Wanting to go out

[Amilia Who]

Hi, I'm27 years old and I've been ccrossdressing for years and I've wanted to meet people who admire CD's or are CD's themselves. I want to know I'm not alone in my struggles. Now that I've become comfortable with who I am. I want to venture outside and have fun. I'm afraid because people are still ignorant and don't understand. Since I've become comfortable with who I am, I decided to take martial arts and self defense to protect myself. How did some of you first start going out, and what are some safe areas for CD's like myself? I live in Northern California if anyone has suggestions.

[sara.rafaela]

Hi, I guess it depends where you live. I have been out almost exclusively in the big cities in California. Generally no one seems to care or is taken by surprise. I had not dressed for years and took it up again. I started at first by getting dressed, then out for a drive and a quick walk down a lonely suburban street. This only lasted a couple of times, then I was bored. Then I moved onto a transgender bar in San Francisco. From the stares and such, a safe option, because dressing is the norm at a place like this. However, I got bored. I found many of the ladies there to be pros and the guys were tranny chasers. Next I moved onto gay clubs in San Francisco and Sacramento. I found the staff and other clubgoers to be very welcoming. At these clubs I found that they were nominally gay clubs, but really you could just call them gay themed because more than half the people there were straight. Once I gained more confidence in dressing I moved onto broad daylight. Shopping. Restaurants. Regular bars. I have had some odd situations, but nothing you can call scary or warranting of martial arts. Just recently I went to a goth club in San Francisco and had several nice conversations with interesting people. Please feel free to write me if you need more advice. Have fun.

[Amilia Who]

Thank you Sara I appreciate the information and advice. Looks like my next step is working up the nerve to step outside. I've never gone outside and a bit nervous to, but it's something I want to experience.

[Adriana Moretti]

Amilia...are you related to the famous crossdresser Jessica Who from Vh1 & you tube ?? if you are you should ask her to take you out when you see her at the next "Who" family reuinon

[spandexgirl188]

I can only speak for myself but i started at 11years old. Ive had time to learn about how women think, look, act, etc. Growing up with two sisters helps. At first i was so shy that i would only dress at halloween, now quite sometime later, im full time. I've grown my own hair, got it styled, got my nails done with my gf's, have gone shopping and even got my ID changed legally to reflect change. It all started out because i loved the way GG's looked. My advice would be go for it. It would be better if you tell someone or get to know another girl like yourself so that youre not alone when you go out your first time. the first time is always the hardest, after that it gets easier. hope it helps. Jade :)

[Amilia Who]

No I'm not related. Im a giant nerd and a huge Dr. Who fan

[Rachelakld]

I started by going to early morning coffee shops (McDonalds at 6.30am), then as I got comfortable, later and later in the morning, then to busy shopping malls. By then I realized most people don't care, unless they have drunk some bravery/fight juice, which is why I still don't go out to night clubs.

[Marcelle]

Hi Amilia,

My advice would be to seek out a local TG support group in your area if one is available. If not, stick to safe venues until you get your bearings such as malls, family restaurants, LGBT friendly bars and the like. Personally I am a day gal so I do most of interaction in the Vanilla World out among the public.

Hugs

Isha

[Nadine Spirit]

I live in Cali and travel all over, while dressed as a female. I go shopping, to restaurants, get my nails done, pump gas, to banks, to???? Anywhere I would normally go while dressed as a guy. In fact I have never been to a LGBT accepting location. I go where I want to go, to be able to live my normal life.

And I have never had any problems. In all of the years being out, say 7 or 8, I have only encountered a few rude people that had a couple of rude words to say and that was it. Nothing that would ever warrant having a need for any sort of self protection. But also, I suppose that some of it might have to do with where I am going. I generally don't go to bars, unless I am with my wife, but nor do I go there as a guy. I also don't walk dark streets at night, alone, nor do I do that as a guy. I don't go to the seedy part of town, looking to hookup, nor do I do that as a guy.

I suppose my lack of problems could have to do with my presentation, or my behavior, but maybe it could also have to do with the thought that people are not as negative as I once thought they would be.

You can message me for any other info if you would like. Good luck.

[Tracii G]

Martial arts is very good for the mind too so I say go for it.
Remember one thing never retaliate in anger and only use it to defend yourself or someone else in need.
I go anywhere I would normally go but always have a plan.

[Beverley Sims]

I was lucky, I had the support of friends.
It is a false sense of security but well lit places at night are quite good, as is daytime in the mall.

[KittyD]

Hi :) Yeah 4real martial arts is the business - I'm an Xmartial artist 30+ years great for fitness/health & like Tracii G said great for the mind too...
Go4iT :D

[Jorja]

Hi Amilia,
It starts with simply stepping out your door. Go to a park at a time when very few people are around. Take a trip through a fast food drive up window. Start small and build up your confidence. Go pump gas. Locate a gay bar/club and stop by for a drink. Soon you will be going to the mall and other normal ordinary everyday places without even thinking about it.

[dana digs sweaters]

A local TG support group is best.
All the members started out the door somehow, someway.
You will meet good peeps there.