this for a long time and thinking back to a early age I think I was more female than male. Yes there were times that the male was the best but after all this time I wish I had transitioned and completed the change. I feel so good as a women and enjoy the female in me and believe me I have talked about being a true female hundreds of times Iam thankful my wife believes in me and we can go out shopping for bras, panties and all my other fem products and clothes.

CarlaWestin

04-13-2014, 07:49 AM

Do you wish to be a full transexual ?
Seriously? I'd be comfortable with only being 33% transexual. Does this comment imply that CDing is some kind of temporary fix for that yearning to be female totally.

Are you Only CD because you are afraid to do the whole process ? or are you good this way ?
I mean - don't mant of the CD's wish to have real Breasts... to look like real women... and don't do this because of the family or not have the guts to "go all the way"?
or you like being man part of the day... and don't FEEL you should have been born as women ?

You're questioning has tones that suggest the transitioning process is like being dared to get a tattoo.
Since you've joined back in July yet waited until now to post, you've certainly had enough time to read the thousands of informative posts that clearly illustrate the differences and subtleties of this multi faceted world of gender expression.
And, exactly which "part of the day" is man o'clock?

I Am Paula

04-13-2014, 08:18 AM

natcrys

04-13-2014, 08:49 AM

Oooh boy! Of all the things you could ask in a first post in the "MtF CD-ing" section of the forum.. you basically ask whether some of us are too chicken to "proceed" to the TS-part? :doh:

I would be inclined to just chalk such a question (and its tone with its implications) up to ignorance, naiveté and insensitivity... but seriously, you've been here almost a year. If you had read some of the posts.. you'd probably have learned already what others already have said in this thread.

You use the word "process" as if there is a logical one-dimensional point-by-point timeline (technically two-dimensional because spacetime 'n stuff.. but let's not get all relativistic just yet :p).

But as you hopefully have figured out.. the world is much more complex. Think about the letters in LGBTQ.. then realise each letter represents a myriad of different subgroups which may or may not be related. And I haven't even started yet about possible connections between subgroups of different letters.

Anyway, the essence of your question.. how CD and TS are related.. that's (IMHO) okay to ask. Don't expect a clear answer, but the discussion will almost always yield great insights.

I just object to the part where you imply that CD's have no guts.

Confucius

04-13-2014, 08:52 AM

Personally I just think of myself as a man who likes the sensations and comfort from wearing women's clothing. I refuse to adopt a female name. I like being a husband and a father. I like the male virtues of showing leadership, strength, and the way females depend on us to fix things. When females face a problem they want to talk about it, and when men face a problem they want to fix it. That said, I have an attraction to female virtues too. They have a sense of "pretty" that is totally lacking in men. Females show greater empathy and compassion, and sensitivity. I think I grew up as a sensitive boy and that I was attracted to pretty things. So I will continue being who I am, and give a great big NO to transsexualism.

alwayshave

04-13-2014, 09:11 AM

I like all my parts where they are and in their current configuration. I love women's clothes, makeup, shoes and jewelery and presenting as women. I also feel comfortable wearing them. But that's it.

Angie G

04-13-2014, 09:14 AM

Because some one dresses as a woman does not mean he of she wishes to be full on the sex. I have thought how nice it would be but it will never happen and it has nothing to do with fear. It does have to do with who I am. A husband a father a grandfather a man with some man needs.I do love dressing and would stay dressed 24/7 if it was possible it's not and I'm good with that.:hugs:
Angie

MissTee

04-13-2014, 09:39 AM

No, transition is not something I want to do. I revel in my duality.

ClaireCole

04-13-2014, 11:07 AM

I don't think I'd ever want to transition completely, I'm pretty cool with being a dude. I would like to be slightly more feminine, and boobs would be great when I needed them, but thats obviously not an option. No, I like being a bit of both.

Tracii G

04-13-2014, 12:06 PM

steph1964

04-13-2014, 12:49 PM

Nobody in their right mind would want to be a transsexual. A better question is "are you really a woman or a man." Being stuck in the wrong body sucks.

I agree with Paula, I thought that I was a crossdresser but the crossdressing didn't help, in fact it just made the dysphoria worse. I didn't transition until I was suicidal and had been hospitalized twice for stroke symptoms (likely due to stress). I had the successful American dream with loving family, nice house, successful career, and I was terrified about throwing everything away. But in the end it was live in my correct gender or probably not live.

Many crossdressers fantasize about transitioning, and there are definitely transsexuals who are trying to convince themselves that they are crossdressers, but not transitioning because we are afraid isn't an option. I was terrified about loosing everything but had to transition anyway.

sometimes_miss

04-13-2014, 01:32 PM

I think that one of the big misconceptions is that a lot of people think that wanting to be female, and wanting to be a female transsexual are the same thing. They are not. Many, many crossdressers idealize the life of a woman. They don't see any of the difficulties, and/or think the problems of a woman would be easy to deal with in comparison to the wonderful experience of being pretty and 'getting to experience everything a woman does'. Those same crossdressers minimize the problems of being a mtf transsexual. They really, really want to believe that if they could just complete the process, that they'd get to live as a normal pretty woman, when that's not usually the case at all. Most of us make homely women. MOST OF US; that means about oh, 95%. A lot of fooling ourselves goes on on this forum and others, about how pretty we are when we post pictures, how passable we MUST be because we are comparing ourselves with each other on a two dimensional scale. And yes, if we could magically become a pretty young woman, many of us could accept all the rest of the problems that a normal woman faces day to day. But at some point, the closer one gets to starting transitioning, the more reality starts to sink in, and we have to face the fact that we're just trading in being a borderline looking guy to becoming a homely middle aged woman. And that's not what 99% of the guys here want at all. The second part is, those who are still heterosexual will have to admit that there are NO WOMEN INTERESTED IN MTF TRANSSEXUALS. NONE. ZERO. Even less women than are interested in crossdressers, and that number is miniscule already, so any guy who wants to transition with the dreams of having a female partner can just watch that particular fantasy evaporate completely. The odds are about the same as winning the lottery. Then you have the group who are repressing homosexuality and have dreams of becoming a beautiful woman, marrying a nice man and being a lovely woman/wife. Not going to happen either. Men who are interested in MTF transexuals are predominantly not thinking about marriage, they're interested in sex, not relationships. Relationships are a woman's domain and pursuit, not usually the desire of men who are interested in out of the ordinary sexual partnerships, especially ones where most of the world will know he's not quite 'straight'. So while some may fool themselves into thinking they're the one who will beat the odds, most eventually face reality and just live our lives the best we can. We dream the dream, but acknowledge that's all it can be.

Edit. I had this thread going round in my head for a while, and the end thought is this: If, when I was a young teen, I had the body frame (much shorter), hands and feet (much smaller) and the science at that time was mature, I probably would have transitioned much the same as Kim Petras did, because at that age, EVERYTHING sort of supported the concept that I was really supposed to be a girl, rather than the really, really unmasculine boy that I was; after all, I had even been told that god made a mistake, and that I was really supposed to be a girl, and I saw no evidence to contradict that. But we have to deal with reality. Even though I was slim, the hands and feet were already huge by the time I was 13, and in those days, there was NO support system in place for transgendered people that was easily accessible such as the online system today. I was on my own, the only TS person I had ever heard of was Christine Jorgensen. It simply was not a time when something like that was going to happen, and it was certainly not going to happen for me. Very often, we are all just stuck with accepting the life we have and do the best we can, with the situation we are stuck with, because there's really no way to fix it; some things, and minds, are broken beyond repair, so we just duct tape them up, and move on, and hope for the best. I'm reasonable healthy, live comfortably, have two wardrobes and can pick and choose what I want to eat, or do, and just about any moment. Life may not be exactly what I want, but it ain't half bad either. And on that note, I'm going to take a drive in my expensive sports car, and go to a great diner and have a really nice breakfast.

Edit, Edit....One other thing; one of my lesbian friends keeps reminding me....as a guy, I have access to millions of wonderful, pretty, straight women that she does not. So there's an upside to being a guy after all.

mechamoose

04-13-2014, 01:39 PM

While I would love to wake up as a girl, I don't believe my body type would allow me to even 'fake it'.

And if I did, I'm sure I'd long for the beast that wasn't there anymore.

Be who you are. Find a way to make peace with that!

<3

- MM

Lorileah

04-13-2014, 01:42 PM

Nobody in their right mind would want to be a transsexual.

well that explains a lot about me. But it is a true statement, it isn't a "want" but it is a "who I am". As with any person who is in a position where someone believes them to be less...why would you choose that? No one chooses to be ostracized or belittled. But I am not upset over who I am. If I didn't want to live my life this way, it would have been easy not to....not pleasant maybe but easy.

"Wants" in my world. I want people to like me, I want people to respect who I am, I want to happy in my life. Some of those wants can be partially fulfilled with becoming the person I should be

carhill2mn

04-13-2014, 01:45 PM

I think that you will learn that a majority of the CDs here have no desire to transition and do not feel that they were born in the wrong body. They just enjoy
much of the same things as women do; ie., nice clothes, pretty shoes, jewelry, makeup, etc.

There are large variances among us.

sometimes_miss

04-13-2014, 03:47 PM

I think the OP'er was just trolling seeing as she has not been back.
She has the misconception that if you CD you must be a TS.Its a common view held by people that have no clue what they are talking about.

Troll, I don't know. OP joined almost a year ago. Kind of long time to wait to post. May just be a lurker. Lots of people read a lot before they ever post (I was one of them).

natcrys

04-13-2014, 04:02 PM

Whatever and whoever Sharonone is.. it's a pity that there is no follow-up post after starting a thread with such an insensitive first-post.

I would really like to know if things have been learned.. because sure.. lurking for a year.. that implies reading what others have posted. :)

Tracii G

04-13-2014, 04:03 PM

I know SM I lurked here for a while myself.
Her first post just felt to me to be demeaning and bordering on the crude side YMMV but thats how I read it.
Standard uninformed questions coming from a person that had been here a while just seemed odd.
Maybe her husband CD's and she doesn't believe his answers to her questions.
It would be nice if she came back and gave us a bit of background of her situation so the members could try to help her.

Perhaps she is a know it all and doesn't want to hear the truth.

Sarah21

04-13-2014, 05:00 PM

I would never wish to be a transexual, I don't know what I am for sure but and have struggled all my life trying to deal with so many obstacles.
I always wanted to be a girl growing up, or a woman now. It's not something to wish for, it's something you are born with.

marsha leanne

04-13-2014, 05:46 PM

There was a time many years ago that the idea of transition played heavily on my mind. But in looking back, it was far more a dreamstyle fantasy. I am very comfortable being a fairly regular dresser. The idea of crossing over is not that important. i like myself as i am.

Tracii G

04-13-2014, 06:27 PM

If I had known when I was in my 20's I deff would have transitioned but at 61 and all the risks involved health wise for me its a no go.
I'm happy to be a TG person and CD when I want to.

Diana81

04-13-2014, 09:39 PM

I dream about it. I know I wish I would be brave enough and go for it. I know living as a male has kept me unhappy for 32 years and I don't even want to look at myself at the mirror nowadays. But I have plenty of things to think about before I make a move like that. I fear I might be trying to convince myself at times.

Michelle789

04-13-2014, 09:48 PM

No one in their right mind would want to be a transsexual. You either are one or you aren't. Most of us who really are TS try to fight it and try to bargain by trying to be a cross-dresser or to see where we have failed as men. Most of us who are TS take decades to figure it out, and after years of fighting it, we finally come to accept that we are TS and really the gender we identify as which is opposite of our birth sex.

If you're having serious doubts about your gender, a gender specialist can help you to figure it out. Do you identify as male, female, somewhere in between, both, neither, or aren't sure, or maybe something else? Feel free to send me a PM if you want to talk more about this.

I mean - don't mant of the CD's wish to have real Breasts... to look like real women...

and don't FEEL you should have been born as women ?

If you feel you should have been born female or want real breasts, maybe you are a TS and not a CD.

and don't do this because of the family or not have the guts to "go all the way"?

If you are a CD, then you will have no desire to transition and have absolutely no reason to transition. In fact, it would be wrong for a male identified CD to transition, because you're core identity is male, but you like to dress as a woman sometimes.

If you are a TS, then you may need to eventually transition, and most TSes are happy they did transition, because you're core identity is female. Sadly, many TSes deny and repress their true nature for years or decades, and often think they're CD, and may run away from transition because of family obligations. If you are TS, please just don't wait until it's transition or die. Please get the help you need first. Ok.

NathalieX66

04-13-2014, 09:55 PM

I have a number of friends who are transsexual, and they would be quite unhappy if they never transitioned. They are like race horses coming out of the starting gate. And the ones I know don't seem to regret a single day of transitioning.

sharonone

04-13-2014, 11:26 PM

Hן All,

I wand to clear something up :)

First of all Many Many thanks to you all !. It's my first post here... and i thought i'll get 2-3 respones... .

I've learned and enwised from many of the responses here !

First i must say something ... English is not my "main" language so i may said some thing incorrectly .. or used to wrong terms.

My question was meant to be like that - and i REALLY REALLY don't mean to offened...it's a geniune question

Does Crossdressing is sufficent for you... or you don't do the whole transition because of fear (of family... work... etc.).

I mean.. as for my self - had i known i was the Steritopical Transgender - that "played with dolls at the age of 4 and wore her mothers' heels" it would be much easier for me to go and declare to the world "i am a female - accept that".

The problem is i really in the middle... i not sure i'm 100% woman. or is it fear that concuring me ? I've last heard of the word genderqueer - is that what i am ?

Many thanks for all the responses you are great.

spandexgirl188

04-14-2014, 01:42 AM

Well from my own personal experience at first the idea of being totally passable as a girl was what i shot for. Lets be real, CD'ers use either foam to pad their hips, or silicone to pad their boobs, maybe a corset or a waist cincher to slim their waist to make that illusion of being female. Now, im not judging anyone. if this is what works for them, then thats great. All the more power to them, for me however, the illusion is not enough. I want to be a girl, I want to have a hip size, or a cup size and know its not because of silicone or padded foam around my hips. I want it to be natural and have what GG"s have. I want to be accepted as a girl. My transition started when i was 11 years old, my attraction was because of the way GG's looked in clothes. The shape of their bodies etc. The feeling grew stronger as i got older, i found when i fought the feeling i was more depressed and miserable. So i went with what felt right, and now im living my life as a woman and i couldnt be happier. Again, im not judging anyone on how they do things, nor am i saying that the way i live is what everyone should do. This is just my own personal experience and what's happened in my life.

Nadia Pinky

04-14-2014, 02:54 AM

Are you Only CD because you are afraid to do the whole process ? or are you good this way ?

I mean - don't mant of the CD's wish to have real Breasts... to look like real women... and don't do this because of the family or not have the guts to "go all the way"?

or you like being man part of the day... and don't FEEL you should have been born as women ?

thanks all

I like to being both man and women part of the day about breasts sometimes when I dressed feel to have real breasts for sometimes but I remove my dress this desire gone disappear but before 2 years I used cream to enlarge my breasts for one month and became little small and accept what is it no need to enlargement more also in this time used some pills content estrogen feminine hormones but after read more about it this pills will damage my liver with long term therefore I quit it and satisfy what am I

PaulaQ

04-14-2014, 03:27 AM

The problem is i really in the middle... i not sure i'm 100% woman. or is it fear that concuring me ?

I apologize - I was a little flip in my answer to you. I wasn't sure whether or not you making a really serious enquiry or not. I believe you are, though.

You could be in the middle, or it could be fear? Many of us transsexuals identify as crossdressers at first. I'd hoped that's all I was too - but nope, I'm pretty much female.

Nobody online can really tell you who you are. If this is really causing you issues in your life - and listen, I can certainly sympathize with you if it does - you should consult with a gender therapist - a psychologist or counselor who is experienced in dealing with gender issues. They can help you figure out your gender issues - although ultimately the answer is inside of you.

There are a number of very good reasons why someone would fear transition:
1. Hormone therapy pretty much assures your penis will never really work right again.

2. There's generally no "secret" transition. Unlike being a CD, where you can lead a double life, if you are TS, you are exposed to the criticism of all you meet.

3. If you are married, about 9 out of 10 marriages to TSs fail. Some do make it - not that many, and it isn't remotely the same relationship post transition.

4. Many employers are unfriendly to trans employees - you can lose your career.

5. Many TSs lose family members who no longer accept them, as well as some or all of their friends.

6. The medical costs for surgeries of various kinds are high, and frequently uninsured.

Can you describe some of the negative feelings you have that seem to be associated with your gender? The reason people generally transition is because in various ways, life as a man is worse for them than *any* of the issues I mention above. That was certainly the case for me. I reached a point where death was preferable to life as a man. (I hope you aren't at that point!)

It's normal for many CDs to wonder if they are transsexual. It's also pretty normal for many TSs to think "I'm just a CD". This makes it really confusing for everyone!

sharonone

04-15-2014, 04:03 AM

As i said - thank you All.
I never expected more than 2-3-4 replies :)
Never meant to upset anyone...
As i said - i'm confused about myself.

Yes i'm not Active in the forum.. because - i'm from israel... we have a trans forum there - and it's easier for me to write in Hebrew so...
I asked the question becuase of MY confusion. Not yours. I respect each and every.

I know i always was a Boyish-girlish guy.
but after 32 age - i don't look that way.. and my innder feeling doesn't reflect my look.
well.. sorry - seems i can't get the question right :(

Thank you - i was very geniune with my question and didn't mean to offened anyone.

I feel like i'm more Androgenic than TS... but as i age - my look doesn't fit my inner feeling. (you start to lose your hair .. .etc.)...

I'm in real confusions.

Had i known for 100 % i should have been a girl - i would DO IT.
But i likes being in the middle. i always had a girlish look. but now - when i age my look doesn't fit my inner feeling .

I am not the cliched CD - i never dressed in my moms heels or played with Barbies.
On the other hand - i never see myself as "men". So - what am i ?

in the last year i only first time saw the term Genderqueer- so i look into that.

And my original question - i think was legite :) I see some pic. of you as REAL women.. so i asked if Fear is one thing that stopps you from doing the whole process (because if so - it's a pity !)

Georgina

04-15-2014, 07:22 AM

No. I am happy as a man who can enjoy dressing as a woman does, albeit a sixties woman.

natcrys

04-15-2014, 07:44 AM

MatildaJ.

04-15-2014, 01:18 PM

PaulaQ

04-15-2014, 05:33 PM

If you are TS, you were born TS. Anything in between was denial.
I understand that you believe that very strongly. But I don't see how one could ever prove it. There are many strange things on earth, and I find it equally possible that some people were actually male crossdressers and then later (perhaps due to changing hormone levels) they no longer felt like CDers but felt like women.

So I'll start by saying what I always say - the science of gender really sucks. (One of my friends was just at a seminar in LA where they discussed a scientific analysis of the existing scientific studies of gender - and they concluded that all of it was pretty terribly flawed.) So to some degree, anyone's guess is as good as that of the scientists.

I think we are pretty sure that it isn't changing hormone levels - Dr. Benjamin was an endocrinologist, he came up with the idea "let's pump 'em full o' girl juice", and so I think he'd have observed this. (And every medical person who deals with transsexuals looks for this - and it is never consistent.) Maybe a change in the way our bodies react to hormones - sort of like how Type II diabetics are believed to become partially immune to their own insulin. But whatever it is - it's not apparently something that's easy to spot in a blood test, or if it is, we don't know what to look for yet.

The best evidence we had female or partially female brains is:
1. A fair number of us manifest this behavior as kids, and are really never able to function in their gender role assigned at birth.
2. We know that intersex conditions in other organs of the body occur, so why not the brain?
3. We know that structurally brains are different between males and females to some extent.
4. Intersex people of ambiguous gender are often "fixed" right after birth, and a gender chosen for them. Often the docs guess wrong, and a condition more or less identical to the gender dysphoria of transsexuals occurs. This is another hint, in my opinion, that this stuff is based on physiology, and probably set by the time we're born.
So the argument would be that this is an intersex condition affecting the brain. We don't know why it happens - but we don't understand other types of intersex conditions either.

As for a theoretical basis for a male CD feeling later in life that they were women, the best theory for that is Dr. Blanchard's Autogynephilia theory, which is a fine enough theory given the very limited data set Dr. Blanchard had to work with, but it's one testable hypothesis - that there will be distinctive differences between androphilic and gynephilic MtF's doesn't hold up very well with larger data sets.

So the scientists don't have a great theory that suggests we start as men and then change to women internally - but that doesn't make it not the case. But it isn't much to go on either - because nobody can suggest why we'd change or how this would happen.

At that point, the brain tells them that they were always women (because human brains are good at rationalizing many things). But I don't see how one could prove that they were always women inside, who just lived decades in denial.

Actually, how do genetic women prove they are really female in their minds - many FtM's would disagree that they are women? Many MtF's say "I've always known", even when we didn't always know because for a long time, if you wanted treatment, those were the magic words you uttered to your gatekeepers, and honestly, even now, there is GREAT temptation to tell medical providers - almost all of whom are cisgendered and DO NOT understand what it feels like to be trans *at all* - what they want to hear.

Some of us get pretty good hints we're women early on - but we either suppress it or deny it because it seems so impossible to act on. Others of us really don't have any clue until much later in life, although in retrospect, can see behaviors that caused us problems that vanished shortly after we started estrogen. Cross dressing is a pretty good hint, at least it suggests something may be going on with gender, as opposed to some of the more vague behavioral hints.

Oh, one last point - medical folks love when we self-identify, because until we do, they aren't exactly GREAT at figuring out "oh yeah, you're trans." (I'm talking about PCP's, and psychotherapists, not gender therapists - by the time someone sees a gender therapist, they've pretty much identified the issue.) So great - we have to self-identify to get treatment.

But apparently for many people it is an option for decades... until it no longer is an option. Or else those people evolved, from someone who didn't need to transition (and maybe was male inside?) into someone who did need to transition and was clearly female inside.

Well, I mean it's an option to avoid treatment for Type II Diabetes too, until the docs start having to amputate stuff. It doesn't mean that would make it a good idea to encourage that behavior, which is essentially what society by and large does to trans*. People, for the most part, don't want us to get treatment, don't believe this stuff is real, and some of these people are legislators. As for the "option" of putting off treatment - for us older girls there weren't a hell of a lot of options when we were younger. Many of us suffered for decades. Indeed, some (not you, but some) argue that since we can put it off for some time, why can't we just put it off forever - because it isn't a real condition!

our society used to believe that all MtF transsexuals always knew they were transsexual, hated their penises, and were attracted to men

This is an excellent point Jess! They believed that because all of the transsexuals who'd been studied by scientists up to that point fit that profile very well. That's the central problem with the science of gender - the scientists investigate the people who come in for treatment. These individuals are a small subsection of the trans community.

mmdallas

04-15-2014, 05:37 PM

I've never wanted to be anything other than a part time crossdresser. I admire those who are more full time or are transitioning, it's just never been a desire of mine.

Adriana Moretti

04-15-2014, 05:57 PM

nope..no intrest at all....i like the best of both worlds....somewhere right in between is good enough for me...

Vanessa5

04-15-2014, 06:22 PM

I have form time to time wished I was born a woman but that is about all I want to do. I still like being a man but have a feminine side that needs to come out every now and then.

Tami Monroe

04-15-2014, 06:57 PM

I have never desired to go full-on TS. Nor have I ever wished I was born a GG. I am perfectly happy being what I am and thus minimizing any possible drama that either of those options might create. I deal with enough drama already just trying to keep my secret between me and my wife and no one else in my life, most of whom would likely not understand or tolerate it.

lpjamey

04-15-2014, 08:20 PM

I have no desire to be a full ts, I like being a man. That being said I truly love everything about women and the female form. My cd desires started when I was very young and wanted to please women. I was extremely shy and had no confidence around women. I married young a continued to dress when possible because I was sure I was not the man I should be but my desire to admire women kept growing. My wife and I grew apart, I had a brief and extremely stupid fling that made me realize that I wanted my wife completely. We worked things out but she found some of my cd stash that I hung on to. Yeah that's a new problem! This was 10 years ago and more has happened I could go on but maybe later. Bottom line, I would like to be both without fear

Tami Monroe

04-15-2014, 08:32 PM

Rachel_B

04-15-2014, 09:35 PM

I've given this a lot of thought before posting but I feel that I fall in between. I don't want to transition fully but I do want breast augmentation to make dressing and looking like a female easier. I have thought about going all the way but that's not what I want. I can't say I like what I got nor can I say I will like going all the way. I just long for having breasts, real breasts even if they are fake. I want to go to sleep with them there and wake up the next morning and still have them

Christina Sevilla

04-27-2014, 10:56 PM

I would love to be a full TS and having the all the girly bits. Even though though i cross dress the desire to be a girl is to strong for me.

wilt575

04-28-2014, 01:11 AM

I would love to be a full TS and having the all the girly bits. Even though though i cross dress the desire to be a girl is to strong for me.

I don't just want the girly bits I want them functional, so I could experience everything in life a genetic woman does, be a wife raise a family etc.

Christina Sevilla

04-28-2014, 01:32 AM

I don't just want the girly bits I want them functional, so I could experience everything in life a genetic woman does, be a wife raise a family etc.

That would be lovely.

bonni

04-28-2014, 05:15 AM

I've giving it some long thought. I'd like get everything done except keep my junk.

Linda E. Woodworth

04-28-2014, 05:51 AM

No, I do not have any desire to transition at all. That isn't the road I'm traveling.

I was born male and know that and don't wish to change it.

For me it is all about the clothes and impression of presenting as a woman.

At the end of the day I am still a man.

KaceyR

04-28-2014, 05:56 AM

I'd have to say I dunno. I've had many dreams about permanently switching sides.
I have to say to an extent I feel my male side has always been a bit undeveloped and relatively useless to me all my life.
Being male doesn't get me anything different. And while CDing has been great, calming, and such, I still feel something missing..more complete but not fully. If I'd the money to toss around, I'd already be at least talking with therapists on all of this. I have had depression issues that CDing also has seemed to have helped somewhat.
Then there's the practical side of yeah, I wish I had my own real boobs instead of having to use forms. But I'd want them with the female sensitivity as well (hormone growth rather than just a boob job).
Thing is, I don't have much holding me back if I did change. No wife or girlfriend, and friends and family I think would be OK with it.
The only real threat would be on work changes... but my work did handle one other MtF transitioner and has good rules for that. It's just a fact that after a long time with the company (IT in a retail environment) if I got let go, the added fact of Trans to the age aspect might be bad for job hunting. Along with all of this, is the sheer expense. I don't get paid near what I should get paid as is.. so dealing with all the med expenses would be messy.
But If I had the means to do it all, I might.

ophelia

04-28-2014, 06:08 AM

Absolutely not for me. I am a Gemini and we are happy playing both sides of the table.
I do know several transexuals who I believe went into it unadvised. Their lives with their family, friends and work were messes. They each went into it with virtually no support network and the transitional stress merely piled onto the rest of it. They all got into empty sexual relationships with very poor choices.
Dorothy managed to get back to Kansas, but surgery is forever.

BTW, look back at male fashion from the 17th and 18th centuries. Just as many fine fabrics, colours, knickers, waistcoats, corsets, beautiful long wigs and makeup.

We are normal, society is out of touch.

rian

04-28-2014, 07:53 AM

To tell you the truth ...my inner feeling is pushing the whole throttle to be a real woman ..
Yet Society and the pressure of the real circumstances is stopping my dream at the CD..
....Being a woman has its advantages ,,,but also some other parts of the world women are placed in a disadvantage realm .

Farrah

04-28-2014, 07:54 AM

Being a full time woman would be nice, but I'm loving what I have! Much respect to those that are, however.

Athena_

04-28-2014, 08:20 AM

To say I have never thought about transitioning would be a lie. I am happy with my male side, but I have often wondered what is truely going on with my desires to CD. An earlier poster talked about our brains being very adept at rationalising and convincing us of truths. If there was a magic potion that completely changed me to a real, genetic woman; I would still have a hard time taking a drink. I would be tempted to. :o

LeaP

04-28-2014, 08:59 AM

"Full" transsexual? What is that? You either are a woman or are not.

Being gender variant (genderqueer, two-spirit, bi-gendered, etc.) is not the same. A tiny minority of these will transition for a variety of reasons. VERY few CDs ever do because it is a fantasy. I mean that non-judgementally, that it is a pull or longing for something they are not.

The suggestion that transsexuals are distinguished from others by their ability to willfully overcome fear is absurd. Many, perhaps most transsexuals expend a great deal of energy trying to NOT transition. The fear of leaving the safe cover of false manhood behind is very hard to escape and transition itself is a huge unknown in most ways. Screwing up your courage doesn't even register. Desperation and need are more like it.

StacyLynn

04-28-2014, 09:35 AM

Not me. I like being where I'm at. I still enjoy many of the activities I partake in as a man. I'm hoping to get out more as a woman in the future, but I have no plans to fully transition.

giuseppina

04-28-2014, 10:53 AM

I have no inclination to go beyond prosthetics, depilation below the chin, and ear piercing. Hormones and MTF surgery are not in the cards for me.

Mollyanne

04-28-2014, 11:43 AM

IF I COULD "GO ALL THE WAY" I WOULD!!!!!!! I'M TO OLD TO REALLY FULFILL MY LIFE LONG DREAM SO I HAVE COMPROMISED, AND I DRESS WHENEVER I CAN AND IF I CAN'T DO THAT THEN I "UNDERDRESS". I CAN TELL YOU THAT THE FEEL OF PANTYHOSE ON MY LEGS, A BRA AROUND MY CHEST AND PANTIES SOOTHES THE "BEAST THAT LIVES INSIDE ME"

Molly

NicoleScott

04-28-2014, 02:07 PM

Why would someone wish to be TS? Why not just wish to be a GG? I mean, if this is just a wishing exercise....

StaceyJane

04-28-2014, 02:11 PM

Why would someone wish to be TS? Why not just wish to be a GG? I mean, if this is just a wishing exercise....
Okay, yes I wish so desperately that I had been born a woman. I really hate the fact that I was born male.

JamieTG

04-28-2014, 04:58 PM

If I were younger I would want more feminine features either through implants or hormones but I don't see myself going all the way with SRS.

JennyLynn

04-28-2014, 05:27 PM

Happy to be a man, but love being feminine. Best of both worlds. Feel bad for trannys. How do you know where to belong? It must be terribly difficult.

marsha leanne

04-28-2014, 05:40 PM

not any more. at one time, many years ago i was tempted to explore that jump. nope, i am content at what i do.

AlyssaS

04-28-2014, 05:47 PM

If the social stigma was not an issue, and I could be who I truly feel like I want to be, I'd be an incredibly feminine male. No body hair, boobs, smaller waist, bigger hips, and a nice bubble butt. But I'm not attracted to men, and I have no interest in being penetrated, so I don't want a vagina/be a complete woman.

sandra-leigh

04-28-2014, 10:38 PM

Do you subscribe to the dog theory of transsexuality:

"Oh look at the cute little transsexuality! Look, ma, it's licking my face and wagging its tail! Can I keep it, ma, can I?"

or to the cat theory of transsexuality?

"This darn transsexuality scooted in the side door as soon as I opened it to take the garbage out, and now the danged thing is walking around like it owns the place! I swear it's psychic, because every time I try to grab it to put it back outside, it hisses and claws me badly, and squirms and jumps out of my arms! The smell is offensive and there are hairballs everywhere! But still, it's been hanging around for so long that now I can't sleep properly anymore unless it is curled up on my chest."

LoriFlores

04-28-2014, 11:07 PM

Yes, I would like to transition. Family commitments/expectations and also all the necessary surgeries do present scary roadblocks. So for now I remain trapped by several dimensions :sad:

Taylor Ray

04-28-2014, 11:07 PM

Well, that escalated quickly!

The psychological aspect of the journey is very interesting, especially when comparing someone who is still ashamed of wearing woman's clothing to some of the more experienced gals here at the forum.

The proof is really right here in this forum: all roads DO NOT lead to the same place. The spectrum is not a one way street leading to "higher" or "lower". A lot of people seem to visualize the "spectrum" as a line, when really it is a multi-dimensional grid. Sometimes people end up putting other people down when trying to figure out where exactly they fit in.

My "in-congruency" or "diss-association" or "mental distress" was purely psychological, it never manifested in wanting to alter my biological genitals.

michelle az

04-29-2014, 09:12 AM

cant imagine that at age 61,just enjoy female self,

danielletorresani

04-29-2014, 10:43 AM

I fantasize about it. If I was no longer married, I'd strongly consider moving to some other open minded city where I have no family and do it. It would definitely be a hard choice, though. I also love my male side...

Suzanne F

04-29-2014, 01:13 PM

I am trying to determine what I need to be a healthy me. I also don't want to damage my family. So I am taking a year to discover what lies ahead. I am transgendered and happily accept that!
Suzanne

Alexand

05-07-2014, 05:05 AM

I have stopped trying to put a label on me because it only confuses me. I know for sure that:

1) I don't like guys, I have never looked at another guy in an erotic way
2) I enjoy being a man. I like my male appearance, my body and my character.
3) I wish I had been born a woman. I would be a lesbian but definitely would feel more like myself.
4) My physique is so masqulin that I look quite funny when dressed as a woman (I have only tried it a couple of times, it's pantyhose and thongs that I enjoy wearing on a daily basis). With my kind of body (I am quite fit after being an athlete for many years) I don't find any sense in fully dressing as a woman. If my body were more feminine on the other hand, things would be quite different. From a teenager I was wishing I were a woman.

noeleena

05-07-2014, 06:22 AM

Hi,

( You ether are a woman or not.) ???.......

Your not born... a... woman . you can grow into being one,... if.... your born female.

I did not transition ....i did not wont to be a woman had no desire to be one at all. or a male for that matter. yet i have what i ...need...

so we get into whats it like being a woman , i gave talks on this to large groups of people,

Bring female to start with though not complete as iv made sure people know, the potential was there from birth to grow into a woman, not a put on or a frabriction or a wont, just a natural growing process when the time was right,

I dont know about

The fear of leaving thier safe cover of manhood or false manhood,... sorry.... i dont know what thats like, i have no idear, thing is i did not leave something to be other than i am,

This dysphoria, again no idear.

yes i know about depression suicide and what its like to cast down your partner / mate. and totaly hurt them and you cant do any thing to help, and destroy what you had for 40 years,

maybe there are other details that were different i know that though the end result is i have grown into a woman by vertue of being female, in my makeup from birth, = different = yes.

...noeleena...

Mollyanne

05-07-2014, 06:36 AM

I have been dressing all my life 55 plus years. From the very start I felt that I was different, that there was something "not right". As I grew older I started to realize that maybe, just maybe I was intended to be female and somehow I got the male chromosome and not the female. There was no internet, no computer, no help whatsoever. I lived with "it". I liked dressing as a woman, I liked how I felt, I liked how I looked, I had lots of girl friends and I wanted to be one of them. Information started to trickle down on sex change surgery but the cost was very prohibitive at the time so I just hid my secret and did the best I could do, Get married, have kids and hope that my feeling(s) would go away. They didn't!!!!! They got stronger!!!!! Because of family responsibilities, employment responsibilities I hid my dream but also realized that I could satisfy my deepest urges by dressing the part (being a woman) and that's what I have done and doing.

Molly

Georgina

05-07-2014, 07:50 AM

I am male 24/7 and I dress 10/7 only using make up about 3 times a month. I don't know why I became attracted to female clothes, 50 years ago, but I love wearing dresses and skirts.

JessicaJJ

05-07-2014, 07:57 AM

I like being male so no I don't want to be full woman, one of the great things about being male is embracing love from your wife or gf and as a man I have to have that to be complete, if I switch sides and went for the whole change then where would that leave me on sexuality??? because you could never again be as close to your wife or gf with out that stuff, it would feel mighty weird having female parts and taking hormones, I'm happy enough bleeding both genders in the way I dress, crossdressing is in my daily routine, I've being doing it since 6 years old it's a way of life for me I know no different.

Melissa_59

05-07-2014, 08:28 AM

Sharon, I dont think there is any one-size-fits-all answer to that question.

I completely agree with this, like any group there are many different feelings and viewpoints going on and even though we share something relatively in common (many of us have blue eyes), we also have our differences and those differences can run deep.

If you're asking because of someone you know, the best thing is to ask them directly. You can't just get an 80% answer here and expect that to apply to the person you know. :)

~Mel

Samantha Clark

05-07-2014, 09:40 AM

I totally respect those who feel the need to BECOME a woman. Myself, I like being a man and feeling the zing of wearing girl clothes. That's just me.

Ressie

05-07-2014, 10:24 AM

I don't think anyone wishes or wants to be TS. Being born in the wrong body is considered a mistake by TS from what I understand. It's possible for CD to eventually become TS; sometimes it takes years to understand one's own feelings.

I had occasional thoughts and feelings that I should have been born a female when I was a teen. But with a little research I surmised that I was a CD, not TS. I do want to experience being a woman in a future life, including all aspects of being female.

Lygophilia

05-07-2014, 11:35 AM

I've thought about it at one point, since I was unhappy with being a man. The long term anorexia and schizo over the issue case almost got me. Thinking one day universally on gender was a good thing to me for just being neutral. I rather lessen submitting into delusion and hallucinations. Going through that artificial change would have gained further health problems.

Donnadcd

05-07-2014, 06:45 PM

ABSOLUTELY!!!!! In a split second. And - I find myself getting more and more frustrated for not having done anything about it - yet. Life managed to get in the way, as it seems to happen to a lot of us. I know what I need to do, just not sure how - without causing a lot of pain for others. Given the current nature of things, however, I don't think it will be very long where I may not be as "trapped" as I feel. Marriage seems to be failing apart - and that's what I've been holding onto. Maybe its meant to be.

Dana does shopping

05-07-2014, 07:53 PM

I am Transgender & I am working on becoming who I really am, female & proud of it ...

missmars

06-03-2014, 07:49 AM

I will consider SRS and transition if and only if I will be able to have full female organ. However, I hope to have natural female breasts.

Velocity

06-03-2014, 08:00 AM

I really like being a guy. While it would be fun to experience being a woman there is no way I would want that to be who I am underneath my clothes. Now if only they could improve on virtual reality simulations enough to give us a realistic experience of being a woman...

Bryanne

06-03-2014, 08:53 AM

I really enjoy the duality, being able to switch into femme mode when the urge and time allows, and then being able to go back to male mode. Granted, there are times when having some curves in the right places, and being a bit flatter in others would be great, but I don't think SRS would be the answer for me. There was a time in my later teens when I did begin to question it, but that seems to have passed over time as I've come to accept and embrace the wonderful things that being Bryanne temporarily can bring, as well as the insight that having such a duality can bring to my life.

Dianne S

06-03-2014, 10:06 AM

Cross dressing and transsexualism are NOT related.

Actually, I disagree. I think they are two different points on a spectrum and they do have certain things in common, probably even certain causes in common.

I may get flamed for this, but I think many if not most cross-dressers would transition if it were easy, painless and free of loss of income and family relationships. The primary difference between transsexuals like me and CDers like Jenniferathome, I believe, is that my gender dysphoria cannot be relieved just by occasional cross-dressing whereas Jennifer's can.

amyjacks2014

06-03-2014, 10:25 AM

^.^

First, let me get this out there. I am a woman, trapped in a man's body. Even down to the physicals. I am diabetic, and the nerve damage has reached my groin area, and has deadened my natural sexual responses just enough that I can not achieve a male orgasm. However, because of this, I can reach a near=orgasm at least twice during an encounter, so my physical responses are closer to female than male.

While I would love to do some things like face feminization and even breast construction, I would be hesitant to do anything that alters the hormonal situation. At the moment, I have what I consider to be a healthy female sexual response, so anything hormone would be out.

That plus, being diabetic means I would have to be really careful about any sort of surgical procedure.

Amy M. Jackson

Emi_

06-03-2014, 12:17 PM

The problem is that the question assumes that this is a choice or that every guy who ever put on a pair of panties automatically longs to be a woman. That is simply not the case. People are born as they are.

Laura28

06-03-2014, 12:42 PM

I guess for me is if i could wave a magic wand and be a girl when i wanted to be i would love that, But i do enjoy being male and dont want to give that up, I do wish i could have breasts full C or small D but the stigma is to much i guess. So i would have to say for me i have no real desire to transistion, i may fantize about it from time to time but that is really it.

Suzanne F

06-03-2014, 02:08 PM

I don't wish to be TS but I am. It is yet to be seen how I will handle the situation. There are several options and my wife and I are trying to find a solution we can both live with.
Suzanne

Elle1944

06-03-2014, 02:16 PM

I’m going to go back a lot of years. After my military service, discharged 1966 from active duty and I was 22 years old. I resumed my cross dressing habits and did actually consider sex reassignment surgery with a burning desire, since I always felt like I was born the wrong body. There was no internet at that time and very little spoken of about such surgeries in this country (USA), the only country at the time that I knew of was Denmark. Renee’ Richards was the first in the USA in the 70’s that was successful that I even know of, and prior to that even breast implants weren’t even heard of. I went to public libraries throughout my life researching sex reassignment surgeries and few publications had such information, some in Germany in the 1930’s. When in the 70’s John Hopkins started doing such surgeries I did find and read some but most of what I read were botched. By the 1980’s and with the AIDS epidemic few were interested being afraid they may have already been infected with HIV and of course being afraid of blood transfusions at the time also being infected. Even health professionals were not sure of how it was being transmitted, as a first aider and ER technician at the time we also had protocol’s to follow of being exposed to bodily fluids including tears from crying let alone blood, vomit, urine fecal matter and even saliva, scary times for certain. A lot of people especially homosexual’s died from AIDS and I myself was very concerned because of my kissing and fondling others just like me while in drag in Greenwich Village throughout the mid 60’s through the 70’s but was tested “negative” the many times I was tested due to my sexual encounters with other TV’s, 3 in all. None of those 3 ever tested positive and 2 of those are still alive today, we’ve kept in touch with each other.

In the early years of 1980’s after a few years of “sobriety” I sought professional help with my CD/TV lifestyle at a time when I contemplated suicide to end this double life I was living, though now known to family and a very few of my AA friends. I was still in the closet afraid of the rejection which I already received from family and friends, I didn’t want to lose my job or to be forced to resign my first aid duties and part time job’s I held in various hospital ER, Recovery, and Intensive Care Units. Over a period of time, several months of therapy, I made choices one of which was to live as a female as much as possible, still not full time, and hormone therapy. The hormones actually made me sick after a physical with my medical doctor in that I was having palpitations of the heart, arrhythmia’s which were extremely uncomfortable, and high blood pressure. My breast’s developed to a whopping A cup but were tender and sore most of the time. Needless to say, my health was more important to me in keeping fit for the sake of my children and myself and the hormone therapy was abandoned. I later in the early 90’s still thought of SRS and did more research and what I found was not to my liking on botched surgeries. With the understanding that I would not likely ever experience an orgasm as I know it today as a male after surgery.

Some that had such surgery experienced tears in the new (rectovaginal septum) membrane that separates the vagina and rectum, and after several repair attempts wound up wearing a colostomy bag for the rest of their lives. Others suffered penetration harm and painful intercourse while attempting to experience sex with a male partner. Still there were others who found out they made the wrong decision and found it difficult if not impossible to reassign them back to their male state. Still most others are totally satisfied and very happy and content with their reassignment surgeries. These days though who knows, studies have shown that few of these botched surgeries are experienced today, like everything else, it seems no worse than having an appendix or gall bladder removed or even open heart surgery, they have come a long way. But at my age 70, I’ll pass on it and be glad I am still whole.

Eselka

06-03-2014, 04:40 PM

I'm happy with who I am right now, and have no desire to go further on the road. I actually seriously considered it a few years ago, but I realized I didn't want to pick one particular gender and I like getting the proverbial best of both worlds. And I second the idea that there is no universal answer, each story is a different story - which is what makes the world an interesting place by the way :)

typhoidmary

06-03-2014, 05:19 PM

I'm not sure if I want to change my gender. I definitely would rather have been born female and I don't love being male much, but I dont know, I think I'd want to be much more sure before going into a gender change. I think my gender dysphoria is mild at the most.

WhisperTV

06-03-2014, 06:27 PM

No to gender change. No to hormones.

Donnagirl

06-03-2014, 07:28 PM

No.... My boy side is by far the dominant and would not be easily suppressed. Even dressing, I don't see myself as a woman, I don't want to be a woman and I kinda like my bits just how and where they are.

NicolaF

06-03-2014, 09:53 PM

I think I am pretty androgynous when it comes to this topic. There are times when I wish i was born a girl, other times I am grateful I was born a boy. It's definitely something I have considered many times, but I know if I did fully transition there are huge parts of being male that I would miss.

devida

06-04-2014, 12:06 AM

I'm non binary, which means I don't really consider my gender to be male or female but something in between. The OP mentioned genderqueer. That term is fine and pretty close to they way I feel but non binary has a bit less baggage. I also like the term transgender as an umbrella term because it can include anyone who doesn't always present as strictly one gender or the other which includes cross dressers, transexuals and non binary people like me. I have no interest in transitioning to female, which would probably make me as unhappy as trying to be male made me.

I'm pretty sure I am part of a sizable minority here of other non binary, genderqueer or androgynous people. But you know, this is crossdresser.com so the majority of threads are going to be from people who are cross dressing. I'm not really cross dressing in the sense that I think I am gendered male and I'm dressing to present as a female. Being gendered male was just a mistake my parents, the birth doctor, and society at large made, believing that what's between my legs determined my gender. It did not and I was not truly happy until I let go of the idea that my gender had anything to do with what other people thought. I dress the way I do because it is an accurate presentation of my gender and so it makes me feel comfortable with myself. But even naked I don't see a man or a woman when I look in the mirror. I see something else, someone in between.

NavyM2F_WAM

06-04-2014, 12:47 AM

I have only started crossdressing earlier this year, but I have thought about becoming a woman for a long time. After I get out of the Navy, I plan to start my process. I don't want to be a man anymore.

Wifeofdonna

06-04-2014, 04:08 AM

Hi girls,

I just want to say, how wonderful you being honest who you are! You all make me more understand, learning and I have be smiling my face. When I read this. Now my husband and Donna is very happy and I'm happy to have both male and female.

Cheers!

SheriM

06-04-2014, 07:35 AM

I've thought about this question and it is a difficult one. First, if I could start life over again, I would choose to be a woman, hopefully an attractive woman. I really like their ability to be who they are, that means dressing up in a sexy LBD to attract the glances of all who pass by OR to go out in jeans and a tee shirt. We, as men, have to be men all the time at least in public.
With that said, I do like being a guy also. Have lots of friends who do guy things (golf, sports, beer, etc) and we have a good time. If I could have transitioned when I was younger, it may have been a possibility, however, now it would disrupt the family and the good family relationships that my wife and I share with our children. So, now it is just not a possibility.

Renee Elise

06-04-2014, 05:22 PM

Many varied perspectives and thoughtful comments; my two cents:

When I was very young, I can recall wishing to be a girl so I could wear the clothes at some point. I still ultimately liked being a boy, playing video games, legos, toy cars, fishing, hunting, etc.

When I was a teenager and still trying to make sense out of why I was turned on both by women and also by wearing their clothes, out of curiosity I wondered what it would feel like to have breasts (IMHO I think a lot of even non CD guys have thought about this at one time or another) or what girls feel like being turned on / orgasming.

At no point did I want to give up my manhood or undergo SRS. The thought of parting with my male essence was terrifying and never an option. I like relating to women as a man and being with them in the male role. That said, I wouldn't mind sharing some girly time with an understanding lady at some point ;).

wanda66

06-04-2014, 06:43 PM

Naw, just want to be me.....

Karen kc

06-05-2014, 05:36 AM

naw, I love being male and wearing female clothes. My male side is very dominant, Im jus a cd"er

Mollyanne

06-05-2014, 05:59 AM

Throughout my life I have thought about and researched changing my sex from male to female. At the time, the procedure was VERY expensive and out of touch for me. I continued on with my cd'in which brought me some fulfillment but I still wanted to become female (and I still do). I accepted the fact(s) that I was different, had other needs and wants which would not be fulfilled. Now a lifetime later, I still want to be a woman which again will not happen because of internal and external pressure(s) and responsibilities. My dressing will not cease now will my desires but I have a type of fulfillment that will satisfy me.

Molly

06-05-2014, 07:03 AM

heck If I had my choice, I would not be a cross dresser - No to TG please

NavyM2F_WAM

06-05-2014, 07:25 AM

I am a man. I do love to wear dresses, pantyhose/tights, high heels, makeup, and wigs. However, I have a deep-rooted desire to become a woman.

Pink Susan

06-08-2014, 10:53 PM

I wish to be female in every way , but keep my old fella !!!

Milou

06-09-2014, 07:46 AM

No, but at one point I did believe I had legitimate gender dysphoria. Those were some dark times. Internet self-diagnosis is a scary thing, ugh.

AshleyT

06-09-2014, 08:05 AM

I Did think about for awhile but wouldn't because of the hassle and the cost + i love being able to choose from guy mode and girl mode

NavyM2F_WAM

06-09-2014, 04:51 PM

I hate being a guy. I am not the most attractive (understatement). It would be nice to become a woman and choose how I look (how hot or normal looking).

I have never had any depression or anything. I just want to be a woman. I can't explain it.

Roxie

06-09-2014, 05:09 PM

I never thought as myself as a full time woman. however I would kill for a size c set of breast!

AmandaM

06-10-2014, 12:27 AM

mariehart

06-10-2014, 06:27 AM

I am TS but for various reasons, some good, some excuses. I won't be transitioning soon. I didn't choose to be this way. I just am. Despite being TS I more often contribute here in the CD section than in the TS forum. In part it's because I feel a bit of a fake. I say I'm TS but for all anyone knows. I'm just fantasising about transitioning.

In any case in practical terms I'm a CD. It's necessary for me in order to cope with my gender dysphoria which is a constant companion. That I think is the measure of whether or not you are TS. It's like chronic pain, you can ignore sometimes but it's there all the time and it can wear you out. Dressing as a woman is like an analgesic, albeit temporary. I am experimenting with permanent under dressing and it helps a bit.

I wish it would go away sometimes but if a Doctor told me he had a miracle pill which would make the dysphoria go away. Would I take it?

The answer is no. Because for better or worse that is the real me. Beside pill or no pill I have no idea how to behave like a man and that wouldn't change!

Sc0rp10N

06-10-2014, 07:50 AM

Simple answer to the original question is "no." So far, reading a LOT of threads in here, I feel like I'm in a very small minority here. The ONLY reason I CD is to pretend I'm a girl for a short couple hours for the sole purpose of sex (wife w/strap, not m4m). Now, for that reason, I have fantasized about completely becoming female, but it would have to be completely temporary. I AM A DUDE. In 99% of my life and like my life that way. Its just that one enjoyment I have that I prefer to play it from the other side, or at least pretend to.

Kaitlyn Michele

06-10-2014, 08:26 AM

Wishing you are a transsexual is wishing you are a woman..
it's a fantasy...saying you wish you were ts may feel like an attainable way to be a woman..

it's possible that you are using fantasy and repression to avoid dealing with being transsexual ...because if you are really transsexual, your life is going to involve some major suck..
its more about not being a man than anything, and the physical part of it will destroy any fantastical notions you probably have about your appearance...
50%+ chance you will never look like a woman and 100% chance you will never look like the fantasy woman you have in your mind when you think you want to be one..

in any case, its totally ok to wish you are a woman and express it here...

Milou

06-10-2014, 09:47 AM

Simple answer to the original question is "no." So far, reading a LOT of threads in here, I feel like I'm in a very small minority here.
You're not, and even if we are, then most of us don't even bother to sign up here.

Glenda58

06-10-2014, 05:13 PM

I would have when I was 18 if I had known that this wasn't some kind of phase I was going though. But at 66 with wife and kids and grandkids they all know as dad or papa. I'm happy to go back and fro between a man and a woman.

geri

06-10-2014, 06:49 PM

if the technology was there 50 years ago and I knew more, I would definitely be Geri Danielle as I sit here and type.
I was on HRT and grew great boobs and my skin got softer. but as I aged, i had double knee replacement, back surgery and a pacemaker, I can't even go out anymore, which really ticks me off.
so through therapy I did find out that I'm bi and that works for me. I found a friend and we have a great time together.

kisses,
geri

Carmen de Rafael

06-10-2014, 07:15 PM

Thought about SRS as a teen. That thought went away quickly because I want to keep my "pillar and stones" (yes, GoT quote).

I love dressing up as a woman and being feminine, but I am still a guy inside, making me a CD.

Saikotsu

06-10-2014, 07:35 PM

There are definitely times where I feel I could take it further. But I also enjoy the male side as well. If I was limited to female only, I would likely feel the same way I do now about the female side. I am somewhere in the middle gender wise, and the best for me is to be where I am at and make the best of it.
This sums up my experience quite well. I identify as gender fluid, some days I wish I was a woman, but other days I'm proud to be a man. I dress to express my current position on the spectrum. Some days I'm more male than female. Other days I'm more female than male. However, I'm always 100% me...transitioning would do me no good.

sometimes_miss

06-10-2014, 09:53 PM

It seems that there is still mis information here from some very long time members. If you are TS, you were born TS. Anything in between was denial. You cannot be a cross dresser who may someday, maybe, if karma is good, perhaps, transition. [U]It is a driving force so great you will be willing to lose everything you have ever had to quiet the dysphoria.
And yet, here it is again; the presumption that how one transsexual feels, must mean that all transsexuals feel the exact same way, at the exact same point in life. How long is it going to take, before people here realize that we are all just a little (or a lot) different? This is not like having a heart attack, or appendicitis, where there are specific things that must be done within a certain period of time to insure the patient survives. There are plenty of non op transsexuals out there who have lived their entire lives dealing successfully with the knowledge that they weren't going to ever become the sex and gender that they wanted to be. Yes, it's difficult to accept our situation in life, but it's not impossible to live with. I'm sure there are more than a few people here who deal with this situation every day.

Charla McBee

06-11-2014, 12:47 AM

I could never go all the way. I've been deeply suppressing my feminine side for years but the masculine in me is also legitimate. Going full TS would simply be reversing the situation. I'd end up suppressing guy mode and would probably get the same dysphoria. If I end up doing anything trans it would probably be a lighter form of HRT to try and balance me out and stay sane.

ReineD

06-11-2014, 01:03 AM

There are plenty of non op transsexuals out there who have lived their entire lives dealing successfully with the knowledge that they weren't going to ever become the sex and gender that they wanted to be. Yes, it's difficult to accept our situation in life, but it's not impossible to live with. I'm sure there are more than a few people here who deal with this situation every day.

Right, but if they've lived their entire lives that way, then they were always TS, correct? :)

I agree that CDers don't "become" TS. If you believe this, then it implies that the nature of gender identity can change, which then makes it possible to have a reversal the other way through something like aversion therapy?

Same with homosexuals ... they don't "become" gay. They're born that way and there is no amount of aversion therapy that can change this.

Saikotsu

06-11-2014, 03:04 AM

I would argue that gender identity CAN change and I'll give an example. I can count a couple of situations from my own personal experience. For instance, I'll be talking to people who don't know about Adyson. To them I've always been Adam. They will refer to me as "he" and they will think of me as male. Somedays, I'll have a distinct unconscious response to that. "No, I'm a SHE." Other days, if you refer to me as "she" I'll get the same response, "No, I am a HE". Just the other day, I was in a group of crossdressers and transsexuals. One of them referred to me as "he" and she covered her mouth in horror at her "mistake" . That day, I had a mixed identity, I was going for equal parts male and female, and was dressed as such. She made all these efforts to apologize to me, saying how she should have asked for my pronoun, despite my assurance that I didn't care, she was welcome to call me whichever pronoun she preferred. And at the time, I could care less what she called me.
For me, and individuals like me, the term genderfluid remains the same, but what that term means changes from day to day, hour to hour. My gender identity at least is very fluid, and changes all the time.

Anyway, I think that gender identity is incredibly difficult to pin down because its so intimately linked with our sense of self.

Aprilrain

06-11-2014, 04:53 AM

TS is just about the last thing I wanted to be but alas here I am. I just got tired of suppressing the need to be who I am whatever that is. All I really know for sure is I need to have a female body, I need the world to react to me as a female, I need to be in relationships as a female, especially intimate relationships. Transition isn't perfect but it's allowed me to keep my sanity and living authentically has removed a lot of BS from my life.

Charla McBee

06-11-2014, 05:24 AM

Transition isn't perfect but it's allowed me to keep my sanity and living authentically has removed a lot of BS from my life.

That's what I am looking for, authenticity. We all might be much happier that way, pursuing whatever it is we each need to be fulfilled.

arbon

06-11-2014, 10:24 AM

When I came here it was to be a better crossdresser hoping I could get to a point where I could cope. But I sucked at being a cross dresser, I could not get the fun part. Cross dressing just made me miserable and depressed because I could not really be who I wanted to be. I did not want to transition though, I did not want to think I was transsexual, but I could not keep living the way I was either. It was all messed up!

transitioning you can get to a place where you are true to yourself, and feel at peace with yourself, if you are a transsexual. But the journey to get there can be painfully brutal. When I read the title of this thread I think why in world would anyone wish to be that? The experience of actually transitioning can be very bitter.

ReineD

06-11-2014, 01:05 PM

For me, and individuals like me, the term genderfluid remains the same, but what that term means changes from day to day, hour to hour. My gender identity at least is very fluid, and changes all the time.

Apparently you are gender non-conforming (outside the gender binary). I argue that you always have been and this will not change, no matter how much you fluctuate given that fluctuation is normal for you.

Above, I was referring to the idea that someone who is solidly male-identified does not become solidly female-identified.

Charla McBee

06-13-2014, 03:33 AM

Apparently you are gender non-conforming (outside the gender binary). I argue that you always have been and this will not change, no matter how much you fluctuate given that fluctuation is normal for you.

Above, I was referring to the idea that someone who is solidly male-identified does not become solidly female-identified.

I'm quite similar being bigender and I generally agree with you that I've always been that way, I just didn't want to think about it or acknowledge it. I only recently made this discovery about my identity but that doesn't mean that at 27 I suddenly "decided" to be this way. Rather, I spent months on research and honest self-reflection trying to stop suppressing myself and figure it all out. Bigender was the first term I came across that really seemed to fit and looking all the way back to my childhood it fits in perfectly with the narrative of my life.

We can deny what we are, we can tell ourselves lies, we can refuse to think about it and we can even be mistaken for years at a time but in the end we are what we are. Although I would contend that there are some rare exceptions out there.

Saikotsu

06-14-2014, 12:34 AM

My experiences were largely the same, though I didn't make a conscious effort to not think about stuff, I simply didn't take the time to explore my identity until later.

Apparently you are gender non-conforming (outside the gender binary). I argue that you always have been and this will not change, no matter how much you fluctuate given that fluctuation is normal for you.

Above, I was referring to the idea that someone who is solidly male-identified does not become solidly female-identified.
I'd rather avoid a discussion of terms, but I will say that while gender non-conforming does fit, its not a term I would use to describe myself, because I very much feel that I am a part of the gender binary. While I may fluctuate between male and female, I always have a solid grasp on where I fall within those two terms. If for example, I somedays felt that I was a third or fourth gender entirely, I would be more willing to describe myself as being outside the binary, or gender non conforming.

However, I get what you're saying. I did not simply decide one day that I was going to become gender fluid. It was always there, but I simply wasn't ready to accept it until I was in college.

Tinkerbell-GG

06-14-2014, 12:52 AM

I wish I was a woman. A beautiful woman like you see on the street or in a magazine. I want to have that body. The soft skin, the delicate features. The pleasant demeanor of a dignified society girl. The free spirit of a tanned, blonde surfer girl. The experience of estrogen-filled teens becoming women. Where clothes, makeup, and other feminine trappings are natural to me, to my body, to my psyche. To look at the sun on a warm summer day as drops of sweat glisten on my svelte figure as I glide casually along the boardwalk. A dream of dreams. But it will never happen. I can never be that girl. Even with SRS and FFS I will never be her. Do I want to "become" a woman? No. But I wish I born one. Alas, I'll never be an astronaut either. But I can dream. Is this folly? Is this an exercise in futility? Probably. But these thoughts exist. I don't know why. I don't think I ever will.

This post (and so many others here) is going to be the inspiration behind Tink's next thought of the week :)

I mean, wow, womanhood sure sounds nice coming from a male perspective. I actually happen to look a lot like the surfer girl you described, yet I can't remember a time when I got excited about my own body walking a boardwalk, or cared one whit that my skin glistened. I'd be upset I was sweating! lol.

I think the answer to this original question lies in some of the responses here. There's a definite disconnect between what real life is like as a female and what you all imagine it's like. I think the woman inside many here is a man's version. That alone should help you all answer the OP's question??

Christen

06-14-2014, 12:59 AM

I've thought about this thread for some time. I can only agree with those who say that no-one 'wishes' to be transsexual, or transgender, or gender dysphoric.
I have read many articles by people who have had gender reassignment surgery at various ages and can see some people know from a very early age they were born with the wrong body, as well as people who have known there's something wrong but not been able to understand what the problem is. Either way it's not a wish, or an "I'd rather".

Me, I'm a plain vanilla crossdresser, happy to the guy who loves to frock up. My heart goes out to those who know something is deeply wrong and are either doing something about it or just struggling.

Christen x

ReineD

06-14-2014, 01:07 AM

However, I get what you're saying. I did not simply decide one day that I was going to become gender fluid. It was always there, but I simply wasn't ready to accept it until I was in college.

Exactly! There are males who are strictly at the male end of the spectrum who would never wish to abandon their maleness (even if they crossdress), females who are strictly at the other end of the spectrum and who would never wish to abandon their femaleness, and gender fluid people like you who fluctuate.

The point earlier was that solidly identified males, even if they crossdress, do not magically turn into male-bodied individuals who solidly identify as females (transsexuals). Transsexuals are born this way even if they go through a period of denial. And most TSs that I know, once they finally accept themselves, have said that they fundamentally always knew they were TS.

Camilla

06-14-2014, 03:34 AM

Hi Sharon,
never wish to be a full transexual, I think is a different thing is a change of sex. I feel good to crossdress when i can and I feel, is a special part of me.
I feel a man but love to be the "femme" Camilla whem I can and feel, is wonderful to play my feminine role, wear female dresses and shoes and I think is wonderful to share my passions and thoughts here in this forum.
There are a lot of nice and supportive people here, always ready to listen and help you, people that understand and share my special femme world.
Yes, I am a crossdresser...and I feel good this way, part time a man and part Camilla. Try to discover into you who you are...the answer is there...:)
Hugs

NavyM2F_WAM

06-14-2014, 07:01 AM

I know God has had a reason for me to wait this long (almost 37) to start crossdressing. And He must know why it will be close to 39 or 45 when I get the earliest chance to start my transition to become a woman. However, I have wanted the latter part for years and years.

AmandaM

06-14-2014, 12:26 PM

This post (and so many others here) is going to be the inspiration behind Tink's next thought of the week :)
I mean, wow, womanhood sure sounds nice coming from a male perspective. I actually happen to look a lot like the surfer girl you described, yet I can't remember a time when I got excited about my own body walking a boardwalk, or cared one whit that my skin glistened. I'd be upset I was sweating! lol.
I think the answer to this original question lies in some of the responses here. There's a definite disconnect between what real life is like as a female and what you all imagine it's like. I think the woman inside many here is a man's version. That alone should help you all answer the OP's question??

I don't know if there is a disconnect in my post. You said "excited", I didn't mean that, I meant "envy". Even genetic women wish they were more beautiful like women on TV, etc. Some people wish they were taller, or better looking, or richer. Maybe it's just because I can't have it. Kinda like an allergic kid who can't have a puppy. He desires it more. Or possibly, sexual desire became attached oddly to the woman's essence and not just her body, and that makes a crossdresser. We've had this discussion here before. If an erotically-driven crossdresser can detach the sexual component from crossdressing, does the desire to be a woman remain? If so, what remains might be a transsexual. I think this might be possible. I knew a transsexual. She told me she used to always masturbate to women's catalogs pre-surgery, but now she just looks at the clothes as any woman would. Like I said before. I don't know why I have these feelings. Wish I did!

MissTee

06-14-2014, 11:01 PM

I absolutely do NOT want to transition. I simply want to dress like a girl occasionally.

missmars

06-17-2014, 01:11 PM

If i lost my whole testes by cancer or accidant, I will consider SRS.

PaulaQ

06-17-2014, 01:47 PM

It's not so much that gender identity changes - I don't for a minute believe that it does. However, what does change is the severity of your gender dysphoria. At some point, the misery you feel living as a man exceeds your ability to suppress those feelings and you have to transition. Likewise, I think the pressures that encourage one to resist transition have an influence - and these can certainly lessen, although they are still quite severe.

If your gender dysphoria is pretty mild - you'll just be a crossdresser. If it's severe, you'll transition. I suspect a lot of it has to do with how much of your identity really is female. I think it's also possible that there are actually three related parts of your brain that can be affected somehow:
- sexual orientation
- gender identity
- gender expression
A feminine gay man would have a feminized sexual orientation, and gender expression to a lesser extent. A CD would a fairly normal male sexual orientation, a small amount of feminine gender identity, and some (possibly a lot) of feminine gender expression. A transsexual may have all three affected, or only a couple, but the gender identity will be pretty solidly female. (You find TSs who aren't very feminine and never CDed. At the other extreme, you have little kids who can't even stand dressing as their assigned at birth sex.) So it seems to me that it's likely a function of three variables.

And I'll just reiterate that being transsexual is something I wouldn't wish on a terrorist. To be true to yourself and comfortable in your own skin, you give up your humanity in the eyes of much of the world's population. You'll face discrimination, violence, and the emotional upheavals before and during transition can be nightmarish. (You just haven't lived until you've had nightmares about your genitals nearly every night.) You'll also likely lose a lot, sometimes everything, in the process. Me? I'm 51 years old. I've worked my whole life and accomplished a lot. I had homes, cars, a family, and at this point, 10 months into my transition, I pretty much have next to nothing to show for all of that. Having "next to nothing" makes me one of the lucky ones! Lots of us end up with "nothing."

Assuming you don't commit suicide first.

You don't want this.

KaylaRoxx

06-17-2014, 02:15 PM

PaulaQ

06-17-2014, 02:19 PM

@KaylaRoxx - who would tell you that you don't have the guts, and that's why you don't transition? I think you aren't in enough pain and discomfort over your gender to transition - which makes you quite lucky.

KaylaRoxx

06-17-2014, 02:33 PM

I'm not saying that i have no problems at all with my identity. but it's just not bad enough that i feel the need to lose my normal male functions. I've had people tell me that, amongst other things on thing on other sites that i used to go on before i joined here.

ReineD

06-17-2014, 02:50 PM

I ****ing hate being told that the only reason i don't want to fully transition is because "i don't have the guts" or whatever.

I don't blame you. Or, when they say that you must be in denial, or that you will increasingly be uncomfortable with being a man as you age. :p

I think a lot of members here feel like you do.

PaulaQ

06-17-2014, 02:53 PM

@Kayla - if you aren't uncomfortable enough, transition isn't for you. As for being gutless, we're all scared as hell when we start out. Unless your fear makes you live with unmanageable misery, I don't see it as a problem. No one but you can judge such a thing anyway.

Saepe

06-17-2014, 02:55 PM

I'd probably want to be a man had I been born a genetic girl. I'm not unhappy being a man, I'm just also happy dressing feminine sometimes. I think the proper term for someone like me is androgyne, though I have yet to see any gender specialists or therapists. So, no, I don't think I wish to be a full transexual. I have considered mild DIY HRT to get a body somewhere in the middle, though.

Lorileah

06-17-2014, 02:58 PM

If i lost my whole testes by cancer or accidant, I will consider SRS.

that is a fascinating statement. Sort of "If I am no longer a whole man, I would become a woman"? I wonder did you mean you ARE a TS just have no plans to have surgery. Or, do you see the gonads as imperative to being male?

(sorry, this may just be a failure to communicate because of language. I am respectful that you can speak English. I cannot speak any Korean)

I ****ing hate being told that the only reason i don't want to fully transition is because "i don't have the guts" or whatever. i don't want to transition because i don't want to lose my male genitals, or my reproductive function. I do want to have kids some day after all. Now that said i don't mind doing things to feminize myself in other ways that are not permanent or maybe less permanent. Whoa! Who said that? We are all on our own journey. Personally I never felt the need to procreate. Has nothing to do with my GID. I just never wanted children. We all have our reasons to have or not have surgery. If you go back 4 years and read what I posted then I said I would never even consider it, too old, don't want to spend the money...I always knew I was TS, I just didn't think I would be a surgical TS. Things change. But let them change on your terms, not the people here

Kaitlyn Michele

06-17-2014, 02:58 PM

The best reason to not transition is because you are a man..

The whole question is just a way to fantasize (which is fine with me)..

Do furries want to be full squirrels?

susmitha

06-17-2014, 09:39 PM

Actually I do not know. I have taken SAGE test and got scor 655, indicating that I am a fit case for being considered TS. But I do n't like to have sex with a genetic male. However, I like only the female role during lovemaking. I have no plans for SRS.

KaylaRoxx

06-18-2014, 05:35 AM

id never heard of this sage test thing so i looked it up and tried it myself... i really dont get how the scoring for it works. it gave me a 625 or something like that, and basically told me that i'm more masculine than even i myself think i am sometimes. i think it gave me masculine on everything but appearance, which was androgynous. not quite sure how to feel about that actually.

Aprilrain

06-18-2014, 05:36 AM

I ****ing hate being told that the only reason i don't want to fully transition is because "i don't have the guts" or whatever. i don't want to transition because i don't want to lose my male genitals, or my reproductive function. I do want to have kids some day after all. Now that said i don't mind doing things to feminize myself in other ways that are not permanent or maybe less permanent.

Transition has nothing to do with "guts". Pain and misery are great motivators!

You can always bank sperm if you absolutely must have biological children, also there is adoption.

In my experience most men do not want to lose their male sexual abilities, they seem to be rather attached.

Isn't non permanent feminization a fancy way of saying crossdressing?

Raychel

06-18-2014, 05:48 AM

I am happy being a man, no desire or need to be anything else for me.
I just happen to like to dress in the finer clothes.

Jessy Jamz

06-18-2014, 09:15 AM

Everyone is different. For me I have no interest in srs, but I absolutely do in hrt. Why haven't I gone through with it? I don't think it has to do with lacking "guts", that's kind of insulting, but at the same time it is a huge deal and there definitely is some fear there of how things would turn out. My main reason for not going through with it is practicality I guess. i'm married and have a son and my actions and decisions have direct and very significant impacts on my family. I definitely struggle with how much of my self to comprimise. My wife is supportive but if I transitioned I know we would separate. She is straight and wants to be married to a functional male, for which I don't blame her. It's an issue that's constantly on my mind.

missmars

06-22-2014, 01:38 AM

that is a fascinating statement. Sort of "If I am no longer a whole man, I would become a woman"? I wonder did you mean you ARE a TS just have no plans to have surgery. Or, do you see the gonads as imperative to being male?

(sorry, this may just be a failure to communicate because of language. I am respectful that you can speak English. I cannot speak any Korean)

Whoa! Who said that? We are all on our own journey. Personally I never felt the need to procreate. Has nothing to do with my GID. I just never wanted children. We all have our reasons to have or not have surgery. If you go back 4 years and read what I posted then I said I would never even consider it, too old, don't want to spend the money...I always knew I was TS, I just didn't think I would be a surgical TS. Things change. But let them change on your terms, not the people here

I think I am not TS. I want children I always love woman. I have masculine brain. I will never inhibit my fertility. I never consider and will never consider SRS unless I lose testises. Losing testis means I am no longer a fertile man and I have no source of masculine hormone.

Carrie R

06-22-2014, 01:51 AM

I enjoy being a plain guy. Never felt I was a woman trapped in my body, and dressing up is lot of work that I don't do it all that often.

NavyM2F_WAM

06-22-2014, 02:15 AM

Carrie,

You almost look like a genetic woman in your avatar!

Carrie R

06-22-2014, 02:40 AM

Wow, thanks, swear I'm not though. Have plenty of worse photos I could show, but why?

NavyM2F_WAM

06-22-2014, 05:04 AM

No problem. I would like to be able to look like a genetic woman!

Carrie R

06-22-2014, 06:00 AM

Me too! Have any tips? :D

missmars

08-08-2014, 12:01 PM

Now, I identify as bigender. I want to have female breast. If I lost my whole testes by cancer or accidant, I will consider SRS. But theis reason was changed one month ago. So I will consider SRS when I are faced a few other situation.

CynthiaD

08-08-2014, 01:15 PM

I don't want to have SRS. I'm more receptive to the idea of HRT, but I have no overwhelming desire for that either. Yes, I'm a woman with male body parts. It's not a disease. It doesn't need to be cured. I'm not "trapped in the wrong body." I am totally normal. (A bit boring, in fact.)

Brianna_H

08-08-2014, 03:47 PM

For me I have no interest in srs, but I absolutely do in hrt.

I identify with this statement. Surgery and hospitals scare the daylights out of me.

I'm still figuring out where I'm going with this (crossdressing, transgender issues, etc.), so I'm just trying to be more aware of my feelings and reactions as I live. Right now, I keep having the strong desire to be identified as female and interact with my co-workers and others as female. I get along really well with the ladies I work with, I just feel like there is still a barrier. I have no interest in hanging out or relating to my male co-workers.

At this moment, I believe I am TS, but I'm waiting for therapy and time to verify. I don't dress for glamour, though it's nice to look pretty. I dress because it feels right. Most of my skirts are ripped up heavy metal t-shirts. When I'm dressed I don't feel like I have to filter my mannerisms or emotions.

My wife, who is taking this all very well, asked me last night. "Are you happy?" My honest reply was, "Yes." Since I started dressing and spending time (almost entirely with her) in "drag" (aka what feels right), I have been a much happier person. The suicidal mope I was in my 20s & 30s seems like a distant nightmare. I know I still have a long and painful journey ahead, but since switching tracks to "I am really a girl" mode, everything just seems so much clearer.

Sorry for the long answer. I'm not sure where this train is headed, exactly, but I'm glad I hopped on... finally.

Cara Lacey

08-08-2014, 08:25 PM

janetcgtv

08-10-2014, 08:09 PM

What's a full transsexual? Do you mean to have SRS or how about those who are but can't for health or monetary reasons?
If you are transsexual? You are every bit are one.

Julie Denier

08-10-2014, 08:13 PM

No, I am a man who occasionally enjoys wearing women's clothes. I have no desire to alter my very male body, or to live my life on a day to day basis as a woman.
For me it is like a hobby... With an erotic element. But 95% of the time I am all guy.

That pretty much describes me as well, though with the opportunities I have to dress, it's more like 99% guy for me ...

maya1love

08-10-2014, 08:20 PM

Just a feminine crossdresser here. I have no desire to do hrt or srs. I love my body the way it is! However, I would get laser hair removal on my face and get a little nose job.

Renee Elise

08-10-2014, 08:33 PM

No way, I love being a guy too much and being with women to risk damaging my equipment (yes I am attached to it lol!). I'm content to let my inner lady have her time occasionally and really look forward to being completely feminine sometimes. It's so much work to get ready too...wouldn't want to do that every day. I have complete and total appreciation for what women go through to look their best.

DeniseNJ

08-10-2014, 08:42 PM

Well at my age NOPE but when I felt this way back in 1966 , If I was 8 years old in todays more accepting age and my mother wanted me to be happy I would want to start living my live as a girl in my early teens. I would want to be totally transforned and a complete woman by 18. Feeling like I do I would still like girls . We must all agree when we dress we feel good . If we really look female when dressed that is a major + and a ego boost. I believe most crossdressers have some horemones in their bodys that make them idenfy with women. The other day I saw this pretty 40 something woman working in a quickie mart , Her nails looked great so I complimented her on them , then I realized that she needed a fill and I said yea but it time for a fill. She laughed and smiled and said it pretty bad when a guy tells a woman that she need fills on her nails , what guy knows that, I said I do and smiled...

Seana Summer

08-10-2014, 09:17 PM

I've thought about it (the question that is) and the answer is still NO for me! At one time I considered what it would be like to look more feminine, maybe do something to be more passable. Maybe do something permanent about the facial hair......but really I just like wearing the clothing. I guess it makes me odd round here, but I do not want to be a women........I just like to dress like one once in a while.

Guess that just makes me a plain ole borer CDer!!

GailNightshade

08-10-2014, 09:26 PM

Ok here goes,
Having been to this site and read the stories and input here, i am most definitely dual gendered.
i like being a man because i get to do certain activities that are accepted as male only
i like being a woman because i get to do certain activities that are accepted as female only
There is no way that, I being who i am could limit myself to just one gender accepted role

that being said
One day, the societal norms will break down enough to accept people for who they are without stigma and for the sake of future generations i hope they do

Laura J

08-11-2014, 06:12 AM

My thoughts seem to change quite a lot with time. I never really want to be a man, but it is not enough to actually want to change. Sometimes the feeling I need to change is very strong, other times not so much. I guess that makes me a TG. I also love my family too much to lose them.

Isabella Ross

08-11-2014, 03:25 PM

Nope, wouldn't do it. Love being a girl/boy...

im-sparkles

08-11-2014, 06:50 PM

I want to but never will because of work family and friends. I've been male for 37 yrs. I want the same time as a beautiful woman.

sometimes_miss

08-12-2014, 07:38 AM

Right, but if they've lived their entire lives that way, then they were always TS, correct? :)

I agree that CDers don't "become" TS. If you believe this, then it implies that the nature of gender identity can change, which then makes it possible to have a reversal the other way through something like aversion therapy?

Same with homosexuals ... they don't "become" gay. They're born that way and there is no amount of aversion therapy that can change this.

First, I do believe that there are some crossdressers that 'become' TS. Not all, but some. And if you talk to all the TS out there, you'll find some. Not all, but some.

I'm still one who believes that our minds continue to develop throughout our lives. So you don't have to be born TS, CD or TG to eventually become that way. After all, if you DO believe that the moment you come out of the birth canal is the moment that your gender is stamped in stone, how would you decide exactly at which moment it happened? Does the moment change for people who come out head first rather than butt first? Or how about for people who are born a few days late or a few days early. Or months early. What about them? When does their gender get stamped into stone? The obvious answer is, it doesn't. It's pretty safe to say that we really don't know exactly when our self identification of which gender we are, and which gender we are turned on by, becomes permanent, or even if it does at all. All these arguments about when we 'become' straight or gay, TS TG or CD, all of it is because right now those of us in those 'alternate' lifestyles need a defense against the nuts who insist that WE chose what we are, and because they insist that it's preventable. Which, who knows, it may be, but right not we certainly do not know, as there's absolutely no evidence to support those theories. NONE. Because for every theory of who becomes what and when, there are people who don't fit that theory. The best example is that I grew up with several guys who turned out being gay. And I had discussed it with them, later in life, about when they knew that they were homosexual. NONE OF THEM SAID IT WAS WHEN THEY WERE KIDS. None. So much for the born that way theory accounting for all homosexuals. It simply doesn't fit everyone. And I wasn't born a crossdresser. I became one somewhere between the ages of six and oh, about eight or nine, and there were definitely outside influences that caused it to happen. Now I'm not saying that every crossdresser is the result of being molested between the ages of six and nine. What I'm saying, is that there is a multitude of causes for gender dysphoria, and we shouldn't believe that another person's experience is 'wrong' just because it doesn't match our own.

BillieAnneJean

08-21-2014, 03:21 PM

Ain't never gonna happen.

I like being a guy too much. And being able to CHOOSE to be a guy makes it all the better. So CDing makes me happier to be a guy because t isn't by default.

And I get to escape the alpha male thing when I choose to. So I get to experience a sorta female me

And I get to be the SO of an incredible person.

So even if I had a magic wand and could instantly change to a woman, no. Being a guy most of the time and Cding when I want to, for me, is the best of both worlds.

SUCH FUN!

But those that do, those that have a real need, who can only be happy transitioning, my heart goes out to them.

Kris Avery

08-21-2014, 06:35 PM

Yep, I love to be able to swear, get dirty, and be a provider that is highly respected in their career and has a great SO and blended family - a wonderful life. Hard work...but worthwhile.

However, I'm still a 'girl soul' inside who loves to be 'deliciously different' as well as emotional, compassionate, caring, pretty, loves being pampered at the spa, and is definitely connected and in total touch with the female end of things.

In this vein, I love satin and silks and love to take the female form when I can at home.

I'm happy enough to experiment with what I have got and are not getting out a hacksaw.
If I could, I'd love bigger breasts and some longer hair ...but it really ends there for me.

I'm complete....by being a girl as blended as her family.:battingeyelashes:

JuliaM

08-21-2014, 06:55 PM

SRS...no way! HRT, would love too! I have not problem mixing parts :o

susmitha

08-21-2014, 09:54 PM

I don'think I want to be fully TS. I love to wear fem clothes. I don't like the male role in bed. I like to be treated as the female during intimacy. But I like to pee standing up. I don't like monthly periods and pregnancy also. I don't know where exactly I stand.

wilt575

08-22-2014, 07:04 PM

I guess its kind of yes and no thing. I would not mind losing my boy bits down there and getting girl's instead. I have always wanted to know what it would be like to have sex as a woman in the female role, his orgasm and ejackulation inside me. I'm not gay, just want to know what female feels during sex, I don't even know if transsexuals can have hetrosexual relationships. But don't see why not there "women" after the surgery.

Barbara Ella

08-22-2014, 08:54 PM

As compared to a half transexual? transexual is who you are. You cannot be a little pregnant, you either are or you are not. If you are, there are things you can, and even must do to achieve inner peace. Not all Transexuals do the same things to arrive at their inner peace. My state of mind is definitely TS. My age, and family only allow me HRT at present, and Electrolysis next month...at present. As my life progresses, what i can do may change, and I will advance in my transition.

Regardless of what one does, it is the mindset, the physical and mental imbalance that puts one in the room as TS.

Barbara

Amanda1128

08-22-2014, 09:00 PM

There are days I feel I would like it. I would definatly try it if it were reversable.

Rachael_TX

08-22-2014, 09:15 PM

I would enjoy presenting full time as female, but i would not surgicly alter my body. Just want to be pretty and have people accept me for who I am. There is nothing i do that requires me to necessarily present as male

Thea Pauline

08-22-2014, 09:21 PM

Oh, geez. Thank you so much Samantha! Seriously. Your response was considered and accurate. I would like to interject one 'however'. As one who knows: I cannot imagine anyone wanting to be transexual if they really thought about what was truly involved. I have strained or lost EVERY relationship I had in the world and had to begin again; some, I have yet to test.

To paraphrase PaulaQ; At times, death would be a mercy. I still live this and I'm sorry anyone would have to experience that feeling. I see you sister.

But we stand up, we persevere. Lorileah and I agree that we want to be respected for who we are, for what we have, and can achieve. She stated something to the effect that it would have been easy to not, but unpleasant. I cannot, not. I have to transition and cannot stop it for the life of me. Five years ago, the concept would have been inconceivable (and yes, that word DOES mean what I think it means), now surgery is in my future.

Unless the entire OP was frivilous, then, never mind. :D

SuzanneS

08-22-2014, 09:27 PM

If I understand the question correctly.....Good lord, yes, I would love to be a full fledged female.... Too much family and friends wayyy too close, though. If I could ever take it upon myself to just pick up, leave to a new part of the country, start completely over, where I wouldn't hurt anyone that knows me as a male, yes....I soooooo would.

Suzanne

DebbieL

08-22-2014, 09:58 PM

No, since I first understood the concept of "Wish" I have wished I was a girl. Jiminy Cricket sang "When you wish upon a star" - I spent the next moth staying up so I could see a star and wish that I was a girl.
Wishing on birthay candles "Wished I Was a girl". Wishbone of the turkey - wished I was a girl. Prayers for miracles - I'd pray for 4-5 hours every night - to be a girl. Every fairy tale was wishing I was a girl.
Beauty and the beast - the evil witch had turned me into a boy - a beast. I'd look in the mirror and close my eyes and wish that I would open them and see a pretty little girl.

Any TV show where a man and woman somehow switched bodies, I would try to find out everything I could about the fictional machines, hoping there was an element of H.G. Wells prophetic nature.

I learned as much as I could about being a girl. I learned to cook when I was 6, to sew when I was 7, to help change my sister's diapers, to do laundry, to vacuum. I learned to crochet, then to knit, I'd help my mother line knitted coats. I'd read women's magazines. Most of my friends were girls, and those boys who were friends had to keep it a secret so they didn't get assaulted too.

I searched the public library for anything related to sex changes, and found nothing.

I didn't have testes. I didn't even realize that was unusual. When I was 10 my father tried to explain "the birds and bees", actually sexuality, in very technical terms. At one point, I asked why I didn't have what other boys had, and he drew a picture. He said mine were "up inside, like ovaries" - I lit up hoping that this meant that I really WAS a girl.

For me, dressing up was the BOOBY PRIZE. When I dressed up, I would imagine myself in church or in school, as a girl. It was painful, lonely, and there were days that I would wear something to bed, hoping that my parents would see me in mom's slip, a nighty, or a teddy, and would want to have a serious conversation.

When my testes dropped, I freaked out - because I knew that I would become a hideous beast - I'd grow hair everywhere, have a horrible low voice, and my willie would get bigger. I tried to shove them back inside, I pushed so hard I passed out in the bathtub. I tried to find books and periodicals about castration, how it was done. I tried some of the non-surgical approaches, including wrapping them with rubber bands, putting them in a vice, and puttting them under a 2x4 and hitting the board with a big hammer. I would pour hot, almost boiling water on them. I'd get the bathtub so hot it would blister my butt and legs, then sit down and hold them out so they would get the maximum heat. When the boys would beat me up and start kicking me, I would spread my legs, trying to get them to kick me down there so the doctors would have to remove them. I still don't know how I managed to be the father of 2 children.

When I found out that I had a Bass voice, I become very self-destructive. I started hanging out with the druggies, got dangerously intoxicated on a combination of booze, pot, antihistimines, and after being misdiagnosed with epilepsy (actuall drug withdrawal) valium. In my rebellion, I learned about the hindu belief in reincarnation. I began to think "If I give this body up, I can come back as a girl", I became suicidal, playing "matador" with cars while walking on a 4 lane road that was poorly lit. I'd pick fights with short guys I knew would probably kill me if their friends would stop interfering.

I wanted to die, so I could be a girl, but would I remember how much I wanted to be a girl? Would bad karma make a girl who wanted to be a boy? Would I end up in some country where women are treated horribly? How could I stack the Karma in my favor? The most horrible thought was that I would die and go to heaven (I was saved) and have to spend eternity as a boy! That would be like hell.

What I didn't know, because my parents were afraid to tell me, is that they were trying to protect me from the "Cure" which involved frying my brains with electricity until I didn't care about my gender, and if that didn't work, they would do a lobotomy - this was the 1950s and 1960s. Even in the early 1970s, the media was torn. We had Myra Breckenridge and the Christine Jorgensen story - but we also had "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls", "Dressed to Kill", and "Freebie & the Bean" where beatiful transsexuals were psychotic killers or assisins.

In high school I hung out with the gays and their women friends. I was hoping some of the girls were bi or lesbian. Of course, those who were had no interest in me. I enjoyed the protection of people thinking I was gay, but I also found it frustrating when guys would come on to me and try to seduce me as a guy, stroking my hairy arms or legs, loving my 5 oclock shadow, not realizing how much I hated these things about myself. A friend who had moved to a different school started inviting me on double dates with different girlfriends of his girlfriend. It was obvious that I liked girls, but it was also obvious that I didn't like anybody touching me "down there".

When I went to college, I picked a school with 900 women and 25 men, so I could "be one of the girls" without having to worry about being hassled by men for being a sissy. At the end of my first semester, my dance class have me two magazines - one with bondage and fetish themes, and the other with guys dresssed as girls. The transvestite magazine almost made me sick. These guys didn't shave their legs, didn't shave their arms, a few even had 5 oclock shadows, and they were flat chested. She-male magazines weren't available back then (1974) and I thought they were making fun of me. The problem was that I also worked on the stage crew and even though I had "paid my dues" by cleaning out a paint well filled with sawdust, urine, a few dead cats, and things even more disgusting - then came back with a smile and said "What's next?". However, the boys on the stage crew took great pleasure in harassing the crap out of me. They would ask me to perform feats of strength that were actually dangerous. I got hurt several times. I wanted to work in the costume shop where I could sew, the school wanted me on Stage Crew.

Sophomore year, I met a girl. She figured I'd be a fun "one night stand", but when I seduced her as a woman seduces a woman (something I'd learned watching adult movies and reading books and stories written by women about lesbian experiences), she decided I was a keeper. She was even more surprised when she tried to reciprocate and I winced in pain. She asked what was wrong and I told her I was a virgin. I became her lesbian lover for most of the rest of the year. She was very clear that I was more like a girl than anyone suspected. She kept my secret, because she didn't want any other girls stealing me away.

I didn't want to be transsexual, I wanted to be a GIRL! A beautiful, sexy, bitchy, emotional, giggly, happy, GIRL! I wanted to be a WOMAN! I wanted my balls to be gone, along with the little vienna sausage hiding between them. for 30 years I sang a little song to myself "I have an itsy bitsy teeny weeny shriveled up and wrinkled peenee - and I wish it would just go away".

I had no interest in hard drugs, and quit drinking and drugging in late 1977. However, if I had known where I could get estrogen and spirolactone (at that time I only knew them as "girl pills") i'd have done almost anything to get them. Probably a good thing I didn't since many of my closest friends had gotten AIDS and were among the first to die.

donnalee

08-23-2014, 03:25 AM

If I were to (I have to admit the thought has crossed my mind more than once), I'd wait until a genetic solution is found. Surgery is for emergencies and conditions where there is no other viable option; I don't fall into that category (yet) and am precluded by both age and medical condition from doing so. I'm retired and my accepting SO passed 3 years ago, so nothing in that area would be a barrier, but at this point, I think not.

5150 Girl

08-23-2014, 12:00 PM

I would transition fully if I had the money!

Wasia

08-23-2014, 05:07 PM

Sometimes I wonder.... and recently I came to a conclusion that I do not really care of what my gender is.
As long as I am comfortable - so be it.
Would I go through a full transition if some instant magic pill will become available? Definitely!
Would I do a modern-medicine transition? Most likely no. To much hassle and no guarantee for a 100% result.

wilt575

08-24-2014, 03:38 PM

SRS...no way! HRT, would love too! I have not problem mixing parts :o

I agree no problem mixing parts I tried HRT but only got big nipples and little breast growth, settled for implants, very pleased with results.

Madilyn A.

08-24-2014, 04:09 PM

I have no doubt I would have transitioned decades ago knowing what I know now. I would never transition at this stage of my life, but that Million Dollar Challenge to dress for a year would be right up my alley.

Cheryl Ann Owens

08-24-2014, 04:27 PM

I think in my case I would definitely say yes. If I were very much younger I would defilitly explore fully transitioning. But when I was 20 or so it was taboo and mostly unheard of. My problem is that I'm sitting on the proverbial fence, caught in between. I can take some half measures to feel somewhat good about myself like getting breast implants, but I also realize I'd be living in between genders. I think that today a full transition is out of the question. I would however like to be able to either fully accept that I am male or female and not have the doubts running through my head driving me crazy. So yes, I do wish I was fully wired to be transexual and just get everything over with and live a normal life not questioning.

Cheryl

autera24

09-01-2014, 02:04 AM

no i am a man but i love crossdressing

LisaTX

09-01-2014, 03:32 AM

I love all things femme, not only the clothes. I am a soft and sensitive man. i am envious and admiring of the female way as opposed to male. I love to observe how "fem" women look and act, and not just from a physical attraction to them.
Won't happen but if I could, I would live as a woman.

Lisa.

Leah Lynn

09-01-2014, 10:51 AM

Oh, dear girls that... "Would, But!!!!"... I'm 63 years old, fat, butt ugly, have a few health issues, and am reaching the end of my first year on hrt. I plan to do the paper change and begin rle in December or January. I've alienated half my family. As for friends, that would pretty much be the guys I work with, no real outside friends. I may not make it all the way to srs, but I've lived long enough pretending to be a man. It's my time to live now, and to hell with the rest of the world if they don't like it!

As the old song goes, "I gotta be me, I gotta be me! To stand there and try; To do it or die; I gotta be me!"

Leah

Judith96a

09-01-2014, 11:19 AM

Nope, I don't wish to be TS. I love cross dressing. I have been known to fantasise about having real boobs (and if someone invents some method whereby I could appear to have realistic boobs "on demand" at reasonable cost then I'd be at the front of the queue). But most of the time I'm perfectly happy to be a man.
Of course, I can only speak for lil ole me!

Dora

09-01-2014, 07:43 PM

I am taking everything all in phases right now, very soon planning on going to Denver, CO to do a male to female makeover, I haven't been on here for awhile, finances is what was holding me back last year but now my finances are alot more better, probably the point where I am at right now is as far as crossdressing is I go through up and down phases, it all depends on if I want to transition, am undecided on that, also I have noticed something different mentally going on since I have accepted and became aware of my female side, I am alot more self aware, also I am alot more aware of my surroundings and am able to read people alot better, also my interactions with people have improved alot, its even amazing how other people have noticed I changed to one of my friends told me I seem more self aware.

GinaD

09-01-2014, 11:47 PM

Since about age 10, I have I wanted to be a girl. Recently, after much discussion with my SO, I decided to get breast implants as the next step in being the woman I have always wanted to be. However, we have agreed that I won't go for full transition. So this is as far as I will go. I initially wanted to go for the full monte, but after researching all that is involved and the risks, we are both content with the overall body hair removal and my new breasts. I only wish I had started this while I was much younger.

sherri

09-02-2014, 10:12 AM

Do I wish to be a full transsexual? In an ideal world, yes (except for SRS). But in a less than ideal world do I have any intention of being fully TS? In a word, no.

Pïnk Lipton

09-10-2014, 07:38 AM

Not at this moment, no. I crossdress & am androgynous because I feel that my sex is an incomplete description of myself.
I don't necessarily feel as if I was born in the wrong body, more so than just being restricted by my assigned-at-birth sex.
The situation might change in the future, but at the moment I somewhat consider myself, more or less, a male.

LesliePinky

09-11-2014, 02:26 PM

Yessa verry but theres a catch i want to be a male too lol i still love women so my wish would
Be like i wish i have 2 bodies one is 3 inches shorter , got a history of hormones before 13, and a b cup and a butt to die for, and the other one is currently my body hehehe

athena23

09-11-2014, 02:59 PM

The other day when asked by wife I wanted to transition, I said I was not sure but didn't think so. That said, I have taken some bold steps lately. I played with a bit of herbal enhancement for a short while but without my wife's knowledge but I have fessed up now and we're mostly on the same page. I took enough to get the tingling and I think a bit of growth but most likely it just spurred on my existing moobs. I have been doing massage and am pretty pleased and I'm almost a 38 B now. My breasts seem prominent to me but that me because I'm pretty slim (lowest weight in 20+ years). I recently ordered my first bras online for use without forms (Barely There) and underdressed for most of yesterday and today. This is new for me. I have also been sleeping in soft things off and on with my wife's ok. I have a couple of dresses but have never been dressed outside of the house and a large collection of lingerie and stockings that wife has bought me from thrift shops or for valentines and birthday presents.

Up to this point I have been more of a fetish dresser and my sessions with or without my wife usually ended in an O. But in these cases while thrilling, no release happened and I was ok with it. As I have mentioned in other posts, I had lengthy post vasectomy pain syndrome and I only have one testicle now. When I was in constant pain, I thought heavily of getting rid of the other one, however a vasectomy reversal ended the pain I'm the one I still have. Had the remaining one been removed it may have made the decision to transition a little more clear. Mostly since I have been hanging here and listening and learning about other's situations, I think I'm more confused than ever. Not sure where my journey is going and that is causing a lot of anxiety. I try not to be bummed about it but it does weigh heavily on my mind.