Opinions, please.

[Amanda M]

This is one for our GG folks, and everyone else. There is a so- called "support" site for the wives/SOs of crossdressers at crossdresserswives.com, and I wonder if any of you have had any experience of it.

I'd really like to know what you think, especially, GGs, from you. Is it helpful? does it strike a chord with you?

Thanks in advance,
Amanda.

[Greenie]

Its against the rules to mention the other website by name. I would edit it out. But that specific one. Is horrible. They breed hatred and misunderstanding. Promote divorce and slander the accepting ggs. Its really bad .

[AllieSF]

Amanda, just do a search on that web site name here in old threads. it has been discussed several times and the overwhelming opinion is that it is negative to and about us.

[Shelly Preston]

I have never heard any good reports about this site Amanda.

The link below is only one of the threads which has discussed this in the past.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?207196-Alarming

As has been said you can search for more links.

[Zylia]

There should be a website called husbandsofcrossdresserswives.com with only one advice: File a divorce.

[Marcelle]

Agree with all Amanda . . . very bad site as it promotes nothing but hate and intolerance.

Hugs

Isha

[Beverley Sims]

It appears to have a lot of assertive feminists airing their views.

It made me feel a little uncomfortable being there.

I felt I wanted to stay there and let fly with a lot of cheap comments.

Why denigrate myself was the final thought.

[JessMe]

My girlfriend visited that site when she was still "iffy" about my dressing and was looking for other's experiences as the SO of a crossdresser. What she read there actually just made her angry, luckily. It's not a good site for someone who is unsure about their partner's dressing to stumble across because it's all hateful and ignorant.

[ReineD]

I don't like the site either. It seems to promote a culture of victimization.

I posted there a few times in years past in defense of the CDers who are like most of the members here, and I was accused of being a CDer. :p

[samantha rogers]

Wow...I just looked at the site in question...such a lot of hatred and vitriol. I do not see much in the way of compassionate love on that site, at least in the quick visit I made.

[CynthiaD]

I visited that site once and will never go back. Nothing but hatefulness there. I really don't understand this sort of thing. Expressing your hate for something or someone doesn't make you happy, it makes you miserable. And it does nothing to harm the one you hate. The only person it hurts is yourself.

[giuseppina]

Let's hope most of the genetic ladies who visit that site can think critically and see past the groupthink.

[Katey888]

There is an old saying that begins "Birds of a feather..."

I expect they feel supported because they found a whole bunch of folk that share their feelings... Now, let me make it clear that I'm not defending what their position is vis-Ã*-vis us lot (that would be silly!) but, I am surprised by how much emotion it seems to stir up amongst folk here...

I might just be being a bit 'hello clouds, hello sky..' over this, but don't they have a right to free speech, to find support to validate their feelings, to rant and vent the way we do...? :)

Just asking...? :hiding:

Katey x

[Zylia]

Maybe it's just me, but your post here feels quite inconsistent with the things you said in the thread about equality, Katey. Are you sure you're not just trying to be contrary for the sake of being contrary? :D

Anyway, people can express their opinions and be wrong at the same time. There is no single right way to deal with cross-dressing or a cross-dressing husbands, but there are certainly a few wrong ways.

[sanderlay]

Now I only glanced at the outside, read a few pages. But what I did not see is anything about a CD gender identity in the FAQ. You would think the FAQ might have mentioned this since this is the major issue. Perhaps it is else where on the site and I did not see it. However it seems focused on the wife as a victim and the CD is cast in a very negative light. (from the founders story)

In my opinion... this kind one one sided telling of events is certainly not balanced or fair to the facts of a married couple. There are always two sides to a story when it evolves two persons.

[HalleysComet]

I found that site a few weeks ago when I was first looking for information online to educate myself after my boyfriend came out to me. I'm so glad I decided to join this one instead. I did browse around and this one just generally seemed to have better information and more accepting people!

[Paula_Femme]

Wow, I'd never heard of the site, and just visited for a look-see. There's a LOT of pain and confusion over there, as you'd expect from Women who found out about their partners CD-ing years or even decades into their relationships, but a LOT of pure hatred and spite, especially directed against "Jon," the, apparently, sole CD trying to offer support and commentry from the other side of the fence.

It's kind-of the anti-CD version of right-wing talk radio, where everyone has their worst thoughts and prejudices amplified and reflected back at them in an endless CD hate-fest... very sad. :sad:

[giuseppina]

...I might just be being a bit 'hello clouds, hello sky..' over this, but don't they have a right to free speech, to find support to validate their feelings, to rant and vent the way we do...? :)

Just asking...? :hiding:

Katey x

They do have the right to talk amongst themselves, however, they do not have the right to indoctrinate newcomers. I'm not a lawyer, but it seems to me that comes very close to being a criminal offense in Canada punishable by jail time. It isn't (thankfully) a common offense, but there have been a few successful prosecutions.

[Paula_Femme]

They do have the right to talk amongst themselves, however, they do not have the right to indoctrinate newcomers.

I'm not sure that what's on the site would amount to "indoctrination" in a legal sense, but there are going to be Wives/Girlfriends who are struggling, who are trying to understand and are looking for support and advice, who will find that site, and will then find themselves flailing around neck deep in poison and vitriol.

Hopefully they'd be turned off by the rampant negativity and look for other sources of information, but if not I can't imagine their relationships would stand much of a chance. :sad:

[Charla McBee]

I think they have a point as far as honesty on our parts. My wife and I don't have any secrets from each other and I think that's a key to a good marriage.

Beyond that though, reading the founder's story made me sick to my stomach and certainly not in the way she intended. She's living proof that getting a degree does not make one an educated person and I am horrified that she seems to have written a book. The research she quotes is largely cherry-picked to make us look like crazed perverts. It really does feel like a hate group to me. I question if she ever really had any love for her husband for something as simple as a pair of stockings to be a total deal-breaker. There's absolutely no consideration for the crossdresser's side, the lifetime of hidden pain and inner struggles that we all endure. I get that after ten years of marriage, finding out about his crossdressing was no doubt a big shock but to compare the whole experience to date rape? Seriously? This all happened decades ago from the sound of it and she's still on a crusade against us all.

A bit dramatic, I know, but just knowing that this site exists now is really going to bother me.

[Tamara Croft]

Thread closed, slandering other forums is against forum rules.