Pink Fog

[fem1989]

I've been a lurker here randomly over the years but never felt like posting, probably because I wasn't ready to admit to myself that I am a crossdresser.
Well long story short I finally have come to accept this part of me and let my girlfriend of 4 years in on my little secret.
She is handling everything really well and I think that is mostly because we are deeply in love and truly care for each other.
She has shown me a lot of support already buying me some cute undies and picking out a dress with me online but she needs to take small steps before she'll be ready for me to put it all together and dress up completely.
I am on board with that because I respect her and our relationship is extremely important to me.
My problem now is that now I think experiencing what people on here call the "pink fog". I think that because I have finally allowed myself to explore these thoughts, they are only ones I have in my head. I can't stop looking online at clothes and talking to my girlfriend about it as much as she'll tolerate I just feel like I need to dress up but I also feel like I need to give my girlfriend some more time.
Since there is so much mention of the pink fog on here someone has gotta have some ideas about how I can get it to calm down!

[sara lahna]

an easy way to deal with the want to get dressed part is, after a shower put on a dress for a few mins then put on your everyday clothing, find little times when you know i'll be ok to dress for a few mins here and there.

[Tami Monroe]

One other idea might be to "underdress" and wear a pair of panties or pantyhose under your regular drab attire. It will be your little secret and likely help clear the fog some.

[Chari]

Pink fog effects all of us to some degree, but the individual has to decide what is best for relief. Consider as others have stated here to wear something feminine, either underdressing or being a bit bolder, perhaps an androgynous item such as feminine jeans, sweater, plain blouse, or jewelry like earrings/studs, bracelet, or a simple necklace. It all depends on your comfort/confidence zone. Enjoy.

[~leanne~]

My experience of the pink fog is that it persuades me I look more fem than I actually do and end up walking in public areas, I even visited a gas station for some food, I knew I was noticible more because of my height than anything else, the cashier so obviously tried not to make eye contact lol it was fun though and a first interaction

[Tami Monroe]

I think I would be more prone to be brave enough to do this in an area where I know for a fact no one would recognize me. Unfortunately, I have too many friends - and enemies who would likely recognize me locally.

[Adriana Moretti]

try to avoid SHOPPING in a pink fog LOL ....only you can calm it down ...find the balance between the two , easier said than done though.

[MsVal]

Hello Fem,

I recently drew lines between the dots and discovered it spelled crossdresser. I've had a name and definition for my thoughts for the better part of a year.

At this point the fog is beginning to clear. I can now tell when my mind is overly preoccupied with thoughts of crossdressing. With luck, I will soon be able to stop that preoccupation and concentrate on things that matter to people other than myself.

One data point does not make a trend.

Best wishes
MsVal

[JazT95]

The amount of money I've spent from shopping in a pink fog is horrendous. I never regret in the end tho.

[Tina G]

Ahh the Pink Fog... been in that for quite some time.

[Tami Monroe]

I literally spent over $85 two weeks ago buying lingerie in a pink fog.

[KaceyR]

The 15th of the month is what I consider my 'pink fog' day... I get paid 2x/mo and have the most available 'free cash' to use then :) ( and yes got a couple more dresses and jewelry yesterday too..:) need more skirts and tops tho...:)
Otherwise it calms in between time somewhat... (Got rent and other big bills for the first part of the month)

Hmm.. .may not have a 'biological' time of month,but sure do have financial....

[sanderlay]

I can relate. Just remember everything else that is important in your life. Try to find the balance. Just because a door has been opened for you does not mean you must rush in. Take your time. Drink it in. Stay on a budget. But also remember that this is but one door, one part of your life. Remember all the other things you do that make up your life and your relationship with your girlfriend.

If you are ready to do some secret under dressing that can certainly help. For me it was a symbolic gesture to acknowledge a part of myself. Take your time and enjoy this journey.

[Tinkerbell-GG]

Honestly, the 'pink fog' sounds like a dainty name for OCD. It's really not cool to be consumed by something at the detriment of everything else - there is medication and therapy for this.

I hope you didn't tell you girlfriend about it? I doubt she'll think crossdressing is acceptable if you're consumed by it.

[Kate T]

Not quite Tink but I get what you are saying.
The "pink fog" is probably better compared to childhood obsessions than to true OCD. Currently my 7 year old daughter is in the "Frozen fog". EVERYTHING is about the movie Frozen (disney movie). It's fine, she'll move on eventually (though I suspect not for a number of months :)). The difference between her and an adult is that she is a child and does not have other responsibilities or people to be concerned about. Adults do. THAT is where the "pink fog" becomes a problem when it causes the pink fogee to make decisions or take actions which adversely affect people they care about.
As to the OP. Get back to doing your normal day to day things. Focus on your responsibilities, to yourself, your job and your relationship. You will find things come back in to focus.

[Beverley Sims]

With your girlfriend, take it slowly,I think you already have the idea.
Don't smother her, look at all the pictures you want, never purge your stuff as this is going to stay with you.
The pink fog does dissipate and you should look forward to a happy and fruitful time together.

[ReineD]

Give it time. You'll scale back when the newness wears off.

In the meantime be aware that if you overload your girlfriend, she'll feel as if you care more about the CDing than anything else in life, even her. And she may even begin to think that you're on your way to transition. This is what I thought when my SO was in your shoes some years ago. It seemed as if he lived and breathed for all aspects of the CDing and he no longer got any pleasure or satisfaction from his male life. I thought that he wanted to get rid of his male self.

[Tinkerbell-GG]

Ha, Adina, you knew just how to explain this! I have one of those little obsessor types. He's been like this since birth and I do know each obsession will pass. I guess this means the 'pink fog' passes too then?

I still wouldn't tell the girlfriend, especially given it's temporary - I would have freaked out knowing my H was thinking of CD all the time. I also think this sort of obsessive thinking can be overrode by forcing life in the way - my H and I do this when our kids won't come up for air from Xbox or something - we demand they do another distracting activity. I'm not sure how easy it is to force away CD thoughts but I'd think this is a necessary skill if you're to function in everyday life?

[Rangerphyllis]

The "fog" usually hits me around the time around the full moon...and like everyone else, my desires to shop on-line grow significantly. I usually take the dog for walks undressed with my forms in to experience that feminine aura. It usually takes a week for it to subside. Good luck with your experiences with the fog! It is fun!

Phyllis

[Marcelle]

Hi there,

I would not say you are completely lost in the fog just slightly overwhelmed by the euphoria of actually being out to your GF and being given the opportunity to explore this side of you. We have all been there and will most likely revisit that spot at several times throughout the year. Just breath and work through it. However, you do need to demonstrate to your GF that boy you is still there. When I first came out to my wife and she was supportive, she did get a bit concerned early on that "boy me" was disappearing as I got so immersed in all things CDing. So, I always keep that in the back of mind and continue to do the things I normally do "en boy" as a dude so as to bring normality to my life. Isha is balanced in our lives and when she is out she does what Isha normally does but "boy me" still does his boy things. If you can keep harmony between the two (find your girl place but keep your boy place) you will find it becomes easier to negotiate the fog.

Hugs

Isha

[fem1989]

Thanks for everyone's help! I am feeling much better and have been more focused at work the last couple days.
I probably should have followed everyone's advice to not talk to my girlfriend about the fog but I already had when I made the post and we share everything even feelings that might make the other uneasy.
Underdressing has certainly helped though!
Isha - I think the way you described what i might be feeling was spot on I am just going through some pretty intense excitement about all the possibilities the future holds for my crossdressing and for my relationship.
It also helped me calm down to know that there others that I can relate to in my feelings so thanks again everybody!

[Melissa in SE Tn]

Fem, your symptoms & reactions to the pink fog are identical to my experience & that of many on this forum. There simply is no shot , pill or hypnosis available to help dissipate the fog. You will have it for a long time. Cding can take control of your brain , soul & wallet. Very candidly , my only pressure release is prayer. You're hooked... Peace, mel

[devida]

It really is OK to experience this, tho might be a a little tiring for the people around you. It does not have to last that long, and won't as you come to terms with who you are. It is just the obsessive nature of the mind. It goes away. Love yourself, accept yourself and know this too shall pass.

[fem1989]

Ya I agree that it is okay and its definitely not going anywhere. My girlfriend knows that the only things I wanna talk about right now is clothes and makeup and things and she is doing an impressive job of putting up with it.
I do think it is a problem though when I am not focused at work because I can't get these things out of my head.
Talking it through with her and knowing I'm not along from reading and communicating on this forum seems to be helping me find the right times to just engross my self in feminine things so when I'm at work I can just get what I need to done. I am an accountant and even a little distraction can lead to mistakes which always seem to become bigger problems down the road.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Fem, The ball is in her court now don't overwhelm her with this.

[ReineD]

My girlfriend knows that the only things I wanna talk about right now is clothes and makeup and things
I am not focused at work because I can't get these things out of my head.

Be careful.

[Stacy Cruz]

I know I have pink fog when conversations about shoes and fashion get my attention. Find balance and enjoy.