Suzanne F
04-15-2014, 11:38 AM
Sorry it took me a few days to be able to stop and collect my thoughts. I have had the most emotional few days I can remember. I posted about flying home to see my daughters. I received so many kind wishes so I wanted to let veery one know how the trip is going.
First the flying pretty was successful. No issues at all checking bags or going through TSA! Everyone was polite and professional. I chatted with a girl ahead if me in line and before I knew it I was on the plane. When I landed I was a little nervous walking in the Louisville airport. A lady came up behind me and told me how much she liked my hair. It was perfect timing and I had a surge of confidence. My GG friend was waiting for me.
We then went and met my girls. I had planned on changing before they saw me but really had no time. They arrived right after we did. They knew I had something to tell them so had been a little anxious. They walked in and said wow! They were surprised but instantly reassuring. They asked several questions and were very warm and loving. They both said how sorry they were that I had felt forced to hide so long. I explained that I was transgendered and would not be taking any further steps for at least a year. I told them that their stepmother and I were struggling but working through this issue.
I can't tell you how proud I was of them. They were very happy that I was happy. After about 30 minutes they were finished with questions. They then went up and helped me unpack and picked out an outfit for me to wear to dinner. I had given them the option of being out with me en femme in public. They both said of course. We went to dinner and Walgreens in Louisville, Ky! It was wonderful! Both girls then asked if I would tell their mother, my first wife instead of them having to do it. I said ok I will tell her tonight if you like.
My ex wife came over after dinner. She came in an said well this is what you needed to tell the girls? Yes I said and please sit down. My daughter went out to the car and we talked alone. She was surprised at first but then said it made sense. She said I always thought you were effeminate even when we first started dating. I explained about how much I dressed and that I didn't know where it might end but no more changes for at least a year. She said as long as I supported the girls she had no problem with me. She asked if she could hug me and then left. I had faced one of my biggest fears! The ex wife who I had hidden this from all those years.
I know this seems beyond real but it just got better. Sunday I went shopping with my girls and my GG friend. What fun! Then we met my long time AA sponsor for dinner. He has known since this started but never actually saw me. He has been so loving and supporting. What a great night!
Yesterday my youngest daughter and I drove a few hours to my parents house. My mother knows that I dress but not really how far it has come. I did not go en femme. When we got there we set down with her and told her that I had let my daughters know and that it was more than just playing dress up. My daughter helped with the conversation. My mother was concerned but accepting. So later that day the three if us went shipping. My mother helped me pick out a new skirt and shoes. She saw me in a skirt for the first time when we went home. We later talked for hours late into the night.
As you can see it has been a monumental trip home. I cannot express what this has all meant to me. Please don't think there aren't big challenges in all this with many people. My mother and sister have asked me not to tell my step father. I of course agreed! I don't know how this will be a year from now but I know I will be truthful. My daughter texted me late after that first night and told me how proud she was of my strength and how much she had gained from me telling her about myself. It was the most beautiful thing she has ever said to me! Love all you girls here and thank you for being with me on this journey!
Hugs
Suzanne
First the flying pretty was successful. No issues at all checking bags or going through TSA! Everyone was polite and professional. I chatted with a girl ahead if me in line and before I knew it I was on the plane. When I landed I was a little nervous walking in the Louisville airport. A lady came up behind me and told me how much she liked my hair. It was perfect timing and I had a surge of confidence. My GG friend was waiting for me.
We then went and met my girls. I had planned on changing before they saw me but really had no time. They arrived right after we did. They knew I had something to tell them so had been a little anxious. They walked in and said wow! They were surprised but instantly reassuring. They asked several questions and were very warm and loving. They both said how sorry they were that I had felt forced to hide so long. I explained that I was transgendered and would not be taking any further steps for at least a year. I told them that their stepmother and I were struggling but working through this issue.
I can't tell you how proud I was of them. They were very happy that I was happy. After about 30 minutes they were finished with questions. They then went up and helped me unpack and picked out an outfit for me to wear to dinner. I had given them the option of being out with me en femme in public. They both said of course. We went to dinner and Walgreens in Louisville, Ky! It was wonderful! Both girls then asked if I would tell their mother, my first wife instead of them having to do it. I said ok I will tell her tonight if you like.
My ex wife came over after dinner. She came in an said well this is what you needed to tell the girls? Yes I said and please sit down. My daughter went out to the car and we talked alone. She was surprised at first but then said it made sense. She said I always thought you were effeminate even when we first started dating. I explained about how much I dressed and that I didn't know where it might end but no more changes for at least a year. She said as long as I supported the girls she had no problem with me. She asked if she could hug me and then left. I had faced one of my biggest fears! The ex wife who I had hidden this from all those years.
I know this seems beyond real but it just got better. Sunday I went shopping with my girls and my GG friend. What fun! Then we met my long time AA sponsor for dinner. He has known since this started but never actually saw me. He has been so loving and supporting. What a great night!
Yesterday my youngest daughter and I drove a few hours to my parents house. My mother knows that I dress but not really how far it has come. I did not go en femme. When we got there we set down with her and told her that I had let my daughters know and that it was more than just playing dress up. My daughter helped with the conversation. My mother was concerned but accepting. So later that day the three if us went shipping. My mother helped me pick out a new skirt and shoes. She saw me in a skirt for the first time when we went home. We later talked for hours late into the night.
As you can see it has been a monumental trip home. I cannot express what this has all meant to me. Please don't think there aren't big challenges in all this with many people. My mother and sister have asked me not to tell my step father. I of course agreed! I don't know how this will be a year from now but I know I will be truthful. My daughter texted me late after that first night and told me how proud she was of my strength and how much she had gained from me telling her about myself. It was the most beautiful thing she has ever said to me! Love all you girls here and thank you for being with me on this journey!
Hugs
Suzanne