what's the difference?

[Brooke B]

I go shopping for heels and clothes in guy mode without worrying one bit so why is it so hard to go out one time in girl mode. You would think that it would be easier. I know that once you get out the first time and break the ice it's going to be a lot better. What's your thoughts?

[Rachael Leigh]

Tammy as one who has only been out twice I understand, it's not easy we all have these thoughts going on that we will be laughed at or attacked or shunned or even see someone we know. These are things I think of but once Im in the car it seems easy but still with some worries, it's just a little unnerving.
My thoughts, but with that said it's really fun once you do it.

[Kate T]

I know some people who maintain they actually find it less stressful / are more comfortable going shopping for girls clothes when dressed femme than as a guy. Personally I don't find much of a difference though I prefer to shop for girls clothes when dressed femme as I am really fussy about fit of clothes etc. so I rarely buy any womens clothes without first trying them on with forms. On the flip side though it is a right royal pain in the ass having to worry about getting foundation and makeup all over the clothes you are trying on. Another tip is if you are planning on going on a bit of a shopping spree en femme then wear either a dress with a back zipper that you can step out of or a button up top. It reduces the makeup stain issue and also means you don't have to keep putting your wig on and off all the time.

As to why is it harder. Frankly for me it is because I have to get so many things right before going out, wig right, makeup right, right type of outfit, not too casual but not too dressy. It definitely get's better after the first few times though.

[Tracii G]

It feels about the same no matter which mode I'm in.
I do love shopping either way.

[grace7777]

I have found that shopping for girls clothes is much easier when dressed en femme.

In the past when shopping in drab I found it to be very stressful.

[Marcelle]

Hi Tammy,

I am going to make an assumption by your post that you have never been out "en femme". It is most likely easier "en boy" because you are used to it and have become comfortable with doing so. However, if you have yet to go out "en femme" it is the unknown you are more worried about (e.g., how the SOs are going to react, how other customers are going to react). If you are ready to go out "en femme" (only you will know when you are ready) then my suggestion is go out to a mall, get used to walking among the vanilla world. When you reach a comfort level, go into stores and browse and finally shop and try some items on . . . baby steps might help but once you get in the store you may realize it is no big thing and just start buying.

Hugs

Isha

[Karren H]

I just tell everyone I lost a bet! lol

[kimdl93]

After many ventures out I'd say that shopping en femme is the least threatening or anxious part of being out. The stores are seldom so crowded, other shoppers are too busy to notice and the SAs are there to make a sale.

[Teresa]

Hi Tammy,
I'm in the same position although I underdress in tights and panties especially when trying shoes. Some how I think SAs are more comfortable selling to a CDer in drab, they know how to respond to a male shopper or a female one but a guy dressed as a woman, how do you treat him ? If you get a bad experience who's fault is it ?
I had to smile at Adinas comments, I hadn't given it a thought about the complications of wig and makeup, how embarrassing to take a dress off and the wig gets caught in the zipper ! Maybe I'll keep shopping in drab !

[NicoleScott]

I just tell everyone I lost a bet! lol

But in your mind, you won the bet.

[rachel_rachel]

If I happen to get asked I just say its for me..
A long term goal of mine would be to go out shopping dressed.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Tammy, It's mind over matter, If you don't mind then it doesn't matter.

[Daisy41]

I've only been shopping en femme once and it was strange that I didn't have to worry. I could look at clothing openly and I didn't stand out for it. So I find it stranger to shop en femme since I don't have to worry.

[Jenniferathome]

In guy mode, the normals think you may be a cross dresser. In girl mode they know you are a cross dresser.

[natcrys]

^^

Love that one! :)

To OP's question, I have only gone shopping for shoes twice in boy mode.. I just feel totally out of place.. even though my rational mind says that it shouldn't matter.

For other stuff like dresses, I actually need to be dressed since I need my breast forms to figure out if the dress will fit me.

[Melissa_59]

...we all have these thoughts going on that we will be laughed at or attacked or shunned or ...

... or jumped by a gang of rednecks in pickup trucks and taken out to the north side of town and beaten to death...

Some of us don't live in the most gender friendly environments. If I had the money I'd move to Austin in a hot minute, but I can't afford to live there. Not yet, anyway - not while I'm covering my daughter's student loans.

~Melissa

[Underdressed]

Although I only buy lingerie and heels I don't find it stressful shopping in male mode and have never had any problems with shop staff.
But like you I find it very difficult to present in public, and I only have my heels on display !
Everyone said it would get easier after the first time but I seem to have to start from scratch each time I go to get out of the car.
A I stated in my intro post, "I have nothing but respect for those of you who present en-femme" Ladies that takes balls !

[Karren H]

But in your mind, you won the bet.

And I really need to up my wager next time!..... a long the lines of Brian Zembic! lol

[CONSUELO]

I had a similar situation to the one referenced by Rachel. I was recently shopping at a Dillards for perfume and the sales lady made a reference to my "wife" liking the purchase. I replied that the perfume was for me as I dislike male fragrances. It was just said conversationally and the SA did not even skip a beat. I was on my way home from a meeting, so no chance to be en femme.I then went upstairs and bought some outfits and had a lovely chat with the SA. I have no idea if she thought the clothing was for me or someone else. It was a sale and it was handled professionally.
I don't feel awkward shopping for clothing when in male mode. Once went on a lengthy hunt with a SA for an unusual bra size. Large band with small cup. That was fun and we had a good chat about all sorts of things. I really enjoy talking to sales ladies about fashion, clothing, fabrics etc. and they are always in need of some pleasant social interaction. I think that is the key; be pleasant and be ready to converse. It is a rather lonely job for most of the week.

[ClaraKay]

I have to admit that I'm so new to serious CDing that the whole idea of shopping for female clothing at a brick-and-mortor store is frightening. My DW is more than happy to accompany me for support, advice, and cover...LOL! It really gets my adrenaline up to shop this way. I know these feelings will dissolve in time. I do expect to shop en femme at SCC with my TG girl friends. There's a great mall right across the street. Can't wait!

[shawnsheila]

I have been out and about enough times where I prefer to buy things in girl mode then boy but i am not bothered either way.... if i see something cute, i'll buy it :)

Sadly I do miss the "butterflies in my stomach" excitement I used to have when i first started going out as a girl. I was terrified yet insanely thrilled that I would be out in public... it even took a while for me to get brave enough to interact with other people. It just takes time to get comfy with it, you just have to do it! :)

[Beverley Sims]

I do likewise and I do find it easier to shop for lingerie in female mode.

It is my chosen way these days.

If I see a nice thong or bra, I will buy it in either mode, when told that my girlfriend would like that I just say yes......

What do they think I am?

A dirty old man? :)

[Jamiegirl1]

... or jumped by a gang of rednecks in pickup trucks and taken out to the north side of town and beaten to death...

Some of us don't live in the most gender friendly environments. If I had the money I'd move to Austin in a hot minute, but I can't afford to live there. Not yet, anyway - not while I'm covering my daughter's student loans.

~MelissaThis is sooo funny,I am a redneck guy in a pickup when in guy mode.....

[krissygurl]

I had my first shopping experience buying some panties. I was not in girl mode and I was sooo nervous. This was just at Target too. I didn't mind when it came time to purchase but the brousing and looking through the items was stressful. It is funny how we make it such a big deal in our own minds. I think I'll be more comfortable with it next time.

[Nikki A.]

Your fear is all in your head. Once you go out and find out that the world doesn't crumble around you it will get easier.