meeting another cd as friends

[JennyLynn]

Has anyone had any experience meeting another cd as a friend from this site? I'm reminded of fthat Alan Alda movie where once a year he would rendezvous with a friend/lover and keep his personal life seperate. Forget the name of the movie. Just curious if it's possible to have a cd relationship that is remote and regular/rare/planned. What might be the pitfalls of wanting to go this route?
Looked for an applicable thread to post this in, and only found classifieds. Not advertising, just looking for advice.

Jen

[JenniferYager]

I drove out to Atlanta and hung out with Eva Lynn for the day. It was awesome...we went to lunch and then shopping. I ended up with a wig, shoes and a new bra from Lane Bryant.

I'm hoping to meet up with others, although my new home (Hawaii) isn't looking promising. But if there is someone in the area, I totally recommend meeting up. Be safe and meet somewhere public first though!

[Princess Grandpa]

There are several ladies from this site in our new social circle. Some of the most amazing folks I have ever met. *hug* you all know who you are. A big TY!

Hug
Rita

[Nadine Spirit]

Hi JennyLynn. My wife and I met with Jenniferathome for dinner while she was in a semi local city. We met up because she emailed and asked if I wanted to. I had never met another cd before, but I figure, what the heck, sounds like fun. And it was! We had a great time and it was very enjoyable being able to hangout with someone else that shares this interesting quirk. We live fairly far away, as in not really driveable close, but we are trying to coordinate a second meetup with both of our wives. Should be fun. It really opened my eyes to potential meetups in the future with others. :)

[Adriana Moretti]

yes a WHOLE bunch of gals from here all met last week for the first time and had a blast! We hung most of the weekend. Dinner, dancing, shopping..a few crazy escapades ...but so much fun.It was great to REALLY get to know some of the gals from here...real life is a WHOLE lot different than a forum...and alot more fun..... This is the second time you questioned meeting people from here ( I remember)...your coming out next time then.....

[Jenniferathome]

"Same time next year" was the name of the movie.

I have met with a few from this site. Nadine mentioned our meeting already. Like anything, you need to meet people to figure out if you have something in common. If you do, then you can hang with them more. You never know until you reach out.

[Eryn]

I've met a number of people FTF from this site. Like anyone else, having common interests (outside of CDing) is what makes friendships blossom. Of course it is really nice to be with someone who has a deeper understanding of ourselves, but the fun thing is to be able to go out and do things together.

[Candice Mae]

I just don't trust anyone on the internet, and with some peoples obsession with young trans-women I feel vulnerable enough just being out in public.

[Launa]

I've met girls at local Tri-ess groups then I have seen them on here afterwards posting on things. I find that of all the CDers I've ever met that theres only 20 - 30% of them that I would have a lot in common other than dressing in womens clothes.
If you're talking about a intimate relationship like what went on in the movie Broke Back Mountain then no I would have no desire to have CD friends in that sense.

[TxCassie]

That's right, "Same Time Next Year" Alan Alda, Ellen Burstyn starred. A Neil Simon production I believe. He showed up every year till the year his daughter showed up and informed Ms. Burstyn's character that her paramour passed during the previous year. All though 1950s, 1960s, 1970s, ending either in the late 70s or early 80s, but the changes in their characters reflected the changing America during those years. I believe her character became more liberated and his character retreated to a more scarred (death of son in Vietnam, changing mores) till she was the one left to put the past 25-30 yrs into perspective. It's a very touching story.

[Tracii G]

I have met 6 from this site and all have been very nice to hang out with.
If you get the chance do it!!

[Erica Marie]

I had met one friend from this site. We both traveled and met in the middle. We had a great time. Its nice to have the support and understanding that only another cd friend can offer. Cant wait to find the time and opportunity to meet again.

[GeminaRenee]

I've met a couple cd's from this site to go shopping and chit chat with. I haven't had any bad experiences, and no-one tried to stick a roofie in my drink or follow me back to my place. I would certainly do it again, provided I got the right vibe from the person I was meeting.

I'm sure it's quite possible to have a "rare/regular/planned" thing with someone. I would say, though, that it's very important that you communicate exactly what is on the table in terms of meeting someone. Your OP was not clear as to whether you were looking for a friends-only friend, or a friends-with-benefits kind of friend. I would suggest you decide on those parameters before making arrangements to meet someone, and then make sure that they are on the same page with you before you actually meet them. Another thing is that you need to use common sense when meeting someone from here. If you get the vibe that they might not be on the same page as you, or that they have some strange ideas that you do not share, or whatever - I would strongly suggest opting out. That's been my modus operandi so far in these kinds of things (I've met many other people from the 'net that weren't cd's), and it's served me well. The times I've ignored my intuition, I realized when I met them that there was a reason for that, and I extracted myself from those situations right quick. But for the most part, I've followed my gut and been rewarded with good experiences.

As long as you exercise a little common sense and communication, you should be fine. There's no reason to be paranoid about everyone on the 'net. After all, you're on the 'net, and you're not a psychopath, right? It stands to reason that the majority of people out there are in the same boat as you. You just have to pick the right ones.

Good luck, and have fun!

[GenieGirl]

Hi Jenny,

I had the great pleasure of reaching out to Katie from this site very recently since we were in the same state. I have also met another girl from this site but only as guys...watched a basketball game together, really nice guy but not out as a woman yet so hard to do a lot of hanging out which is fine and completely understand. *Bad news...I think I'm betting a stye!!! from sleeping in my makeup from a few nights back...see my post on my little red dress....* Anyways, it has been awesome getting to know Katie these past few weeks and we have so much in common and seem to mesh so naturally well together. We went out 2 Thursdays ago for the last time :( but we had and amazing time. She will be working out of state indefinitely but will be down on occasion to visit her family, so I hope that we do have the opportunity to hang out again in the future. It just goes to show that you can really find friends on this site, just not virtually but in real life too! Wish you the best Jenny and good luck!!!

Ginger

[Lorileah]

Just curious if it's possible to have a cd relationship that is remote and regular/rare/planned.
This confuses me as earlier in the post
Has anyone had any experience meeting another cd as a friend from this site? Assuming you are saying it is all innocent...I know people who do meet on occasion to just dress up. I also know people who say it will be innocent then hope for more. My concern on this is that the time you are apart can become a time for you to either start forming ideas or to think about he get together so much you stop paying attention to your SO.

I have many friends who are TG in some manner. But we don't plan on meeting on rare occasions, we meet when we are both out and about

[AllieSF]

My first trip out was with two members from this site. I have probably met close to 20 from this site and another one. All have been good. Some lasted for more times out together and some not. It is no different than meeting someone who has the same strong interest in the same thing that you do, golf, hobbies, plays, whatever. It is well worth it. If someone wants more, just tell them you are not into the "more" part and leave it at that. Try it and have some fun. It is so much better than flying solo while out on the town, unless you are a seasoned veteran.

[CassieD]

I've met a number of people that were somewhere on the LGBT spectrum but no one from here as yet.
Some were great, some were bottom holes. Same as any group of people really.
I don't see a problem with remote and rare. I have hobbiest friends who I see occasionally, but it is nice to meet once in a while.

[JennyLynn]

I guess that it's my fault for wanting what I'm not willing to work for. I stay onsite and then get scared and slip into the abyss. My bad. It's just sometimes hard to take that "leap of faith" and actually do the work to connect and make a plan to meet. I need to work on me, and follow through. I just worry a lot about how to go about knowing I'm not meeting a fruitcake!
Thank you all so much for your advice. Guess I need to ponder a bit.

[Annaliese]

I had 4 from here, 2 local and 2 from about 250 miles away still friend with three of them. The forth I put my foot in my mouth and l lost her as a friend.

[JennyLynn]

Foot in mouth.... been there, done that!

[Bridget68]

I have yet to meet anyone, but am open to the idea of it.

[JennyLynn]

I do want to thank the moderators for not slapping me down. I'm somewhat stupid sometimes when I post. Guess I did ok this time, or they're just tolerating me! Thank you!

[Genny B]

It was threw this site that I have become close to another member and we getting ready to meet the beginning of May! They have been so helpful already! Can't wait to meet!
Genny B

[Alice B]

I have met several from this site at SRO in San Diego, have had them come and visit and stay with me and have gone to DLV and shared rooms with them.

[bonni]

No I'm new here. I just want someone to talk too face to face and have fun

[Catfishthepirate]

I would love to meet another CD as a friend. Heck I would like to just go out with a friend of mine while I am in fem.

[Michelle Crossfire]

i have only met Marsha Clark several times. That is the only one from this site that i know of. Would like to meet more, just not sure how to go about doing that.

[Michelle (Oz)]

Jenny

I've met up with several CD members of our Australian TG group. We had exchanged regular emails so knew quite a bit about each other. I really enjoyed the time we had and hope to have more opportunities but, just as in life in general, you need more than just a common 'interest' to develop any friendship ('relationship' means something different to me). Friendships require a degree of honesty and transparency to 'know' the other person. That may pose a threat to some CDers.

You won't know until you try.

Michelle

[stacey diane]

I have found that in meeting the real person the rewards are amazing!

[Chardonnay Merlot]

I finally met Adriana in what was a great weekend of a lot of new stuff (including meeting another CD cyclist...two girls, two bikes it was Tour de Femme!)

[Kate Simmons]

I'm friends with several folks in both modes and have gotten together with same. That is mostly about friendship though.:)

[pinklilly211]

I had the good fortune to meet a member of this site once. It was great to talk and swap stories. Unfourtunatly we were only able to meet once when I was in her local. I was there for a Dr. appt. and distance from each other made it impossible to meet again. Oh Well sigh,,,,,

[Sissy_Michelle]

my new home (Hawaii) isn't looking promising!

Jennifer, my last duty station was in Hawaii. Be very careful in Hawaii. You do not look Hawaiian and though the "Native Hawaiian" may turn a blind eye towards someone from there. They will not be kind to someone from the main land (haole), and you could get hurt.

Please, please, please be careful.

@---}----

[Krisi]

To me it would seem strange to "know" someone as a female from this forum but then meet them as a male. And as someone else pointed out, you can't always trust someone you meet on the Internet.

If I knew someone as a male and then found out he was also a crossdresser it would be easier.

[JerseyGirlDonna]

Hi JennyLynn,
When I know I'll have a chance to get out, I always call a girl friend I met on this site to go to lunch. It's wonderful being able to laugh and talk with someone who understands....
Donna

[mechamoose]

I'd love to meet other members. I'm just self conscious about my appearance. (Odd for this crowd, right?) because I don't present as girl at all. I'm a dude in pretty clothes. I'm female inside, and I do all the 'normal' girl stuff.. in a big furry body.

I'm not sure what to do :/

<3

- MM

[Beverley Sims]

I have met other CD's through friends of friends, it has usually been a cordial meeting but no lasting friendships.
I met someone at a party once and the camaraderie was great whilst the party lasted then we went our respective ways.

I think it would be good meeting some from here as there is a common bond throughout and Starbucks coffee 'aint that bad. :)

[JennyLynn]

I seem to find some nice people here, think about maybe trying to make a friendship and then getting scared off by the "Be careful of who you meet on the internet crowd". Ok..... I get it! I would never rush anything and would always take things safe. References, getting to know each other and just common sense will prevail. I'm a normal person, but I know ther're are freaks out there. Caution and smarts are the rule of safety.

[natcrys]

To your question: have I had the pleasure of meeting anyone that I know from this site? No... but then again, I have only been here a couple of months.. so still getting to know people. :)

Have I met people over the internet? Yes! Mostly through Flickr (back when Flickr was still awesome).. and I would use the same common sense for this forum like I would over there. First, lots of email exchanges.. probably chatting a bit.. there has to be some kind of click. If there are other interests than crossdressing, that's even better!

Then, meet-ups in a public place or at support group meetings. Or doing something together in a bigger group, safety in numbers. ;)

If it weren't for those first few people that I got to know through Flickr, it would have take me a few more years to go to my first transgender support group meeting in Amsterdam. Or perhaps I would not have gone at all. And then I wouldn't have met all the other wonderful people. :worried:

And two of those CD's I met through Flickr way back in 2007 are still very good friends whom I see (on average) at least once a month.

Just use common sense, meet people.. and you might end up with some good lasting (7 years.. I'd call that lasting, right?) friendships! :)

[JennyLynn]

I'm familiar with flickr. I try to limit my online correspondence. I like privacy.

[Sallee]

I have met several from this site and would love to meet others. It just doesn't seem to happen I do't mind meeting in drab That is what most meetings are for the first time. Coffee or a drink at a local place is fine by me. So any San Diego girls want to get together I am up for it. Day time mostly. It is fun to tlk about our mutual interest and maybe we have others too.:)

[MichelleCTTV]

My biggest motivation was to hopefully meet people with similar interests. I noticed some folks that posted regularly are from Connecticut and New England so i thought what the hell. Give it a shot! :).

[Katey888]

Jenny,

In the right context I'd love to meet some of the folks from the forum... The main context for me would firstly be the barrier of getting out... and then after that travelling around the world... :)

But where there's a will there's generally a way...

I'd have less concerns about meeting folk from here than other forums... my estimation is that probably only around 30-40% here are complete space cadets - and those are pretty good odds in my book... :devil:

I'd still carry pepper spray... (I hate that as a soft drink... I can see why the cops use it...) :)

Katey x

[JennyLynn]

It's always a risky propostion meeting someone. That's why I want to take time and really get to know someone first. Time is good!

[Vanessa5]

I have met someone to give clothes to but that is all. I want to go out with someone who shares this hobby but would do male mode first to see if we have anything in common.

[Jennifer Kelly]

I have met several from this site at SRO in San Diego, have had them come and visit and stay with me and have gone to DLV and shared rooms with them.

I love SRO! I've met one from here and we've gone out for beers in guy mode but never gone out dressed (she still hasn't told her wife, so it's a logistical nightmare). Messaged w/ a couple of more but not met yet. Trying to get some girls together on May 3 if you're interested. SRO is on the agenda after dinner.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I've met about a dozen of my Friends here FtF, in addition to several others who I met but have not friended.

That being said, I would be glad to meet other members here if they're ever in the DC area, provided we can satisfy my safety protocols.

PM me.

[5150 Girl]

Well,, I have what I would call "Commander Data syndrome" I feel alone in this town. I just think it would be nice to know that I'm not. Yes, if I was able to go to the next closest city (Columbus) I could make some friends, and not feel so alone.

[JennyLynn]

I get scared wanting to open up and be myself. Have you ever been scared to go for it?

[Amy Lynn3]

Jenny, I have met a number of members from this site as well as others, without problems. I think the first thing to do is make friends online first. You have the opportunity to screen them and their interest before you ever meet. Even after meeting some of the members, we were just not compatible enough to build a long personal friendship. Meet in drab for the first few times, until you feel comfortable being dressed.

My standard place to meet the first time is a mall, in the food court and go from there as your feelings allow.

[Ressie]

JennyLynn, there's risk and fear meeting someone from a chat site in private. But going to a CD meeting or event with a group of CDs is very low risk. If you find something like this in a nearby town, it will also diminish the fear of being exposed as a CD.

Browse the forums, Upcoming Events, Places to Go Places to Meet and Special events and Occasions to see if there are any group activities in your area. I'm sure you'll feel more relaxed after your first group event.

[docrobbysherry]

Let me say first and foremost: From my experience? If u get to know someone on cd.com? U can trust meeting them in person. :)
This is NOT tru for folks u meet elsewhere on the Web!:Angry3:

Wanting to meet some of the girls I knew from here got me out of the closet my VERY FIRST TIME over 6 years ago. I jumped on a plane and met at least 15, maybe 20, at the SCC in Atlanta. Most of those I met there r no longer on here. Many have transitioned and others r just too busy living female lives to "waste" their precious time talking about it!:battingeyelashes:

Since then, I've attended 3 more SCC's, 4 DLV's, and joined a group of local T's that meet at various weekly public venue events. Rita, Stephie, Sara, and Michelle r a few of those from cd.com.:hugs:

Not only would I recommend going out to meet cd.com girls? It may change your life! It has mine. I'm simply a closet CD. But, I go out regularly anyway because it's the best way to see and have fun with my T friends!:D

[JennyLynn]

Guess I'm just a scaredy cat. I live in a country setting that doesn't lend itself to get togethers. It would be a major hassle to go to an organized meeting. Just being a whiner here. Don't mind me!

[rian]

Dear Jenny Lynn I envy all of you who had the chance to meet and have a chance to dress and shop together ...I'm living very far away in the middle East and is very difficult to know any online ...partly it is dangerous for exposure ,,,,I hope one day Ill meet in a fixed gathering we all propose at a certain town or a city .....that is the only solution ....Good luck girls

[Ressie]

JennyLynn, could you find a meeting or event and take a trip this year? First time is nerve racking for the first few minutes, but worth while.

[Simone_40]

Not yet, JennyLynn. I recently joined this fabulous site, but I will remain cautious. It's not a safe world anymore. A girl like me could easily get beat up, especially since I can't run wearing my heels!
Kisses, :kiss:
Simone