Thinking of men

[Wanna be Heather]

Hi there

Although I am married to a sexy wife who support my cross dressing, I can not resist thinking of men, especially other CD or TV. I catch myself many times looking at men crouches unconsciously. What that make me. I still and always enjoy sex with my wife

[samantha rogers]

Why worry about what box it puts you in? Why not just enjoy what you enjoy? I believe labels and boxes are for someone else's benefit not mine...tee hee.

[Zylia]

Especially or only other cross-dressers?

[Tracii G]

Crouches?
Last time I checked you are supposed to love your wife and honor her.
As long as you aren't chasing after mens's "crouches" LOL just keep it to yourself.

[Zylia]

I thought this was a place for support, not a place where we judge each other based on our own moral values. Anyway, here is a recent thread with a similar subject and a couple of insights: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?211936-Cross-dressing-and-Accepting-Myself...-Hel-Please!

[Girl]

If you enjoy thinking about and looking at that part of a man, why not just enjoy it? Life's too short to worry about what box that puts you in. It is a very sexy part of men! :)

[mechamoose]

What you like is what you like. Don't be sorry for that.

You are actually talking about a couple of issues, attraction and fidelity. If you made promises to your wife, then keep them to the best of your ability.

Think of it this way, you love your wife, but I'm sure that you noticed other pretty women. Well, now you can notice other pretty men. Looking in the shop window isn't the same thing as going in the store and buying something.

- MM

[sometimes_miss]

Most of these type of discussions revolve around worrying about sexual preference. Please remember that there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to have sex with other men. NOTHING! So many of us are afraid to even consider the possibility that we make up fake female personalities so we can distance ourselves from the dreaded 'H' word, and refer to ourselves in third person female as if it's someone else. Accept who you are and try to enjoy what you want in life; it's not easy for most of us, but it's the only thing that will make you at peace with your life!

[Lorileah]

I looked it up, it makes you...let's see...human

[Lucy Lou]

MMMMMM, I looked at men's bits for years and still do. I have had many relationships with women and have come to the conclusion that i am gay but have only ever fumbled about not really ever been with a man properly. Maybe you should try it and see how you feel about it. That is not an order, just a possibility.

Best of luck. Lucy xx

[mechamoose]

MMMMMM, I looked at men's bits for years and still do.

If you are a guy, you *know* what feels good. Isn't it more about what is good/bad than it is about parts?

If you *like* them, why does it matter what bits they have?

"All acts of love and pleasure are Her rituals."

<3

- MM

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Heather, RE: What's that make me it sounds like you may be a Border-Line, BI-Crossdresser.

[Carly CD]

Like Samantha said, don't worry about labels just be yourself. If you are attracted to men, CD's then so be it, that's just part of who you are. I like women and men, I have dated both before I married my wife. I don't consider myself gay, straight, bi, I just consider myself as me. Like others have said, just because you look or fantasize doesn't mean you have to act on it, just enjoy.

[I Am Paula]

Another member here posted this on Facebook. I look forward to the day.

[Beverley Sims]

If you are true to your wife,what is wrong with a little private fantasy?

[Wanna be Heather]

Well, thanks for the support. The urges for men ( actually, CD or TV) reminds me of the urges to dress. Maybe I just try and see what happens.

Love you all

[scarlett wineshed]

i can't help but think of guys having their way with me. it was the whole reason i started crossing in the first place.

[GeminaRenee]

I guess it makes you a crossdresser who frequently thinks about other men, especially cd's or tv's, and likes to look at a little crotch from time to time, all the while still enjoying sex with your wife. Does that help?

Honey, labels don't mean a damn thing. They're for other people to use to sort out the things they come across in life - and half the time, they're not exactly right. Life becomes a lot easier when you stop worrying about what nook you're supposed to be assigned to fit into, and just go with what you know. Self-acceptance is a beautiful thing.

And just in case you're thinking it - there's nothing shameful about being attracted to guys. Some of us are, some of us aren't. Life's too short to feel guilty about the things that make you feel good though.

Have fun!

[Megan Thomas]

Some girls, though not myself, imagine themselves with men as it heightens the dressing experience. It adds an extra dimension to the feminine experience. As others have said, there's nothing wrong with desiring men but for many it really is just a fantasy that quickly evaporates once they have climaxed. I guess the key here is whether you find yourself thinking about/looking at men whether dressed or not.

[Jenniferathome]

i can't help but think of guys having their way with me. it was the whole reason i started crossing in the first place.

You started cross dressing BECAUSE you thought of,"...guys having their way with" you? So you were having these homosexual fantasies and you thought to yourself, "It'll be more normal if I am dressed as woman when I have these thoughts so I'll start cross dressing." Seems like a bit of extra work to go to in oder to justify something.

[ophelia]

Didn't Sheakespeare write a title about this? "Much ado about Nothing?".
I personally enjoy crossdressing as a way to get closer to women, because I am a heterosexual. It turns me on when I get a compliment from a beautiful GG. I know from attending several male to male weddings that I have no sexual interest in men, and that is OK. All this thread is saying is that the crossdressing community is no different than the entire community in it's array of preferences. The world is moving, albeit unevenly, towards acceptance of lifestyle choice.

[Cheryl T]

Crouches?
Last time I checked you are supposed to love your wife and honor her.
As long as you aren't chasing after mens's "crouches" LOL just keep it to yourself.



Are Crouches like Framily in that sprint commercial?? Just don't stare at their sofas....

[Stephanie Julianna]

I assume you meant "crotch." Not interested. I know what's behind the zipper and it ain't pretty.

[Erika_girliegirl]

There is nothing wrong with wanting what is behind that zipper. I have been able to find out and I would do it again! I am also with girls so just enjoy life. You only live once!

[JennyLynn]

Another cd for me! Or a tranny! Guess those are my fantasies.

[RayanneA]

There is nothing wrong with wanting what is behind that zipper. I have been able to find out and I would do it again! I am also with girls so just enjoy life. You only live once!I've also come to sometimes want what is behind the zipper. I don't really find men attractive like I do women, but there are certainly parts of men I can enjoy!

[Angie G]

If it feels right look all you want. I'm not going to tell you your right or wrong even if you act on it. All I'll say is if your thinking of acting think of your wife first of her feelings.:hugs:
Angie

[mechamoose]

The human form can be a beautiful thing. If you appreciate the appearance of someone, you do.

Sex isn't just about breeding. It is about giving & getting something reciprocal from someone you like. They didn't get to pick their gender, neither did you (at first).

People get so hung up about what the 'right' kind of bits to like. How about focusing on what kind of *people* you like?

<3

- MM

[Rachel_B]

I am only attracted to females and have little attraction to males. That being said, I do at times fantasize and dream about being with a guy. It may be lame but I would love to go on a date with a guy, all dressed up and be treated/viewed/respected/accepted as the girl I appear to be.

[mechamoose]

I would love to go on a date with a guy, all dressed up and be treated/viewed/respected/accepted as the girl I appear to be.

And there is nothing wrong with wanting that, dear. Everyone wants to be accepted for who they are. Because of our particular slice of the gender identity pie, we have a harder time than some folks.

- MM

[samantha rogers]

I guess part of me is still stuck between the 60's and a romance novel... Lol...to me it is never the particular physical form that attracts me to a person, nor what gender they present, but rather their smile, their laugh, their heart and most especially their eyes. Yeah...eyes. If all that is right, honey, at least for me...everything else is going to take care of itself...Sigh. Just call me a romantic, I guess...yeah, theres a label I can live with...tee hee.

[mechamoose]

Samantha... I'm right there with you!

Personality is sexy. Intelligence is sexy. Confidence is sexy. Health is sexy.

I *love* being fussed over.. (My wife sent me flowers at work on V-Day). I'm very much a romantic.:daydreaming:

- MM

[samantha rogers]

Somehow, I bet we are not alone, MM...tee hee...especially in this bunch. :heehee:
LOL

[Krisi]

My suggestion - Don't say anything to your wife about finding men sexually attractive. Or anyone else for that matter.

As for what that makes you, look up various definitions and decide for yourself. My opinion doesn't count.

[Lacyfem]

I'm married also and do think of being with men when I'm dressed so it's not so strange in my eyes. I've also been with a few fem when dressed and it's be a very lovely time so for some of we gurls it's kind on natural so don't fret about it.

[ReineD]

Although I am married to a sexy wife who support my cross dressing, I can not resist thinking of men, especially other CD or TV.

Hmm. As a GG, I can't help focusing on the fact that you have a wife. Or rather, the fact that you are in a committed relationship - it doesn't matter what gender is your partner.

What bothers me is the fact that you are sexually attracted to people who are not your partner. I've been there. I didn't act out on it for the longest time, but in a moment of weakness, I did. This changed my marriage (my ex never did find out), but I changed. Needless to say, the marriage is no longer.

Be careful.

But ... maybe guys think about sex differently than women do, and they can better compartmentalize it? Still, IMO you're playing with fire.

[mechamoose]

My suggestion - Don't say anything to your wife about finding men sexually attractive. Or anyone else for that matter.

Krisi, I have to disagree with you here. To borrow a phrase from our gay friends, "Silence = Death".

If you can't tell your partner, someone who is supposed to be your "Best Friend Evah", who can you tell? If you can't, what kind of life is that?

Just because you like men doesn't mean you no longer like HER. If you like chocolate ice cream, does that mean you no longer like vanilla?


As for what that makes you, look up various definitions and decide for yourself. My opinion doesn't count.

Your opinion DOES count.

The rest of what you say I agree with.

- MM

[pattyjones954]

well it makes you a crossdresser who frequently thinks about other men, especially cd's or tv's, and likes to look at a little crotch from time to time, all the while still enjoying sex with your wife.

[flatlander_48]

I'd say that it really doesn't make a lot of difference in the fantasy realm. If it moves you to action at some point in the future, then it may be necessary to think about where things actually sit for you and the implications going forward. Otherwise, enjoy!

[Jenniferathome]

..., I can not resist thinking of men, especially other CD or TV. ... What that make me. ...

Well, since you asked, it makes you bisexual. No straight man thinks about other men's "crotches" or any part of a man. Now, if you act on this, it makes you a bisexual adulterer. THAT's a problem.

[laura.lapinski]

I think of other sexy crossdressers, TV, and TG's even if I don't dress now. I think I am leaning more to being an admirer now, but I wouldn't mind still dressing too. As far as thinking of men, I don't really. I have, but it isn't on a regular basis. I am not attracted to them.

[Dana does shopping]

I have to believe that being honest with yourself is one of the strongest drives crossdressers share. When I resolved to live my two realities I started looking at everything differently. Perhaps if you frankly share your thoughts & desires with your SO you may very well learn you both have the exact thoughts in common with each other. You may be amazed to discover the SO has had exactly the same thoughts & desires! From that approach you may be on a voyage of discovery togather. Above all honesty with yourself & your SO's works.

[Wanna be Heather]

I have to believe that being honest with yourself is one of the strongest drives crossdressers share. When I resolved to live my two realities I started looking at everything differently. Perhaps if you frankly share your thoughts & desires with your SO you may very well learn you both have the exact thoughts in common with each other. You may be amazed to discover the SO has had exactly the same thoughts & desires! From that approach you may be on a voyage of discovery togather. Above all honesty with yourself & your SO's works.

Hi

I wish she has same thoughts, but I am afraid to destroy her support for my cross dressing. At the same time, I can hold my desire for a bi encounter. I guess that is part of me and who I am. I had experiences when I was a teen, and still remember them fondly

Kisses
Heather

[mechamoose]

You are hungry for what you are hungry for.

My wife not only knows I'm Bi, we have talked about it extensively. She accepts it and LIKES it. She knows I'm committed to HER and US. She still fantasizes about me getting railed by a bunch of guys.

Would she ever actually arrange that? probably not.. but fantasies are just that. The brain is the biggest sexual organ in the body. It should be free to play.

<3

- MM

[Wanna be Heather]

Thank you Hun for the support

[samantha rogers]

I tend to think relationships are fashioned according to the needs of the people in them. Not everyone rolls the same way. What is important to one couple might not be to another. I guess the key is that both partners agree to the same ground rules and both are happy with those rules. I tend to think it is a big world with room for everyone to find the right person for them, if only other people would stop placing restrictions on other people rather than themselves.

[PaulaQ]

There's really nothing wrong with being who you are Heather. A lot of people are very judgmental about bisexuals - even people who should know better and have no business casting stones... Sucks, but that's the way it is. There's nothing wrong with fantasizing though.

[bimini1]

You are hungry for what you are hungry for.

My wife not only knows I'm Bi, we have talked about it extensively. She accepts it and LIKES it. She knows I'm committed to HER and US. She still fantasizes about me getting railed by a bunch of guys.

Would she ever actually arrange that? probably not.. but fantasies are just that. The brain is the biggest sexual organ in the body. It should be free to play.

<3

- MM

My wife and I are similar. We both have some active fantasy life. She has fantasies about her being with other women, from time to time is turned on by male on male gay porn, as well as my femme self being taken by a man in front of her.

I certainly have fantasized about men getting it with my femme self but never as male. But the thing is we would never act on it, well never say never but I think we both figure the fantasy is probably better than the real thing. My conscience would not allow me to step outside of my vows, the guilt alone would eat me alive.

[StacyLynn]

I say who cares what it "makes you." I've never really cared for labeling everyone and everything. But I would say that if you are having these urges talk to your wife about it. If she supports your crossdressing, there may very well be a part of her that suspects you have such urges. Maybe you can find support there, perhaps shared fantasies or something of the like. Certainly don't do anything behind your wife's back, that will only end up hurting the both of you.

[mechamoose]

My wife and I are similar. We both have some active fantasy life. She has fantasies about her being with other women, from time to time is turned on by male on male gay porn, as well as my femme self being taken by a man in front of her.

Femme self... so presenting as female, but still owning male gear.

I do that. My BF comes over and likes me in pink.. panties, skirt, cute top, stockings... I love our time together but I'm still ME. I'm not a girl (but I wish I could be) and I totally get the idea of being the girl as a role. But at the heart of it I like the idea of a guy who *wants* me. There is nothing wrong with that.



My conscience would not allow me to step outside of my vows, the guilt alone would eat me alive.
That is healthy and normal. Fidelity to your partner matters. I only have access to feed that part of me because I have my wife's permission (with one specific person). If I didn't have that, I'd never cheat on her. I made promises, and I'd hate myself if I didn't keep them.

[Taylor Ray]

For me, expressing my bisexual urges in real life is important. I feel more integrated and more fully my "authentic self" when I leave the realm of fantasy and enter the realm of actuality. But I am single and have organized my life in a way that allows me to express different aspects of myself without hurting other people's feelings.

As others have stated, they are content with having fantasy remain fantasy. If the fantasy becomes overwhelming, perhaps your unconscious is trying to tell you something.